The Second Chances upd Epilogue pg63 on 22thFeb - Page 18

Ch8: The New Beginnings

Present day

State Bank of India, Kingsway,Nagpur

Dutta looked at the man sitting in front of him and helplessly looked at the things laid out in front of him. Ever since he had landed in this city yesterday morning a feeling of doom had engulfed him and with every passing hour the feeling had just intensified. He felt like a man trying to swim against current in the ocean ,each stroke to break free of its pull just drew him closer to the vortex. Everything he had done in the past five years to cut himself off from these ties, his every attempt was unraveling in front of him. The same weakness of caring and wanting was engulfing him, suffocating him. He had always known that meeting this woman again would be the penultimate mistake especially in this city, where every turn every nook was just filled with memories of his past, of the Dutta he had tried to smother in the alien cold world 5years ago. He had tried to kill every vestige of that boy long ago. First by breaking everything inside him that made him SriRam patil and shakuntala Patil's son. The darkness he had let crowd him during those initial days of his despair had made him hate every fiber of himself. When that had failed he had turned to the cold desert, the ice and isolation, almost like banishing himself to the world's end. Ironically, Antarctic did feel like the literal World's end.

But today he was again engulfed in the one thing he had tried to run away from- Ties. He looked at the will and land deeds in his hand. His parents had left him as the sole heir of their worldly possessions. When his mother had died he had been unwilling to listen to anyone least of all attorneys. His parents had set up a trust fund long ago while his Da was alive. Maa had just kept adding to it on regular basis since she had taken up job as railway's chief controller after da's death. They had left him a comfortable amount. He had made tenfold more money in his field today as highly paid researcher, he had added to it by careful investment on the pharmaceutical market. He was more than comfortably set in life but he didn't care for the riches as he lived in a place where the condition of your sledge and dogs defined your chances of surviving more than the money sitting at your bank.

He looked at the deeds of land and trust notes. Well, he would hand them over to his attorney to take care off. But the other thing bothered him. How was he supposed to know what he should do with the huge box filled with jewelry, his maa's jewelery. He knew his ma had been fond of buying gold ornaments. Even after Da was gone every dhanteras she would buy something. He had never seen her wear them, he had never wondered why she kept buying them. In fact he had totally forgotten about them. Dutta looked at the manager- What should I do with these? The manager- how would I know, sir? Give them to your wife. She'll be delighted. Dutta- I don't have a wife. Manager- put them in your locker. Would you like to reopen one here? His eyes took on a gleam at the smell of new investment. Dutta- I don't plan to ever come back to this city. But I can't travel with this much gold either. I don't know if that would be allowed. I have a flight tomorrow. Manager lost interest and the gleam- Well, you can always sell them off. Gold prices are skyrocketing. You make a neat profit. Dutta- sell them? Hmm. Yeah, sell them. He was interrupted from saying anything else by a sharp intake of breath from the chair beside him. He looked in that direction and found her eyes over reaming with anger and pain. She had the look of a bruised doe. He felt like he had kicked her but didn't know why. She looked away from him in disgust and clenched her hand. He noticed for the first time that Nakkusha was holding a disfigured, bend silver armlet. The chain was broken and the plate was bent at one end,it had a hindi script engraving on it which she was fingering lovingly- it was his name,DUTTA. She was holding his babyhoods jewelry, armlet, anklets, a kumarband, some silver bangles. His ma had held on to his childhood in those bits of accessories. Dutta whispered- Naksh!

She looked away- She was keeping all these for her daughter-in-law, your wife. And she wanted to remold these for her grandchild. Nakkusha lifted the tiny armlet to him.

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Ten years ago: 25^th December 1999

Nakkusha's Home.

Dutta wanted to be out with his friends but he couldn't make excuses to Ben uncle for missing the Christmas party for the first time. Dutta had joined the Hislop junior college and was enjoying the liberties of college life. He felt bored in these get togethers. The discussions never interested him and there was nothing happening in them. He wanted to be out driving with his gang in Dharampeth roads. He wanted to flirt with girls and party with his boys. His ma and uncle and aunty fanny still thought that he was a kid. They felt that promise of delicious cakes and Christmas treats was enough to keep him interested here. He didn't want to hurt them but wanted to finish his obligations and duck out of the lame party as soon as possible. Nakkusha was nowhere around, he noticed dispassionately. He had been seeing less of her since he joined college. He had been busy with his studies, new friends and acquaintances. Well, she was a kid she would probably not understand. He looked at the small gift wrapped packet he had got as her Christmas gift. Every year he got her Christmas gift and put it in her stocking near the tree. The first time she had found the gift when she was six, she had been mystified. She had said that it was brought by her secret Santa. She was a smart kid who knew that her gifts were brought by her dad and mom. But the appearance of this surprise gift had totally baffled and excited her. With time she had figured out that he had been putting away those gifts and she would start hinting what she wanted to him by saying,'Maybe my secret Santa can bring me this, this Christmas. What do you think Tudu?' This was the first time her secret Santa had no idea what she wanted. So he had played it safe and got her safari knife set. He had one just like this one and she always tried to take his. He walked towards the living room where they kept the tree and gifts. The party was in the garden and the house was empty. He planned to put the gift and get away by making his excuse to uncle. He would say he had a college assignment or something, he thought.

He walked into the living room and stood frozen to his spot. The vision in front of him transfixed him. She was standing on the high stool straightening up the Christmas star on the tree. He had seen the same scene so many times before but he couldn't put a finger on what had changed. He felt hot and restless looking at her. Yet there was a feeling of contentment. His eyes looked at the age old familiar scene but saw different things. She tittered on the stool and stumbled as if she would fall. She cursed colorfully breaking the spell on him. Her candid vocabulary which was his training brought him back to his senses and also brought a smile on his face.

She dusted her hands in 'Mission accomplished' manner and got off the stool. She stumbled down on the ground and held the stool for support. Dutta frowned. Something was wrong. Why was she stumbling like that, as if she was…Bloody hell, she was! Dutta advanced towards her raging inside. Damn it. How could she be drunk? Where did she get the booze? She was barely …what fourteen…yes almost fifteen. She will be fifteen this January. Fifteen? When had she grown up so much? He shook his head fifteen or not that still left her underage for drinking. Hell, he was seventeen and still underage for anything alcoholic other then vinegar! He grabbed her arm and turned her towards him.

She almost tumbled in his arms but regained her balance by holding his shirt. Nakkusha- Who? Tudu…You freaking scared me. She slurred. Dutta- Nakkusha Jose Winget! What the F*** do you think you are doing? Nakkusha's green eyes got huge as she tried to focus on his face. She wrinkled her nose in distaste- Hey,Hey, mister. What are you middle naming me for? Dutta-Shut up. He looked around and saw the window to the garden open and dragged her to a corner of the room. He kept his packet on the side table and faced her. She leaned on the wall looking him up and down. Nakkusha- did I ever tell you that you cleaned up real nice? Dutta frowned- right! So where did you get the wine? Nakkusha- don't be such a bore like dad. He read me the riot act already, OK! Dutta- Benji Uncle saw you. Nakkusha nodded and kept on nodding. She started smiling as head pretty head kept bobbing up and down. She giggled- Dutta, you know if I keep doing it I see you going up and down too. Now if a go like this…She moved her head left right in negation motion and giggled. Nakkusha- Now I see two of you. Kool. Now one of you can go to that wretched college and other can always stay with me. How sexy is that? Dutta- shush, where did you get the booze, naksh? Nakkusha pouted and dutta for the first time noticed that she had a very small mole on the inner side of her lower lip which looked like a ripe strawberry tantalizing him for a taste. He shook his head at the weird thought. She had had the drinks and he was the one getting intoxicated. Dutta- Don't speak like that. You should not say….Nakkusha- The 'S' word or the 'F' word like you did a moment ago! Huh! Hypocrisy in Indian Democracy! Dutta growled and grabbed her arm- look, you are trying my patience. Answer me. Now.

Nakkusha whinced and tried to lossen his hold- I just wanted to try it. Dad got a new bottle as gift from someone. He doesn't drink and neither lets me try. So I thought I'll just have some a sip or so. Dutta raised his eyebrows-Or so? So how much was this 'Or so'? Nakkusha squinted up at him slurred something. Dutta shook her-What?Nakkusha- I liked the taste so I poured a glass or so. Dutta- My God! An entire glass. You had a glass of…Nakkusha blinked- Whiskey..i think! Dutta slapped his forehead. He looked at her- You dared to drink without even asking me about it. I should just spank you for this. How dare you? Nakkusha- well, you weren't around. What could I do? You are so busy and you didn't even come for Christmas mass last night. I wanted to ask you then. Please tudu. Daddy is annoyed with me too. Please don't scold me. I am seeing you after …she stopped, trying to count the days but couldn't hold her concentration long enough. Nakkusha continued- I am seeing you..after…after…a looong time..please don't scold me. I promise, I'll ask permission for even drinking coke from now on. Promise. She leaned near him pinching her fair throat. She looked up at him with huge eyes and Dutta felt like drowning in them. He looked away- this is digusting, naksh. Nakkusha burst into tears- please don't be like this. Daddy has grounded me and is not allowing me in the Christmas party. I don't mind that as you are here with me but please don't be angry with me. See. I got all dressed up to show you. see. Dutta looked at her . She pointed at herself. His eyes roamed dispassionately over her but suddenly her body caught his interest. She was wearing a short emerald green square neck dress. The dress was sleeveless and had a square cut back too. It curved around her young body, highlighting her girl-woman figure and reached her shapely knees flaring around in green froth. The color was a perfect wrap for eyes which looked darker green. She had put something on her lips that made them look invitingly wet and gleamed. Her hair was in disarray but was let lose, falling down her back. She stood bare feet in front of him barely reaching his shoulder. She inclined her head up to look in his eyes. Nakkusha- Dutta, please don't be angry. I won't ever do it. Her eyes filled with tears and he could not take it anymore. Dutta- it's ok. Don't cry. Nakkusha's lips quivered at the distaste on his face- you hate me.I am sorry,please don't hate me. Dutta- naksh, shush. Look at me. Don't cry. She sniffled and cried hard. The tears in her eyes broke his heart. He cupped her face in his palms and placed his forehead on hers. "Naksh, what would I do with you, poppet? You know you'll be my death someday. What should I do,tell me?" Nakkusha-I didn't mean to make you all angry. I just wanted..hicc..she hiccupped and looked up at him. Dutta couldn't help it. Like a puppet on string he leaned down and placed his lips on hers. She froze at the touch of his lips on hers. Dutta pulled away and looked at her astonished. Unable to stop himself, he kissed her again. Cherry ,she tasted like cherries. He pulled back and looked at her apprehensively. She stood with her eyes closed. As she felt the loss of his lips, she leaned into him again, breaking the last vestige of his resolve. They both blindly moved towards each other , their lips meeting together. He felt as if a dam had burst open inside him. He couldn't stop himself from kissing her deeply. Within moments, the kiss turned from soft exploratory to demanding, hungry fusion of desire. He forgot himself in the sensations that washed over his body. He crushed her small plaint body to his, feeling every soft curve on his hard structure. She fit in his arms perfectly. He was so blinded by his need that it took him a few seconds to register that it was no more an equally desired kiss. A few seconds ,to realize that Nakkusha was scarred and was fighting to get away from him. He released his hold on her. She pushed him away and looked at him astonished. She lightly touched her bruised lips. She was drunk, but not that drunk that she would not know what was happening. She knew what he was doing was wrong and for the first time she was scarred of him. He could read the change of emotions on her face like a book. Wonder, pleasure, fright,anger,shame. He read them all and felt them in his blood in equal measure. He would not have stopped with a kiss, he knew it and it killed him to see in her eyes that she knew it too. She looked at him hurt and scared and fled to her room before he could say anything. But he had seen that look and he knew that he would never forget that look of disgust on her face ever. He felt like a lowlife to have abused her innocence. He walked out slowly wishing someone to be there to ground him, too. He needed to be punished for his sins. She would now always remember her first kiss with revulsion, all thanks to him.

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Present day,24^th December 2009

Saoji bhojanalay,zero mile,Nagpur.

Nakkusha- Please don't do it. Please don't sell those jewels. Dutta- what do you suppose I do with them? They had finished their meeting with the bank manager. This was the first thing she had said to him since leaving the bank. They were sitting in saoji bhojanalay and were waiting for their thalli. Nakkusha- anything but don't sell them. She had her dreams tied to each article in there.

Dutta- and those dreams died with her. Look, i have to do something. I can't put them in locker here as I don't want to return. She looked away. Was he doing this intentionally? Continuously reminding her that he was going away. Her resolve of the morning was waning away, due to his cool behavior. How can she make stay if he kept trying to run away? Was she imagining that he felt more than friendship for her? Maybe, she was making another grave mistake.

Their food arrived and they picked at it silently. Each absorbed in their own thoughts. She suddenly bit a chilly and started gasping and coughing. He was immediately beside her rubbing her back, holding a glass. Dutta- koi meetha lao. Jaldi.She drank the water extended to her in one go and gasped at the burn in her mouth. Dutta- Koi hai? meetha lao. His temper was getting out of his hand just then the waiter brought a bowl of gulan-jamun. Dutta took it from him and held a bit of the sweet to her lips. She looked at him with tears running down her eyes. Tears he thought brought on by the sharpness of the chilly but she knew that these tears were of sadness, despair and defeat. Dutta- ye lo. It will soothe your mouth. He touched her lips lightly with the spoon. She looked at the concern in his eyes as she opened her mouth to take in the sweet. And just as the sweet soothed her burn, his concern soothed her fears. He cares. He loves. She resolved again. Dutta got back to his seat after feeding her the sweet. He looked at her somberly- How do you know what those jewels meant to her?

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Nine years ago, 14^th November 2001

Dutta's home.

Nakkusha fixed the heavy gold jhumka on her ears and looked at her image in the mirror. She looked ridiculous she thought. Nakkusha- aunty, why do you keep buying these jewelry? You don't wear them. Nakkusha had come with her mom to check out Shakuntala's latest possession this diwali- the jhumkey. Nakkusha was playing dress up as both the mothers discussed the rise in prices of gold. She had also wrapped shakuntala's wedding saree for the full effect of the beautiful jewels.

Shakuntala aunty approached her and started wrapping the saree around nakkusha properly in navari style – these are not for me but for my dutta's wife. See, these small ornaments were his when he was just a baby.When my dutta has a child, I'll get them fixed and polished and put the child's name on the armlet. Nakkusha- What if dutta brings a non-maharashtrian wife? Shakuntala- no, my dutta won't do that. I hope, he won't. Nakkusha- why? Would it matter if he brought a girl of different caste?

Shakuntala- yes beta. It will. See, I married your uncle against both our families' wishes. We were both from same religion and were Marathi. But he was from some higher caste and that was not acceptable to both our families'. They did accept our wedding after Dutta was born but they could never welcome me due to the society pressure. Even today that time has left a sour taste to my mind.I don'tagree to people sticking to old traditions blindly. I have suffered due to my family's strict adherence to such wrong belief.I would never want that for my son. But a man should do his duty to his roots, too. Every religion and region has its own culture and traditions handed down from father to son, from mother to daughter. That is how we keep them alive by passing them from generation to generation. I would want my son to teach the same values I and his da taught him. All the customs of a Maharashtra, to keep them alive. Mother always has a greater say in child's upbringing, so yes I would want my grandkids to have a mother who can teach them all these. But then, maybe I would have to accept whoever he choose.

Fanny- shakuntala is right. Blindly sticking to the past is stupid. But we need to hand over our beliefs, customs, and traditions to the next generation. I don't mind if you married inter-caste tomorrow. But try not to forget the roots. Shakuntala beamed at her after finishing draping the saree- Tu khub god distey. Nakkusha wrinkled her nose as she knew aunty only lapsed into Marathi when she was too, happy or excited.Well, they all were excited today as dutta was coming from Bangalore for his diwali vacation from his college. Shakuntala laughed- you are looking very pretty beta. Nakkusha smiled and was about to say something when a voice interrupted from behind.

"My God! Naksh are you dressing up for some cheap fancy dress party? You look ridiculous."

Nakkusha turned to see Dutta lounging at the door laughing at her. Nakkusha- think of the devil. And for your information I was just trying out aunty's collection of jewels. That's all.

Dutta- whatever! Maa. He walked towards his mother smiling.Shakuntala- dutta what is this, beta? You said you'll be here on dhanteras but you came on diwali. What took you so long, your vacation started last week, right? Dutta came and hugged his mother. Dutta- maa, sorry. Yes I was supposed to be here last week but I had to change my plans. Avanti wanted to visit her folks before coming to met you. So I went with her to Kochi first from Bangalore.

Shakuntala- Avanti? Dutta- yeah. He turned to the door . 'Ma, I want you to met my Friend, Avanti Pushkaran.'

Nakkusha looked at the door and froze.

…..to be continued.

oh so their first kiss was at xmas time wen naku was drunk...😲 cnt believe she was drunk... bt it was kind cute hw she was tilting her head n sayin she can see 2 dutta's lol😆

Yaaay!! u updated... Awesome! (: