Is Mallika that much in the wrong? - Page 5

Originally posted by: Chitrashi

This was when Ashu forced Nidhi to join him for dinner in Mallu's house and the couple of episodes just before that. He would praise Mallu and ask Nidhi why she couldn't learn something from her.

He even told Nidhi that if she was interested in jewelry and such things, she should take Mallu's advice, since the latter has a good collection and impeccable taste.

Originally posted by: SwastikAshNi

OK-ur point is valid...Hats off to ur analysis...
Actually i was thinking in this way. as a friend i think,anyone can ask at least once to another friend why he/she isn't marrying...Definitely asking once will not be the cause of embarrassment or interference-it's can be because of curiosity or friendly concern...In that case,i see no reason Mallu did not expose her feeling if asked...then what she was waiting for?
Actually 12 yrs is a big time-it's hard to digest the fact that a woman waiting for 12 yrs didn't give any hint of her feeling and the man couldn't guess it...
Now i think,u r right-as there was no one else in Ashu's life,Mallu began to think Ashu as her own "Haq" in her own way...So she didn't feel any need to express it openly.Sue just instigated her to take forward this relation into Marriage and Nidhi's coming challenged her womanhood..
As for Ashu,yes-being a orphan-he might huv something different perceptions...
It was very nice to get ur experienced views...

Originally posted by: Chitrashi

Yet Ashu and Mallu have had these experiences in the past. Remember the sharing of the coat was a memory shared by Ashu and not Mallika.

My understanding of their relationship has been that while Mallika is romantically inclined towards Ashu, he has not. But he's always been aware of the feelings she harbors for him. Even when they were dating and before Baba came to know about them, Ash asked Nidhi to model herself on Mallika and take advice from her about her jewelry etc.

Mallika was a familiar visitor in Ashu's house and he never objected to her questioning him about who was coming to his house etc. Remember when Nidhi forgot her bindi in the bathroom, and Mallika questioned him. Ashu didn't ask her to mind her own business, he was instead giving an explanation.

So while his words might've said something, his actions totally belied his words. In his actions, he led Mallika to make certain assumptions about his behavior.

Not that it justifies what Mallika is doing now, or has done in the past. But somewhere Ashu holds some responsibility too for his actions/inactions such as they are.

When there are riots do we absolve the police from all responsibility, if the cops say "but we never came to the scene of the riots, so how can we be held to blame"? Isn't this a similar situation?

Mallika's references to the past were intended to sow the seeds of suspicion in Nidhi's mind...whether she has succeeded in that or not, KPji has surely succeeded in getting his viewers to question his lead character's integrity...

Rather than hearsay ( in this case Mallika say), I prefer to go by what I have seen in the past...and that is an Ashutosh who maintained a clear physical and even emotional distance from Mallika...he never allowed her any more liberties than those that are afforded to a friend...never was his attitude towards her anything other than platonic...

Coming to Mallika's references, she also added that, on almost all those situations, she was unwell...if someone can mistake kindness for love, people had better think twice before being kind...a friend cheers you up by playing the violin when you are sick, helps with your hair and eats the food you cook...however there is nothing to indicate that he did all this of his own volition rather than as a response to your request/ plea...how can this then be misunderstand as love...maybe he was too nice a person to refuse a lady assistance...!

On the overcoat, we have no clue on the circumstances under which it was shared...however, if his intentions were romantic rather than platonic, I doubt if he would have been idiot enough to discuss it once he had moved on...how do we know it was not done to avoid hypothermia...can we possibly assume that a lifeguard who administers mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a lady, whom he has rescued from drowning, is actually kissing her? These characters are doctors who will not/should not view casual touch and physical proximity as an impropriety.

On the bindi incident, to me it revealed Mallika's absolute lack of social etiquette and absolute disregard for a friend's privacy...what was Ashutosh to have done? She was a friend and a guest. He could not be rude to her. So he just told her exactly what happened!


With regard to personal space, the choice of maintaining physical distance/space normally rests with a woman. The man follows the boundaries that she establishes. I allow some of my male friends the luxury of a hug when we meet...there are others who are kept at a handshaking distance...Mallika clearly allowed or rather welcomed Ashutosh into her private space...but he responded to it only and only when she was ill...and continues to do the same even now...

Beyond all this, the fact that all of us have debated this for long proves only one thing...KPji has got what he wanted...it was this debate that he wanted to get going!

Originally posted by: deepa_jd

I think,Ashu remained well within his limits and never crossed them.intentionally or otherwise..
he saw mallu as his friend ..and continued to treat her the same throughout..He never considered marriage till nidhi came in his life...
as fanktlk said,if BB had remained in his life,he might have married mallu after being forced by baba..
as for mallu ,if she saw ashu's intentions as a form of showing love,it was clear that she was blinded by her love for him and refused 2 see what was so obvious !

Good point Deepa,i also don't give importance to the physical closeness...Ashu must huv maintained the decency there and for the mental closeness,whatever more or less closeness was there,as Mallu was most and probably only one close of Ashu-she took it to support her hope...
The question only remains-
1.If Ashu had any guess of Mallu's emotion?
2.If Ashu-Mallu had any face-to-face convo in this matter in btw this 12 yrs bfor Sue's arrival?
I'm more or less sure-the second ans wd b NO..
Fr the first ans,i'm confused but it must b NO also...

Sujatha..super LIKE...👍🏼

Originally posted by: Chitrashi

Whoa!! I didn't realize that my little post would have such an overwhelming response.

Ok let me clarify why I feel Ashu is to blame for this mess and quite a bit of it comes from my own personal experience and probable actions as a woman.

I've been in both long term relationship with a FWB and a live-in relationship. At no time did I allow the men in question such intimacy that they would dress my hair or the like.

I don't like going to uni-sex parlors for the same reason - I'm uncomfortable with men touching me in a familiar manner.

I would never be comfortable with a male friend getting physically close to me like that. Nor would I go ahead and share a coat with someone with whom I was not in a romantic physical relationship. I'm sure most Indian women are like me in that respect.

Yet Ashu and Mallu have had these experiences in the past. Remember the sharing of the coat was a memory shared by Ashu and not Mallika.

My understanding of their relationship has been that while Mallika is romantically inclined towards Ashu, he has not. But he's always been aware of the feelings she harbors for him. Even when they were dating and before Baba came to know about them, Ash asked Nidhi to model herself on Mallika and take advice from her about her jewelry etc.

Mallika was a familiar visitor in Ashu's house and he never objected to her questioning him about who was coming to his house etc. Remember when Nidhi forgot her bindi in the bathroom, and Mallika questioned him. Ashu didn't ask her to mind her own business, he was instead giving an explanation.

So while his words might've said something, his actions totally belied his words. In his actions, he led Mallika to make certain assumptions about his behavior.

Not that it justifies what Mallika is doing now, or has done in the past. But somewhere Ashu holds some responsibility too for his actions/inactions such as they are.

When there are riots do we absolve the police from all responsibility, if the cops say "but we never came to the scene of the riots, so how can we be held to blame"? Isn't this a similar situation?

Originally posted by: SwastikAshNi

Good point Deepa,i also don't give importance to the physical closeness...Ashu must huv maintained the decency there and for the mental closeness,whatever more or less closeness was there,as Mallu was most and probably only one close of Ashu-she took it to support her hope...
The question only remains-
1.If Ashu had any guess of Mallu's emotion?
2.If Ashu-Mallu had any face-to-face convo in this matter in btw this 12 yrs bfor Sue's arrival?
I'm more or less sure-the second ans wd b NO..
Fr the first ans,i'm confused but it must b NO also...

1.If Ashu had any guess of Mallu's emotion? I think he thought that since he already told her his ans ,she would accept his decision n move on.. he dint think that she wuld be obsessed wid him ...
2.If Ashu-Mallu had any face-to-face convo in this matter in btw this 12 yrs bfor Sue's arrival?
he was too busy wid his own OCD and depression after baba left .he never brought the topic ,but am guessing mallu dint as well !

Originally posted by: deepa_jd

1.If Ashu had any guess of Mallu's emotion? I think he thought that since he already told her his ans ,she would accept his decision n move on.. he dint think that she wuld be obsessed wid him ...
2.If Ashu-Mallu had any face-to-face convo in this matter in btw this 12 yrs bfor Sue's arrival?
he was too busy wid his own OCD and depression after baba left .he never brought the topic ,but am guessing mallu dint as well !

Deepa,the first question perhaps u misunderstood,i'm thinking about this total 12 yrs...Suppose Mallu didn't tell him or Ashu didn't ask about her personal life-but this long 12 yrs Mallu loved Ashu,couldn't he guess it by her attitude?Though not full convincing,but the ans seems to be NO..

At second ans,i think too-they had no direct convo before...
In any case,if Ashu had the idea or knowledge,then Ashu to be blamed to an extent-he could cut whatever relation he shared with Mallu to completely discourage her..So let's take it-NO..
One more confusing thing Deepa-Jagan knew Mallu luved Ashu,but Ashu didn't😛

Originally posted by: SwastikAshNi

1.If Ashu had any guess of Mallu's emotion? I think he thought that since he already told her his ans ,she would accept his decision n move on.. he dint think that she wuld be obsessed wid him ...
2.If Ashu-Mallu had any face-to-face convo in this matter in btw this 12 yrs bfor Sue's arrival?
he was too busy wid his own OCD and depression after baba left .he never brought the topic ,but am guessing mallu dint as well !

Deepa,the first question perhaps u misunderstood,i'm thinking about this total 12 yrs...Suppose Mallu didn't tell him or Ashu didn't ask about her personal life-but this long 12 yrs Mallu loved Ashu,couldn't he guess it by her attitude?Though not full convincing,but the ans seems to be NO..

At second ans,i think too-they had no direct convo before...
In any case,if Ashu had the idea or knowledge,then Ashu to be blamed to an extent-he could cut whatever relation he shared with Mallu to completely discourage her..So let's take it-NO..
One more confusing thing Deepa-Jagan knew Mallu luved Ashu,but Ashu didn't😛



yes the ans is no .. i dont think he realised it !
@bold..
i think ashu n his frens at collage would sure have pulled mallu's leg abt jagan ..
and ashu never liked jagan i think! so their friend circles were always diff ,from my understanding !