why mallu never let go of ashu?

Deepa, very good question. LOng ago Mudra had a post comparing Nidhi and Mallu, I am sure she remembers. I wrote some things about Mallu over there. This is the link...check it out, maybe that will give you soem answers, my perspective on Mallu.
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=2900809&TPN=5

I feel a lot of it is in her mind and in her dream of having a perfect life.

Originally posted by: aardhan

Deepa, very good question. LOng ago Mudra had a post comparing Nidhi and Mallu, I am sure she remembers. I wrote some things about Mallu over there. This is the link...check it out, maybe that will give you soem answers, my perspective on Mallu.
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=2900809&TPN=5

i remember this post aarti...infact was thinkin abt this while makin this one..

Deepa, I feel the answer is in her need to be a perfectionist and possess all things unique. Remember her perfect house, her perfect career as a successful surgeon, her collection of unique antique jewellery. So in her mind Ashu was the perfect candidate as a husband, tall, handsome, very intelligent, sophisticated tastes, a thorough gentleman. So she wanted to have the perfect married life. I feel more than Ashu its this dream of becoming a perfect couple with Ashu that is her obsession. Maybe they were complimented a few times when they would have gone out together. And as long as Ashu remained single she was not threatened but when Nidhi came on the scene she felt this perfect dream evaporating and that was something she could not let happen.

I feel Mallu is also vain, she is very proud of her beauty and brains. Look at he way she used to dress, nothing out of place, everything perfectly selected to enhance her beauty. I feel Mallu also has a huge ego and always wants to be the center of attention, the most important person. Like you said she could have had anyone falling at her feet but the fact that the one person Ashu whom she wanted falling at her feet did not just irked her to no end. Initially her ego must have been hurt that Ashu was not giving her the type of attention she craved and this probably motivated her to keep pushing him. She just could not accept that Ashu would refuse someone as beautiful and intelligent as her. So, he became a challenge for her. Finally he would have relented enough to be her friend and over the years they became very good friends but never more than that for him. He was simply not interested.

As long as she feels needed and everyone is dependent on her she is fine. Example is her brother who never stopped thanking her for looking after him or bringing him up, etc, etc. So when Ashu did not want Mallu as a GF, I think every time he praised her for being a doctor, helping him, she must have been elated just being praised by him, it fanned her ego. In the earlier epis we have seen him praise her as a doctor but everytime she steered the topic towards their relationship he either refused point blank or diverted the topic.

As Nidhi came along, she stopped being his center of attention and also her vanity took a beating as she simply could not comprehend that Ashu found someone other than her beautiful. When he praised Nidhi as having a potential of being a brilliant doctor her inner radar kicked on and she perceived her as competition. How could Ashu find someone else with beauty and brains! Thus started her struggle to keep Ashu to her side and very quickly spiraled into an obsession with Sue constantly fanning the flame of jealousy. After years of being his only friend and sharing everything except his name and physical intimacy, she probably could not bear to see him change for this young girl. She probably saw love in his eyes for Nidhi, the kind she had always wanted to see for herself and it angered her. After being on the mainline for so long she just refused to get sidelined!

Well, Deepa I tried to explain the issue only from Mallu's POV. This does not include what Ashu thought or did in this relationship. As you said he never encouraged her by giving any signs and in fact on a couple of occasions even suggested her to get married.

Good point and i agree with u.. Ashu never gave any signals.. to indicate.. Mallu ever had a chance... she was just too blind and egoistic to admit it...

Mallika is an obssessed lover. Untill Nidhi came in Ashutosh life , noone was there in his life and Mallika is always his closest friend.Ashutosh never gave any signal and always rejected her proposal but politely.
So Mallika always thought that one day he will accept her as a wife. But when Nidhi came in his life everything ruined and she became obssessed lover.
just my POV

Deepa, Very valid question, and a nice pondering thought over the weekend.

Well, in the past episodes, AShu never gave any committments to Mallika for anything further than a friendship (the dialogue: dosti se kam aur dosti se zyaada...) even when she proposed to him pointblank, even to the point of emotional blackmail with BB's house as a bargaining card, he refused to comply.

Well, from a psychological POV, this is a combo of ego-vanity-comfort zone. She just refused to see the facts and dwelt in the illusion that Ashu will be hers some day. All this was fuelled by her SIL (remember she even made Aditya get a ring for Ashu?)

When Ashu confessed his relation with Nidhi, Mallika blew up...How could you? mein itne barah saal se tumhara intezaar kar rahi thi aur woh kal ki aayi ladki...AShu told her, I didnt ask u to wait!!

That should have been enough for Mallika to wake up to reality. But she never chose to go that way.

From a medical college POV, deep friendships are common. when two classmates spend 24X7 together, (they could be of opposite sex) they know each other so well, so well, (well I dont mean the term soulmates nahin to joote padenge mere upar) and even when one of them gets married, the friendship continues, but at a different platform. Mind you, I am not talking about an obsessed relationship, as displayed by Mallika.

I have had such friends, all male, and even today, they continue to be that way, even after marriage and with kids. The joke being that my husband turns to them for help after a jhagada with me!!! I am friends with their wives, their wives ask me their favorites and the college gossips etc etc..

Wont bore you further with these details...but Mallika should have woken to reality a long time ago. There is a saying: when dreams take command of your life, you end up in the pigsty.

Malvika

Deepa, had made an effort to look at the same issue from a different angle...copy pasting my thoughts below...might shed some light after all! So here goes-

I know that KPji calls them soulmates, besties et al...maybe they were until the point
Nidhi entered Ashu's life. But did Mallika offer Ashu pure friendship without any strings attached...any expectations...the following is a list of benefits that Mallika derived by sticking around with Ashu...

1. Free electician/plumber/driver - Ashu has said on occasion that he has to rush to Mallika's home often to attend to household emergencies...also he dropped Mallika home after work on most days...so Mallika maybe stuck with Ashu because she got a driver/ handyman for free...how many of us can claim that we have handymen with a mile long list of degrees behind their name...and besides she saved on the salaries that she would have to pay to these people otherwise...going by their bara saal dosti and how expensive household help is, I wonder why she had to take a loan to buy Baba's house..she should have saved enough for that just this way!

2. Saving on escort agency fee - Ashutosh was available at all times to escort her to social dos, drop her back home after work etc...we all remember Priyanka's shaadi...so, this way Mallika did not have to embarass herself by approaching a escort agency..

3. Personal taster - Mallika honed her cooking skills by trying out various recipes etc on Ashu...I mean she didnt have to pay for people to eat what she had cooked...

4. Cost of overcoat - Mallika did not have to invest in winter clothing since Ashu was willing to share his coat with her...ab London ke baraf ke mausam mei bhi share kar sakte hain toh Lucknow kya cheez hai.

5. Taxi/Fuel costs- Since Ashu was her personal chauffer, she did not have to invest in a car nor did she have to pay a taxi service...

6. Last of all, hope springs eternal - Since there was no other contendor in sight, there was always the chance of Ashu changing his mind some day or the other...

All in all, Mallika enjoyed all the benefits of a wife, barring the obvious. But given that Mallika was not exactly a touchy feely person in her sane avataar, she probably did not miss that...

Originally posted by: deepa_jd

good mornin..

i was just thinkin abt why mallu never let go of ashu.. as far as i know ,he never made any kinda promises to her ..always maintained his distance and whenever she approached the subject of marriage ,always firmly said no ..then why didnt she ever move on? or let go of the hope that he will marry her one day.. even in d court ,till signin on papers,she was expectin him 2 turn up.. she was a pretty and successful doc who could have men falling at her feet !..she seemed 2 be a woman who knew what she wanted... a go getter . then why?

Good Questions Deepa. This is my understanding of Mallika's character.

was she so egoistic that she couldnt bear a refusal ?

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. The saying holds good here, her ego is dented, initially when she did express her love for Ashu, she may not have always shown how hurt she was over the rejection. But she was. Her only solace was that Ashu was not romantically involved with anyone. So she continued to be a good friend and support.

was she so blind in love that she didnt see or may be want 2 see that ashu never loved her and would never love her?

She had settled into a comfort zone with Ashu, one which was purely platonic from his side and from her side, i'm happy to be around him even if he will never reciprocate.All that changed when Nidhi entered. Now her affection and attention were threatened and her supressed feelings emerged.

did she think that ashu's decision 2 remain single was coz of her?

me and my colleague were talkin abt a woman's ability to manipulate a man ..and came 2 talk abt the fact that a woman has this inbuilt radar which can sense a man's intentions towards her from the way he looks at her and also touches her.. she agreed wid me when i said that...

since ashu never had those feelings for her ,am sure mallu never felt it.. then did she choose to simply ignore those signals or was she so much in her own thoughts that she just didnt realise the lackin feelin?

in pyar tune kya kia , i feel ,fardeen khan was responsible for urmila's state ..2 some extent .. the way he looked at her.. gave her compliments etc.. but those things do not apply here..

is it just what i think (may be iam imaginin stuff abt d radar thing !) or do u feel /ever felt this way?

Women are very intuitive and perceptive, like prey around a predator.

We can gauge situations and read signals much more, maybe it's an inbuilt mechanism. But it certainly exists.

In M's case, she is seeing what she wants to see. She'd built this castle around A and her and felt that no one could break it. But N did unintentionallly. So she tried every trick in the book to get atleast Ashu the friend, so her string of gifting house, fuelling insecurity in him and the final step of entering a marriage which she desperately hoped would bring Ashutosh back to her.

When even that failed, she may have been happy with the thought that A and N were seperate. When they married, she came back as the woman scorned to seek retribution.

There are women like this who can destroy themselves along with the person they believe is responsible.

This is my analysis of M's character. Felt like I was in college answering my Literature paper. 😉 Enjoyed it.

hope u would ans my questions ..its really imp for me 2 know why mallu was and is d way she is !

have a good weekend ahead !