Posted:
Hey guys...
I was clearing my documents when I found this OS that i started writing long back but couldn't write further...
Its a rather silly idea but just thought to share...before i delete this...
The Rain & My Man.
I was clearing my documents when I found this OS that i started writing long back but couldn't write further...
Its a rather silly idea but just thought to share...before i delete this...
The Rain & My Man.
Leaning against the pane of my window, I put forward my hand and felt those cold wet drops of rain on my palm. Having them, feeling those tiny drops and hearing that thunder sound gave me a kind of satisfaction.
Satisfaction, That I still have something to hold onto him. Still have something, that could make me remember his masculine face, set jaw and that dazzling dimple in his cheeks that formed the instant, whenever he used to smile, perfectly.
It is not like, I have forget him. I haven't. And for sure, the chances to forget him are near to none. Whenever it will happen, that will be the last day of my life, the last second of my memory and the last beat of my heart.
The pain arises as soon as the memory of our last rain flashed infront of my eyes.
The night, whn I for the first time get the feeling that I love him. I confessed.
The night, when I realized that behind this fasacde of Dr. Heartstone, he has hold back a child that want to break free. A child who wanted to enjoy each phase, each moment, each day of his life but then, that life was not fair to him and surpressing all his needs, he had spent it in fulfilling his duties, In fulfilling the dreams of his baba, In fulfilling to be an ideal son.
I loved that man. I still do. My first & last love.
Dr. Ashutosh Mathur.
I sighed and pulled my hand back and move it on my face as of kissing him.
My throat burned wirh just the thought as my mind again run a flashback in my mind of our first kiss. The only kiss we shared. The only hug we shared.
I so desperately want to feel those warm lips against mine. Those strong arms around my waist, those whispers in my ears telling me again and again that everything wull be alright.
"Baba ko manana mushkil zaroor hai...par namumkin nahi Nidhi...tum hosla rakho"
He told me. It was 2 months that I have seen him last. 2 months.
And its just me, who knows how I survived.
But guess, I was not strong enough to stand up against my father.
He was furious and disappointed after knowing about me and Dr.Ashutosh and that day, for the first time, he told me
"Tum ne aj mera sir jhuka diya Nidhi...Jiss beti pe mujhe itna maan tha...jiss beti ko maine kabhi betay se kam nahi samjha, Aj usi nay mujhe zamanay main moun dikhanay liyak nahi chora".
I felt dishearted as a daughter.
The man, who always taught me to live my life looking up into the sky was broken because of me. But then he was the one who has also taugjt me to figjt for the right, to fight for one's right.
And I know, our love...was. is, and always will be right and To have him further in my life, I have to fight. But a silent fight.
The feeling of loosing my only love and the shame, I put on my family made me cut from the outside world. I stopped meeting Anji...My best friend...I stopped taking calls from Rohan, my heart friend.
Heart friend, as he knows the each feeling of my heart and understand them better than anyone else.
All my pain, just belongs to me now...
I have even stopped talking to Baba...I haven't seen him from.the last one week. Not even for a moment.
Dadi bua was a entire different matter. She was angry with me but she still would send me food in my room through Chotay Sarkar...that I have returned most of the time without eating.
How can I eat to live when my life is felling apart...
Its days after, this rain made my usually dead body feel alive.
I cherished his each memory with a smile today rather than those normal tears and turned to my bed when I felt dizzy.
Holding my head with one and window's rail with another, I tried to stabilize myself but failed miserably and last thing I knew, was that the floor hugged my lump body.
>>Next Part<<
This Os is especially for Anjani n Pansy...
Thank you for you kind words earlier.
Take care
Thank you for you kind words earlier.
Take care
Anupamaa
