Ch9: Understanding - totally apt for this part😃
She hated the girl with gusto even with being introduced to her just three hours ago. Nakkusha looked at them together Dutta was helping her with lighting a flowerpot. Nakkusha felt like puking with disgust. Even a child could do it, but the way dutta was finding excuses to paw the girl, you would think she was lighting up a plastic explosive or something. If it was her simpering like that dutta would have bashed her for being a chicken and it would not have been the first time either. He had always said that he hated female wiles and squeamish behavior. It looked like that Avanti was an exception.
OMG.. just what i was expecting naksh to be like.. hating her even before she gets to know her.. now she hates this new person who is encroaching on what has always only been her property i.e., Dutta!and D has always treated her like his equal, never had to impress upon Naksh and so could always tell her off and boss her around.. whereas with avanti, it is initial days and he seems to think he has feelings for her.. he is new to this part of the country, does not know anyone there, so he is being nice.. so will not tell him off now😆
Nakkusha had been struck when she had turned around and seen Avanti. More due to her classically beautiful features. She looked like a elegant heiress, 'lady diana' kind of woman. She was dressed in frayed denims and pink shirt and in spite of the manly attire she oozed femininity. She had greeted aunty and her mom with comfort of age old acquaintance. When she had greeted nakkusha, nakkusha was hard pressed to find a fault with her friendly tone. Nakkusha might have liked her; she might have also adored her and asked for tips for dressing up and other things. Only if she had not seen what she had within fifteen minutes of being introduced to Avanti.
i am so happy to read Avanti is a beautiful girl, with good values and behaviour.. i was a bit apprehensive at the end of the last part, but i should not have worried knowing you are the one writing this FF Shilpi.. and i sort of like, in fact I do like Avanti here. she is a great girl by the sound of things, but just not for Dutta.. but just for that one reason, you cant hate her na.. she knows nothing of D-N dynamics when D himself has not realised, you cannot blame Avanti now, can we.. And i loved the part that even in frayed denims, she oozed feminity.. now that does remind me of someone or popel saying the same about a certain someone😉😆 see, this avanti is prolly one who can never look tomboyish even if she made an effort to look like one!!😛
Aunty had asked Dutta to take her up to the guest room, so that she could freshen up for the evening lakshmi-pujan. Dutta had picked up her bag and lead her away playfully tugging nakkusha's long ponytail.
Lo..there you go.. that one action shows D's state of heart for Naksh.. she is still a kid for him..ok he knows she has grown uo and all, but for him she is tstill the neighbour's kid and his pesky lil friend.. i love these lil touches u add to the story and in this case pulling the ponytail.. totally gives away D's thoughts on Naksh😆
Aunty had then asked nakkusha to take the fresh towels and soap bar to guest bathroom for avanti. Nakkusha was about to knock on the door when she heard a masculine groan of pain. She had not been able to resist peeping in. She saw them reflected in the full-length mirror facing her. He was holding her to him like a drowning man holds a piece of floating wood. They were enclosed in deep embrace that excluded all. Watching them like that suddenly brought to her mind the incidences of long away christmas and the movie hall, incidences that she had locked away in far recesses of her mind,like a bad dream. With it came a pain which sheered her insides, bile rose to her throat. She swiftly moved away leaving the things in her hands on the side table beside the door. They hadn't even heard her leave as she could still hear the moans as she resided.
i feel sad even reading this..how sad must naksh be feeling.. totally heart broken.. when she sees her friend D like that with this girl .. OMG.. she has even pushed those kisses to the back of her mind, but now seeing Dutta sharing what he had shared with her on 2 occasions must be the breaking point for her.. as far as she thought, that was something she and Dutta had shared.. something beautiful, though she felt guilty after that.. she still cherished it.. but now seeing HER tudu do the same with someone as if what he shared with her was just meaningless😭😭
but Dutta had seen it and said that it was better than any he had seen before. And now this, she was positively seething with hatred. It was novel experience for Nakkusha as there was not a single resentful bone in her body.
OMG.. everything has reached a breaking point for naksh here na..poor lil deareven aunty praising her too.. and dutta always being nice to her when he can be mean to her and not this new avanti.. my heart felt tight reading how lil naksh felt in all these 10 years everytime she decorated the puja thaali, there was something or the otehr missing and this avanti got it right the firtst tim!😡 poor naksh..she must be feeling so lost and lonely all of a sudden.. there is this new girl in an alien territory winning everone over and she is in her own territory and feeling so lost😭
Avanti came to pick up two glasses of chilled kuss sherbet i love khus sherrbet, esp the ones fromkolkata and that Aunty and mom served to all neighbors while they all gathered for bursting cracker.
tlove;y to read that the traditions are still being followed even after uncle died.. speaks a lot for shakuntala aunty who lives her life as her hubby would have wanted her to👏. Avanti- What are you doing,Naksh? Nakkusha turned a saccharine smile at her- Nakkusha.NAKKUSHA. Don't call me naksh. Avanti- but i thought DP calls you Naksh. Nakkusha- DP? Well, your DP and my tudu only they can call me naksh. I don't even allow my Dad to call mke that. wooohooo what an asnwer..she is a spit fire, this one! Avanti nodded- So, what are you doing Nakkusha? Nakkusha- I am making my own brand of crackers. Avati looked at her perplexed. Nakkusha sighed- Me and Tudu, we tie all kinds of loud Crackers together and hang it on that wooden block. When it's lit up the sounds are terrific.
Avanti made a face of distaste- I hate sound making crackers. They harm the environment. Nakkusha- Right. But she continued tying up the crackers. Avanti looked at her- nakkusha, why don't you let me show you how to enjoy the festival without harming the nature. Come lets light some poothiri,(bang on.. internet research huh, but nice touch.. i still lapse into mallu with my hubby when i am half asleep!..)l i mean sparkles. Nakkusha got up and smiled- are you also going to show me later how to change from a total S*** to savitri? Avanti's mouth opened in a big O as she lost color.
"Nakkusha!" nakkusha turned to the voice. She shivered at the coldness and calmness in it. She knew the more angry and disappointed he got the more cold his voice got and judging by it she knew he was seething. He stood behind avanti his hands clenched. Avanti- I think..she...i don't know what happened? Nakkusha- nothing much but i just saw you one moment with your tongue down some guy's throat, then the next you were doing puja with his mother as her guest. Seemed very...Dutta- shut up, nakkusha. You have gone too far. I thought you have grown up into a sensible person. But you proved that you are still a brat and an offensive, gutter-mouthed one at that. Avanti is our guest, my friend. She is trying to be friends with you and you insult her. I expected something better from you. She met his eyes and saw disappointment in them which made her eyes sting with tears. She looked away. Dutta- appologize. Avanti- No, DP. It's Ok! Dutta stared her down- It's not. Nakkusha! Apologize and say you were wrong and you didn't mean it. Nakkusha looked with fire in her eyes and met his gaze. She worded her apology to Avanti-"Avanti, I am sorry. I was wrong" She looked and met Dutta's gaze- But i meant every word. 😛😃Dutta frowned at her as nakkusha walked away from them towards her home.
😭😭😭😭- for both dutta and nakku.. Dutta feels as if he has been let down by his friend.. a friend whom he considers to be a cut above the rest.. and naksh feels she has let down dutta but feels no wrong in saying those as she feels she is right.. they are both right and wrong..
******************************************************************************************
Present Day
Eternity mall,Variety Square,Nagpur
Dutta watched as she drifted from shop to shop picking out things for Christmas decorations. She was still mad at him for contemplating selling his mother's jewels. He felt like a prize boor. He realized how much ma had meant to her. Ma had loved her dearly. Just like fanny aunty had always been partial to him, pampering him with best chicken, cookies and cakes, always trying to shield him from his own mother's scolding. Ma had always been partial to naksh. She understood nakkusha. After he had left for his graduation in microbiology in Bangalore, the bond between ma and nakkusha had deepened to a different level. He had not been aware how deep it was.
i have always felt after D left fr further studies shakuntala-naksh bond will get to anotehr level and am so glad it did.. just that he was unaware of the same as he had been of seberal other things!
Nakkusha was not looking at him. She would say what she wanted to say to some point above his shoulder, as if she was looking through him. He was getting irritated by it. well done naksh.. keep ignoring him.. see, i was in two minds here.. wondering she has so lil time and she is wasting time ignoring him.. but sometimes, men need to be shown their place.. and she is in a turmoil as she does not want him to leave plus upar se he talks nonsense about selling khandaan jewels😡Dutta- I think let's get something for Uncle and aunty. Maybe a watch set? Nakkusha shrugged and tried moving away towards the Archie's showroom. Dutta held her wrist and dragged her infront of him. Dutta-Naksh, I am sorry. I didn't realize those things matter to you so much. I will not sell them. I can't take them with me. But I know,ma would not have minded you keeping them. Why don't you..Nakkusha- I don't want to keep them,Dutta. That's the whole point,you don't understand. I care for them because she cared for them. She was right ,you know? She used to say that you love her but don't really understand her. You have been too close to your da that after him, you were just drained of that need to be close to your one parent. Dutta looked down- Yeah! I didn't really understand her. But she understood you, didn't she? And apparently you understood her.
o man this is so sad.. he feels so left out now.. but she is totally right.. sometimes it is good to tell him a few home truths..i am glad he is thinking of what his mum said.. but then even now he is making the same mistake na.. he is seeing her love, but is making such an effort in not understanding it/ wheras his mum knew the silent bond that existed between the two friends and after her son left, she showered her love on naksh and shared all those unspoken words to naksh which should have been shared with Dutta na
She saw the sadness and loss in his stance. The way he looked at his feet not meeting her eyes. The dejected bent of his shoulder. He had left the week after aunty died. The day after, they had their largest and ugliest fight. She had thought to bring him out like last time. But she had not counted on him lashing back at her. The distance that had grown between them as part of growing up had brought the one thing that had been missing between them since childhood- ego. Her ego and his pain. It had torn them apart. The cracks had developed some time ago. But they had festered like damp on walls slowly eating away at her patience and his resolve. The culmination was him leaving her alone. Dutta-you know, she once told me that I had stopped looking at you after growing up. She said I saw you but didn't really see you. I think she was right.
i love the way u connect the past and present.. amazing shilpi👏👏👏👏.. oh man, seeing naksh's reaction to avanti i can make out how will be egoistic and he will be in pain.. when u say that she thought to bring him out like last time, i think u meant creeping into his room to comfort him just like she did after Da's death na.. by then he knows how muc he loves her, but cant have her and this is the pain u r talking of na.. and not knowing this lil madam's ego comes in her way..too much shilpi.. cnt bear how they will split.. it is like watching one of my most fav movies this FF is!
******************************************************************************************
Nine years ago, 15th November 2001
Dutta's home.
It had been a long time since Dutta had helped her in the kitchen. Earlier the after dinner cleaning had been the department of men in the house while ma pampered herself with a hot bath and scented night creams. Da said it made her sweet on him. Dutta didn't understand what sweet meant then, he did now and smiled as he remembered his da singing and scrubbing the table and the dishes. Dutta would normally just sit at the counter drying them telling him about school or his friends. After Da, Dutta had taken over the task, but with increase in his pressure for studies ma had told him not to bother. He too, had let it go.
please can u let Da come here to teach these things to my hubby, esp the washing up bit while i can have a soak in the tub😆😆😆
Tonight he felt he needed the innocuous task to occupy him. For the first time since meeting Avanti, her thoughts were not consuming him. He was thinking about Nakkusha. After yesterday night's incidence he had not seen her. He was still angry with her for speaking such filth. The girl he knew was candid, used colorful vocabulary but was never malicious.
"You have to try and understand her, Dutta." Dutta turned to see his ma standing near the fridge putting away the leftovers. Dutta turned back- Who,ma? Shakuntala- don't play dumb. I am talking about nakkusha. Betu, try to understand her. She is not a little girl anymore. She has grown up but it looks like that you have missed it. Dutta- trust me,ma. Even though she still doesn't reach my shoulder, I couldn't have missed that she has grown up. But even if she has grown in age and body, she is still the spoilt brat I know. Ma chuckled. Dutta- the things she said yesterday'Shakuntala-was because she was hurt. Dutta,she has waited for you to come home as much as me. She was probably wanting her friend back but instead she finds that her friend has moved on. She needs time to accept that. Already there are many things thrust upon her suddenly. You going away to college, your interests growing different then hers, now the fact that you may have someone else in your life, who'll mean more to you.
Dutta- ma, why does me having a girlfriend equates to naksh losing her place in my life? Naksh is an integral part of my life. No one can take that. She is my friend. Why can't she see that? She will always be my best friend. But she can't say filth, if she is hurt or upset. That's what tells me that she has not grown up at all.
Shakuntala- Or maybe you have not seen her at all? Dutta looked at her questioningly. She continued- Try seeing her, not just with your eyes. Try seeing and feeling what's going on in her mind. You say that you having a girlfriend doesn't change things between you and nakkusha, but have you proved that to her? You understood her better than anyone else but I think that a chasm has grown between that understanding. Try to understand her all over again. OK? Dutta smiled- Ok. I'll talk to her tomorrow. She nodded and pointed at the kheer she had kept for his midnight snack at the table, turning to go. She stopped at the door.
Lovely mum-son convo.. how much this mum understands her son and also naksh.. she understands naksh's pains and tears more than probably her own mujm na.,
I want the best for you Dutta. I understood even your father's breathing patterns and he understood my eyes. Even if we didn't get many decades together but the time that we did get, it filled me for my life. I want that for you. Goodnight.
Ho.. my heart is bhaari now.. oh, she knows and can see what her son will get in life if he was with naksh.. but she cant say that to Dutta, so keeps mum instead😭😭
Dutta got up at 5.30am the next morning. Pulling up the zip of his thick jacket, he crossed the fence and walked to her window. Her bed was just under the window and she was sleeping facing him. She looked angelic sleeping, he thought. A naughty idea came to him.
Nakkusha felt being watched in her sleep. She moved a little and frowned. A scratching sound was coming close to her. She squinted and opened her eyes and gasped. A tall silhouette with face hidden in darkness was scratching at the glass with stones in its hands. She got up and pulled back in fear. She was about to scream when the cape was pulled back to reveal a laughing Dutta. She huffed at him-You? Dutta raised his palms up in peace and signaled to open the backdoor. She shook her head and instead opened the window just a crack.
Dutta-chal. Get ready let's go for a walk to diesel engine shed. Nakkusha- I don't want to go. Dutta- hey, come on. I came after six months. Don't I deserve some time with my friend. Please. Nakkusha- take your girlfriend. Dutta- she is having her beauty sleep. And I don't want her, I want my friend. Nakkusha looked at the loving look he gave her and gulped the lump in her throat. Nakkusha glared at him- fine, but you are staying out in the cold while I get changed.
OMG.. this one thing proves her old friend is back na.. oh he i s trying to make her happy here.. bles him..this is not fair shilpi.. i had a lump in my thorat reading the lines in bold.. these are the lines i loved the most in this part.. exceptional..i am such a sucker for romance.. and this just is too mushy for me..😳
AThey spent the morning laughing and talking. Reliving the moments of their childhood. Forging a new understanding between them.
loved this bit too..beautifully he has taken her back into the past.. where it is just them again.. no one else between them! and i loved the image of the 2 kids pushing and kicking each otehr skipping behind their dads.. beautiful
Present day
Eternity mall,Nagpur
He waited for her outside the trial rooms holding the clothes he was supposed to keep passing to her. He looked at the discarded pile. The green was his favorite but unfortunately he had mentioned that when she was still angry with him. The result, the dress had not even stood a trial. It was rejected just like that. Dutta leaned against the trial room door- Naksh, I am sorry. I would not sell them. I promise. I'll do what you want me to do with them. Please. Try to understand my position here. What can I do?
oh poor thing.. he is already tired of fighting with her.. he cant stand the fact that she is mad at him.. good going naksh.. and i do so HOPE that he gives up like this in the end as well when she will cry when it will be time for him to leave😳
She opened the door with a jerk her dress slipping off her shoulder a little. He grabbed the edge before it slipped further, at the same time she reached for it. He saw the crowd waiting for their turn at the trial room. He slowly drew it up over her shoulder, the rest of the dresses falling out of his hand, unnoticed to the floor. He slowly turned her around as they faced the mirror reflecting them. He slowly moved his hand down her shoulder, grazing his fingers lightly along the length of her bare arm and leaned into her ears. Dutta- Am I forgiven? Nakkusha looked away as his closeness was wreaking havoc to her senses. Dutta husked softly in her ears, his breath tickling her bare neck and blowing the escapee strands of hair-Please! Nakkusha- I forgive you for almost making the mistake. Dutta rested his forehead against her shoulder- Thank you,Baby. He moved slowly and kissed the nape of her neck oblivious to their surroundings. Dutta- would you please reconsider the green dress,please? He met his pleading eyes to hers in the mirror. Nakkusha- I forgive you for today,Dutta. But you are not forgiven for leaving me alone five years ago. For not understanding that I might have needed you, too. She jerked herself out of his arms and picked up the green dress closing the door on his face.
sigh.. itna romantic way se kahega toh kyun nahi karegi.. but what is he trying to do here?! one hand he wnts to stay away and on the otehr, he is torturing her like this.. and he even kisses the nape of her neck.. arre, even forgetting surroundings😲😆.. i just hope he be like this now as poor naksh has had a lifetime of sadness after he left.. Shilpi.. awesome rmance, though a bit short dear.. need a bit more in the present day to give me himmath to read the past parts😳😆😆
******************************************************************************************
Nine years ago, 15th November 2001
Dutta's home.
Avanti enthused to nakkusha- he is taking me to the famous Ganesh Temple here, this evening. We will then go to this place he likes. Nakkusha had come to apologize and make amends to Avanti according to her promise to Dutta. Avanti immediately forgave her and started talking to her like nothing had happened. Nakkusha realized why Dutta liked her. She was a very gentle person, impossible to dislike. She had open nature yet she was sensible and intelligent. She was his match, alright! Nakkusha still felt a tinge of unease but as she talked to her that seemed to be vanishing, too. Avanti- I am excited about the temple. You know,aunty said that whatever you pray for there comes true. Me and DP will pray there together.
Nakkusha shook her head,saying softly- You will pray. He will pretend to pray. Avanti's smile vanished-pretend? Nakkusha- He doesn't pray. He stopped praying to God after his Da died. Avanti- but he always comes to temples with me, joins his hands and..Nakkusha-and pretends. He does the same for aunty and my mom when they force him to come to temples or church. He waits till you are done and eats the Prasad like a sweet. She rolled her eyes at that, smiling at his love for sweets. Avanti looked at her frowning- how do you know? His dad died long ago. He has accepted that. Nakkusha- yes, His Da died long ago and he has accepted that. But he believes that since God couldn't do the one thing he wants Him to do, it doesn't make sense to pray to him. He initially used to refuse going to the temple, too. But that used to upset aunty, so he started going with her to appease her. But he never prays. Just joining hands and bowing is not prayer right. It has to come from within. He refuses that.
Avanti looked at her shocked- how do you know? Nakkusha shrugged- I knew the first time I saw him pretending in front of God. I understood then. Avanti repeated shell shocked- you understood? Yes, you understand. You understand him so well. Nakkusha looked at the expression on her face- well, I have seen him so long. I am sure you'll learn to read him like a book soon. Avanti- How? His mother couldn't do it? Only you.She stopped. Nakkusha- well, we are friends. of course, he shares his thoughts with me. Avanti- I am sure he never shared his thoughts about this with you. Probably, he didn't even need to. You just knew it. Right?
Nakkusha looked away- aaa'he is a complex man. You just need time to understand him. Don't worry. I am here to help you understand him. She smiled at her.
Avanti shook her head and looked sadly at nakkusha, noticing the girl for first time and thinking that she might have misunderstood a lot of things. But the problem was, she felt that even they themselves might not yet see and understand those things. A part of her hoped that they never will, as that would be tragic for her but if they didn't, then? That would be more tragic to them, biggest tragedy. Avanti- that's just it, nakkusha. You see, no girl likes to take help from another girl to understand the man she loves. You never needed help to understand him, did you?
i love avanti.. she does not have a bad bone in her body so far.. an elegant sweet girl.. so no reason to hate her.. adds more to the story and for dutta's character as he will eventually say No to a very good girl and come back to Naksh.. naksh is just having a casual convo with her.. just telling her something which she thinks is natural.. dunno how to explain myself here shilpi.. she doiesnt think it is anything wonderful/inhuman that she knows dutta inside out.. she has taken for granted the fact that she knows D more than himself.. she doesnt credit herself much either for that.. But avanti knows .. and now she has realise how these two love each otehr, but may never realise.. vey intyeresting.. will she play cupid which would mean she has a very large heart too or wait for D to realise it by himself?! and the last line says it all, doesnt it? if u put those 2 lines togetehr...it says.. u dont need help to understand him as you love him..👏👏👏 but you have split it beautifully into those 2 lines in bold whereby in a casual convo, naksh can never get the true meaning of it na?!! very clever avanti or should i say shilpi!! 👏👏👏 it was a delight to read it.. loving it to bits.. sorry took long to post commentsEdited by prettywoman - 14 years ago
