Dutta Reverting Back--Changing for Yourself - Page 4

Originally posted by: sikkaisha

Very nice post.Parul,I simply love your thoughts.They are refreshingly different and thought provoking.
Loved all responses too.Agree with all that no one can actually change any one.You can just show direction and path,provide stimulus and conducive positive environment for change but change has to occur at an internal level in a person and that is the only change that is sustained and permanent.What Nakku did was saw beyond Dutta's superficial persona,probed deeper ,recognized his hidden good side and accepted him as he was..And acceptance is truly a beautiful thing.When a person is accepted for being who he is,a deep calm settles within;It opens the path for self -love and true peace within oneself.
Before meeting Nakku ,Dutta was scared to be vulnerable,emotional and prone to hurt again,so he convinced himself that he does not need love,there is no one in world who would return his trust and love he is unworthy of deserving love but his soul and heart craved for love ( the most basic and important of human needs).This conflict made him deeply unhappy and pushed his life in darkness.
With Nakku's unconditional love,trust,acceptance of him as he was,that conflict was gone...he had got what he most craved for,his love starved soul was satisfied ,hence he felt light,happiness,joy in life.With this "betrayal",the conflict has returned and is pulling him to dark hole again.
He is now hurt as a light of hope shown to him after long dark night has been snatched away from him yet again.
Nakku never changed him as a person,she just accepted him as he was and made him love himself again.
Now Its Dutta's turn to accept himself.and love himself ,because it is when you love yourself ,can you love someone else.

Beautiful isha....Absolutely loved reading it !! 👏 😳 chicken soup for dutta's soul !! 😉 😆 😊

Wow ,what an amazing reply👏.He can take any amount of physical pain but he is so scared of that overwhelming emotional pain.But that long lasting transformation is yet to come.......loved the line that he will have to touch his wounds to heal them...and permanently.Loved your reply dear ⭐️

Originally posted by: Sweet_berries

Very well said DD....brilliant analysis 👏

This also goes so well with Dutta. Its like he is pleading the life to make his moments lively...he has accepted the gift of life - his share of sorrows. Now its the "Life's" turn to fill him with happiness!!

i lo0ve that sadma song.. OMG, it is too emotional for me esp after watching tonight's episode.. my heart is just crying and crying

Originally posted by: sikkaisha

Very nice post.Parul,I simply love your thoughts.They are refreshingly different and thought provoking.
Loved all responses too.Agree with all that no one can actually change any one.You can just show direction and path,provide stimulus and conducive positive environment for change but change has to occur at an internal level in a person and that is the only change that is sustained and permanent.What Nakku did was saw beyond Dutta's superficial persona,probed deeper ,recognized his hidden good side and accepted him as he was..And acceptance is truly a beautiful thing.When a person is accepted for being who he is,a deep calm settles within;It opens the path for self -love and true peace within oneself.
Before meeting Nakku ,Dutta was scared to be vulnerable,emotional and prone to hurt again,so he convinced himself that he does not need love,there is no one in world who would return his trust and love he is unworthy of deserving love but his soul and heart craved for love ( the most basic and important of human needs).This conflict made him deeply unhappy and pushed his life in darkness.
With Nakku's unconditional love,trust,acceptance of him as he was,that conflict was gone...he had got what he most craved for,his love starved soul was satisfied ,hence he felt light,happiness,joy in life.With this "betrayal",the conflict has returned and is pulling him to dark hole again.
He is now hurt as a light of hope shown to him after long dark night has been snatched away from him yet again.
Nakku never changed him as a person,she just accepted him as he was and made him love himself again.
Now Its Dutta's turn to accept himself.and love himself ,because it is when you love yourself ,can you love someone else.

@SB and DD
Seriously kya song yaad dilaya hai...I love this song.When I am upset I sing this song ,it calms me.......soulful lyrics.It also reminds me of my fav quote" smile at life and your life will smile back at you"
Dutta has made an attempt to smile at life and life has smiled back by giving him Nakku and sending angels like Jagtap,Subbu as catalyst.
It is upto Dutta to change his attitute to realize the worth of this priceless love.
You are right Niki,I love these discussions and every response adds to something you could not have thought by yourself.And we can keep on writing a thesis on love and never finsh😉

@Niki: Yes ,exactly,he did said this line.I had forgotten about this Tasha's conversation.I love topics by Parul..Make you think really hard.

Originally posted by: gp00

Hi all,

I promise this topic will not be as big a doozy as the last one.😉 Infinitely less controversial, yet something I'm curious to get your thoughts on.

So it seems Dutta is reverting back to his fall-back/basic instincts, with the "betrayal" by Naku, AS, Baji, the people he most trusted in the world. He's likely very disgusted with them, the world in general, his fate, and God.

We talked a long time ago about the nature of Dutta's change. How Naku was changing him (as even Dutta admits ) from animal to insaan with her nurturing, patience, and love.

It is true that Naku inspired him, gave him hope of being someone else, someone better. He was a deeply unhappy and torn man, and he was too scared to open the door to the very thing that could help him (love, giving a woman a chance with his heart), but unfortunately, hurt him too.

It is equally true that people and situations bring out changes in us, by inspiring us or by showing us a side to things we never knew, or by dragging us along whether we want to or not.

I've always felt Dutta's "reform" was precarious (there was even a post a long time ago about changing for yourself vs. others), and so, like many of you, I'm not surprised to hear about what happened today (precap). It seems his actions against this Don (whether precipitated or not by the Don's own words) is as much a manifestation of his need to show Naku, AS, Baji, everyone "look at what you've done" as it is of his rage at everyone and everything that has hurt him again. He wants to hurt everyone, and in so doing, hurt the people that hurt him...show them that he does not need them and how their betrayal wounded him so deeply. You think that is a fair assessment?

Getting back to the" precarious" reform I mentioned above, I always felt Dutta hung his hat, pinned all his hopes on Naku. That SHE ALONE can make him insaan, give him the chance at happiness. That HE WAS GOOD BECAUSE OF HER. It's basic human nature to do so, and I can't and won't criticize it as a result. But I always felt he forgot that he was turning good because HE HIMSELF had it in him -- the desire, the willpower -- to become that better person. Naku had shown him what things would look like and how much better life would be by being less angry and vengeful. Yet, it hinged all on Naku...and I think that is where you get the EXTREME NATURE of his resurfacing anger. Look, of course, he is angry...who wouldn't be? Particularly with his history. But I wonder: if he was more focused on himself, recognizing himself as a person who is good (versus is good by association), believing it was right to be that kind of person, and doing it for himself, if perhaps his reaction would not have been so severe? That he could have been more understanding of the "betrayal".

Any thoughts on this?

you know parul, I have wanted to post on this for a long time but just could not get the right words and right frame of mind....and now that i read your post, am glad that i did not because you have put it far more accurately than i could have👏
Now my thought...dont know if i would make sense or would invite the wrath of all the IFians😉....but even while good TASHA moments were being shown, I had always felt that although Dutta had this 'me' thing in his mind. although he gave every kind of credit of nakku.... it was me me me all the time.... you know the scene at the bar....when he was asking nakku that wont she stop him from drinking??? when he wanted to see himself in her eyes ... the scene that made us all swoon😳...in that scene also when nakku says something about what more could she ask...he says that you dont need to ask because you are always right....it was this that bugged me a lot... he was as if putting her on such a pedestal that she became an idol for him....and she was not supposed to budge from that stance ....and always be there for him....it was more like a safe bet that he had made....and felt that it was love....even when he went down on his knees on his SR....and he said that he is giving himself to her....it did not have a surrendering feeling....when he said that she can tell him anything ....it was more of hear me out ....i am pouring myself out....he was not ready to listen....he was just in dutta wants to confess mood...it is dutta's sorrow and nakku has to bring him out of that...she is his anchor and she has to remain that ways....
personally i think...when people are in love it is both ways....agreed there is one who is always strong and the other weak....but then everybody has flaws....Dutta is not able to see that....he lives in a world which has no touch with reality....he thinks he can judge people...which is a joke by itself...he thinks that everybody is dhokebaaz because they hide something from him....but on the contrary he forgets to count his blessings.....he has been raised by a woman who could have hated him all his life and he could have been sold off ....he has a friend who in spite of inhumane treatment remains loyal to him...he has a woman who would not leave him in his worst days...but he cannot see those things because he cannot see beyond himself.....
he has to realize this that whatever happens in your life... good or bad...is not necessarily because of others....ultimately it is you who are responsible for the happenings in your life... you cannot go on blaming others... you should take responsibility of your own life....
still have much more in mind...will add later on and hope i made some sense😊

____________

Srushti

Originally posted by: sikkaisha

I was always weary of the notion that D always has to be guided taking his hands by someone or the other. I feel at heart he is still that terrified 3 year old Damodar Patil left behind to the mercy of this heartless world. He never really got over that trauma, those wounds still fester under the armour of anger & aggression he has worn. He never let his wounds heal.Because to heal would mean to touch them.The pain was so overwhelming he was always scared to do that. Then Nakusha came bringing a bit of relief from that pain but unfortunately temporary relief was followed by even bigger pains.And life still continues to deliver blows after blows. But this time he must stand up on his own.He has to overcome that fear of getting hurt.Because his history shows that this playing safe has brought him nothing but more ache.When he dusts himself & stands up again all on his own that will be THE TRANSFORMATION. There will be no falling back to old ways ever in his life again.

Loved your choice of song for D. Was amusing myself over his old hot look but this song brought me back to reality that D has fallen in terrible despair.YET AGAIN.😭😭😭

Wow ,what an amazing reply👏.He can take any amount of physical pain but he is so scared of that overwhelming emotional pain.But that long lasting transformation is yet to come.......loved the line that he will have to touch his wounds to heal them...and permanently.Loved your reply dear ⭐️

Originally posted by: Dancingdoll

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@Zuby:

the Kill bill types Huh? 🤣😆😆....and I am 100 times better than those BGs....You see, I am immune to chloroform....🤣😆😆

and on your first love, Probably you should take a trip to Mumbai....what say? 🤣🤣

btw, Yet again, I agree with you....Poor guy...First time, he was in love in its true sense and he's already in depression!!

Love U,D.....