The Second Chances upd Epilogue pg63 on 22thFeb - Page 20

Originally posted by: prettywoman

Hey Shilpi.. hugs.. such a beautiful part.. read it a few times by now..Hubby is away for a week come Saturday and then I might just go back and read some o my fav FF's back to back again ..sorry, most of the times my comments are very point centric na.. just realised that today, must be the after effects of being in such a job I guess ;-P

Hey Vandu....so jiju out for some days...kids sirf tumhari jimedaari...my god hope they don't drive you nuts...yes you read those ffs...mine included...hope they soothe your frayed nerves..

He had always known that meeting this woman again would be the penultimate mistake especially in this city,

Now what does this mean.. what would be the ultimate mistake.. cant be falling in love with her as he knows he already is, has been and forver will be in love with her.. so what would be the ultimate mistake, shilpi?! Admitting his love to her.. maybe..

His ultimate mistake..as he thinks will be trying to take his love for her to another level..like as you said confessing his feelings and all his desire for her.;..

The manager- how would I know, sir? Give them to your wife. She'll be delighted. Dutta- I don't have a wife.

U broke my heart here Dutta.. well, I did not expect you to just turn around and give it all to the woman sat next to you, but dil mein ek chuban hui whn u said that.. a feeling of despair for you dutta!

Thats just it...Dutta is so set on leaving that he can't even dream of being with her...for past 5 yrs he had taught himself not to even dream such things as having her as his wife....he has made himself like a block of ice....in isolation you tend to lose touch with humanity and feelings everything becomes just a way of survival....dutta had been living in a shell for past 5yrs...right now he only wants to go back to that shell.

She looked away from him in disgust and clenched her hand. He noticed for the first time that Nakkusha was holding a disfigured, bend silver armlet. The chain was broken and the plate was bent at one end,it had a hindi script engraving on it which she was fingering lovingly- it was his name,DUTTA. She was holding his babyhoods jewelry, armlet, anklets, a kumarband, some silver bangles. His ma had held on to his childhood in those bits of accessories. Dutta whispered- Naksh!

She looked away- She was keeping all these for her daughter-in-law, your wife. And she wanted to remold these for her grandchild. Nakkusha lifted the tiny armlet to him.

Men, I tell ya.. all said and done at the end of the day sometimes they can be plain stupid idiots.. he even entertained the thought if at least for a fleeting moment to sell his mum' jewellery.. what she had bought even after Da passed away.. it so takes a woman to understand such stuff.. thank god, I have a daughter as just having men in the house would have driven me up the walls ;-P

yeah, daughters and moms are best friends....in my house mom shares passion for jewellery wid bhabhi....as i am least bothered...she keeps collecting these sets and gold jewels for my wedding and now bhabhi takes double interest after all bhabhi is daughter of surat's diamond merchant...very bandini style.

She had said that it was brought by her secret Santa. She was a smart kid who knew that her gifts were brought by her dad and mom. But the appearance of this surprise gift had totally baffled and excited her. With time she had figured out that he had been putting away those gifts and she would start hinting what she wanted to him by saying,'Maybe my secret Santa can bring me this, this Christmas.

We have secret santa at work every Xmas Shilpi.. it is very much fun. We pick names out of a hat and buy a gift for the person whom we have picked. The person never knows who bought it for him/her.. usually it is a silly present or something meaningful if you pick someone you know very well in your team. Maybe u can do it at your work next Xmas!

We have secret santa too...its super cool..haina...by the way dekha kya unsuitable gift diya hai dutta ne nakku ko safari knife....he still thinks of her as kid...tomboy...they have grown apart in just few months...kitne door kitne pass...you know i have experienced that the closest friend drift apart the fastest..maybe coz we take them for granted.

. Fifteen? When had she grown up so much? He shook his head fifteen or not that still left her underage for drinking.

Bingo, suddenly he realises that she has grown up.. the problem is she has been growing up right under his nose and he never realised it.. but now that he has moved onto jnr college and doesn't see her as much , he never realised that she will also soon be in college na..

Arey itna shochne ka mauks kaha tha...naksh was super drunk na?

What are you middle naming me for?

Wow, even in that state, she doesn't take any crap from him!! thats the speciality of naksh....she never takes things lying down....in one update i told you na that she is so bold that she scares men at work.

Nakkusha- Now I see two of you. Kool. Now one of you can go to that wretched college and other can always stay with me. How sexy is that?

Seriously, this is the line that has stayed with me in this whole part. That one line says a lot more than anything she could have said.. he obviously being obtuse has let that statement go over his head! But, my heart goes out to her here. She is missing him like hell. For all these years, she has been a shadow to him, and suddenly she has no one to follow.. no one to share her thoughts, dreams and everythign in life. How miserable that would be..how lonely that would be for her..felt like giving lil naksh a tight hug here..

i wanted to hug her too....but i was thinking kya drunk hone ke baad she can talk so much...and that too linking her thoughts..

Hypocrisy in Indian Democracy!

Ha ha ha😆

Please tudu. Daddy is annoyed with me too. Please don't scold me. I am seeing you after 'she stopped, trying to count the days but couldn't hold her concentration long enough. Nakkusha continued- I am seeing you..after'after'a looong time..please don't scold me. I promise, I'll ask permission for even drinking coke from now on. Promise. She leaned near him pinching her fair throat. She looked up at him with huge eyes and Dutta felt like drowning in them. He looked away- this is digusting, naksh. Nakkusha burst into tears- please don't be like this. Daddy has grounded me and is not allowing me in the Christmas party. I don't mind that as you are here with me but please don't be angry with me.

This whole part including the kiss was beautifully written. She is such a child woman now, isnt she. He never noticed that until tonight.. waise bhi she is always in boyish clothes.. he was seeing her after so long and that too in feminine attire..must have realised a few things today Dutta! Bless her, she sounds so innocent saying she had not seen him for so long, trying to count the days and dressing up for him..

. Wonder, pleasure, fright,anger,shame. He read them all and felt them in his blood in equal measure. He would not have stopped with a kiss, he knew it and it killed him to see in her eyes that she knew it too. She looked at him hurt and scared and fled to her room before he could say anything. But he had seen that look and he knew that he would never forget that look of disgust on her face ever. He felt like a lowlife to have abused her innocence. He walked out slowly wishing someone to be there to ground him, too. He needed to be punished for his sins. She would now always remember her first kiss with revulsion, all thanks to him.

I totally understand the emotions and specially in that right order they are experienced by both. Having been born and bred in India, I can totally connect to why those emotions are in that order..oh, poor boy, thinks she will remember her first kiss in revulsion..sigh..

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. She had her dreams tied to each article in there.

I am sure nakusha also has dreams attached to each item, not juts his mum na.. and dutta is so obtuse here!

And just as the sweet soothed her burn, his concern soothed her fears. He cares. He loves. She resolved again. Dutta got back to his seat after feeding her the sweet.

I feel just like naksh here.. One moment he is oh so detached with her that my heart plummets, but then tum aisa kuch likhthi ho or something happens which brings out the hidden caring, loving part of him, that my heart soars along with nakku here.. it must be so difficult na considering she has so lil time and just her instincts which say that he loves her..

He looked at her somberly- How do you know what those jewels meant to her?

Now she remembers the FB.. but does she tell him the reasons later on.. Or is it just the readers who know why/how she understands the importance of those jewels..

the FB are what the characters have but they are for the readers only...the characters silently recall the events related to the present event/..like dutta recalled the beggar scene in last update here naksh recalls her moments with aunty... i present them so that there is a link between past and present...for the readers..

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Nine years ago, 14^th November 2001

Dutta's home.

Nakkusha fixed the heavy gold jhumka on her ears and looked at her image in the mirror. She looked ridiculous she thought. Nakkusha- aunty, why do you keep buying these jewelry? You don't wear them. Nakkusha had come with her mom to check out Shakuntala's latest possession this diwali- the jhumkey. Nakkusha was playing dress up as both the mothers discussed the rise in prices of gold. She had also wrapped shakuntala's wedding saree for the full effect of the beautiful jewels.

OMG.. see, I had always thought up of a sequence of naksh in a sari and Dutta seeing her.. but this is just beyond words for me.. she dressed by his mum, in his ma's weding sarik, wearing his ma's traditional jewels..brings me to tears here..Ahmazing Shilpi!

Loved jhow both the mums are so practical yet rooted. They both value the traditions but also know that one cannot hang on to the past forever.. loved how shakuntala lapses into Marathi seeing how pretty Naksh looks.. do we ever get a scene where she wishes Naksh became her bahu and where D wil not be a part of that scene as he still thinks it is incestuous! I don't know somehow there is more to the mums and Naksh here in this scene' cannot just finish with her dressing up.. why do I feel Shakuntala aunty and Naksh might have a scene later on.. but then, maybe not as Naksh never realises D's love na.. and she was maybe never aware of his love untill the night he comes bck right.. after that kiss, she knows and tells herself that she SHOULD have known it was him all along.. so hmmm.. not sure.. but I am sure you will surprise me as always!

Well i would love to surprise you..

"My God! Naksh are you dressing up for some cheap fancy dress party? You look ridiculous."

Nakkusha turned to see Dutta lounging at the door laughing at her. Nakkusha- think of the devil. And for your information I was just trying out aunty's collection of jewels.

C'mon, Dutta already knew his feelings by this time.. he has already kissed her twice and knows the place she has in his life..C'mon I expected a croaky voice from Dutta not a cocky answer here.. c'mon seeing her so beautiful in his mum's sari must have some effect on him, c'mon shilpi.. unless u have left that for the next part, huh? I was expecting to see a Dutta with the wind knocked out of him seeing her like that.. I am sure he is putting up a cocky pretense for her benefit that he is least affected..but his real reactions will be a treat to read! I am sure he is trying his best to move on with Avanti and banish Naksh from his heart.. this must be part of all that he has been doing to forget her ever since he fell for her'but remember dhruv doesn't get carried away by appearances...plus he has been away from home for past few months...also now he is busy with avanti...he doesn't really pay attention to Naksh...also maybe she was not really looking that grt in navari...haina! but don't worry dutta ke hosh tab udenge jab he realises that he loves naksh....that moment has not come yet..both the kisses were adolscent moment of madness and both have conveniently tried to forget them...like it never happened...remember naksh only realised that the night before in present and Dutta realised it at some point in the past...aren't you curious how, when, where he realised his deep love for naksh?

And avanti is from kochi..OMG, that is my place.. though Avanti is not a Mallu name.. but I guess now a days, you cannot say any particular name comes from a particular part of India right?!

Oh..i didn't know avanti is not mallu name....its my school friends name...i am using her as the avanti here...my friend is maharashrian.

Anyway, it was a treat to read.. not sure if I can read next part as will be with a heavy heart esp now that this Avanti female has come in.. But would love to see how D cannot stay away from Naksh in spite of Avanti being there! Chalo enuf of my bashans! I beter go and do some work now ;-)

Take my hint and read the next part with excitement....the parts from now onwards will be super pivotal in bringing them together....dutta- nakkusha are already in love and they both know they love eachother...their problem is not the present..its the past they have lived..or rather the past that dutta had lived...in the present he'll learn to accept the fact that he can't run away this time...and ironically his attempts to run away in the past will make him accept nakkusha's love without guilt...sometimes the problems are not outside ones heart they are inside...here in second chances...their demons are not Kala, anna, morey or seema...here Dutta's demons are his belief that he had failed somewhere and doen't deserve her..

I'll try to portray this complexity to the best of my abiliy...but don't know if i'll suceed.

Ch9: Understanding

Nine years ago, 14^th November 2001

Dutta's home.

She hated the girl with gusto even with being introduced to her just three hours ago. Nakkusha looked at them together Dutta was helping her with lighting a flowerpot. Nakkusha felt like puking with disgust. Even a child could do it, but the way dutta was finding excuses to paw the girl, you would think she was lighting up a plastic explosive or something. If it was her simpering like that dutta would have bashed her for being a chicken and it would not have been the first time either. He had always said that he hated female wiles and squeamish behavior. It looked like that Avanti was an exception.

Nakkusha had been struck when she had turned around and seen Avanti. More due to her classically beautiful features. She looked like a elegant heiress, 'lady diana' kind of woman. She was dressed in frayed denims and pink shirt and in spite of the manly attire she oozed femininity. She had greeted aunty and her mom with comfort of age old acquaintance. When she had greeted nakkusha, nakkusha was hard pressed to find a fault with her friendly tone. Nakkusha might have liked her; she might have also adored her and asked for tips for dressing up and other things. Only if she had not seen what she had within fifteen minutes of being introduced to Avanti.

Aunty had asked Dutta to take her up to the guest room, so that she could freshen up for the evening lakshmi-pujan. Dutta had picked up her bag and lead her away playfully tugging nakkusha's long ponytail. Aunty had then asked nakkusha to take the fresh towels and soap bar to guest bathroom for avanti. Nakkusha was about to knock on the door when she heard a masculine groan of pain. She had not been able to resist peeping in. She saw them reflected in the full-length mirror facing her. He was holding her to him like a drowning man holds a piece of floating wood. They were enclosed in deep embrace that excluded all. Watching them like that suddenly brought to her mind the incidences of long away christmas and the movie hall, incidences that she had locked away in far recesses of her mind,like a bad dream. With it came a pain which sheered her insides, bile rose to her throat. She swiftly moved away leaving the things in her hands on the side table beside the door. They hadn't even heard her leave as she could still hear the moans as she resided.

Nakkusha's skepticism at feeling hurt when she saw them together turned to annoyance when she saw Avanti come out for the puja.She was dressed as differently from when she came as possible. She had donned a simple white and light blue salwar kurti with puffed sleeves, accessorizing the dress with bangles, bindi and payal. She tinkled and chimed as she moved gracefully. She couldn't speak hindi or marathi hence she asked aunty about the puja in english. Once she understood the ritual, she started helping with the preparation enthusiastically. When dutta came down wearing the off-white, gold embroidered kurta nakkusha had selected for him with a payjama, avanti actually blushed under his gaze. Nakkusha's temper sky-rocketed when avanti decorated the thaal for puja without making a single mistake, garnering praises from aunty. Nakkusha had been doing this since a decade but she always forgot to put something or the other. She would mess up the cutting of fruits or the five small offerings for the forefathers or something. Aunty would be patient and correct her. But today she saw aunty profusely blessing her for doing the same thing, she felt hurt and betrayed by her aunty. Avanti even made the rangoli which had been nakkusha's job. Nakkusha had almost screamed there but Dutta had seen it and said that it was better than any he had seen before. And now this, she was positively seething with hatred. It was novel experience for Nakkusha as there was not a single resentful bone in her body.

Avanti came to pick up two glasses of chilled kuss sherbet that Aunty and mom served to all neighbors while they all gathered for bursting cracker. It was a long standing tradition that every family would provide some munchies on the side table while they burst crackers and played cards. There was gambling with honey soaked peanuts piled as bets by elders. These traditions were started by SriRam uncle and everyone still gathered and celebrated Diwali like that to honor his memory. Uncle had died long ago on this month, but shakuntala aunty refused to mourn him by drenching their home in darkness on diwali. She said he loved celebrations,believed that life should be lived as a long celebration. And everyone who knew him, loved him wanted to remember him that way.

Avanti saw nakkusha tying different crackers together in a bunch. Avanti- What are you doing,Naksh? Nakkusha turned a saccharine smile at her- Nakkusha.NAKKUSHA. Don't call me naksh. Avanti- but i thought DP calls you Naksh. Nakkusha- DP? Well, your DP and my tudu only they can call me naksh. I don't even allow my Dad to call mke that. Avanti nodded- So, what are you doing Nakkusha? Nakkusha- I am making my own brand of crackers. Avati looked at her perplexed. Nakkusha sighed- Me and Tudu, we tie all kinds of loud Crackers together and hang it on that wooden block. When it's lit up the sounds are terrific.

Avanti made a face of distaste- I hate sound making crackers. They harm the environment. Nakkusha- Right. But she continued tying up the crackers. Avanti looked at her- nakkusha, why don't you let me show you how to enjoy the festival without harming the nature. Come lets light some poothiri, i mean sparkles. Nakkusha got up and smiled- are you also going to show me later how to change from a total S*** to savitri? Avanti's mouth opened in a big O as she lost color.

"Nakkusha!" nakkusha turned to the voice. She shivered at the coldness and calmness in it. She knew the more angry and disappointed he got the more cold his voice got and judging by it she knew he was seething. He stood behind avanti his hands clenched. Avanti- I think..she...i don't know what happened? Nakkusha- nothing much but i just saw you one moment with your tongue down some guy's throat, then the next you were doing puja with his mother as her guest. Seemed very...Dutta- shut up, nakkusha. You have gone too far. I thought you have grown up into a sensible person. But you proved that you are still a brat and an offensive, gutter-mouthed one at that. Avanti is our guest, my friend. She is trying to be friends with you and you insult her. I expected something better from you. She met his eyes and saw disappointment in them which made her eyes sting with tears. She looked away. Dutta- appologize. Avanti- No, DP. It's Ok! Dutta stared her down- It's not. Nakkusha! Apologize and say you were wrong and you didn't mean it. Nakkusha looked with fire in her eyes and met his gaze. She worded her apology to Avanti-"Avanti, I am sorry. I was wrong" She looked and met Dutta's gaze- But i meant every word. Dutta frowned at her as nakkusha walked away from them towards her home.

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Present Day

Eternity mall,Variety Square,Nagpur

Dutta watched as she drifted from shop to shop picking out things for Christmas decorations. She was still mad at him for contemplating selling his mother's jewels. He felt like a prize boor. He realized how much ma had meant to her. Ma had loved her dearly. Just like fanny aunty had always been partial to him, pampering him with best chicken, cookies and cakes, always trying to shield him from his own mother's scolding. Ma had always been partial to naksh. She understood nakkusha. After he had left for his graduation in microbiology in Bangalore, the bond between ma and nakkusha had deepened to a different level. He had not been aware how deep it was.

Nakkusha was not looking at him. She would say what she wanted to say to some point above his shoulder, as if she was looking through him. He was getting irritated by it. Dutta- I think let's get something for Uncle and aunty. Maybe a watch set? Nakkusha shrugged and tried moving away towards the Archie's showroom. Dutta held her wrist and dragged her infront of him. Dutta-Naksh, I am sorry. I didn't realize those things matter to you so much. I will not sell them. I can't take them with me. But I know,ma would not have minded you keeping them. Why don't you..Nakkusha- I don't want to keep them,Dutta. That's the whole point,you don't understand. I care for them because she cared for them. She was right ,you know? She used to say that you love her but don't really understand her. You have been too close to your da that after him, you were just drained of that need to be close to your one parent. Dutta looked down- Yeah! I didn't really understand her. But she understood you, didn't she? And apparently you understood her.

She saw the sadness and loss in his stance. The way he looked at his feet not meeting her eyes. The dejected bent of his shoulder. He had left the week after aunty died. The day after, they had their largest and ugliest fight. She had thought to bring him out like last time. But she had not counted on him lashing back at her. The distance that had grown between them as part of growing up had brought the one thing that had been missing between them since childhood- ego. Her ego and his pain. It had torn them apart. The cracks had developed some time ago. But they had festered like damp on walls slowly eating away at her patience and his resolve. The culmination was him leaving her alone. Dutta-you know, she once told me that I had stopped looking at you after growing up. She said I saw you but didn't really see you. I think she was right.

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Nine years ago, 15^th November 2001

Dutta's home.

It had been a long time since Dutta had helped her in the kitchen. Earlier the after dinner cleaning had been the department of men in the house while ma pampered herself with a hot bath and scented night creams. Da said it made her sweet on him. Dutta didn't understand what sweet meant then, he did now and smiled as he remembered his da singing and scrubbing the table and the dishes. Dutta would normally just sit at the counter drying them telling him about school or his friends. After Da, Dutta had taken over the task, but with increase in his pressure for studies ma had told him not to bother. He too, had let it go.

Tonight he felt he needed the innocuous task to occupy him. For the first time since meeting Avanti, her thoughts were not consuming him. He was thinking about Nakkusha. After yesterday night's incidence he had not seen her. He was still angry with her for speaking such filth. The girl he knew was candid, used colorful vocabulary but was never malicious.

"You have to try and understand her, Dutta." Dutta turned to see his ma standing near the fridge putting away the leftovers. Dutta turned back- Who,ma? Shakuntala- don't play dumb. I am talking about nakkusha. Betu, try to understand her. She is not a little girl anymore. She has grown up but it looks like that you have missed it. Dutta- trust me,ma. Even though she still doesn't reach my shoulder, I couldn't have missed that she has grown up. But even if she has grown in age and body, she is still the spoilt brat I know. Ma chuckled. Dutta- the things she said yesterday…Shakuntala-was because she was hurt. Dutta,she has waited for you to come home as much as me. She was probably wanting her friend back but instead she finds that her friend has moved on. She needs time to accept that. Already there are many things thrust upon her suddenly. You going away to college, your interests growing different then hers, now the fact that you may have someone else in your life, who'll mean more to you.

Dutta- ma, why does me having a girlfriend equates to naksh losing her place in my life? Naksh is an integral part of my life. No one can take that. She is my friend. Why can't she see that? She will always be my best friend. But she can't say filth, if she is hurt or upset. That's what tells me that she has not grown up at all.

Shakuntala- Or maybe you have not seen her at all? Dutta looked at her questioningly. She continued- Try seeing her, not just with your eyes. Try seeing and feeling what's going on in her mind. You say that you having a girlfriend doesn't change things between you and nakkusha, but have you proved that to her? You understood her better than anyone else but I think that a chasm has grown between that understanding. Try to understand her all over again. OK? Dutta smiled- Ok. I'll talk to her tomorrow. She nodded and pointed at the kheer she had kept for his midnight snack at the table, turning to go. She stopped at the door.

Shakuntala- Dutta, so am I to have a malyalli bahu? I have to start learning the rudiments of their greeting and stuff after all. How will I talk to her parents otherwise? Dutta groaned- Ma…I have not even proposed her to be my girlfriend yet. And you are already preparing a wedding. I think she could be the one but at least give me time to stand on my feet. Shkuntala looked him up and down and he couldn't help laughing. Dutta- Ma? Shakuntala- alright, alright. I like her. But? Dutta- But? Shakuntala- nothing, really. I want the best for you Dutta. I understood even your father's breathing patterns and he understood my eyes. Even if we didn't get many decades together but the time that we did get, it filled me for my life. I want that for you. Goodnight.

Dutta got up at 5.30am the next morning. Pulling up the zip of his thick jacket, he crossed the fence and walked to her window. Her bed was just under the window and she was sleeping facing him. She looked angelic sleeping, he thought. A naughty idea came to him.

Nakkusha felt being watched in her sleep. She moved a little and frowned. A scratching sound was coming close to her. She squinted and opened her eyes and gasped. A tall silhouette with face hidden in darkness was scratching at the glass with stones in its hands. She got up and pulled back in fear. She was about to scream when the cape was pulled back to reveal a laughing Dutta. She huffed at him-You? Dutta raised his palms up in peace and signaled to open the backdoor. She shook her head and instead opened the window just a crack.

Dutta-chal. Get ready let's go for a walk to diesel engine shed. Nakkusha- I don't want to go. Dutta- hey, come on. I came after six months. Don't I deserve some time with my friend. Please. Nakkusha- take your girlfriend. Dutta- she is having her beauty sleep. And I don't want her, I want my friend. Nakkusha looked at the loving look he gave her and gulped the lump in her throat. Nakkusha glared at him- fine, but you are staying out in the cold while I get changed.

A few minutes later they were walking towards the old engine shed were train engines were repaired and dismantled. They used to walk to this shed with their fathers chatting ahead and them playing behind them as kids. Their fathers would be engrossed in politics,sports, cars. And they would be racing and pushing each other. They kept the habit of morning walk to the shed after sriram's death. Benji would not come as he missed his friend but they would go. The diesel shed was dangerous place for kids to play around with lot of heavy machinery. But they were much loved by the gangmen and mechanics. They let them climb up the engines and pretend being the train drivers.

As the familiar sound of railway labors siren reached their ears, they stood and watched the metal shed as workmen in indigo overalls poured in the shed. Dutta turned to her- Race you and sprinted ahead. Nakkusha started running after him- Cheat. Wait. As they reached the back of the shed where old narrow gauge engine were housed, dutta climbed up the roof of the engine and held out his hand for her. They sat in silence letting the cool breeze waft around them. Nakkusha- I am sorry for my sudden rash of bichitis that day. Dutta smiled. Nakkusha- Do you love her? Dutta- I don't know. I like her. He looked at nakkusha. Dutta- naksh, she is the most amazing person I have met. Most intelligent. You know she is the only one who has defeated me in chess. Nakkusha- you are attracted to her because she is good at chess? Dutta laughed- sounds silly? Nakkusha- Tudu, are you serious about her? Dutta- I can tell you that she is different than others. I care a lot about her and would want it to go somewhere. Nakkusha nodded- I will apologize again to her and try to be friends with her. I don't want to be a problem between you. Dutta hugged her sideways- hey, you are my problem but never a problem between me and anyone else. And you know what? I love this problem of mine. Nakkusha pushed him away- Me a problem? I am an angel. Dutta grinned- Devil's angel!. She mock smacked him almost unbalancing him.

They spent the morning laughing and talking. Reliving the moments of their childhood. Forging a new understanding between them.

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Present day

Eternity mall,Nagpur

He waited for her outside the trial rooms holding the clothes he was supposed to keep passing to her. He looked at the discarded pile. The green was his favorite but unfortunately he had mentioned that when she was still angry with him. The result, the dress had not even stood a trial. It was rejected just like that. Dutta leaned against the trial room door- Naksh, I am sorry. I would not sell them. I promise. I'll do what you want me to do with them. Please. Try to understand my position here. What can I do?

She opened the door with a jerk her dress slipping off her shoulder a little. He grabbed the edge before it slipped further, at the same time she reached for it. He saw the crowd waiting for their turn at the trial room. He slowly drew it up over her shoulder, the rest of the dresses falling out of his hand, unnoticed to the floor. He slowly turned her around as they faced the mirror reflecting them. He slowly moved his hand down her shoulder, grazing his fingers lightly along the length of her bare arm and leaned into her ears. Dutta- Am I forgiven? Nakkusha looked away as his closeness was wreaking havoc to her senses. Dutta husked softly in her ears, his breath tickling her bare neck and blowing the escapee strands of hair-Please! Nakkusha- I forgive you for almost making the mistake. Dutta rested his forehead against her shoulder- Thank you,Baby. He moved slowly and kissed the nape of her neck oblivious to their surroundings. Dutta- would you please reconsider the green dress,please? He met his pleading eyes to hers in the mirror. Nakkusha- I forgive you for today,Dutta. But you are not forgiven for leaving me alone five years ago. For not understanding that I might have needed you, too. She jerked herself out of his arms and picked up the green dress closing the door on his face.

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Nine years ago, 15^th November 2001

Dutta's home.

Avanti enthused to nakkusha- he is taking me to the famous Ganesh Temple here, this evening. We will then go to this place he likes. Nakkusha had come to apologize and make amends to Avanti according to her promise to Dutta. Avanti immediately forgave her and started talking to her like nothing had happened. Nakkusha realized why Dutta liked her. She was a very gentle person, impossible to dislike. She had open nature yet she was sensible and intelligent. She was his match, alright! Nakkusha still felt a tinge of unease but as she talked to her that seemed to be vanishing, too. Avanti- I am excited about the temple. You know,aunty said that whatever you pray for there comes true. Me and DP will pray there together.

Nakkusha shook her head,saying softly- You will pray. He will pretend to pray. Avanti's smile vanished-pretend? Nakkusha- He doesn't pray. He stopped praying to God after his Da died. Avanti- but he always comes to temples with me, joins his hands and..Nakkusha-and pretends. He does the same for aunty and my mom when they force him to come to temples or church. He waits till you are done and eats the Prasad like a sweet. She rolled her eyes at that, smiling at his love for sweets. Avanti looked at her frowning- how do you know? His dad died long ago. He has accepted that. Nakkusha- yes, His Da died long ago and he has accepted that. But he believes that since God couldn't do the one thing he wants Him to do, it doesn't make sense to pray to him. He initially used to refuse going to the temple, too. But that used to upset aunty, so he started going with her to appease her. But he never prays. Just joining hands and bowing is not prayer right. It has to come from within. He refuses that.

Avanti looked at her shocked- how do you know? Nakkusha shrugged- I knew the first time I saw him pretending in front of God. I understood then. Avanti repeated shell shocked- you understood? Yes, you understand. You understand him so well. Nakkusha looked at the expression on her face- well, I have seen him so long. I am sure you'll learn to read him like a book soon. Avanti- How? His mother couldn't do it? Only you.She stopped. Nakkusha- well, we are friends. of course, he shares his thoughts with me. Avanti- I am sure he never shared his thoughts about this with you. Probably, he didn't even need to. You just knew it. Right?

Nakkusha looked away- aaa…he is a complex man. You just need time to understand him. Don't worry. I am here to help you understand him. She smiled at her.

Avanti shook her head and looked sadly at nakkusha, noticing the girl for first time and thinking that she might have misunderstood a lot of things. But the problem was, she felt that even they themselves might not yet see and understand those things. A part of her hoped that they never will, as that would be tragic for her but if they didn't, then? That would be more tragic to them, biggest tragedy. Avanti- that's just it, nakkusha. You see, no girl likes to take help from another girl to understand the man she loves. You never needed help to understand him, did you?

………………….to be continued

Sorry for a too long update…just realized I have written 6pages of MS-Word…OMG…😕

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