Mishal Raheja
as Dutta
Out of my hands
part 16
The full moon that temporarily hides behind sheer flimsy sheets of clouds now forces the clouds to slide away with its calm milky presence .Once bare in its silvery spherical splendor it pours it's blue moon beams on Dutta and Naku.. both stand in gentle embrace. Seeming like lovers in a stilled world of enchantment. Naku continues to feel his warm breath against her ear, it lulls her into a giddy sensation which possess her whole being from head to toe. Under it's spell Naku closes her eyes as if to cage this feeling of rapture she never felt before. But, her timely hesitant bashfulness restrains her and she slowly, relaxes her face that presses on his chest and pulls back her head from under the roof of his stubble chin.
Dutta too allows her to face him.. after all he is the beneficiary. He gets to look upon that, which he delights in, her face! however he peers intensely into her green eyes and says firmly,
"see your hesitation.. created much too much confusion between us.. waise your excuse that I would reject you ,was pretty lame Naku..kya itna he jante hai tu mujhe? bit unfair! as it would have mattered much to me had you told me your tale of terror and then allowed me to decide.. and reject you? why what I do that Naku? you are no commodity .. you never were.. I always felt attracted to you. yes I confess ,what you yourself were aware off.. it was your beauty ,ummh at first.. but when I found out that you concealed crucial bits about yourself .. it did come as a major shock.. the discrepancy between your flawless beauty and dark secret was hard for me to grapple! insaan hoon bhagwan nehin!" Dutta sighs as he turns his face away from her slightly , then continues as he sets his penetrating lion like narrow eyes on her green doe eyes," now promise me this much, that you'll never lie to me again..?
Naku's eyes transfix under his powerful eyes and by the equally simple yet extreme request, he binds her by.She gives her head a feeble shake. Eventually without wishing to appear unaffected by his repetitive insistence of warm sentimentality towards her prompts Naku to speak out..
"DP , ye bhi aap jante ho ke wo sach , jis se dossere ko takleef ho , tu it's better to sometimes to lie"
Dutta shakes his head in disagreement and complains vehemently
"no Naku, to speak the truth is always the best.. in our case your truth would has set both of us free.. I am sure every time you came across me in this house, you must have been punctured with guilt .. as for me, I let myself go utterly morally wayward. Thought what not about you , passed judgments on you in my misery .. easily mislaid the golden rule that love neither condemns or passes judgement.. such feelings at the time seemed heresy to me.. mind you even now Naku, I am irked that you kept mum about your past.. see Naku.. I am a man with a creative flair, I imitate life as I see it with great sincerity and truthfulness.. only then can the beholder relates to my paintings and releases a reaction.. so I hate lies and misrepresentation.. so don't you justify emotional inaccuracies to me ever!.. he says severely and begins to move away from her.. but she grips his upper arm and questions..
"DP what are you going to do now? nothing drastic! I hope? you frighten me.. batao na?
"kya bataon Naku.. tu sun nehi sake ge".. he challenges her. But she too is no shrinking violet either
" main saach sune ke liye tayeer hoon DP.. try me. .bolo aap.." Dutta looks at her with a slight furrow above the bridge of his pronounced nose,
" mujhse lagan kar le Naku...,the words spontaneously flow out of his mouth. and his lips remain open.. off guard ,as he awaits her answer...
Naku's eyes expand in genuine shock! yes it's her wildest dream! but to hear it straight after relating her reality before him.. renders her speech less... and her mouth just falls apart.. Dutta looks down at her .. with a degree of disappointment. His hunch was she will jump for joy and announce a resounding yes! at least that's what he anticipated ,instead she turns into a statue ! like one that Dutta moulds out of his hands. Still stoically he gathers himself and changes his tack.. bemused he clicks his fingers before her eyes and asks,
"ayee Naku.. laut ah jahan pe khoi hoi hai... for if you don't then this sculptor will read only one meaning by your stillness that you consent to what I ask of you.. huumm? He rests his hand gently on her shoulder and with a startle Naku returns to earth and finds Dutta's imposing figure before her..
" haan...DP, wo.. main ... and her tiny fair hands cover her face. Dutta is sure she hasn't caught on to what he asked her.. this hiding from him is about being caught out by him for day dreaming.. silly girl.. but it's her quaint artless moves ,totally unrehearsed like so, that always caught his interest.. yet , as for his rather spur of the moment proposal he pauses a bit.. seeing she hasn't taken on board his .. ummh bid..
Dutta now wrestles with the sentimental turmoil. Should he broach the subject of asking her to marry her yet again ? or should he shelf the idea for a later date. Naku with beaming green eyes smiles across at him and allays his concerns..
" haan DP , I heard what you asked me and Nakusha as a person feels very blessed that you wish to include her in your life.. but it's not all that simple.. life is far complicated than it seems"
" yes life is not simple Naku, I couldn't agree more.. but who adds the complications and then who also has the merits to tackle them if not to remove them holistically? tell me.. Naku?
"DP I know , humara khud ke haat mein hota hai.. but still there is difference in theory and practice.. she replies..
"haan there is difference in theory and practice.. what issues we face and how we approach them.. but Naku it's when you confront the snags of your life ,only then you'll find your true worth.. not just in terms of how you deem yourself but also how well or not you rate before others too. From a young age this Dutta grew up as a motherless lad, he picked up vibes from well wishing neighbours that his father should remarry to nurture me.. I too lived in fear, but soon as years passed by, tongues were silenced and I took strength from my babaa who was in no way less maternal then my aye..my fear galvanized me for I too somewhere in my heart rated my father.. will he remarry or not? abhi why am I sharing this with you Naku is to elucidate what lessons we give to others by our way of life.. god has given us a discerning mind.. surely coupled with a sincere heart as human s we instruct each other by our experiences.. by our thoughts and actions.." Naku nods, all ears to snippets of his past life which leave a lasting impact on him.. she wonders what his understanding of her issues will be.. Dutta faces her and reaches for her finger tips and continues gently,
" now Naku, in theory you may well presume that being a woman what you think, feel and say is going to shock the world you live in.. tu samjhe rehe haina ju main bol raha hoon? clarifies Dutta
" yes DP, I understand you are referring to my being a widow and me challenging this status and remarrying again.. I am even frightened to talk about it..aisa lageta hai I am considering something highly unconventional.. severing chains.. there are certain unwritten but accepted rules put into practice in our society, that widows lead the rest of their life in austerity and penance for some sin committed in their past life. " she admits in a tone that complies completely with what she speaks.. Dutta shakes his head as he studies the agitation of her flushed face. signs of mutiny do surface, which for him is hopeful as it is..
"yes you are breaking away.. but from a way of thinking Naku.. fighting against the violation of your human rights if you ask me! kya thujhe nehin haq ke tu ek patni, ek maa bun ke rehene ka? live a life of normalcy? I am not saying that if will be perfect! devoid of the fluctuations of high and low tides.. all I am saying is if I am giving you the option of spending the rest of your life with me, would you turn it down? ok...now you have to decide whether to accept me or "reject me".. in your words.." asks Dutta seriously, and restricts his pressure on her slightly.
" DP, you said not to lie to you again.. so let me say it as it struck me! dil main ye khayal tu ata hai ke you want to marry me out of pity.. after hearing my story"..
"yes Naku! I feel not pity but pathos towards the experience of your life.. I don't pity you because I don't feel the shame you felt by your forced marriage. I feel pathos which sparks a sense of compassionate admiration towards you, acknowledging your skills of patience, sense of justice for the greater good ,than yourself!.. this is the difference in my perception about you.. besides don't you know out of sympathy, mercy .. the greatest emotion I feel for you is love.. Naku.. I want to offer you my love.. endless and eternal.. he sums up, and his tender wide eyes wait upon her response.
Naku as he anticipates looks up at him then briskly covers her face with her hands and cries from behind them.
" aap ne tu sab kuch khud he decide kar liya! woh family ko beich mein nehin dalina? I don't know what to say.. "she replies gingerly .. Dutta flares his nostrils and authoritatively folds his arms across his chest and growls at her..
" lagan tera se kerna hai, families se nehin! janta hoon thujhe.. isliye tu tera se hi phele pochoo raha hoon ! what's the issue? seems reasonable to me that I share my intent with you.. just making sure I don't get taken for a ride by you again! he shakes his head threateningly..
Naku giggles but then defends herself by first capturing him with her beaming smile.. then she reasons in the nicest possible way..
"dekho DP , mera kya jawab hai.. mujhe kehne ke zarorat nehin as you know me ,perhaps better than I know myself.. however we have to go through proper channels to formalize a liaison ..it's our traditional value.. all the more so ,because due to Bappa's grace we both are blessed families that have to be given credence.. I hope you don't think I am speaking out of turn?.. she says with caution..
"no Naku, you point out the most important social structure one can be part of, khud ka pariwar .. for sure it will be given it's due respect.. your reminder of family prerogatives .. indicates the harmonious bond that exists between us.. and I tell you.. ummh correct you if needs be" ..he taps the side of her head.. and he continues, "waise bhi I should know that without consulting your aye you won't budge.. so fikar maat kar family ke through he hoga.."Dutta assures her..
" Naku ne sola aane thek bola Bhau! tu kya bhag ke lagan ke plans buna reha hai? ye kaisa lotcha hai? main tu soocha tum ghar ghar khel rehe ho.. pun edhur tu mamla baje gaje tak phooch gaye! before you know it chooti chooti Dutta bhi ah jayen ge plasticine ke sher bunte hoi..! claps Baji..
Both Dutta and Naku turn and behold Baji in sher ki ghar! One look at the sheepish couple charges up Baji even more and with a zany brilliant white smile he quizzes his Bhau further...
"Kya Bhau! choori chorri.. chupke chupke in the neeli neeli chandni what's going on? areee udher meri back turn hoi aur edhur tum ghayab hone ke chalien chaal rehe ho! not done Bhau!!! your right hand should know what your left hand is up to, only then you are guaranteed a pot shot! he struts the chicken step before them!
Dutta gives Naku a helpless yet benign shake of his head and confesses ..
"ab is melodramatic drama baaz ka mein kya karoon? main life mein me koi bhi step loon , this joker is always the first to know"
" Naku don't listen to Bhau , tu meri sun ! Bhau talks about his step.. nah! nah! Baji even knows what goes on in that displaced labyrinth brain of his before he even takes the step! bata doon Bhau? humm? jests Baji..
"mera haat kam kerne lage hain Baji.. my fist your chin .. a solid shiner! tu bole to demo de doon? glares Dutta.. and then rather put off turns to Naku who stands, eyes shining, smile beaming happily being a spectator..
" ab tu edhur kyon ghare hai, don't encourage this stooge ,ja get me some dinner ready , and haan I'll eat in my den.. he instructs. Naku pulls a face and gives Baji a look who gives her a wink in return.. and she leaves the room..
~~~~~~
Baji can sense by his mate's face that this calls for a celebration.. also that Dutta is bound to confide in him about what went behind the closed doors... after a few gulps Baji badgers Dutta..
" so I take it all's well that ends well Bhau? nishaana teekh laga!
"oyee bewakoof ,phele shorru tu hone de.. thujhe bhaut jaldi hai end kerne ke"
" dekho Bhau , I have full faith in both of you but only fear is if the family brings up any niggling bits.. replies Baji..
" look Baji I know what I want, and I suspect Naku too wants the same.. but haan there are sticky issues.. woh Dilawar needs to be pasted.. he is still on the loose.. Naku and her family still fear he is likely to assault them , the day he finds locates them.. so Baji us ka pata laga.. it's important for Naku's sake.. that he is found " decrees Dutta.. Baji gulps the bitter brandy and eyes Dutta apprehensively..
"that's fine Bhau, you leave it to me, but tell me what do you plan to do with him?
"you leave that one to me Baji.. for the minute let me rejoice in my good fortune of finding someone I wish to spend my life with.. mind you I have to handle this with care too.. so as for you .. tera kam ye hai ke you need to bring babaa here on the double! and with that Dutta gulps down his drink and Baji leaves him be..
Dutta wonders if he had acted in due time or was he hasty in proposing to Naku..? is he exhibiting signs of insecurity? that before he loses her, he needs to imprison her for life? after all uske pati ne bhi tu yehe kya tha.. so what's the difference now?.. his heart tells him.. Dutta.. Naku loved him not.. but she loves you! Tranquil then , he stands before his open window in the cool breeze and lifts his eyes to the heavens and locates the sole bright star in the blue firmament.. surely that is his mother, now one with this vast universe.. he recalls affectionately with moist eyes, how once he had asked her innocently.. where do all the dead people go? Aye bole thi.."who log aasamn pe tara bun jate hain.. jahan se woh apne pariwar ko dekthe hain..".. Dutta turns from the window and leaves his studio and takes long strides towards his den.. stiffly he goes up his wooden steps enters his room, goes to his bedside, sits and reaches out for his parents picture on his bedside table..
Naku enters his den tray in hand and finds him, parents photo frame in hand, feeling the glass on his Aye's face.. he senses her in the room ,and swivels his neck sideways to her and says,
" Naku aaj maa ke bahut yaad ah rehe hai..", his voice cracks as he turns his face from her and places the picture frame back on the bedside table.
Naku is at a loss of what measure of action should she take? suddenly she comes across a certain bashfulness,now before him..that which she never felt when Mastana was within a few yards from her.. so now as she watches DP.. the strong big man transform into an overgrown child.. cries his heart out soundlessly.. minus tears, but the slight hunch of his back talks about the degree of his mute sadness. The subtle tinkle of plate upon plate, plus the aroma of bay leaf flavoured lentils soon reach his nostrils and he twists his waist and pushes himself up from his bedside. His wrists still smart.. although he tries to put up a brave front.. it's this reliance that bogs him down and he decides , whatever , he will attempt to feed himself..
Naku sets the tray on the centre boxed table before him. Dutta sits himself down on his turquoise settee, props his knees a bit and leans his back forward.. Naku uncovers the top plate and lowers her fingers to rip a morsel of roti for him.. but he places his slender fingers over her curved palm to pause her action..
"rehne de Naku main kudh kha loon ga, kitne daer tak tu meri khadmaat kare ge.. besides now there is no need .. as the air has cleared between us.. so now I release you.. he announces and nimbly breaks off a morsel of roti , curls it between his thumb and middle finger , drizzles it in the lentils and pops it into his mouth.. chews it but with his head tilted up.. he sees her leaving the room..
" Naku rok! tune kuch khaya hai?
She turns her neck then her whole body and faces him..
"nehin I haven't.. you eat first , then I'll eat later.. she said as she holds her arms behind her back.. with a playful smile he commands , "edhur ah! beith edhur beside me"
Naku sits beside him on his turquoise three seat settee.. senses a too close for comfort nearness and shuffles sideways daintily .. he turns his face sideways too and asks perplexed..
"abhi gale lage hoi thi tu mere..tab to koi masla nehin tha.. what's your issue now? seems to me you wish to carry on the dissension between us.. or does this roothi roothi petulant wave flowing amid us vouches for more thrill ..humm? of course he gets what he anticipates from her a giggle and pink cheeks..
" nehin to.. I want to bury the hatchet but you keep bringing it up.. DP can't you forget my lagan , my widow hood and the rest and move on.. seems to me you still hold these issues against me.. that's why I think my penance needs to go on perhaps? she replies passively.
" Naku there are some intimate sentiments that imbed rather profoundly both in my heart and mind.. Aye ko baachpan mein kho dena.. and now your affair.. one and only girl I love.. turns out not quite as I had thought.. so stumped I am, that every move I attempt to take.. seems on surface to be dubious.." Dutta justifies. Naku too begins to panic.. the last thing she wants is to lose him.. she cannot pass him by, for he is the man who awakens a commotion of sentiments that animate her soul.. she stares in space lost in her reverie..
"kha... pleads Dutta as he holds a niwala in his fingers before her mouth.. Naku jerks and shifts her green eyes towards his face..
"eat it.. tu bole tune nehin khaya.. so here.. open your mouth aur khaa! he commands..
Naku smiles and bops her face forward, props her chin up and takes in the morsel he offers.. Dutta stares at her ..and feeds on the sparkle of her green doe eyes.. the slow quiver of her rose bud mouth as she eats the morsel.. passingly he asks her.
" Naku tell me what was the point of saying to me that I should eat first and that you'll eat later.. ab ye bhi tere Aye nehin batya hai thujhe? humm .. Naku replies unconvincingly..
"yes and no.. she told me my babba eats first and Aye after, mujhe bhi thek lagta hai.. shows a wife's lordly respect she has for her husband.." Dutta listens intently and then replies..
" humm thek hai.. I saw my Aye and babba.. at mealtimes. Naku my babba and Aye fed me first.. baad mein khud khate thi but together! ekele ekele nehin.. Naku.. so I would like that where ever possible tu aur main saath khana khain ge.. samjhe..he insists. Naku smiles shyly and protests
"woh tu thek hai.. DP pun aap bhi kuch kha lo.. the food is for you.. Dutta raises his palms and then shows them to her.. and says slyly
"my wrists are still sore Naku.. I think I have exerted them a bit much.. tu aisa kar, apne haat se he roti khala de.. humm.." requests Dutta.. with a tiny slanted grin.. and Naku obliges with pleasure.. secretly much relived that she still has DP as her love.. it's unbelievable, magical, unreal.. that only things after her own heart are afloat in the once dark desolate corridors of her life.
~~~~~~~
Damoder bends Baji's ear in the jeep.. in the hope that he will have some inkling of why he has been summoned to Patil Nivas .. Baji confirms with a chuckle, that as like always, it is largely due to his son,
"dekho kaka aap ke supoot mein itne gun hain ki Patil Nivas ke headlines mein Dutta Bhau he rehta hai".
Aye Sahib too is wondering why the sudden call for a caucus? Baji here too, puts his arm around his mother's shoulders and consoles her with an innocent dimpled smile.
"dekho Aye Sahib.. aagar aap ye sooch rehe hain ke Dutta koi kam ke baat kare ga tu.. aap khalat sooch rehe hain.. aaj tak Bhau ne koi kam hamri marzi ka kiya hai? nehin na? tu chalien ye bhi sun lein kya bolta hai! Baji announces tongue in cheek.
Dressed in his black pathiani.. Dutta approaches the lounge as he feels the insides of his left ring finger diagonally with his right fore and middle fingers.. one keen look across tells him all the key people that matter to him and her are present. His father in particular is allowed to give him a warm hug with a fatherly robust thump on Dutta's back. once his father is eased back into his chair. Dutta announces loud and clear.. primarily to all present.
" babaa, Aye Sahib.. main Nakusha ke saath ju ke is waqat ek widwa hai lagan kerna chata hoon! kuch time se pasand kerta tha use.. chata hoon ab saab ke rai bhi jaan loon." Damodar eyes pop out in astonishment at the revelation of Naku being a widow.. Dutta is more interested in his father views regarding acceptance of widow as his daughter in law. Damoder nods his head in whole hearted consent,
" dekh Dutta tu jab Naku ko student buna ke ghar pe liya tha, tab se he mujhe is baachi main koi baat nazar ati thi.. khubsorrat tu hai.. gun bhi thek lage muhje uske.. aur widwa ko phir se aabad kerna..is se tu baghwan bhi khush hoga.. mera ashirwaad tera saath hai" promotes his father.
Dutta lowers his head shyly but still hangs in there ,for reactions from others present. As soon as Dutta first announces his intent and purpose of the gathering.. Babi feels a ton of bricks fall upon her.. reacts, as while Damoder speaks ..by mopping her brow, intermittently , till she makes know her right to express her views.. with a nervous laugh..
" deva! re deva! Bappa ye kaise mushkil mein tu hum maa beti ko daal raha hai? Dilawar meri baachi ke jaan ke pheeche phele se para hoya hai.. ab jabhi use pata chala Naku ka lagan hone wala hai.. saach mein meri phool se baachi ko mar de ga? Babi wails. Baji who stays out of the meeting but skirts around is forced to intervene.. in full on gusto!
" areee thand rekho kaki! aise kaise Dilawar Naku ko mare ga.. koi halwa hai? ye Baji rao ne koi ghungroo nehin band rekhe apne paroon mein.. tum chinta maat karo.. mera Bhau ke lagan ke baat hai.. tum bas ye batao tum ke aashirwaad dena hai ke?" Dutta gently turns to Baji and raises up his palm for his friend to hold his horses. Aye Sahib too arbitrates.. with something rather crucial..
"ye saab tu thek hai, Naku humien phele din se hi apne Dutta ke liye pasand thi.. pun ye tu batao kisi ne Naku se bhi poocha hai ke who kya chate hai? Dutta does what he decides needs doing!
" uske koi zaroorat nehin Aye Sahib! Naku ke taraf se haan hai.. mujhe aisa bola hai us ne..waise bhi aap log khud bare hain.. samjhedar hain.. soochien ek lardki kya bole ge jab us ke lagan ke baat chal rehe ho? firms up Dutta with a nod as he slowly shifts his eyes to Baji who gives him a righty ho! wink..
Once the main topic on the agenda is covered. Dutta decides to take no further questions..as he is positive the group will engage themselves in questions and sort things out.. bless the girl and boy's families.. they just get on with it.. leaving the boy and girl to reap the fruits of a love they sow..
Hence slowly,he saunters off to the narrow corridor next to the lounge that leads to annexe.. apprehensive.. pleased with himself.. good he spoke on her behalf, speeds the matter..
Naku much to Dutta's pleasure approaches from the opposite direction and he once again blocks her way.. by the stretch of both his arms across the narrow corridor.. she stops in her tracks and gives him a quizzical look.With a stiff neck and eyes hooded slightly he declares in a matter of fact manner..
" tere kahne par , I followed custom and practice and consulted both sides of our families regarding our marriage.. but according to me and I hope you agree with my decision.. I have given your consent also regarding marrying me.. huumm? kuch baat teri.. aur kuch baat meri... any questions? he asks with attitude.. pauses and continues.. sometimes it's better to lie.. that's what I did Naku.. lie that you have said yes to marrying me.."ab tera kya saach hai Nakusha.. tu he jane."
Naku just raises her winged eye brows and mumbles shyly, her clichd one liner which never fails to get her out of the stickiest situations wit , this lovable soft in the soul creative mortal..
"main kya bolege DP...
good! he exclaims and lowers his strong arms and gathers himself to one side of the corridor to allows her to brush past him.. she hears him say under his breath..
"nafrat hai mujhe safeed sari mein thujhe dekhne se..."...
to be continued Hamlet53 12.12.14
~~~~~~~~~~
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Hindi TV Shows
Web Series
