Bigg Boss 19: daily Discussion Thread- 1st Sept 2025.
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki: Episode Discussion Thread - 26
Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai - 01 Sep 2025 EDT
Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai Sept 2, 2025 Episode Discussion Thread
UMAR KHAYID 1.9
ABHEERA IN JAIL 2.9
Bacha chor is such an incompetent lawyer🤦♀️
What’s the upcoming track??
Mrunal Thakur Called Mean Girl
In this gen Cliff wali legacy maut will not happen
I wanted Abheera’s fate for Akshara
Janhvi Kapoor In Talks For Chaalbaaz Remake
Jee Le Zaraa Is Happening
Real Woman Power Farhana
Celebs pictures during Ganesh Festival
Chapter 10
Part 1
"No!" Mallika said in a shocked whisper.
Her soft NO, got Ashutosh and Nidhi's attention. They turned to look at her, and saw that she had gone as white as a sheet, and was staring at Khushi as though she had seen a ghost!
"No it can't be. This is just not possible...
Distracted Ashutosh gave Mallika a hurried glance and frowned, "Mallika..."
But he was not allowed to complete his thought as Khushi peered over his shoulder curiously," Papa yeh Aunty kaun hai?"
Ashutosh looked at Nidhi who shrugged her shoulders leaving the ball squarely in his court as to how to explain Mallika to their daughter. He made a face at her and she smiled, then he turned to Khushi who was still looking at Mallika with great interest.
"Beta yeh Dr. Mallika hai. Mere saath kaam karti hain."
"Accha toh yeh Dr. Aunty bhi Mamma aur aapke saath hospital ke sick people ko theek karti hai."
"Haan beta, par yahan nahin. Yeh kahin aur reheti hain, hamare ghar se door...bahut door. Accha baby ab bahut baatein ho gayi. You need to go back to sleep. Kal school jaana hai na. Agar aap soye nahin toh phir uth nahin paoge and then you will be late. Hmmm."
"Theek hai Papa."
"Chalo apni Mamma ke saath upar jao, main Dr. Mallika se baatein karke abhi aata hoon."
Ashutosh handed Khushi to Nidhi and turned towards Mallika, who, by then, had gotten up from floor, but, was still staring at Khushi with a stunned expression. Then suddenly, Nidhi reached out and grabbed Ashutosh, digging her nails painfully into his arm. He looked at her and raised his eyebrow in question. She gestured to mallika, and that was when he saw the reason for her panic. Mallika moving, as if in a trace, with her arm outstretched toward Khushi. He reacted immediately, by patting her hand reassuringly, an d at the same time calling out sharply, "MALLIKA!" The command in his voice seemed to snap her out of her daze and she stopped.
Ashutosh was puzzled and wanted to ask Mallika why she was behaving so strangely. But before he did that he had to get Khushi back upsatirs. He wanted to deal with her in private, without either Nidhi or their little girl's presence.
"Nidhi sweetheart, tum Khushi ko le kar upar jao main Mallika se baatein karkr aataa hoon", he said quietly.
Nidhi nodded silently. She was about to turn and walk back up the stairs when Khushi called out to Ashutosh and extended her arms. Understanding the sweet gesture, Ashutosh smiled and bent down to place a tender kiss on the tot's cheek. Then he signaled to Nidhi that she should go ahead and take Khushi up. Nidhi nodded and then with a last wary glance in Mallika's direction climbed up the stairs with her daughter held securely in her arms.
Making sure they were out of hearing range Ashutosh turned and walked menacingly up to Mallika, who had managed to pull herself together, but still looked a little pale.
"Yeh sab kya tha? Just what the hell are you trying to pull by coming here like this? Aur yeh Khushi ko dekh ke kya drama kar rahi thi tum? Mallika Nidhi aur mai toh adults hain, par Khushi toh choti bacchi hai, kam se kam iss baat ka lihaaj to karo. Please don;t play your games in front of her like that again. In fact, just saty away from her. Uss se bhi better, just stay away from my whole family."
Mallika finally managed to gather her wits,"I think tum thoda over board jaa rahe ho Ashutosh. And Mai koi drama nahin kar rahi thi. Bas bacchi ko dekh kar thodi surprise ho gayi thi. I was seeing the dream I used to have regarding our future come to life in front of my eyes, only instead I have been replaced by another woman. Yeh mera sapna tha Ashutosh jo tum Nidhi ke saath jee rahe ho. I was a little upset,bas. Nothing to get all excited about. You don't need to over react."
Ashutosh moved a couple of steps closer then in a very soft menacing voice said," Mallika get out of my house and get out of my life. There is no room for you in either. I don't want to see your face ever again."
She smirked,"Jaati hoon tumhare ghar se Ashutosh. But the other part of your threat, tumhari life se jaane ki... Oh no Ashutosh! You are not going to get rid of me so easily. I waited my whole life for you. Tumhare Baba, aur mere Baba ne saari zindagi mujhe yeh bol bol ke bada kiya tha ke tum mere ho, and unki baaton mein aakar main tumhari and apni zindagi ke sapon mein itna kho gayi ke it left no room in my mind or heart for anyone else. And you... You threw me over like yesterdays news for someone who came into your life yesterday(figure of speech) who half my age, and half of yours. Sometimes I wonder if that was the deal breaker. Kyon Ashu, yeh baat thi kya... Whatever! Water under the bridge I guess. Ao my response to your threat is... No I will not leave your life Ashutosh. You definitely have not seen the last of me."
Mallika turned to leave, and took a couple of steps towards the door, but then she hesitated and turned around again, "By the way have you told her all about your life in the past five years. I mean usse sab pata hai, yaa tumne kuch baatein secret rakkhe hui hain. Main tumhari dost hoon na, iss liye keh rahi hoon. Secrets have a way of coming out Ashutosh. And when they do...
Ashutosh's eyes narrowed,"Are you threatening me Mallika?"
"No I am not threatening you. But, I see. I was right, hai na? Tumne Nidhi ko nahin bataya abhi tak, hunh?"
"It is none of your damned business main apni biwiko kya batata hoon kya nahin. You just stay the hell away from her, you hear! Her and our daughter!"
She smiled evilly," She is not your daughter Ashutosh no matter how much you might want her to be. She is Nidhi's. And you can't dictate what I do. I will do what I want. And besides, I was just cautioning you. (Mallika walked quickly to the front door and opened it, and turned around once again)Although, I would tell her if I were you...before she finds out by herself. And iss bahane tumhe yeh bhi pata chal jayega just how much she really loves you. If she does at all..." She said on a parting shot before closing the door quietly behind her.
Mallika walked on shaky legs to her car and after digging out her keys she opened to door with trembling fingers. Once she was seated she let herself go, running a nervous hand through her hair, and then leaning her head back on the headrest of her seat she recalled Nidhi's daughter's face. The child was a spitting image of Ashutosh!
"Yeh kaise ho sakta hai. Kahin yeh bacchi... Nahin... It cant be her. It's just not possible. Par uss bacchi ki shakal? Kahin ussne jhoot toh nahin bola mujhse? On the other hand, bacchi yahan lucknow mein... Just how did the child end up in Lucknow?"
Unable to find the answers, and terrified about what would happen were Ashutosh to find out the truth she took out her phone. As she looked up the number in her contact list and dialed, she wondered what on earth had possessed her to do something so outrageous.
"Hello..."
"Main mallika bol rahin hoon."
"Hello madam. Kaisi hain aap? Aur itni raat gaye kaise yaad kiya aapne iss bande ko? Bataaiye mai aapki kya seva kar sakta hoon? Mere layak koi kaam?"
"Bakwas band karo. Tumne mujhse jhoot bola tha. Kyon? Tumne soch bhi kaise liya ki mujhe pataa nahin chalega. Tumhari himmat kaise hui mujhse jhoot bolne ki?"
The voice on the other side had a nervous tinge to it now,"Madam kaisi baatein kar rahin hain app. Aapka kaam ho gaya tha. Maine personally make sure kiya tha..."
"Your are a bloody liar..."
"Na..Nahin madam, aapko zaroor koi dhokha hua hai. Maine personally, apne haathon se aapka kiya tha. Kasam se..."
"Shut up moron, Mujhe sab pataa chal gaya hai. Maine bacchi ko apni aankon se dekha hai abhi abhi. Please don't insult my intelligence by telling me that I was seeing things. I want to meet you right now. Get yourself on the next flight and come to india. Main tumhein Delhi mein milti hoon. And Sunny...don't even think about trying to ignore me or make excuses... You know na what I am capable of and also who I will complain too if..."
"No Madam, iski koi zaroorat nahin hai.( there was an audible gulp) Main aata hoon. I will try and catch the next available flight. I will see you in Delhi Ma'am in a couple of days."
"Yes make sure you do. I will text you when and where tomorrow."
She cut him off and slumped into her seat again. "Bloody Hell! What an unholy mess!"
Mallika realized that she could not do anything as far as the child was concerned. Aakhir she still had some honor left, and harming a child... Even she drew the line at. Of course the child's mother was another matter... Lekin abhi nahin, that would be the last resort. Abhi toh she needed to bide her time. And of course it might not even be necessary. Now that she knew Ashutosh had not told his precious wife everything... Of course she would have to find out at some point. She had too. Secrets had a way of coming out. So when she did, and that was what Mallika was there for, and she would make sure of it, Nidhi might, just might leave Ashutosh on her own. Of course she needed to prepared for all the contingencies too. And besides there was no chance that she could even get close enough to Nidhi to do anything right now, nor could she get anyone else to do so either. Ashutosh would be on the alert, he would immediately suspect her and that would mean too much unnecessary trouble. From experience she knew that no matter how carefully one planned things, things had a way of going south. No she could not no anything...definitely not right now. But when the time came, IF the time came and she got the opportunity...that was a whole other ball game... After all, "EVERYTHING WAS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR", if she could not have Ashutosh she would make damn sure Nidhi would not either.
Mallika had a satisfied smile on her face as she started her car and drove towards her house. Her house... That was another surprise for her dear ex-husband. She would save that for later too. Abhi ke liye she was sure that she had done enough to cause him several sleepless nights. Well almost enough. Abhi ek chhota sa kaam aur baccha hua tha jisko finish karna bahut zaroori tha... Akhir kar pati patni ke beech kuch bhi chippa nahin rehena chahiye. Har patni ka haq hai ke usse apne pati ki zindagi ke baare main sab pataa ho. Isn't that what Ashutosh had said. He and Nidhi were soulmates. They had the perfect love and the perfect marriage. "So let's just see how perfect his marriage is," Mallika murmured between clenched teeth and her car shot ahead as her foot pressed down unconsciously on the accelerator.
Ashutosh stared at the door for several long seconds after Mallika left. He knew that her threat was not an idle one, and could not help worry and wonder what she was planning. A car horn outside the house startled him out of his thoughts and he moved to secure the house for the night before slowly trudging upstairs, his mind buzzing with Mallika's threats, and the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Ashutosh was about to pass by Khushi's room when he stopped. He found that he could not resist looking in on the child one last time before he turned in for the night. Pushing open the door he stepped softly in and sat down next to her. Ashutosh's throat clogged with emotion as he ran his fingers gently through her soft hair and down her baby soft cheeks. And, when he bent to place a kiss on top her head, a lone tear trickled down his cheek and landed on hers. Ashutosh smiled as he wiped it off noting that she did not even stir. The sight of the little girl sleeping so peacefully curled up on her side with one tiny hand tucked underneath her cheek, and the other clutching her teddy bear brought a fresh batch of tears to his eyes. Looking down at her, her total innocence and beauty, filled his entire being with love for this child, who had not only captured his heart but had been instrumental in uniting him with the love of his life. He knew that she did not belong to either of them biologically, but he knew that that fact did not make any difference to either him or Nidhi. He could not have loved her any more than if she had been his, this precious precious child, his little angel... Ashutosh sighed and slowly got up tucking the blanket a bit more securely around the little girl and giving her one more kiss he left her room and went to the room that once belonged to Nidhi's parents, their room now. He knew that Nidhi would have questions for him, only he did not know how he was going to answer. He had to tell her, that was a given. But HOW... That was the questions he did not have the answers too. How could he tell her and expect her to believe him. Situations reversed he would have a hard time believing the same story if it were told to him. And knowing Mallika as he did, he kew that the threat was not an idle one. So before she could do anything, he needed to tell Nidhi everything. He could only pray that when it came down to it she would believe him. But, how? How could he even begin to hope that his Nidhi, or for that matter any wife no matter how trusting, believe what he was about to tell her... "Oh god. Please... Please don't let me loose her again. I will not be able to survive this time... Please!" He thought in anguish.
Nidhi was indeed waiting for him, just he had known she would be. She turned to him the moment he closed the door, a huge smile on her face as she walked up to him. Ashutosh opened his arms and closed them around her tightly and buried his face in her hair.
"Arre wah. Kya baat hai Ji, aaj bada pyar aa raha hai biwi par."
He did not respond, but just tightened his hold around her instead. Nidhi brought one of her hands up and buried it in his hair, and the other she ran soothingly down his back," Kya baat hai Ashuji?"
Ashutosh sighed deeply and the drew back to look into her eyes.
"Nidhi I need to tell you something. Actually I have been wanting to for a long time, but..."
"But kuch nahin. Pehle mujhe yeh bataiye ke does thing thing, whatever it is, have anything to do with Dr. Mallika?" She asked cutting him off.
"Yes, but Nidhi..."
"Toh phir mujhe abhi nahin sunana. I know ke jo bhi baat hogi uss se mood kharab hoga, and main abhi apna mood kharab nahin karna chahti."
"Kya matlab?" Ashutosh asked her puzzled.
"Bhool gaye? Aap kuch keh rahe the na, when we returned home... ke ab aapki baari hai..."
Ashutosh gave her a totally puzzled look. Nidhi shook her head smiling ruefully, then looping her arms around his neck she brought her face close to his, "I guess this is what I have to look forward to hunh? Jab biwi purani hone lagti hai toh saare pati shayad aise hi bhoolne lagte hain. (She sighed exageratedly) Doctor Sahab main woh baat yaad dila rahi hoon jo aapne bahar boli thi... Yaad aaya? You were saying something about how it is your turn to be indulged..."
She shook her head, tender resignation on her face as she saw the beginning of a smile on his face signaling that he finally remembered what she was talking about. But the next second he became serious again. "But Nidhi, I really need to tell you something first..."
Nidhi cut him off again by placing her lips on his. "Later husband, later. Abhi I am in the mood to indulge you. Baatein toh baad mein bhi ho sakti hain. And besides, jo bhi hai itna urgent toh nahin hai na ke thodi der wait na kar sake." She said punctuating her words with the tiny kisses she trailed down his jaw and neck, while hands were busy unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it off his shoulders. As she slid it down his arms she drew back a little and let her gaze roam hungrily over his sleek muscled torso.
"Par Nidhi..."
"Shhh..." She said and put one finger on his lips.
Then moving closer she replaced the finger with her lips and then slowly and very deliberately looking him in the eyes trailed her hands down his chest her finger going to the snaps on his jeans.
"Baad mein", she whispered as she slid her gown off her shoulders and brought her body flush with his,"bahut baad mein".
All thoughts of Mallika and everything else flew out of his mind as she began caressing him and pulled his face down to hers. And as luck would have it, Ashutosh did not get the time later as both of them were too exhausted.
The next day started off with one crisis after the other. Nidhi's mornings were usually of her going from one end of the house to the other, rushing to get ready herself, and getting Khushi ready along with a million other things, Ashutosh just could not pin her down long enough to get a word in edgewise. Finally giving up he decided that he would tell her on the way to the hospital. But, you what they say, "that when it rains it pours." He realized how true it was because he as luck would have it, he did not get that chance either. Nidhi's pager went off almost as soon as they left Khushi's school. She was asked to do a consult on a patient in another state so she was on the phone practically the whole way, and as soon as they reached the hospital, Ashutosh was told that his first OPD patient had arrived and was waiting for him in the waiting area. He gave Nidhi a quick peck on her cheek and reluctantly walked off in the opposite direction.
That set the trend for that whole day and the next 3-4 days to come. Apparently the doctors and nurses at the hospital decided to go on a strike for some unfair regulations and policy grievances against the management, which kept Ashutosh busy trying to mediate between the two party's and to work out a mutually agreeable compromise. Then there was a multiple car crash involving 7 adults and 9 children, all of which were brought into KGH. Three of the nine children were critical, and had to be admitted into the ICU, one of which was not expected to live, while one was probably going to be a quadriplegic for the rest of his life, and the third had a slim chance of making it but there was a chance that he might need on of his arms amputated. The child had come in with the arm being barely attached to his body by a few threads. They had taken him into surgery immediately and the team of surgeons had tried their best to attach it back, but the ends had been shredded so badly that it was anybody's guess as to whether the nerves and muscles would knit back properly if at all. They would have to wait and see. Because of this Nidhi was kept busy at the hospital late into the evenings. Rangnath had taken over the duty of picking Khushi from school along with Nishi and taking her to his house, from where Ashutosh picked her and took care of her till Nidhi came home.
So, with one thing or another, both at home and at the hospital, they both were so busy that at the end of the day all they could do was fall into bed exhausted, only to wake up the next morning to another chaotic day. The thought that he needed to talk to Nidhi was pushed to the back of his mind as Ashutosh kept order at the hospital before rushing home to take care of his daughter d until his wife came home. That Khushi was extremely attached to her mother was brought home to him by the fact that the little girl would fly into her arms, cling to Nidhi from the moment she got home till the moment she went to bed. Apparently Khushi still had not gotten over her fear of Nidhi disappearing from her life. He was amazed at the patience Nidhi had, dealing with all the crisis at work, then coming home to deal with her irate, cranky child.
To be absolutely truthful, Ashutosh was also a little jealous. And thought he would never tell her, but there were times when he felt like a complete outsider. An uncomfortable third wheel. Both his girls were so used to each other, just each other, that they did not seem to need anyone else. He knew that Khushi loved him, but the bond she had with Nidhi very strong. He knew that no matter what he did or how much he loved her , no one could ever take her mother's place in her heart. He knew it was unreasonable, He knew that since Nidhi had been a part of Khushi's life since almost from birth, whereas he had just come into her life, and that it would take time, but still... Ashutosh wished he had been there with Nidhi right from the beginning. Right from the second she had found the tiny baby on the steps of the orphanage. When he thought about how Khushi had come into Nidhi's life, given her a purpose, and kept her sanity anchored... It seemed like a god sent miracle how the child had arrived at just the right time. Whatever the reasons the birth mother had for leaving her child like that on the orphanage steps it did not matter to him. What mattered and what he was grateful for was Khushi. He would forever be in her debt for bringing the child into the world. The baby had saved Nidhi as much as Nidhi had saved her. Although he knew that Nidhi did not see it that way, that she would probably get seriously PO'ed if he even dared say such a thing. To her Khushi was her daughter as surely as if she herself had given birth to her. PURE AND SIMPLE!.
Then his thoughts took him back to Mallika's threat. Ashutosh sighed and ran a hand through his hair and turned from the window he had been staring out of to look at the bed where his wife lay sleeping. Nidhi was there lying on her side, facing towards him with her arm outstretched, searching for him even in her sleep. The minute he lay down Nidhi scooted closer and snuggled into him. His heart flooded with love as she put her arm across his middle. She burrowed into him, pushing her face in the crook of his neck and gave him a tiny kiss in her sleep. Closing his eyes he wrapped both arms his around her, snuggling into her a bit also. Just being close like this with her and having her in his arms brought solace and soothed his tired brain, but, sleep still eluded him. He was too tense. And he knew the reason for his stress. Mallika's threat!
Ashutosh knew that had he could have...no he SHOULD have tried harder. He have made her listen to him, he should have told her the day they had gotten married. Even though they had not been on good terms then, he still should have. He had known that he was only delaying the inevitable, but he did not want to loose his family, his heaven. He had just gotten Nidhi back into his life. It had seemed like dream, one that he never wanted to come out of. He felt as though he had died and been brought life again. After the unimaginable pain and misery he had just started living again... No, he decided. He would not loose her. No matter what it took he would make sure she knew the whole truth. "Tomorrow", he thought as his eyelids closed sleepily. "Tomorrow... He would tell her tomorrow morning and then he would face whatever God had in mind for him". He would not delay it even for another day. He knew that Mallika would not wait indefinitely. He was sure that she was plotting something even at that very second. It was better that Nidhi found out from him rather than her. She deserved to find out from him.
The next afternoon Ashutosh anxiously made his way down to Nidhi's cabin, his hands damp with a nervous sweat, ache in his chest, and a lead ball in the pit of his stomach. He gave a soft knock and opened the door when she answered.
"Nidhi, we need to have a talk..."
But he stopped mid sentence when he saw the pale face she lifted up from the file she had been reading. That was also when he noticed the visitor she had sitting in the chair across from her.
"Mallika! What are you doing here? Did I not make it clear to you the other night about staying away from my family? I think..."
"Oh come now Ashutosh, I know you did not really mean that. You were upset. Anyway relax. I am here because I want to make things easier for you. I know that you are having a hard time telling your wife about the events in your life during the past five years. So, I thought that I would do you a favor and tell her for you. Akhir main tumhari bacchpan ki dost hoon. Itna toh tumhare liye kar hi sakti hoon. And tumhari ex-wife hone ke naate I felt it was my duty to tell my successor about our husband's b*****d child. I am surprised at you Ashutosh. How could you not tell her that you about the product of your indiscretion. You also kept the fact that I was the one who divorced you because of that, not the other way around as she had believed. I knew Nidhi would not believe me otherwise so I brought copies of the divorce settlement and a copy of the fat alimony check your lawyer sends to me every month, as proof to back up my story. And you Ashutosh, shame on you, hiding something like that from her. And here I thought you guys had the perfect marriage. Isn't that what you told me, that you never keep secrets. Apparently Nidhi did not know that her husband was a liar as well as the father of a bas..."
"THAT'S ENOUGH, MALLIKA!" Nidhi's voice, filled with ice cold fury, cracked out like a whiplash, causing both her and Ashutosh to look in Nidhi's direction with surprise. Neither had ever heard her use that tone ever before. Along with her fury, Nidhi's deceptively calm tone, carried contempt and disgust, which did not escape the notice of the other women.
"Mallika? How dare you address me like that. I am your senior, have you forgotten that? Evan for thoughiui]\jhha it was for a short time, I was also one of the doctors you interned under here at KGH. So I am also your teacher. Lagata hai tum apni sabhyata ko bhool gayi. Tumhein zara bhi tameez nahin ke apne se badon se, and apni teachers se, kaise baat kartein hain?"
"Mallika tum..."
"Ek minute Ashuji. Aap please beech mein mat boliye, I can handle this. Please..."
Ashutosh stared at her for a few seconds and gave a slight nod. Then she turned back to face Mallika, "Main kuch nahin bhooli Mallika, mujhe acchi tarha se pata hai kiss se kaisi baat karni chahiye. Aur jahan tak respect ki baat hai, toh respect unko milti hai jo usse earn kartein hain, and jo ]'eserve kartein hain, aap jaise logon ko nahin."
"So the little cat is finally showing her claws. You know you are a constant souce of amazement to me. Tum ab bhi Ashutosh ki tarafdaari kar rahi ho. Does it not matter that he lied and kept secrets ..."
"Wait Mallika! Hold it right there! Before you get any further, I want to disabuse you of your misunderstandings. My husband has neither lied to me, nor has he kept any secrets from me. About ANYTHING!!! Ashutosh ne mujhe shaadi ke baad hi sab kuch bataa diya tha. You are not telling me anything new. And jhoot Ashutosh nahin tum bol rahi ho. Na toh inke koi baccha hai, aur na hi tumne inhe chhoda. Even if he had not said anything about that I would have not believed you... No matter what evidence you have. After all mere se behtar kaun jaan sakta hai what an expert you are at fabricating evidences.
Ashutosh divorced you!!! And whatever his reasons were for doing that i know that you must have given himm good reasons to do so. And I say REASONS. Reasons because he is not the kind of man to take that big of a step without having given you multiple chances. And nothing you say will ever convince me otherwise. He was married to you, and irrespective of the fact that you tricked him into the marriage, there is no way he would carry on an affair and have a child with someone else. Moreover he would never abandon his own child. Yeh sab baatein sirf tumhari koshish hai, humein ek doosre se alag karne ki. But let me assure you that you are taxing yourself and what little grey matter that you have up in that huge empty space you call your head, unnecessarily. I promise you however, that you will not succeed in your pathetic endeavors. Na hi main Ashutosh ko kabhi nahin chhodungi, aur na hi yeh mujhse door jayenge. Iss liye apni bakwas apne paas rakkhiye aur yahan se dafaa ho jayiye.
You know you really disgust me. You are a very pathetic individual. Ek baat batao mujhe Dr. Mallika, please, I am really curious ke koi itna neeche kaise gir sakta hai, 9auzbjaise 561 aap. Aapne kabhi socha aap kya thi aur ab kya ho gayi ho. Jo insaan aapko chahta nahin hai, usske peeche iss tarha se padna, uski zindagi mein baar baar interfere karna, uski life ko barbaad karne ki koshish karte rehna... Don't you get tired of this. I hope you realize that only someone who is seriously disturbed could do this. If I were you I would get some help for this obsessive affliction of yours and move on with life. Shaadi toh pataa nahin koi tumse karega ke nahin, because uske liye you need give yourself to someone. Aap toh sirf chheenana jaanti hain, dena kisse kehtein hain aapko toh shayad yeh pataa hi nahin hoga. Anyway, you are still a doctor, why don't you at least put your experience and education to some good use and help people taaki aapko unki duaayein mil sakein. I think that you will need them, because abhi tak toh aapne logon ki bad-duaayein hi li hain. And ab I am really tired so please leave. I have had enough of you...for a life time."
"Are you done? Ok. WOW. I must say hats off to you Nidhi. Tum itni acchi tarha se jhoot bol leti ho mujhe toh pataa hi nahin tha. Waise tum jhoot kab se bolne lag gayi Nidhi? Ashutosh toh kehte thakte nahin the ke how honest his Nidhi was. How she always spoke the truth no matter how painful it was. Woh sab baatein, woh aadarsh...where are they Dr. Nidhi? Huh?"
"Kay matlab aapka?"
"Mera ishara uss jhoot ki taraf hai jo tumne abhi abhi bola, that Ashutosh had already told you everything... Mera matalb uss jhoot se hai. I know you are lying Nidhi! I can recognize when a person is lying. I saw your face when you read the file. Your hands were trembling and your face went as white as a sheet. Main bewakoof nahin hoon. You are just saying all this to save face...both yours and your husband's."
Nidhi was livid, she wanted to wipe the self satisfied smirk off Mallika's face. This woman had made her life hell from the very first time she saw her. She had done everything in her power to keep her and Ashutosh apart and had even gone so far as to make attempts on Nidhi's life, which she had not even told Ashutosh about, and she doubted that Mallika had either.
Nidhi chuckled, causing the smirk to be replaced with a look of uncertainty, which instantly lifted her spirits. Then she said, "What you SAW Mallika, was my disgust, anger and contempt for you coming to the fore with a vengeance. The reason I went pale was because I was furious when I realized that you were once again trying to use lies and deceit to come between Ashutosh and myself. I find that it is beyond my scope of comprehension how you could, being a fairly educated woman and a doctor, how you can stoop so low. You'd think that being a woman you would have some sense of shame, or even a bit of remorse for the pain and suffering that you have given to Ashutosh. A man you once claimed was your best friend. I wonder if you even remember the fact that you are a doctor, and as such that it is your sworn duty to help people, to be compassionate and caring towards them. But you...you are the exact opposite. Why did you go into medicine? I bet you would have made a great lawyer. Jokes apart Mallikaji, I think that you should seriously consider getting some help, or maybe you should go away for a while and meditate. Kahin aisi jagah where there is peace and quiet, without any distractions. Somewhere where you can try and forget the pesky little fact that Ashutosh does not love you, that he never has and never will. Oh and also the trivial fact that he was once your husband. Somewhere you can contemplate on exactly what you have done with your life and where you are heading. Moreover you need to figure out how you can get a life of your own so that you stop trying to constantly steal mine. (she sighed and shrugged her shoulders) But, knowing you I doubt that you will not do any of these things... You are going to keep planning and plotting...
I really pity you Mallikaji, do you know that. Aap dekhiye ke aapne aapne aap ko kahan laa ke khadaa kar liya hai. Kya se kya ban gayi hain...sochiye zara. Do you even have any idea of what you have lost along the way with all of your plotting and planning? I wonder if you realize just how totally alone you are? The two people who were your greatest support are no longer in this world, both yours and Ashutosh's fathers. You have no friends other than Ashutosh, at least that I know of. And even Ashutosh is not your friend any longer. You have totally alienated him from yourself. Aapka career...does that even exist anymore? I don't think so. Actually jis din se maine aapko jaana hai, aapko Ashutosh se obsessed first, and doctor ke roop mein second, dekha hai. Mujhe toh lagta hai ke aap bahut pehele hi yeh baat bhool gayi ke aap doctor hain. So, Mallikaji, exactly what is your career at this point in your life, other than blackmail, threats, and scheming...basically destroying peoples lives. Is that your speciality now. What a turnaround! (she gives a sarcastic smile). Doctor to villain! Movie ban sakti hai, hai naa? Khair...chaliye choddiye yeh sab. Aap nahin samjhengi. Please just leave Mallika, aapki dal yahan nahin galne waali. Kam se kam aaj toh nahin. Aur haan, jaane se pehle bas ek baat aur kehna chahti hoon mai aapse. And Mallikaji please meri yeh baat dhyaan se suniye and don't take what I say idly. Ashutosh mere hain! Paanch saal pehle aapne inhe dhoke se phansaa kar inhe apne saath shaadi karne par majboor kar liya tha. You took him away from me and tried to make him yours, par you couldn't. Yeh jab bhi yeh mere hi the, and you know that. But things have changed, the tables have turned. Ashutosh ab mere pati hain, aapke nahin. Aur yeh zindagi bhar mere hi rahenge. Actually, sirf iss janam mein hi nahin, hamare aane waale saare janamon mein bhi, Ashutosh has always been, and will always belong to me. I hope you will finally accept this and move forward in your life. Lekin somehow mujhe pataa hai ke aap aisa nahin karengi, so go ahead do whatever you can... I really don't care. I can and will, handle whatever you throw my way. Now, I am really tired, so please..."
For once Mallika had no response. She stared at Nidhi her face a picture of disbelief as she looked from Ashutosh to her, and then back again, before storming out of the office.
As soon as the door closed Nidhi sat down, trembling. Then resting her elbows on her desk she covered her face with both hands.
Ashutosh looked at her, both awed and hesitant at the same time. The way she had dealt with Mallika had been awesome, a thing of beauty. It was very rare that someone could shut Mallika up the way she had. But he was scared also. He knew that all that talk in front of Mallika had been false bravado on her part. It must have taken a herculean effort on her part to confront Mallika and make her back down like that, and not betray, by even a bat of an eyelash, that she had been bluffing.
Ashutosh moved closer and hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder.
"Nidhi I..."
Her face came up and she lifted her eyes to his and gently shrugged his hand off her shoulder, cutting him off, "Not now...please Ashutosh. Abhi I don't have the strength to deal with this. I still have a lot of work left that requires both my attention and strength. I need to be able to give a hundred percent of my attention to my patients. I can't afford to think about all of this right now. Hum baad mein baat karenge... Please!"
Ashutosh nodded reluctantly knowing that she was right. Both of them had work to do which required their whole attention, and, he had to give Nidhi some space to digest what she had just learned. But he could not control the huge knot of apprehension that was sitting like a huge lump of lead in the pit of his stomach. He wished that that she would rant, rave, throw stuff, even curse and swear. But he knew that she would not. Not his Nidhi. She would stay quiet and not say a word, preferring to internalize and deal with her problems alone. "Does she even knew how loudly her silence spoke?" He wondered silently, looking at her, wishing he knew what she was thinking. Ashutosh knew that he had no one to blame for this but himself. He had had opportunities to speak to her, but he had kept putting it off. He could also have forced the issue and made her listen... He knew that, though technically correct, the information in the file that Mallika had given Nidhi was not factually correct. The truth was altogether something else. He should have told her, should have tried to explain, should have tried to make her understand his side of things, and get her to believe that he was innocent... But, it was too late, the damage had been done and he did not know if there was a way he could undo it. No, he would just have to deal with the consequences and hope that Nidhi would forgive him once again..
Ashutosh did not know how much of what he was feeling was reflected on his face. So, when he remained silent for several seconds, Nidhi lifted her face to look up at him. In that one instant she understood what was going on in his mind. She also knew that no matter how she was feeling, and regardless of the intense churning turmoil that was going on inside her, she knew that she could not let him let him suffer like this. They could and would deal with this issue...together...later. But for right now...
Ashutosh looked at her down bent head and her rigid posture and sighed. She was right, he knew that. This was neither the time or place for this. He would have to wait till tonight, after Khushi was asleep... Just as he was about to remove his hands from her desk and turn, he felt her hand come to rest on top of his. He was surprised, and startled at the same time. Ashutosh looked down at Nidhi's hand on top of his and his throat clogged up and he had to swallow several times before he could get any words out. His, "I love you...", uttered in a hoarse voice, were the only words he could force out, before his throat clogged up again. And, though Nidhi did not look up, or answer, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. But, that small gesture from her was enough to loosen the constricting band around his heart.
As he walked away Ashutosh could only marvel at the woman whom he had been in love with for the last 6 years, and who was now his wife. He remembered when he had met her first. She had been a lively, mischievous 22 year old, who had been so full of life that he had been able to help himself from responding to her. In the beginning her attitudes towards life and her thinking had annoyed and irritated him, yet, at the same time her dedication towards her profession and her caring and concern for her patients had also moved him. It had taken a while to admit his feelings of love, but in the end he had had no choice and had admitted defeat. That she loved him also had been a humbling realization. And, as he had gotten to know her better, not only had he fallen deeper and deeper in love but he had began to respect her as well. His only and his biggest mistake, had been in misjudging her understanding of Mallika's character. He had thought that she was being immature and jealous, when it was he who had been the blind one. Because of his stupidity, he had not only suffered unimaginably, but he had also made her go through hell also.
In the years of their separation Nidhi had grown up. The young girl he had known and loved was not there anymore. In her stead, now stood a woman who was not only an amazing doctor adored by her patients, she was also a wonderful mother and an amazing human being. And on top of that she was beginning to make a name for herself in the medical community. As a wife, she was all that he had ever wanted, hoped and dreamed of. He had loved her immeasurably before, but now he absolutely adored her. Barring the differences in their age, she was his equal in every respect, but character. Nidhi's strength of character far surpassed his in every respect. Over the past few months she had managed to earn his admiration as well as his respect, not only as a human being and his wife, but also as a colleague. Her magnanimous and forgiving nature was unlike anything he had ever seen before in his life, in anyone.. Her capacity to give and keep on giving was awe inspiring.
Even today, though she herself had been upset and hurt, she had understood what he had been feeling, and she had reached out to him and eased his mind. Ashutosh felt overwhelmed and humbled at her generosity. He doubted that there was another like her in this world and thanked god that she was his. So, with a considerably lighter conscience he sat down at his desk and asked his secretary to send in his first appointment.
Lying down with Khushi on her bed Nidhi once again thought back to all that she had learned from Mallika. Mallika had guessed correctly that she was lying when she said that Ashutosh had told her everything about the past five years. Of course she had lied. But then what else could she have done. There was no way that she would ever let that evil w***h come between her and Ashutosh ever again. Not to mention that it had felt extremely good, and immensely satisfying to see the smirk wiped off of Mallika's face. Nidhi had been waiting a long time to get the opportunity to be able to tell her off. But she had not wanted it to be in the form of a lie. She hated lying, hated having to hide behind lies. But it could not have been helped today. There was no way that she would let Mallika have the satisfaction of seeing the cracks in her marriage. Not that were cracks really. There were more like missing pieces of a puzzle that needed to be found, and put in to place. Their marriage was too new, and their relationship was just beginning again. They were just barely getting over their misunderstandings and pain due to their long separation from each other.
Nidhi looked over and saw that Khushi had fallen asleep, yet she was reluctant to get up and go to her room. She knew that she was delaying. She also knew that Ashutosh was waiting for her. But for once she did not want to talk to him. It's not that she did not know what to say, it was just that she was tired of saying the same thing over and over again. Over the past couple of months since they had gotten married she had been trying in different ways to impress upon him the importance of trust in a marriage. She thought that she had been succeeding, but what had happened today proved how wrong she was. She did not know how make him understand that she was his wife and that they were together for life. They were one. But by themselves these were just words. It was meaning of these words that Ashutosh had no concept of. Why didn't he understand that no matter what he could come and talk to her, she thought sadly. He could say anything to her and tell her anything, and she would understand. Granted she might not always like what she heard, or he might not always like her reactions to it, but at the end of the day thats all they would be. JUST REACTIONS. That these reactions, whether good or bad had nothing to do with them. Reactions were transient, they did not last. Nothing could come between them unless they permitted it. Nidhi sighed. She knew that he did not mean to keep things from her, or lie to her. He did all this because he was afraid to loose her. And that was what hurt her the most. Why could he not trust he? Why couldn't he believe in her and her love? He had done the same thing five years ago, only then there was nothing that she could have done about it. But now, now things were different. Now it was in her power to show him how wrong he was. It just that she was getting tired of proving her love over and over again.
As she slowly opened the door to their room she saw that she had been right. Ashutosh was waiting for her. But not in the room as she had first thought. Ashutosh was sitting on one of the chairs out on the terrace. As she walked out onto the terrace, her heart went out to him. He looked so lonely sitting out there all by himself looking out into the night, and there was an air of sadness surrounding him. She went out to him and hesitatingly touched his shoulder gently. The look on his face and his eyes as he turned to look up at her nearly broke her heart.
"Nidhi..." he whispered brokenly.
Nidhi looked at him helplessly,"Ashutosh..."
They said each others name almost in unison, then wordlessly Ashutosh grabbed her by the waist and putting his arms tightly around her, he buried his face against her chest. Nidhi slowly brought her arms around him and ran her fingers gently through his hair, as she rested her own head atop his. They stood there like that for several long minutes before slowly, reluctantly drawing away, Ashutosh lifted his to look into her eyes.
Nidhi sighed, and untangled herself from his arms, before stepping back a couple of steps.
Nidhi sighed, and untangled herself from his arms
He looked at her helplessly, his eyes pleading, "Nidhi... I am sorry..."
She looked at him straight in the eye," Kiss baat ke liye Ashutosh?"
He looked at her, his expression puzzled. " KIss Baat ke liye? Nidhi aaj dopeher mein jno hua usske liye. Mallika ne jo tumhe bataya usske liye. I know how much that must have hurt you. Nidhi mai..."
"Ek Minute please Ashuji." she cut him off. "I want to make sure we are on the same page here. So please clarify just what part of what happened today are you apologizing for. There were a a lot of facets to what happened today. I just want to know which facet you are referring to through your apology."
Once again Ashutosh was puzzled. "Nidhi I don't know what you are talking about. I am trying to apologize about what you found out today. And also the fact that you had to find out like that, and from Mallika. I am apologizing your not hearing about the whole sordid thing from me first. I am really sorry for that."
Nidhi shook her head regretfully. "You still don't understand, do you? There are so many things about what happened today that you do not understand. The contents of the file are only a small part of it. There are bigger issues here, other than that one. Yes what I found out was worrisome, but not in the way you think. But I will get back to that topic in a little bit. The bigger issues that I am talking about have nothing to do with the fact that Mallika came to my office and tried to tell me that you had an affair and have a child as the result of it, or that you have abandoned the child. No that is not the issue. And you are correct the fact that you were not the one to tell me this yourself did hurt me. But that is also just one part of it. And, what makes me really sad, and what bothers me more than that is the fact that you did not want to tell me. You were reluctant, you kept putting it off. You were afraid of my reactions. And THAT is what hurt me the most.
Nidhi looked at him, there was a world of hurt in her eyes, and when the first of her tears started rolling down her cheeks, Ashutosh could not help himself. He immediately got up and went to take her in his arms. But at the last moment Nidhi brought her hand up and stopped him. Then folding her arms across her chest, she turned her back to him looking hp at the sky, and started speaking.
" Nahin Ashutosh please don't. Please just stay where you are for a while. I don't think that I can stand to have you holding me right now."
The pain her words caused nearly brought him to his knees.
"Nidhi...Nidhi... Just what are you saying? Nidhi please don't...
Please don't go away..."
"THAT"S IT!!!!!"
Her voice, loud and full of anger, startled him, cutting of his sentence.
"Nidhi?" He said again, this time with caution, but again with puzzlement.
Nidhi turned around again.
"That is the whole problem Ashutosh. This uncertainly of yours. This thing you have inside you that stops you from trusting in me, believing in me."
"Nidhi how can you say that? If there is anything or anyone I believe in or trust in, in this world it's you. Mai toh shayad khud par bhi itna believe nahin karta jitna tumpe."
She turned around to face him, smiling sadly. "If only I could believe that Ashutosh. If only... You see each and every action of yours belies that. Ashutosh yeh baat ke aapke ek najaayaz baccha hai, that does not bother me as much as that you could not make yourself come to me with that bit of information. I know what you thought. You thought that I would leave you, that you would loose me. Right? That's the whole thing isn't it?"
"I am sorry for not telling you Nidhi. Lekin mai dar gaya tha. Tumko itni mushkil se dobara paya hai. Tum mujhse door ho jao, yeh baat sochke hi meri rooh kaamp uthti hai."
"Ashutosh Jo cheez aapne kabhi khoyi hi nahin thi usse aap dobara kaise paa saktein hain.. And phir se khone ka prashn is redundant. Haven't you learned by now that you never really lost me. The only way you could ever loose me is if I stopped loving you. Aur woh toh aapko pata hai ki iss janam mein kabhi nahin ho sakta. The fact that I did not let anyone into my life, the fact that I waited, the fact that I forgave you for marrying Mallika, the fact that I forgave you for trusting her word against mine, and the fact that I forgave you for ignoring me and leaving me all alone and not once bothering to find out whether I was alive or dead...all these facts Ashutosh, and my total forgiveness for all of it... Does that not prove my commitment to you, my love for you? Does all of this not show you what you mean to me, or that I am yours completely, wholly, absolutely, without any reservations or any conditions? Mai kiss tarha se aapko apne pyaar ka yakeen dilaoon Ashutosh? Kiss tarha se aapko apne vishwas ka yakeen dilaaoon?"
Ashutosh was stunned. He had not even thought of things in that light.
"Nidhi...tum...tum kya..." He stammered not knowing the right words with which to express himself.
"Ashutosh aapko yaad hai na paanch saal pehele bhi maine Mallika ki baaton ka vishwas nahin kiya tha. Aap woh bhool gaye shayad. Aap bhool gaye kaise mai gidgidake aapko kehti rahi ke Mallika jhoot bol rahi hai. Aaap bhool gaye mere uss vishwas ko. Mujhe aap par jab vishwas tha, jnab aapko khud apne aap par nahin tha. Aap bhool gaye maine aapse jo kaha tha... Maine aapse kaha tha na ke mai chahe aapse kitni bhi door rahoon, chahe kitni bhi naraz ho jaoon, lekin mera pyaar aur vishwaas ek pal ke liye bhi kam nahin ho sakte. Maine aapse yeh bhi kaha tha, ke chahe kuch bhi ho jaye, kuch bhi...main aapse door kabhi nahin jaoongi, kabhin aapko akela nahin chhodungi. Ashutosh maine aapse yeh sab baatein paanch saal peheli bhi kahin thi, aur ab, jabse hum phir se ek hue hai tab se phir keh rahi hoon ye hi baat. Pataa nahin aap kab meri iss baat ko sunenge, pataa nahin mere upar kab vishwas karenge.
Ashutosh pyaar conditions par nahin hota. Pyaar to bas pyaar hota hai. Yah toh hota hai, ya nahin. Maine aapse pyaar kiya hai. Aaapki har acchaai har burai se pyaar kiya hai. I know you. Mai aapko jaanti hoon Ashutosh. Shayad aapse behetar aapko main jaanti hoon. Mujhe pataa hai ke aap kya hai. Mujhe pataa hai aap kya kar sakte hain aur kya nahin. (She sighed and sat down tiredly on the chair next to her) Ashutosh jaise maine pehele Mallika ko believe nahin kiya tha, aaj bhi nahin kiya. You are not capable of cheating on your wife. But then because this is Mallika we are talking about I am not going to presume on that fact. For arguments sake lets say you did. And I don't have any problems with that, if you did I am sure you had good reason too. I only KNOW that you could never do that to me.. Anyway, kehetein hai ke aapke kissi aur aurat ke saath koi relation the...yeh main accept karne ko tayyar hoon. Lekin...LEKIN yeh main kabhi nahin maan sakti ke aap kabhi bhi kissi bacche ko abandon kar saktein hain, specially your own, chahe aap uski maa se pyaar karte ho ya nahin. I know that you could never have made such a cold blooded arrangement for your own child. No. No Ashutosh, that is not you. You could no more abandon your own child as you could stop breathing. Agar galati se aapka Mallika ke saath bhi koi baccha hota toh main ye yakeen se keh sakti hoon ke aap naa toh uss bacche ko chhodte, nah hi Mallika ko...chahe ussne kuch bhi kiya hota. Mujhe aap par itna bharosa hai.
Had you believed in me and my love you could have told me all of this with the surety that I would not have believed any of it. Yet you did not. And that is where we differ. Whereas I know you love love me, and I believe in that love and have complete faith and trust in you, you do not. You do not believe in me, or my love.
What does that say about me, Ashutosh? Hunh? Iss se toh ye hi zahir hota hai na, ke shayad mere mein ya mere pyaar mein hi koi kami thi aur aaj bhi hai jo aapko har kadam par mere upar shaq hota hai. And that Ashutosh...(she swallows the lump in her throat) that is what hurts the most. It hurts that you would think that I could ever leave you. Koi bhi baat ho aapka sab se pehela reaction ye hi hota hai ke kahin Nidhi mujhe chhod na de. You think I am that fickle? Aapko lagta hai ke hamara rishta itna kamzor hai ke zara sa hawa ka jhonka isko tod sakta hai? Agar yeh baat hai toh Ashuji how will we bear the bigger storms and hurricanes that are as yet to come into our lives. And if that is so, then why are we even trying?
Koi bhi rishta, jis mein saccha pyaar aur vishwaas ho woh itna kamzor nahin ho sakta Ashutosh. It should be strong enough to weather any and all storms. I thought mere aur aapka rishta bhi aisa hoga. I don't know where I went wrong. But, it causes me unbearable pain to think of you suffering because my love for you is not enough to take away your doubts or fears. It hurts Ashutosh that you are so close, yet still so far away that I might never be able to really "have" you. Main thak gayi hoon Ashutosh... Mujhe nahin pataa ke main aur kiss tarha se aapko apne pyaar par vishwas dilaaoon. Kaise aapko yakeen karaaoon ke main aapki hoon, and aapki hi rahoongi. Main aapke saath hoon, har sukh mein har dukh mein, aapki dhakan ki tarha. Zindagi ki har dhoop chaaon mein main aapka saaya hoon. Main kaise yakeen karaoon ke main har mushkil mein aapka saath doongi, aapke har gham ko aapke saath baraabar baantungi, aapki humsafar banke. Ashutosh aankh band kar aapke peeche peeche chalungi aap chahe mujhe jahan le jay, aapki parchai banke. Zindagi ke har mausam mein mein aapke saath rahungi aapki humkadam banke. Aapki ardhangini hoon, aapke upar aayi har museebat ko apne upar lungi. Sirf maut humko alag kar sakti hai Ashutosh aur kuch nahin. Aaphi bataiye main aisa kya karoon, aisa kya kahoon jiss se aapko finally meri baaton ke upar yakeen ho sake."
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Ashutosh stood as still as a statue, trying to absorb her words and her pain. But before he could react, she started speaking again.
"Ashutosh I love you...more than I can ever say. And, for whatever its worth, I know woh baccha aapka nahin ho sakta...I know that there is another story behind the one Mallika is telling. So, you don't need to worry about me believing her. I never would have anyway. And aapko mujhe kuch bhi bataane ki zaroorat nahin hai. No explanations are needed."
And with those final words she turned around and left the room. Ashutosh's felt the earth shift beneath his feet as he realized exactly how much pain he had caused her in the past and was still causing her. Nidhi was right, he had not trusted her. Oh he had said the words alright, but his actions had not followed suit. The only thing she was mistaken about was, that it was not her or her love he had ever doubted it was his luck that he had not believed in. Ashutosh ko apni kismat par vishwas nahin tha. Usse aaj tak yeh samaj nahin aa sakaa tha ke Nidhi jaisi ladki, jisse koi bhi acche se accha ladka, uski age ka, mil sakta tha, ussne Ashutosh ko kyon apne liye chunna. He knew she loved him, she had proved it time and time again to him in a thousand different ways. He was so ashamed of himself. Ussne kabhi Nidhi aur uski feelings ke baarre mein to socha hi nahin. Kabhi yeh nahin socha ke what his fears and doubts would do to her. He had always been afraid that somehow she would see that he was not the man she thought he was. He had been so caught up in his own foibles that he had not seen that the very thing he was trying to protect her from was the thing that was causing her pain. No more! He would show her that he did trust her, and would make sure that his words were backed up by his actions as well. She was right in saying that if he doubted her at every turn then their relationship did not have much of a chance.
Ashutosh looked up and saw that Nidhi had changed and was lying down on their bed. She had her back to him and but he knew that she was awake. After latching the doors to the terrace he walked to their bed. Sliding quietly in beside her he reached out and pulled her into his arms. Nidhi stiffened up but made no move to extricate herself from his embrace. Ashutosh knew she was hurting, and he knew that he was the only one that could take away the hurt. He leaned over to gently kiss her cheek then buried his face in the crook of her shoulder.
"Tum kya ho Nidhi, kiss mitti ki bani ho tum. Main tumhe itna hurt karta hoon...baar baar hurt karta hoon, kabhi jaan boojh kar kabhi anjaane mein... Tum phir bhi mujhse pyaar karti ho. Kyon? Kyon give up nahin karti? Kyon? Kyon aise insaan ke saath rehti ho jo tumhari kaddar karna nahin jaanta, jissne tumhe aaj tak dukhon ke siva kuch bhi nahin diya hai? I don't deserve you Sweetheart. Pataa nahin maine aisa kya kiya jo bhagwaan ne tumhe mujhe diya. Par main tumhe aaj promise karta hoon ke aaj ke baad tumhe kabhi bhi meri kissi baat se ya mere kissi bhi action se, apne upar yah hamare rishte ke upar, kabhi koi doubt nahin hoga. Kabhi meri taraf se koi shikayat nahin hogi. Jaan kami kabhi bhi tum mein ya tumhare pyaar mein nahin thi. Yeh kami...actually kami nahin kamzori hai, yeh kamzori meri thi. Tumhare upar, ya tumhare pyar par toh mujhe kabhi bhi doubt nahin tha. Apni kismat par tha. Mujhe aaj tak bhi yeh baat nahin samajh mein nahin aati ke tumko mujh mein aisa kya dikhta hai jo tum mujh se itna pyaar karti ho. Tumhe koi bhi mil sakta tha, phir main kyon. Not only our ages but our personalities also... Nidhi Mujhe meri kismat par doubts the, aur hain, tum par nahin. I just feel ke kismat mujhpe itni meherbaan kaise hui, and that too not once but twice... Itne dhokhe khaa chukaa tha, un logon se jinhe apna maanta tha, ke bas yeh bhool hi gaya ke tum un jaisi nahin ho. Yeh bhool gaya tha ke jab se tum meri zindagi mein aayi ho tumne apne se zyada mere baare mein socha, apne se zyada meri zarooraton ka meri khwahishon ka apni zarooraton aur apni chahaton se upar maana. Jo mujhe accha laaga woh kiya. Main bhool gaya tha... And I got so selfishly wrapped up in the worry that my luck would run out and somehow you would disappear out of my life as quickly as you came into it ke maine tumhari taraf se socha hi nahin. I am so sorry Jaan. I know ke baar baar maafi mangta hoon and baar baarr tumhe dukh deta hoon, par Nidhi main tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon. Tumhare bina apni zindagi ki kalpana bhi nahin kar sakta... Kya tum ek baar aur maaf kar sakti ho apne iss selfish pati ko?"
She was quiet for so long that Ashutosh feared that he had hurt her one too many times, and that this had been the final straw. But then suddenly her body relaxed and letting out a deep breath Nidhi turned over towards him and buried her face against his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist.
"Aapko maafi maangne ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Mere aur aapke beech apologies and thank yous ki koi jagah nahin hai. Ashutosh mujhe zindagi mein sirf aap chahiye, aur kuch nahin. Aapka saath, pyaar aur vishwas, iss se bad kar mere liye kuch nahin. Duniya ki saari daulat bhi inn cheezon ke saamne koi maiyne nahinn rakkhti meri nazaron mein. Par jab bhi aap mere taraf se koi bhi doubts rakkhtien hain I die a little inside. And please I don't ever want to hear how I could have had anyone else instead of you. I have never wanted anyone else. Jiss pal aapko peheli baar dekha something just clicked into place, and I felt at peace within myself. I could not figure out what is was until I realized it was you, and that I loved you. Yeh sahi hai ke aapne mujhe bahut hurt kiya hai, par yeh bhi sach hai ke aapne jitni khushiyaan di hain, jitna pyaar diya hai, mere liye woh un saare hurts se kahin zyaada matlab rakkhtein hain. Aaphi bataiye, koi bhi mujhe kabhi itna pyaar kar sakta tha jitna aap karte hain? Ashutosh aapki nazarein jab bhi mere upar padti hain chahe ek pal ke liye hi kyon nahin, uss ek pal ki nazar mein itna pyaar bharaa hua hota hai kissi shayad poori zindagi mein bhi kabhi naseeb nahin hota hoga. Ab aap hi mujhe bataiye why would I think of anyone else. Aise pyaar ki toh log sirf kalpana kar saktein hain, aur kitne hi log poori zindagi taraste reh jaate hainke koi unse pyaar kare. Ashuji I am so lucky to have you in my life, in fact you are my life. Please stop thinking that I will leave you. I can't, it is as simple as that. And please iss baat ka vishwas kariye ke chahe jo bhi ho, I will be by your side always. Jo bhi problems aayengi we will deal with them together. I will always believe in you. I love you."
Ashutosh held her tightly against his heart,"Nidhi you humble me. And I really do not deserve such blind faith and love. But..." He said a bit loudly seeing her about to protest, " BUT, I am glad that I have it, and you. And from now on I will never question that. I promise that I will just be happy and count my blessings. Yes?"
She smiled up at him, bringing back the sunshine into his life,"Yes!"
"Nidhi Thank you for not believing Mallika. You are right, the child is not mine. Nidhi...I want tell you what the truth really is."
Nidhi put her fingers on his lips," Ashutosh maine kahaa na ke isski koi zaroorat nahin hai. I believe you."
"Haan I know that you believe in me, lekin jaan you need to know. To be able to deal with Mallika you need to know. And this is only the ip of the iceberg. Basically this was the last straw in a whole line of straws, that broke the camels back. Inn paanch saalon mein ussne kya kya kiya, kya kya plots and scheming kari to try and win me over, I don't think that I could ever begin to tell you. I wouldn't even know where to start. Suffice to say that each and every day was a living hell. Fate paid me back in spades for hurting you the way I did. And I put up with all of it. I felt that I deserved it for treating you that way I did. I went on with life and tried to ignore her as best as I could, until this. This was the limit. You need to know Nidhi, so you can understand and realize exactly what you are up against."
Nidhi leaned over and kissed his forehead,"Theek hai. Agar aapko lagta hai ke mujhe pataa hona chahiye toh I will listen. And Ashutosh...I already know what we are up against. Aap bhool gaye ke I had a good dose of her schemes during my internship. Maine bhi aapko saari baatein nahin batai ke Mallika ne mere saath kya kya kiya. Kabhi bataungi aapko. Anyway aap boliye, kya bataana chahtein hain mujhe."
"First of all yeh jo tumne abhi abhi yeh teer jo chhoda hai na, ke you never told me what all Mallika did to you, I will not let that go. Mujhe pataa hai ke for you to hide something from me it must have been a doozie. So you will have to tell me. And woh bhi "Kabhi" nahin, "Abhi". But pehele I need you to hear my story.
Nidhi, I know that hindsight is always 20/20, but, you were right all along. Even though I grew up with her, you knew the real Mallika...much better than I ever did. I never saw her for what she really was. Over the course of our marriage she tried numerous times to seduce me. It was pathetic. You wouldn't believe half the things she did. Some of them were so embarrassing ke bas... even though tum meri biwi ho, and hamare beech koi parda nahin hai, phir bhi...Nidhi...the things she tried to pull...main tumhe bataa bhi nahin sakta. Tumhe jitni sunane mein sharm aayegi, mujhe shayad uss se kahin zyada tumhe bataane mein aayegi. So, anyway, I don't know how she got this cockamamie idea that she could blackmail me using the same tactic that she had used to get me to marry her, only this time she got another woman into the mix. This was about a year before our divorce, there was this week long international neurosurgical conference that I was invited to attend, as a guest speaker, in paris. The invitation included the spouse, or significant other. Mallika wanted to come, but I refused point blank, and I was adamant that I would not take her. Eventually she gave in, and she even seemed fine with it. I should have realized then that it had been too easy. I should have suspected ke she would be hatching up something... Anyway I think it was on the second or third night of the conference, and this woman came up and introduced herself to me. Sher said that she was an assistant to one of the doctors and as he was busy preparing his lecture she was at loose ends. She began with light flirtation, but she made it very obvious what she was offering. To be truthful I was tempted. I mean she was pretty enough and at at any other time I might have thought about it. Par uss samay I was there on business, so I politely said thank you, but no thank you, and that I was not interested. But, she was pretty persistant, she kept coming back every evening...she was very subtle at first so I did not catch on immediately, but she became aggressive, and then she just kept showing up everywhere I went. One of my colleagues laughingly remarked that he would have to call and tell my wife that she needed to come and put a stake her claim, 'cause it seemed that her husband was about to stray. I got a bit angry and he apologized, but not before telling me that had it been him she was after, he would have jumped at the first come on. I remember him telling me how it was ususally the other way around, and that men bid for her attention. After all it was not everyday that a guy had the most sought after call girl, in the city, coming on to him. And though I shrugged it off in front of him as if I didn't care, I began to have doubts. I wanted to know that of all the doctors there, why woh mere peeche padi thi. I mean some of them were names much much bigger than mine, and also more rich. Par phir bhi I did not connect her to Mallika. But Nidhi no matter how careful I thought I was, I was not careful enough. Because like the fool that I am I managed to get drugged again. I vaguely recall starting to feel odd and then a strange buzzing started in my ear. I realized immediately that there was something was wrong and I needed to get out of there, but I was not quick enough. Maine uss din subha se kuch khaya nahin tha, and the drug works a lot faster on an empty stomach, you know that. But kahin na kahin somebody was looking out for me. I got lucky and one of my friends saw me stumble trying to get out of the room. I was so out of it that I could not even give him my room number. He knew that something was wrong, he had never seen me like this ever before, so took me up to his room. And that is where I woke up, alone.
So, after I woke up, we talked for a while and I told him that I had been drugged. There was no other explanation for my state. He asked if I knew who was responsible. But i told him that I had no idea kab, kisne, aur kyon, mere drink ko spike kiya. Afterwards I went to my room and freshened up. And when I could start thinking clearly I tried to retrace my steps for the previous evening, and that was when I it figured out ke kahin na kahin Mallika had something to do with it. So I made some inquiries and finally managed to find out who the girl was, and her address. I still shudder when I remember the smirk on the hotel managers face as he handed me the piece of paper that had her handler's name and address..."
After that Ashutosh was quiet for several seconds. Nidhi assumed that he must be thinking back to his time in London with Mallika, so all she did was tighten her arms around him, trying to reassure him with her presence. She suddenly shuddered. She not say why, but suddenly she was having a bad feeling...
Meanwhile, Nidhi's shudder had snapped Ashutosh back to the present, he hugged her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"What happened Sweetheart."
She shook her head and lifted herself up so that her arms were on his chest. And smiled into his eyes, she combed the fingers of one hand through his soft thick hair, then gave him a gentle lingering kiss on his lips.
"Kuch nahin. It's just... I don't know... I just had a case of the heebie-jeebies."
"Matlab?"
"Just someone walking over my grave."
"Nidhi kaunsi language bol rahi ho? I cannot understand a word."
Nidhi chuckled and settled down with her head resting on his chest, once again.
"I was just having fun with you. Sorry. But, inn dono idioms ka ek hi meaning hai. (her face and voice suddenly turned serious) Matlab I just had a feeling ke kuch hone wala hai. Something bad... Pataa nahin kya. But, Ashutosh I am scared. Yeh jab bhi Mallika hamari zindagi mein aati hai kuch na kuch disastrous hota hai. Ashu main...I don't..."
Ashutosh held her tightly,"Shhh. Its ok. Main hoon na tumhare paas. Mk kuch nahin kar payegi. Aur agar koshish bhi kari to we will face her together. Jo bhi hoga Jaan, mil kar uska samna karenge. Hmm?"
She nodded,"Yes. I know. But... Yeh sab baad mein, pehele aap apni baat to poori kijiye."
"Haan(he sighed). Anyway, jab mein uske apartment building par pahuncha, toh I was met by her handler. Woh building ke bahar khada mera intezar kar raha tha. I think someone must have tipped them off that I was coming. Mujhe uss se milna toh door, uski building mein kadam bhi nahin rakkhne diya. Maine paise bhi offer kiye, par woh nahin maana, and mujhe wapas aana pada. I came home and confronted Mallika. Of course she denied any knowledge... Khair I just pushed it to the back of my mind and forgot about the whole thing, and as you know things with Mallika just kept on going downhill. Then one fine day I get served with a paternity suit by that woman. Nidhi I was determined to fight it. I knew that the child wasn't mine. I wanted a DNA match, but uss samay tak media had started to get wind of the scandal. And tumhe toh pataa hai because of my work and the fact that I had money made me more news worthy. So, mere lawyer ne mujhe advise kiya ke unless I was prepared to go the whole nine yards I should settle out of court. He said ke the woman was determined to get what she could out of me, and a paternity test would only create more of a sensation.
Basically whether the child was mine or not the damage to my reputation would have been irreparable and the hospital board was also on my case to get the case wrapped up. So I agreed with the condition that should anything leak to the press I would definitely get the DNA testing done. And if the test proved that the child was not mine, which we both knew it would, she would have to not only give back whatever she got from me, but I would also sue for a wrongful suit and defamation of character, plus mental anguish. Anyway she got the message because she paled at that and I knew that mera shaq sahi tha. But I was helpless. I had no proof.
Anyway, to make a long story short, the day before I had to sign the papers I was told that her handler had had an accident. He was not expected to make it, but before he died he wanted to see me. I didn't want to go but curiosity got the better of me. When I got there the girl was also with him and so was the baby. He told me that he was about to die, and that he did not want to leave the world with his only child carrying the name of another man. He confessed everything, how he had been approached by Mallika. How she had wanted the girl to seduce me and get pregnant. And as you know that part of it failed, but I guess that Mallika's luck was working for her because the girl did get pregnant, only the child was not mine. Then you know the rest. Mallika convinced them to go ahead and claim the baby as mine, etc... She was banking on the fact that I would be forced to settle out of court. I guess she had not planned for the guy to have an accident and confess not only his crimes but hers also. When I left the hospital I called my lawyer and told him everything. He was relieved and said that he would come over and get the staff's signatures on an affidavit and submit it to the courts.
He called me later and told me that he he had filed the papers and the that there was nothing to worry about, and the whole thing would be cleared up soon. But, I had another matter on my hands that also needed my attention. Mallika!!!! I had had enough. Meri patience and sehensheetlta ki limit ho chuki thi. I had taken all the nonsense I could. I wanted her out of my life. I moved out of the house and filed for divorce. Lekin jis din se maine tumhe chhoda tha uss din se jab tak tum meri zindagi mein wapas nahin aayi, us din tak, lagta hai ke meri kismat bhi mere against ho gayi thi. Basically jo majboori paternity lawsuit mein thi woh yahan par bhi laaghoo hoti thi. The prospect of a public scandal was, once again, not an option. And, as Mallika was aware of the fact, I knew that there was no way she would spare me. Other the other hand, she knew that she did not have a choice about the divorce, she had to give me one. She realized that with her latest escape she had used up used up all her favors. I could and would have her arrested, I had been very clear on that point. So she knew ke usse divorce papers par toh usse sign karna hi padega. Mallika said that she knew that I would end up getting my divorce in the end because of the evidence I had against her so she did not have any choice. But, she also said unless I agreed to her one condition, she would make sure the whole proceeding would be a huge media circus.
My lawyer offered her a huge settlement, but she refused it, saying that she did not want my money, she had plenty of her own. She said that she knew that money did not mean anything to me, so did not want my money. She said all she wanted was that the papers should say that it was she who filed the papers, not me. That she wanted it on record that she was the one who wanted the divorce. At that point I just wanted to be done with her, so I agreed..."
When my lawyer called to tell me that he was trying to expedite the dismissal of the suit, and to not let it worry me because he had things in control and I would be cleared of all charges. But, Nidhi I could not get the picture of girl sobbing her heart out, clutching the baby to her chest, out of my mind. She apparently she had really loved the sorry b*****d, even though he had been pimping her out since she had been a teenager. Nidhi she looked so pathetic, and so young... I don't know it just got to me, I felt really sorry for her. So, I called my lawyer and told him to go ahead and let her have the money. I mean it was only money after all and I had had plenty of it.
Ashutosh's voice trailed off as he finished telling his side of the story. He waited for Nidhi to say something in reaction to what he had just told her. It was several seconds before she said anything.
"Main jaanti toh thi ke Mallika is devious and schemeing, par iss hadh tak... Aisa lagta hai ke she is a certified psycho. I thought ke she was working over there, nahin?"
"She had a hospital based practice. In fact uska schedule was quite busy. And the patients were happy with her."
" Toh phir inn sab phaltu ki cheezon ke liye, and all these elaborate schemes, inn sab ke liye uske paas time kahan se aaya. It just makes me dizzy thinking that kissi ka mind itna evil kaise ho sakta hai. Khair, this is Mallika we are talking about. I guess I should learn not to be surprised at anything she does. But Ashutosh aapse ek baat poochni thi..."
Nidhi hesitated not knowing how to ask what she was about to.
"Nidhi ismein sochne ki kya baat hai. Tum mujhse kuch bhi pooch sakti ho. You know that. I promised na, abhi thodi der pehle ke hamare beech koi parda nahin hoga. Poocho, jo bhi baat hai I will answer honestly."
"Ok. Woh aapne kaha ke you were tempted to...to...with that girl... Toh kya aapne uss se pehele bhi..."
Ashutosh drew back a bit and turned on his side so that he was facing her.
"Nidhi I need you to look at me please. I also need you to listen to me with an open mind, and, try to understand. Hmm?"
She looked at him and bit her lip, then nodded hesitatingly.
Ashutosh kissed her forehead.
"Nidhi I was separated from you, with no hope of ever getting you back. I had nothing to live for. My marriage was a sham, I hated my wife. Meri aur Baba ki relationship bhi itni strained ho gayi thi ke we were more like strangers then father and son. Tumhe toh pataa hoga ke jab he passed away main unke paas nahin tha. But thats another matter. Nidhi mere paas kych nahin tha kaam ke siva. Agar mujhe pataa hota ke tum mujhe milogi toh I swear no power on earth could have made me look at another woman, much less tempted me. But, I didn't know. And Sweetheart I am a normal adult male, with a normal adult male's urges. So yes I did have brief liaisons with other women, and Mallika knew about it. I never hid it from her. Nidhi, i don't know how to tell you this... Honey not every woman is like you. In fact, I think that you are a rare breed, one of a kind. You waited for me. Koi bhi aur hoti tumhari jagah toh woh kab ki apni zinndagi mein aage bad chuki hoti. But not you my love. No, you waited for me, kept yourself for me. Nidhi...Mallika...Mallika had affairs on the side too. She thought that if she did that, that somehow I would feel jealous. But I did not care. Maine kaha na she did everything she could... I am not proud of what I did Nidhi, but I am not ashamed either. Please jaan, try and understand what my life was like, mai aur kya karta. I could not even stand to look at Mallika much less touch her."
When Ashutosh looked up at her, he saw tears running down her cheeks.
"Nidhi, yeh kya? Please mat ro. God... I am so hopeless, jop bhi karoon I end up hurting you. I am so sorry jaan. Believe me if I could I would go back and erase all those women. They meant nothing to me Nidhi. Tumhare siva mujhe zindagi se kuch aur nahin chahiye tha, and you had been snatched cruelly away... I was retaliating. Rebelling against the cruelty of fate. Nidhi, I ..."
Nidhi stopped him before he could continue with his self recriminations by putting her hand on his mouth. She shook her head vehemently and wiped the tears from her eyes,"No. No Jaan, aap misunderstand kar rahein hain. I was not crying because of that. Yeh baat theek hai ke I don't like the thought of you with another woman, but I understand. Of course, I cannot know what your life was like, but I can imagine aap kitne lonely the. Yeh aapke liye hain. I am crying because you suffered so much. Ashutosh main sochti thi ke jitna maine suffer kiya aapko uska andaza kabhi nahin ho sakta. Par sach toh yeh hai, ke jo aapne bear kiya, uske samne toh I had a walk in the park. Ashutosh I was surrounded by people who loved me and cared for me. Then Khushi came into my life and filled it with joy. Aap...aap toh bilkul akele the. I am so sorry. So sorry you had to go through all that. I understand you so much better now. I understand why you are so hesitant to tell me, why you are so afraid I won't understand. But jaan meri, I do. Aapke saath bahut galat kiya aapke apnon ne, iss liye you have a tough time believing that things have changed now. But Jaan, they have. Now, you have someone who loves you immensely, someone who adores you and worships the ground you walk on. Ashutosh I believe in you, and I know what kind of a man you are. You have no need to be afraid anymore. Aap mujhe se kuch bhi, kabhi bhi keh sakte hai, without fear of loosing me. Mai kahin nahin jaa rahi, aur na hi aapko jaane doongi. You are my man, my husband. Mallika and uske jaise log kuch bhi kar lein it doesn't matter. Hum saath hain aur hamesha raheinge. Samjhe aap."
Ashutosh closed his eyes in relief, squeezing the moisture from his eyes making a stray tear run down his cheek. Nidhi leaned in and kissed his closed eyelids and wiped the tear by rubbing her cheek against his.
"I love you. Vey much"
"I know. Believe me, I know, and I am beginning to realize just how much. Nidhi Mujhe nahin pataa what I have done to suddenly deserve so much happiness, but jo bhi hai I thank God for it. I love you too."
"Ok. Toh issi baat par promise me, that you will try and forget about the past, and try to live in the present, and look forward to the future. Aap bas hamare baare mein and hamari family ke baare mein sochiye. Rest is all unimportant. Theek hai?"
"I promise. I will think of the present and the future, not the past."
"Good. Ab I think ke aaj ke liye bahut tensions ho gayi, and I know that you must be tired, and I have no doubt you did not get any sleep last night. Isliye ab aap idhar aayiye mere paas. Roz aap mujhe hold kartein hain, aaj main aapko hold karoongi apne dil ke paas. I want you to sleep."
Ashutosh chuckled,"That sounds like heaven. To hold you, to be held by you is all I have ever wanted or needed. But Nidhi I need something else first, more than I need sleep. I need you..."
"I need you too. Par bahut der ho chuki hai. Kal subha kaam par bhi jaana hai, its a full day. That and then we have a tiny daughter that requires her father's undivided attention. All that requires a lot of energy, jiske liye sona and rest karna zaroori hota hai. Main kahin bhaagi thodi hi jaa rahin hoon."
"I know that. But Sweetheart you are asking a man who is starving to stay hungry when there is feast lying right in front of him."
"Ashutosh you are priceless. (she chuckled) main aapka kya karoon? You are impossible. So now I am a feast hunh? Ok then since you put it so nicely, who am I to refuse a starving man."
Right before he lowered himself onto her, Nidhi saw that the tense haunted look had disappeared from his eyes leaving them clear and happy. As she felt his lips touch hers, she sent her own prayer of thanks, and asked God to help her make sure that her love stayed strong and was enough to keep away all his demons. He had suffered enough.
Nidhi gave herself up to him and wound her arms tightly around his neck kiss him back with all her love and passion and Ashutosh responded to it with an aggressiveness that excited and thrilled her, and made her entire body tingle from head to toe. His kisses and his touch reduced her to a mindless state. And her soft cries made him become more and more un-inhibited. She cried out loud as a hot molten lava of ecstasy spread through her body in wave after wave. The fact that Ashutosh shuddered in satisfaction right alongside her gave a sense of peace and completion
.
As they both slowly came down to earth Ashutosh slid off of her and put his arms around her, still breathing a bit heavily. It was a while before either of them could speak, both content in the after delicious lethargy overtaking them in the aftermath of their lovemaking.
"Aaj aapko kya ho gaya tha. You have never been this aggressive before."
Ashutosh raised himself and looked at her, his face and voice full of concern,"Did I hurt you Jaan?
Was I too rough? I am...?"
She laughed,"Arre baba ek minute mujhe meri baat khatm karne ka mauka toh dijiye. Aur maine kab kaha aapne mujhe hurt kiya? Huh? All I was saying is that today it was different. You were aggressive yes, but not hurtful. In face I enjoyed it. Mujhe nahin pataa tha ke it coukld be so intense. My slightest touch, and even my softest sigh just seemed to excite you further. There was desperation in your touch, yet a strange elation also. I don't think I can explain properly. But jo bhi tha it made me feel loved and cherished."
"That's because you are loved and cherished. And all those things that you felt in our lovemaking, I was feeling in my very being Nidhi. It's strange, I felt totally free. Mujhe aisa lag raha tha ke as if I had been freed from some long captivity or something. Nidhi for the first time I don't feel the past five years weighing down on me. I don't feel as if I have to be constantly waiting for the proverbial, other shoe to fall. I know ke hamari shaadi ko do mahiney ke karib ho chuke hain, lekin I never really felt as if I had left the past behind. Lekin aaj mujhe aisa hi lag raha hai. And I have you to thank for that. Right now I can't even understand why I had been so hesitant or scared in the first place."
"Well that's good. Lekin iss mein hairaani ki kya baat hai. I can't help it if you are too slow and dense to see what has been staring you in the face all along."
"Accha toh I am dense, I am slow. Hunh?"
"Aur nahin toh kya. Itni simple si baat aapko itni der se samajh mein aayi. Mai kehte kehte tak gayi thi. I had almost given up..."
"Now that I don't believe. Not you. Uh Uh. You would never have given up. Nope, you would have gone on and on nagging me, yelling at me, trying to hammer it into my thick skull. But give up on me, no mam you could never do that."
"Thank God. Finally samajh hi gaye yeh baat aap. But like I said. You are too slow."
" Agar yeh baat hai toh I think that I should show you ke slow hone ke kitne advantages hote hai. I need you to see that being slow can be a good thing too. I need to demonstrate that some things are even better when done at a slow pace..."
"Ashutosh aap..."
"Nidhi you talk too much. Just shut up and let me continue with my demonstration."
"Well how can I argue with that. If he wants to demonstrate who am I to stop him." she thought as she once again lost herself in the beautiful world of his lovemaking.
Much later, sleep still eluding him, but this time for a different reason altogether, Ashutosh gently extricated himself from Nidhi's arms and slipped out of bed. He got up and put on his pajama bottoms, then stood there looking down at her for several long seconds. Then with a tired sigh he turned away and walked up to the open window of their bedroom and stared up at the sky.
He was glad that Nidhi had felt the difference in their lovemaking earlier. That she was so attuned to him that she could sense his feelings just from the touch of his hands moved him beyond measure. But just as she had felt the difference in his, he too had felt the difference in her touch.
Ashutosh ran a tired hand through is hair, and bowing his head he leaned forward to rest it against the window pane. Yes her touch today had been very indicative of what was inside her also. He knew that had responded whole heartedly, but, that special spark had been missing from her side. He had felt it immediately.
Ashutosh cursed himself silently and looked back at her again, "Oh God, why do I have to keep hurting her like this. Why can't I just love her? Why can't I just let go of all my baggage?"
He knew that the time for talking had passed. Ashutosh ko pataa that ke iss vishay mein Nidhi se baat karke, uski feelings ke baare mein discuss karne se kuch nahin hoga. His actions were the only things that would convince her. They had too. Nahin toh he knew that slowly but surely he would loose her. Only this time it would be nobody's fault but his own. She would never leave him physically, he knew that, but there were other ways. Like today, her distance from him hurt. He knew that it was not deliberate, but it had been there nonetheless. He could not allow this to happen again. He definitely not allow this to happen, Ashutosh vowed to himself. But at the same time he had to keep his patience, and not try and rush her with his words. And that, he realized, would take time, so he would have to stay patient. And patience was such a small thing in comparison to what he had gotten from her. He had her, he did not need anything else. So yes, he would be patient.
Abhi tak Nidhi had believed in him and their love, and she had proved it time and again by standing up and fighting for it. Nidhi was right about everything but one fact, and that was that she thought he did not trust her or her love. He did. He had complete faith in her. Ab Ashutosh ki baari thi Nidhi ko dikhaane ki ke uske pati ko bhi uske upar utna hi bharosa tha jitna Nidhi ko apne pati par tha. He would show her that he was still her knight in shining armor, that he was still her hero. He was still the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.
AB RAJA KI BAARI THI TITLI KO MANANE KI. ISS BAAR RAJA KO APNI TITLI KE DIL KE QILLE KE DARWAAZE PAR DASTAK KARNI THI. RAJA KO APNI TITLI KI AANKHON MEIN WOH PEHELI WAALI CHAMAK WAPAS LAANI THI. USKE PARON PAR NAYE, FRESH, BRIGHT RANG BHARNE THE. HE HAD TO GET HIS TITLI TO FLY CAREFREE AND HAPPY...ONCE AGAIN.
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