'Bas Ek Ghuzarish'chapter 21/p60 Conclude - Page 5

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meghaparti thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#41
Thanks for sharing Jags..Wow dear really...FR in the 1st two chapters...Now that is called a different story line all together...Amazing storyline..Waiting for u to post the next part soon😃
ushankitvc thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#42
Congrats on ur new FF... superb start... luved it to the core... here dutta finds out abt her real face... like the flow of the story... why did dutta ask baaji to take nakku to his bedroom??? is he going to ask her to marry him??? ...updt sooon...waiting eagerlyyy...
jagrutid thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: suhana19

Hey dear jagruti 🤗
First of all Congrats on if new FF 👍🏼
Thanx alot for the wonderful updates and pm ..loved it as always
Great start yaara ..fab flow of the story ..omg FR in first 2parts ...that just awesome ..waiting to see what dutta have in mind ..thanx yaara..pls jaldi update karna ..
U take care and see ya around
Love and hugs
Suhana
🤗



hey nice to see ya on this thread, thank you for coming to read this ff of mine too.
Pleasure is all mine and its nice to know you enjoyed the first chapters. Like I've said to everybody else really wanted to get the face reveal business out of the way quick. We had too much prolonging in the serial its self didn't want more in my ff.
As for what happens next ..you will have to wait to read the next chapter..
again thank you very much.!
jagrutid thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#44

Originally posted by: mnx12

Nice start, I've just read both the parts, story looks quite gripping👍🏼 Thanks😊




Hey thank you very much glad you liked the ff so far..keep reading..! and thanks
for the feedback.😉
jagrutid thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: meghaparti

Thanks for sharing Jags..Wow dear really...FR in the 1st two chapters...Now that is called a different story line all together...Amazing storyline..Waiting for u to post the next part soon😃



hey thank you for reading this new ff of mine and yep the whole face thing over and done with.god that would have been another nightmare if that was to be the basis of my ff..nope..having none of that.😉😆but thank you very much ..will update soon.
jagrutid thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: ushankitvc

Congrats on ur new FF... superb start... luved it to the core... here dutta finds out abt her real face... like the flow of the story... why did dutta ask baaji to take nakku to his bedroom??? is he going to ask her to marry him??? ...updt sooon...waiting eagerlyyy...



hey very good question😳??? but you will have to wait to read the next chapter to find out ..but i would be very intrested to here what you think duttas intentions are.. i cant reveal anything..but yep will update soon. Thank you very much for reading..and commenting.
jagrutid thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: sdr66

When will u update?



The plan is either late
night sunday (17th) (uk time),thank you very much
for waiting patiently though.😳

jagrutid thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#48

Originally posted by: MishalsFAN

Me first
reserved:-)
EDITED:
wow...jags really i impressed by ur writing skill...loved the starting.
It seems like Totally different story...as dutta is aware abt nakushas true colour and her past story.
Loved the way u picturise nakku in this updated...innocent and always scared of duttas decision.
Iam curious to know that what is duttas decision for nakku. Why baaji to brought nakku to his room..?
Update soon
and thanku for giving another such a wonderful ff after berang jindagi sahab k naam.



hey! nice to see you on this thread..so pleased that you guys have come back to read a second ff from my side. Thanks. Your too kind with your words..just writing how it comes to mind...when i look back at it ..i see lots of errors..just because i write as it comes to mind..so have to aplogise there. As for the storyline yep i guess the basic characters or very much the same..just played the with storyline a little hoping you will like this version. As for what happens next i'm afraid you will have to wait to read the next chapter.
thanks though!
jagrutid thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#49
Chapter 3

Nakusha following baaji silently through the corridors of Patil Niwas a little unsure as to what was to happen next stopping at the entrance of duttas bedroom baaji's eyes..point towards the inside of the room. Instructing nakusha to enter.

Taking a step into the room ..a little wary of why she had been brought here..nakusha glances around duttas room for a second. A room which she had only entered a few times before. Taking duttas dinner up to him was usually the reason but as nakusha looked around nothing seemed unfarmiliar.

Baaji leads nakusha to the rest room opening the door of the white furnished bathroom.. baaji passes nakusha a white towel whilst standing at some distance.
She was expected to remove that colour from her face…is what she had gathered..stepping into the bathroom in silence nakusha was thinking through a mix of feelings. Duttas words, the way he seemed so stern yet there was a sensitivity in behind those words, there seemed to be care for her in his words in his actions otherwise why would he bother to do this for her. Nakusha feeling a strange warmth yet fear within approaching the wash basin she turns the tap on…seeing the gush of water that was to wash away that darkness from her life for ever nakusha pauses for a second to look up into the mirror and that dark avatar of hers for the last time.
As Nakusha stepped out of the bathroom, baaji who was waiting a little impatiently with his back turned to the washroom door, turns his expression as he hears the door open. His eyes fall on nakushas expression having never seen her in this form, only heard of this truth of hers from dutta baajis eyes take to a certain surprised yet silent yet overwhelm.

As dutta walks the corridors in a thoughtful silence thinking over nakusha and her past the way in which this girl seemed to dominating his thoughts ever since her truth had been revealed to him..dutta continues walking in a very pensive state. Yet in doing so as baaji approaches from the opposite direction dutta fails to see nakusha who is walking behind baaji but as both stop in there steps. Nakusha steps out form behind baaji to his side, her eyes lowered with dutta's presence and colourless and natural skin tone to her face..duttas eyes take notice of nakusha. His eyes..deeply looking upon that expression of hers make out a more content expression from her now. Loosing himself a little in thought dutta reassembles himself after a few seconds and looks over towards baaji.

"Baaji ghar ke sabhi sadayso ko bol ke mein apni kuch baat unke samne rakhna chahta hoon
."
Baaji nodds with a "ho bhau" and walks off to leave yet as dutta..walks past nakusha..who is paused in front of him his eyes again..trail off to her expression as there eyes lock for a second dutta reads an unsure yet content glow in those eyes of hers before she drops them to the floor.

As all the members of Patil Niwas gather in the lounge dutta from balcony of the staircase…watches over them before speaking. Baaji to right of dutta and nakusha who was made to stand at the left of him..

Duttas posture as ever firm…he sounds his words..in way which all family members here. Aayi sahab, kishore, sudharshan, leela, roops, baabi, ganpat. sethji..all surprised expect nakushas family who seem a little scared to see nakusha in this from look up to the staircase in a shock. Unknown to what was going on they remain silent as dutta speaks

"Is ghar mein …koi bhi..is ladki se..apne atit ke baare mein koi saval nahin karega.
Aur kise ne yeh ghustaaki ki..toe javab use mein dunga.."


Nakusha surprised to hear duttas words takes a glance up to her side for a second. As the rest of the family expect duttas instructions they all take leave resuming there own task at hand but as dutta turns away…nakusha stops him.
"Sahab
…"
Hearing that soft almost silent voice from behind him..
Dutta turns..looking down on nakuha..his eyes giving off nothing as he watches nakusha hesitate..before speaking.. but after a certain pause she manages to use one word that sums up her feelings. "Sukriya..'

Dutta nods in acknowledgment of her thank you and she lifts up her expression to him…he sees formation tears in those eyes hers…thanking him sincerely. A certain comfort in those eyes of his passes a warm look of understanding before turning away. Nakusha watches dutta turn in his steps and walk away.

…..
Mid morning the next day
as Dutta sits within the comfort of his room, sitting in that particular open balcony area behind his desk. Dutta dressed in a more imformal white kurta looks busy with official work, sitting behind his laptop looking rather intense per expression. But just as dutta finishes his work baaji walks into the room and behind him at some distance Nakusha who brings Dutta's chai.
As baaji walks in first with that evergreen touch of youthfulness to his expression, skip in his step the colour of the day pale yellow over his denim jeans. Stopping close to duttas desk as dutta shuts the cover of his laptop..his eyes look up at baaji who looks like he's up to something.
"bhau mein tere leighyey bohot saruri kaam laaya hai…"

Dutta glares at baaji a little for his friend had an habit of perceiving things a little bigger than they actually are.
Dutta watches as baaji moves away duttas laptop from the centre of the desk to the side..taking out a number of photographs from the right pocket of his kurta..he lays these square shaped pictures of marriage proposals down on the table for dutta. dutta knowing full well this was one of aayi sahab ploys his eyes take to a disagreeing sigh yet he simply watches baaji lay each picture down on the table in an neat fashion each image sat next to the other.
As baaji went about his little task..nakusha stopping at some distance..before approaching them..almost the are of his room that led from within his room to the balcony..in her hands a white cup and saucer of tea on a tray..nakusha waits for duttas permission before approaching. Silently standing at a distance and without intention hearing the on going conversation nakusha finds and appropriate moment to interrupt..
"Sahab…chai.."

Dutta looks toward ..the distance..and sees nakusha..dressed in a royal blue shad of loose fittied dress..her hair plaited back..a very soft expression on her face..without that dark shade to her face her eyes lowered to the loor as he looked towards her. dutta ..nodds permitting nakusha to walk in..he watches her closely as she approaches the desk..takes the cup of tea off the tray and puts it in an appropriate place on the desk. as dutta takes a look at nakusha for a second wanting to note nakushas expression this morning after that confrontation last yesterday, dutta couldn't make much of her expression. She didn't seem to be upset nor expressive in anyway just calm, composed which was enough for him to know that he had made the right decision. Looking back at baaji and the way finishing lining up those pictures and pulls back..

Pictures of girls none of which dutta cared for because he simply didn't belive in the institution of marriage or love for that matter. Baaji looking at his wrist watch in a very significant way tells dutta that he had a time limit for this task.
"Ab bhau…tere pas das minuet hai..is mein se…ek chun le….varna..mere ko aayi sahab bata kar gayi hai ke..das minuet ke baad aapka time khalas bhau…woh kudh akar bahu chun legi phir muje mat bola ke …aisi mili..vaisi…mili baaji!"
dutta takes one of his glares at baaji's comments up from his seat slowly..standing behind his chair..he folds his arms in a disinterested manner and his eyes trail across the various images.
Nakusha feeling a little out of place more so a little hurt by the way talks of duttas marriage seemed to taking place. .she never expected herself to feel so strongly about something that was never going to be hers.
Wanting to leave the room..feeling a little out of place nakusha asks for permission but is denied.
Sahab…mein jaaon,..?

Per moment which was a little on the intense side ..baaji shushes nakusha..
"Rukh naa.naku…sochne de naa bhau ko ..khali panch minit bache hai uske pas."

Nakushas eyes trail across the top of the desk at the pictures of those girls each one of them fair, slim, pretty. But nakusha looking at duttas expression for a second is quick to judge that didn't didn't care for any of them.
As duttas time is over…aayi sahab happens to walk into the room..
Stopping next to baaji and naku aayi sahabs tone of voice is hopeful "Toe dutta..kya socha tune…?? Is mein se meri bahu..kaun banegi.."
Dutta looks at aayi sahabs expression which as ever was always hopeful that one day her son will come around the idea of marriage.
Dutta looks at aayi shahab with a sigh…and again like many a time he re-explains his feelings ..
Aap jaanti hai aayi sahab…ke muje is…shaadi mein…pyaar mein koi dejasbi nahin ..yeh sab mere leighyey nahin hai aayi sahib..

Dutta looks at aayi sahab..who again..looks hurt by the way dutta time and time again refuses the idea of marriage.
All she wanted is for dutta to be happy..for there to a reason more than Patilwadi that he would live for.
Aayi sahab..upset and hurt ..turns away from dutta..to her side in aim to demonstrate how unhappy she was. Dutta knowing full well this was aayi sahabs way of trying to get him to change his mind. Walking around the table to where aayi sahab was standing…standing behind her dutta rests the palm of his right hand on aayi sahabs shoulder as she goes on to speak..her words heartfelt seem to melt dutta.
As aayi sahab puts her feelings in the form of words duttas, nakushas and baaji expression all creases in there particular manner in concern for aayi sahab was genuinely hurt.

"Mein sirf apne bete ko kush dekhna chahti hai..

Maana ke zindagi teri hai, lekin ismein kushiya ho woah tera haaq hai dutta..

Jab mere vakt aayeyga tab tere baba ko kya muhn dekhaugi mein..

Kya kahungi mein.. jo sab ki kushiyon ke leighyey jeeta aayay hai..uksi zindagi mein kushiya nahin laa saki mein. Maa hokar apna fars nahin nibhazaki mein.."


Dutta realising that aayi sahab had felt very deeply about this, .turning her around gently..duttas sees those eyes of hers filmed with tears and it is apparent to him that for years now he had neglected this responsibility of his. Always thinking of himself In this matter not once did it occur to him that his marriage would be something that would make his family happy his aayi sahab happy. Wiping away those tears that trial down his mothers expression dutta pauses sighing a little before he nods reassuringly. Walking back around his desk..behind that chair..dutta takes another glance over those photographs.. folding his arms in front of his chest he pauses for a second.

Taking a glance over to nakusha..who stands at a distance next to baaji with her eyes lowered dutta looks back that those photographs. Lifting his eyes with a certain adamant nature duttas eyes upon nakusha as he speak a decision that surprises all.
" meine faisla kar leya hai"


Duttas eyes trailing from Nakusha to aayi sahab who looks confused at dutta waiting for dutta to clarify himself. "Bata dutta is mein se kise pasand kiya hai tunne? Aayi sahab asks excited to know who it was. But as dutta looks over those photographs his words stun all three of them …

"Nakusha "
duttas eyes locked on Nakusha in a very deep and significant manner carry a certain adamant yet unreadable sentiment. He had made his decision and as nakusha lifted her eyes with instance to meet his shocked at his words nakusha fails to make out what those eyes carried for her. Was it really the desire to have her as a life partner or was it just another selfless decision from Dutta Shri Ram Patil to keep his loved ones happy?
...

ok there we are guys not a very long chapter but hope you liked it all the same, please do leave your comments
and thank you for all your lovely feedback so far. 😳
Edited by jagrutid - 14 years ago
Iridescence1 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#50
RESERVED ...heehee 😛

Edited :

jagzzz ! ! ! mein aagai :D

heehee ..i was superfast...just got home from work and was quickly responding to pms & reply to last pm and your pm popped up and I got soo excited lol jetted right to it :P so I can let you know I am present in your thread ...as always :P

ok am all ready ...here we go ...

Chapter 3


I really like the begining itself of this update ...there is so much there...after Dutta gestures...Nakusha follows baaji silently but unsure as to whats coming next...she lacks the confidence and courage to stand up for herself, to be who she wants to be...but when it comes to her 'saab' she'll walk into the unknown just like that..she has no idea how he will react and what he is up to...but she just listens ...but the truth here is she does it not because he is her master or she has to ...but because she wants to ...

Baaji just hands her a towel without saying a word...Naku is expected to take off her color ...like u have mentioned..the way in which he approached this entire situation ...is very Dutta like...how he used his authoritative mannerisms, and stern expressions and words to do something good for Naku...but really it's not just because he thought the idea was idiotic and that they were fools to do it...but I think rather because he felt there was so much pain for Naku ...so much sacrafices she made because of it...deep down he felt something which wanted to do something for Naku...out of care ..

Baaji Baaji Baaji...lol ...he is like where did this girl hail from ...loved his impatient waiting come surprised expression. Oh ho ...Naku is dominating DSP's thoughts...of course ...hmm and i love her mini official entry as herself in front of her saab...coming from behind Baaji and Dutta's eyes falling upon her...i can just imagine this sooo well...

Omg he tells the whole family to ask no questions ...love him ...and he is so falling for her hehe ...altho gadha hai na ...will not realize it for long time i am sure...and the way he says it again...its as if it was an order but his words are completely out of care for Naku

her call 'sahab' always has that effect to make him stop ...soft...and melt lol...something something happens in his heart wen he hears it na :P and that moment where she says thanks and he warmly nods to it all and her tears and his expressions...so many unspoken words right there...so much feelings...

you know the mention of Baaji just lightens the mood always for me...lol him and his chirpiness i love it...so lets me read what saruri kaam he has brought for our dear DSP...ooommmgg proposals...hmmm this should be fun...hahah Dutta can read her now too ...her calm composed behavior ...enough for him to know what he did had indeed been good.

haha only ten minutes to pick the girl he will spend the rest of his life with ...first of all i would argue that point ...that impossible and secondly the girl is standing before him not in any picture there so no point in looking heehee :P

Poor Naku hurting her to hear the talks of D's marriage and to see the photos too eh...but she was able to see that disinterest in Dutta ...must have made her feel better...see again...she will not say anything for herself...unless the situation brings it out...its her character...she has this image of herself that she deems as unworthy for any such life...but hopefully she will change all that and this whole proposal topic only helps lead these two on the path that finds each other...

Aww the little moment btwn AS-Dutta ...every little gesture was so adorable...it really defines their relationship and he melted to her words...and realized that this is something he will do not for himself but to make his mother happy...which i think was very soft side of Dutta...to do something u dont want for the sake of another...loved this very much...oh standing there crossed hands looking over pictures...i want to say toda upar dekh ...Naku ki taraf LOL ...omg he said he made his decision...OMG Nakusha ...lmao no way ...i dont believe it...hmmm i am wondering if he is going to make her choose??? but it would be nice if he really meant her too ...but i did not expect him to say her one bit...and still having trouble thinking that...hmmm continue soon jagz ...or i will imagine my own story here LOL ...

as usual loved everybit of your update...there is something about the way you write that is addicting lol...

👏👏great work...keep it up👍🏼 ...

love you lots...🤗take care ...phir milenge chalte chalte 😛



Edited by daya0628 - 14 years ago

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