Dutta Reverting Back--Changing for Yourself - Page 3

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@Saaki:

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Very well said DD....brilliant analysis 👏

Originally posted by: Dancingdoll

Totally and completely agree with you Parul! You have summed Dutta's reactions well!

I havent seen todays episode and hence I am clueless about the new DON in town but generally speaking here -

Initially when Naku entered his life, Dutta wasnt in any mood to transform. He was in pain and at times we dont realize but we get habituated and comfortable to live in that condition. We dont want a change, atleast not initiate it on our own and how could Dutta initiate a change on his own? He has to have a reason to change, there had to be a trigger or a kick! Naku was that trigger or kick and she showed him the "reason" to be "Sups". This was the motivation factor for him to start tranforming. But after Sups fiasco, he was pushed much more deeper in the pit than he was before. The old and the new bruises merged, creating a fatal wound and Naku took the fall...For few days Naku's patience and tolerance hit the deaf ears but gradually they started absorbing Naku's words and actions....and the result was a drastic 180 degree transformation,....Dutta started liking the new alien feeling, He found the air fresh and scented...He was enjoying the new world and he agreed that he was in love with Naku....He created a notion in his mind and credited her for this drastic change.

Naku rescued him from a morass in which he was sinking deeper and deeper and with this notion in mind, he became unconsciously dependent on her support.👍🏼

He has numerous times gone to her invariably (whether in Friendship phase or when in love) even at the slightest of uneasiness!

My dad always sings this song - Famous Rajesh Khanna song -

Chingaaree koee bhadke, to saawan use bujhaaye
Saawan jo agan lagaaye, use kaun bujhaaye?

(When the sparks of fire aggravate, the rain pacifies them, but if the rain speads the fire, then who would pacify the fire now?)

Mazdhaar mein naiyaa dole, to Maanjhee paar lagaaye
Maanjhee jo naaw dooboye use kaun bachaaye?

(When the boat is about to sink in the water, the helmsman saves it, but if the helmsman is hell bent on drowning the boat, then who can save the boat?)

Here, Naku was the "saawan" or "Maanghee" for Dutta, the "chingaaree" or the "Naiyaa", but now this saawan or Maajhee, itself has betrayed him, atleast in Dutta's mind, then as per him, there is noone to rescue him anymore...He doesnt have a reason to change...The problem is that people dont realize that the change is for their own good and not for others. 👍🏼

I would like to add one thing more....Have you heard the song 'Ae zindagi gale laga le' from the movie Sadma ??? In it there is a line going like this, Humko sahaara mil gaya hai zindagi !! Humko kinaara mil gaya hai zindagi !! Nakusha is this 'sahaara' , 'kinaara' in dutta's life and this sahaara itself is the reason of his heartbreak once again and hence his disappointments and his distressed state. 😲 Nakusha is the sahaara, kinaara, saawan and the maajhee in dutta's life and he just can't believe what the maajhee has done to him after all the healing and hence, he is even more disturbed than before and extremely shattered.

Also, As I mentioned in other post, This time I dont want an external help reaching Dutta, in the form of Jagtap, Subbu, Madhu or anyone....When a third person tries to show the way, you dont tranform 100%...You adopt a borrowed mind and work on it...This doesnt change YOUR own feelings and notions...They only get submerged in the deepest layer of your mind...But If you yourself make an attempt to change, you have your own "Aha" moment and then you can raze the unkempt notions without a trace!.. 👍🏼

The problem with Dutta is that he has always been interdependent on borrwed brains when it comes to his emotions, be it, Kala, Naku, AS or even baaji....Hence, he could never remove his inbuilt prejudiced notions from the ground....This causes him to keep falling in the same Morass time and again...He is not healed completely....If he wants to remove them permanently, he has to work on his own!! And its high time!... 👍🏼

Originally posted by: --Saaki--

Awwwwwww............Thank you Pearl............ ...........................

Originally posted by: Dancingdoll

Totally and completely agree with you Parul! You have summed Dutta's reactions well!

I havent seen todays episode and hence I am clueless about the new DON in town but generally speaking here -

Initially when Naku entered his life, Dutta wasnt in any mood to transform. He was in pain and at times we dont realize but we get habituated and comfortable to live in that condition. We dont want a change, atleast not initiate it on our own and how could Dutta initiate a change on his own? He has to have a reason to change, there had to be a trigger or a kick! Naku was that trigger or kick and she showed him the "reason" to be "Sups". This was the motivation factor for him to start tranforming. But after Sups fiasco, he was pushed much more deeper in the pit than he was before. The old and the new bruises merged, creating a fatal wound and Naku took the fall...For few days Naku's patience and tolerance hit the deaf ears but gradually they started absorbing Naku's words and actions....and the result was a drastic 180 degree transformation,....Dutta started liking the new alien feeling, He found the air fresh and scented...He was enjoying the new world and he agreed that he was in love with Naku....He created a notion in his mind and credited her for this drastic change.

Naku rescued him from a morass in which he was sinking deeper and deeper and with this notion in mind, he became unconsciously dependent on her support...He has numerous times gone to her invariably (whether in Friendship phase or when in love) even at the slightest of uneasiness!

My dad always sings this song - Famous Rajesh Khanna song -

Chingaaree koee bhadke, to saawan use bujhaaye
Saawan jo agan lagaaye, use kaun bujhaaye?

(When the sparks of fire aggravate, the rain pacifies them, but if the rain speads the fire, then who would pacify the fire now?)

Mazdhaar mein naiyaa dole, to Maanjhee paar lagaaye
Maanjhee jo naaw dooboye use kaun bachaaye?

(When the boat is about to sink in the water, the helmsman saves it, but if the helmsman is hell bent on drowning the boat, then who can save the boat?)

Here, Naku was the "saawan" or "Maanghee" for Dutta, the "chingaaree" or the "Naiyaa", but now this saawan or Maajhee, itself has betrayed him, atleast in Dutta's mind, then as per him, there is noone to rescue him anymore...He doesnt have a reason to change...The problem is that people dont realize that the change is for their own good and not for others.

Also, As I mentioned in other post, This time I dont want an external help reaching Dutta, in the form of Jagtap, Subbu, Madhu or anyone....When a third person tries to show the way, you dont tranform 100%...You adopt a borrowed mind and work on it...This doesnt change YOUR own feelings and notions...They only get submerged in the deepest layer of your mind...But If you yourself make an attempt to change, you have your own "Aha" moment and then you can raze the unkempt notions without a trace!....The problem with Dutta is that he has always been interdependent on borrwed brains when it comes to his emotions, be it, Kala, Naku, AS or even baaji....Hence, he could never remove his inbuilt prejudiced notions from the ground....This causes him to keep falling in the same Morass time and again...He is not healed completely....If he wants to remove them permanently, he has to work on his own!! And its high time!...

Originally posted by: --Saaki--

@ Bold : Yes............Word..........

But,DD how can this be possible.....Do you think Dutta can ever think on his own or analyse his feelings & emotions...............

For that he have to be left alone to the world where he is not influenced by anyone(especially the people whom he know) & let the "Life Lessons" teach him how to get through the problems & may even recognise or understand what xactly "The Bhal & The Bura"................

May this can possible,if he goes missing somewhere or he tried to know about Nakku on his own going to Basti..........

Dont know why ,but I have a feeling that the kinda life style in Basti has every chances to transform him or make him understand that,"He is not the only person in this world who has pain or Dhoka.........Dhoka or Fareb are part of Life..........If the motto(Irada) is bad,then even the Love is also become Bad or Betrayal".............

When he understands this,then atleast he will come out of his notion "Mujhe dhoke se Nafrat hain".................

RT now,it is not necessary that he accepts her..........But,it is necessary to cahnge his notios towards "Dhoka".........Then only he will be able to wholeheartedly accept Nakku & along with her even AS & Baaji.........

Originally posted by: *dewdrop~pearl

Wow I just loved what you said @ blue 👏! You pointed out the source problem, i.e., Dutta's notions and definitions about 'dhoka' needs to be revised as its these exaggerated notions that makes him to believe that 'dhoka' is the ultimate sin or something . He has to understand that things are not always black and white and just because an act might 'seem' to be wrong, sometimes evaluation of the circumstances and intention of the act might redeem it to be a right or not-so-wrong one.

Very nice post.Parul,I simply love your thoughts.They are refreshingly different and thought provoking.
Loved all responses too.Agree with all that no one can actually change any one.You can just show direction and path,provide stimulus and conducive positive environment for change but change has to occur at an internal level in a person and that is the only change that is sustained and permanent.What Nakku did was saw beyond Dutta's superficial persona,probed deeper ,recognized his hidden good side and accepted him as he was..And acceptance is truly a beautiful thing.When a person is accepted for being who he is,a deep calm settles within;It opens the path for self -love and true peace within oneself.
Before meeting Nakku ,Dutta was scared to be vulnerable,emotional and prone to hurt again,so he convinced himself that he does not need love,there is no one in world who would return his trust and love he is unworthy of deserving love but his soul and heart craved for love ( the most basic and important of human needs).This conflict made him deeply unhappy and pushed his life in darkness.
With Nakku's unconditional love,trust,acceptance of him as he was,that conflict was gone...he had got what he most craved for,his love starved soul was satisfied ,hence he felt light,happiness,joy in life.With this "betrayal",the conflict has returned and is pulling him to dark hole again.
He is now hurt as a light of hope shown to him after long dark night has been snatched away from him yet again.
Nakku never changed him as a person,she just accepted him as he was and made him love himself again.
Now Its Dutta's turn to accept himself.and love himself ,because it is when you love yourself ,can you love someone else.

@Niki:Loved each and every line by you.SIMPLY LOVED YOUR RESPONSE👏