The Hookup | in progress | an AbhiGya FF by mina

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Mina

@-mina-

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#21

page 1 commenters

Originally posted by: -Martinski-
UN RES!

EXCUSE ME ! Why did you stop writing/posting!!!!!

Because I don't have anymore ready yet! 😳

THE WAY YOU KEPT THEIR BICKERING AND DIFFERENCES CONSISTENT AND THE TAUNTING AND TEASING AND THE COMFORT LEVEL! OH AND SO REALISTIC! No cliches and stereotypes !! Fabulous! I AM WAITING FOR THE REST!!!!!!

Yah, I tried to write it in a romantic way, but it just didn't work. Only when I let them be sarcastic and snarky did they get into it! LOL. And thanks, so glad you found it realistic and not cliched 😊

"I'm not taking your virginity against a wall." 🤣 SO ABHI!

Yeah...imagine how he would sound saying that too...!!

LOVED THE UNDERCURRENT THEY HAVE AFTER 2 years even!!!

AbhiGya are meant to be naa...doesn't matter how long they'll be apart, eventually the magic will happen 😃

"I swear I'll tear it in half. I mean it. Don't you ever, ever give a man easy access like that again."

SUPERB!!!! The protective Abhi!

Glad you liked this!! One of my favourite moments. In the original draft he swore a lot more than just "damn it"...he's very very bothered by the idea of her making it easy for someone else to get her naked...😉 😆

"Only because it's you, baby." He leaned forward to kiss her forehead, and something deep within her felt reassured at that gesture. She looked up into his familiar face, noticing how his handsome features were taut with focus. She thought, Yes, this is what I want. This is right.
^^^^

"Ok, ok! Relax, wildcat." ☺️

Some more of my favourite moments too...we have the same taste LOL 😊

LOVED THAT HE KEPT CALLING HER BABY!

I loved it too!! But Pragya didn't, and you'll see why in the next part 😊

Thank you so much for your detailed comment Ish! Really appreciate it. And thanks for always reading and giving such lovely feedback!! Love you! <3 :)

Originally posted by: Diahh
Setting, characterization, plot all of that was amazing!
Aww thanks so much for saying this Diahh! I was really hoping that all the framing of the story appealed to other people...the love scenes were the core inspiration but when writing it I found the other parts to be really important to get right...glad it worked for you!

First Abhi.
OMG he was a treat! Protective, possessive, jealous, gentle, caring, loving, funny, sexy, hot the list goes on!!!

Love this list!! How wonderful that this version of Abhi impressed you so much 😉 😃

Then Pragya.
So refreshing to see an uninhabited sassy Pragya! And at the same time you made her true to her character... Caring, responsible, loving etc.. Etc...

Ohh!! Thank you so much for saying you found her true to character!! I know I made her bolder than we normally think of her...so glad you could see the genuine Pragya there too!! 👍🏼

I love the story!!!! And there are many little little things that add to the story.. Like Abhi calling the guy Not ramdayal...etc etc...but I can't pinpoint all of it now... But I guess you already got my point...it was too good! You have done a good job!🤗

Thank you for this loveliness! I know how it feels when there are a dozen little things that stand out to you but when you're done you can't remember what to describe. So amazed that you responded to my story in this way. Thanks 😊

Oh Mina I would love to read how they would get on after this night... But if I may, I would like to suggest you to start a separate post on the story after this night... I guess that would be good... Dunno just my idea... Whatever you decide I would love to read what happens to AbhiGya after this!

Yes I understand where you're coming from! The rest of the story doesn't match the intensity or pacing of this one night...but I will probably post the update in this thread, otherwise I'll start to overdo the rest of the story to try to make it standalone worthy, and then I'll never finish 😆 😳

Hugs and lots of love to you Diahh for this fabulously supportive comment, and for always reading and being positive 😊

Edited by -mina- - 11 years ago

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Mina

@-mina-

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#22

page 2 commenters

Originally posted by: PRINCESS_ALISHA
great. thanks

Thanks for reading and commenting 😊

Originally posted by: simsim25
Wow mina!!! Loved all of it!!
You really are an amazing writer I couldn't stop reading it it was too good!

'''

Aww Simi you are so sweet! Thank for reading this story. Really appreciate your comment! ❤️ 😊

Originally posted by: rbb1
wow Mina this is really good and really well written, some of the lines are amazing, can't wait to read the next update

Thank you so much Ray!! Really glad you're enjoying it. Hope you will like the next part too, not sure when it will be ready though 😳

Originally posted by: Lkb79
This is so hot. 👏

Glad you liked it 😃

Originally posted by: aumigi
loved it. cannot wait for the next updates.

Thanks for taking the time to comment! So happy you read the story 😊

Originally posted by: Anbhigya
Heyooo minaaa...:):):):) hmm... Mature stuff haan... Since m ur adopted sibling m i supposed to read the whole OS?????:p:p:p:p he he he.. Jst kiddin.. It was jussst subtle, super n fun.. U know at first i decided to skip the mature part.. But just after 10 min i opened it..*out of curiosity* *human nature* n yeah it was subtle.. I like d protectiveness abhi had for her even when they were seperated!! He he.. D story he cooked up.. She is my sis.. Rebeling against her fiance... Nly abhi can come up wid stuff like dis.. U know generally the detailed mature stuff puts me off but thank god u conveyed whatever u wanted to n still made it bearable to read!!! N kal ho na ho reference made it so fun.. Ayee ramdayal my gf is leaving me 4 u!! U dog ramdayal(sumthin lik dis in da movie).. Kudos sissy!!! Gud job...*hugs*

Aww thanks for this amazing comment! Yes as an older sibling it's not so proper of me to expose you to this stuff...but I figure if you are old enough to be on the forum, you are old enough to decide what is appopriate for you to read. And you are college going naa, choti se bachi nahin naa :P ANYWAY, very interesting that you skipped the adult stuff first! Wasn't sure anyone would actually use that jump link. Glad that when you read it was bearable. And lol yes you have perfectly appreciated Abhi!! And woohoo you know all about the KHNH reference, those are exactly what he says!! Haha I just remembered he also called him Frankie Ramdayal...maybe could've used that to joke about Dr F...will think on it! Thanks again my dear, glad you liked it. Future parts will not have the same level of adult content I think so rest of the story should suit you too! *hugs back* 😊

Edited by -mina- - 11 years ago

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Mina

@-mina-

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#23

replies for columbia :)

Originally posted by: columbia

I knew that you would complete justice to this you fab writer you!!!! Ok I am going back to reading the rest - have only read the first part

Can I just say oh my god oh my god!

Can I just say, thank you for having faith in me! I didn't know I could do this until you motivated me to try. I'm so glad we were able to bring this story to life!!

Originally posted by: columbia
Ok this is by far your best work because you actually took the abhi and pragya we loved we hoped for in the show and put those characters into a lovely story that you have weaved beautifully!!! Throughout the story you had them at equal levels almost maintaining a sea saw of passion! Even in that raw act of passion a certain amount of understanding comfort between them wonderfully penned!
You wanted to write smut but I am sorry this is no smut I know you are going to be disappointed about that but my dear this is such a deep layered story within the act of sex! You couldn't help it you are a
Layered writer and I knew this about you!
What a story you have given us a treat a magical world!!
Please please please continue!!!!
I want abhi to keep wanting her I think I have gone mad officially!

Haha on the contrary, I am so flattered that you see this story as more than smut. It was important to me to layer in emotions and characterization and I am very happy that this came through to you.

Abhi definitely still wants her. In fact he's never going to stop wanting her from now on. Not sure if he knows that yet, but he'll surely find out 😉

Originally posted by: columbia
Haylo where is next part??? Haylo pls pls pls I know I am pressuring but pls pls understand your readers heart condition now if like this story you post and leave midway what will happen to us????

Haaye re, my friend, it took me two and a half weeks to put this together...it's going to be at least a few more days for me to come up with the rest! Sorry about your heart rate 😳

Edited by -mina- - 11 years ago

Quote

Mina

@-mina-

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#24

page 3 & 4 shorter comments

Originally posted by: kubare
Loved it...great writing girl

Thank you!! Really appreciate you reading and commenting on both sites, absolutely made my day! So glad you have joined us on the forums 😊

Originally posted by: anusha.nush
that was a nice one

Thanks so much for commenting!

Originally posted by: MissAsian
Omg u have to continue asap
i'ma buddy u right now so that u can PM ur updates

Aww thanks for commenting, glad you like it! My apologies, I don't send out update PMs - too lazy 😳 It will probably be a few days before the next update.

Originally posted by: -Ishana-
OMG Mina! Still blushing...
I love how you portrayed AbhiGya so hot!
Please continue soon! Absolutely loved it!!!

Aww Ishana thank you for reading the story!! Sorry if it made you blush. Glad you enjoyed it and I really appreciate this comment!!

Originally posted by: rutu83
oh wow!😳
i lol hard at uti info from dr. chashmish 😃

Thanks for reading and commenting Rutu! So happy you appreciated it. And yes, I figure if I'm going to be so corrupt as to post smut on the forums, the least I can do is include some public service health information 😉

Originally posted by: adventure_gurl
loved it

Thank you for commenting!! 😊

Edited by -mina- - 11 years ago

Quote

Mina

@-mina-

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#25

page 3 & 4 comments - longer

Originally posted by: renukha871
Res, Mina!! In need of cold shower after reading your complete version!😉
Okay. unres!!
Ermm, I've no words to tell you how beautiful this was.😳
Now, I know what Tia meant!😆
Anyway, I will try to to give my best comment. And this is based on the version I read on the different site. Is that allowed? Well!!

I loved every part of the story. From Abhi's-kinda-stalking-Pragya till the after morning😉!!
They're very well written. Even their scenes were witty and had sex humors from the beginning. I liked how Pragya boldly spoke on her lingerie and how she straightened her bra in front of him. Showed the comfort level she shares with him. And the condom thing!!😆 And Abhi hating her dress!!😆!! Loved them all!!😉
A great read!!😃😛

Ohh man!! I need to stop writing stuff that leaves my friends wordless...it's super flattering, but not as fun as getting feedback !! LOL jk. Thanks so much for taking the time to read the full fic and come back with your thoughts. So glad you liked it. We didn't quite get to the morning after so I wonder what you mean? Hah yay for seeing wit and humour! A really important part of the AbhiGya dynamic. And yeah I didn't think of it but the fact that she was tugging at her bra in front of him without self consciousness sure does indicate comfort...well they did share a bedroom for about a year, so! And I'm sure you know why Abhi had issues with that dress 😉 Thanks again for your reading and commenting, lots of love to you dear Renu! ❤️

Originally posted by: -Tia-

Mina! First of all, splendid, flawless writing. Makes it so worth it.

It was liberating to see a liberated Pragya. Carrying on with her life, after a joke of a marriage and finally wanting to cater to her needs too.

What a Kumkum Bhagya/destiny moment that Abhi ends up in the same bar as hers when she gotten desperate enough to say hell with you to her virginity!

Abhi Oh Abhi! His Ramdayal stuff was so him. He called Pragya his sister to get the guy off. How possessively protective he was of Pragya.

Ah, their weird connection worked out and they make this deal to do it.

How lucky Abhi is, after everything he did to her, she still allows him to be her first. Oh Well, shows how she had not let him go.

And the lovemaking itself.. Oh dear.. are first times so fulfilling.. really? So dreamy! The way he took care of her.. and how she let herself loose.. Uff! Mina, the writing of this part was soo sooo good. With all the hotness, it had his care for her, her yearning, her appreciation of him.. and their connection.

But my favourite part was the after sex stuff. Loved that he wanted to cuddle with her, she and her UTI thing was freaking hilarious. They are not gonna let go of each other now, will they?

Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it with us. A dream first time for Pragya with a dream man!

Haaye yaar Tia thank you for this thoughtful comment!! I read it over and over 😊

Glad you liked liberated Pragya...yes, after all she went through, she started to be able to focus and have a sense of living her own life on her own terms...Gosh can't even tell you how much I LOVE you saying that it's a bhagya/destiny moment that brings Abhi to her that night! Never thought of that but it's perfect. Also never thought about how lucky Abhi is that she, as you said, allows him to be her first. To be sure he doesn't deserve it! But good boy, at least he made the most of the opportunity given to him and gave her a proper first time 😃

As for how realistic this was...well, probably we can say that fictional Pragya has better luck than most of us in real life...and I as the author can make fictional Abhi attuned and attentive to Pragya's needs far beyond what could be expected between real people who each have their own needs and awarenesses...! As you concluded, dream encounter with a dream man, but hopefully with enough hints of the awkwardness and hit-and-miss exploration that also accompanies first times...

And YES, my favourite stuff was the after sex stuff too!! THANK YOU for noticing how he wanted to cuddle with her, and for liking the UTI thing!! My crowning moments, in my opinion 😃 😆 As for whether they are going to let each other go...they may try, but it won't stick. It's that destiny thing again of course.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, so pleased that you liked this story! 😊 ❤️

Originally posted by: samarth300
RES

Trish I am just going to res this space for my reply to your comment, because I have a thing about corralling responses into posts. 😆 No obligation to leave a long comment don't worry! And thanks for res'ing, hope you like the story!! 😊

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Anbhigya

@Anbhigya

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#26

[/B]

Originally posted by: Anbhigya
Heyooo minaaa...:):):):) hmm... Mature stuff haan... Since m ur adopted sibling m i supposed to read the whole OS?????:p:p:p:p he he he.. Jst kiddin.. It was jussst subtle, super n fun.. U know at first i decided to skip the mature part.. But just after 10 min i opened it..*out of curiosity* *human nature* n yeah it was subtle.. I like d protectiveness abhi had for her even when they were seperated!! He he.. D story he cooked up.. She is my sis.. Rebeling against her fiance... Nly abhi can come up wid stuff like dis.. U know generally the detailed mature stuff puts me off but thank god u conveyed whatever u wanted to n still made it bearable to read!!! N kal ho na ho reference made it so fun.. Ayee ramdayal my gf is leaving me 4 u!! U dog ramdayal(sumthin lik dis in da movie).. Kudos sissy!!! Gud job...*hugs*

<font color="#6600CC">Aww thanks for this amazing comment! Yes as an older sibling it's not so proper of me to expose you to this stuff...but I figure if you are old enough to be on the forum, you are old enough to decide what is appopriate for you to read. And you are college going naa, choti se bachi nahin naa :P ANYWAY, very interesting that you skipped the adult stuff first! Wasn't sure anyone would actually use that jump link. Glad that when you read it was bearable. And lol yes you have perfectly appreciated Abhi!! And woohoo you know all about the KHNH reference, those are exactly what he says!! Haha I just remembered he also called him Frankie Ramdayal...maybe could've used that to joke about Dr F...will think on it! Thanks again my dear, glad you liked it. Future parts will not have the same level of adult content I think so rest of the story should suit you too! *hugs back* 😊</font>

well.. Yess m a colz goin old enuf to read mature stuff!!! But too much detailing puts me off yaar... N yes u should not expose me to the khatarnaak stuff:p:p:p he he he.. But i don't remember any OS f urs which made me cringe.. I even read sulbul wala OS coz it was urs...:) so i know u can handle it very well!!! N for dat m proud f u!! KHNH was one hell of a movie.. Perfect blend of tragedy n humour!! Waitin for next part.. Keep rockin my ROCKSTAR DIDU!!!:)

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Nitya Suresh

@TheAutumnFizz

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#27

Loved it!! It was sooo good!! I agree with Pragya.. Why are sex rules different for men and women.. Seriously..
The not-Ramadayal was so funny!! Wonder what happens when Pragya sees him at the conference.. Hahaha..
Looking forward to more.. :)

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Trisha

@-Trishh-

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#28

Unres!!

Ok, first of all. I loved Kal Ho Na Ho back then!! So the Ramdayal thing was totally awesome! While reading it, Ramdayal, felt very familiar, and now I'm like OHH! And the not-Ramdayal part brought back a few memories as well. So, I had this math teacher that told us a story about his mother in law who was a teacher and in her preschool class there were twins. One was Michelle, and guess what the other one's name was?? Not-Michelle! And this is totally legit info! So it brought me back to the class and that year's math class was the most fun one I had yet. So thanks!

Okay, now I'll get to the actual story😆

So it basically was so amazing!! I loved the banter between Abhi and Pragya. I mean they were so in character the whole time with their sarcastic-ness. Abhi's possessiveness in the beginning was marvelously done. Some parts I loved: (and I might be missing a few)

Pragya nodded and leaned forward, propping her chin on her hand again. "Yeah, I heard that she's engaged to Fawad Khan now. Well, at least you can take comfort in the fact that she left you for the sexiest man alive. I mean, there's no competing with that."

Abhi glared at her. "You must be misinformed, Chashmish. I'm the sexiest man alive, thank you very much. And she didn't leave me for him. She left me because she said you changed me."

His ego, uff!❤️

"We don't need luxury. We just need a bed, or even a wall."

"I'm not taking your virginity against a wall."

That's totally Abhi😆

"Damn it, Chashmish. This is a dangerous dress."

She smiled. "It's getting me good results so far."

"Don't ever wear it again."

"You don't get to decide that."

"I swear I'll tear it in half. I mean it. Don't you ever, ever give a man easy access like that again."

Her voice grew distant as she reached her destination. "Don't you know that it's very important to empty your bladder post-coitus to minimize the risk of a UTI?"

This made me 🤣

P.S: Usually TOO much details in the mature parts without proper conversations and thoughts puts me off. But this was just perfect Mina

Edited by samarth300 - 11 years ago

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Asmaa

@Asma-

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#29

Very nice concept and very funny how Pragya is desperate hihi
i really hope you will update soon
Good Luck 👍🏼

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@putturani

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#30

Another excellent fic mina! I really like how you showed that Pragya has moved on with her life. I loved how you made the bolder Pragya more believable by putting in that exchange with Bulbul and making her be true to her original character. I'm really intrigued to see where this will go next, there are so many unresolved issues between them. I would also very much like to see the complete version if you don't mind!