Originally posted by: yyy
I could never relate to Sonakshi post chula drama . It feels like she was pretending to be understanding but in reality she was not .Just like Ishwari she wanted to be most important person in Dev's life and be Bijoy's beloved daughter at the same time .
Nitu,
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.
Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
All these are quotes of Carl Jung. He was a psychiatrist and is considered to be better than Sigmund Freud in psychoanalysis. I remember that when I was growing up an was young, I used to want my mother to treat me similar to my brothers who were older than me. I wanted her to say that I was also as sensible and responsible as they were. That I also knew how to make decisions. My mom used to humor me and let me take some decisions, but some others, she just decided for me. At that time, I used to think that my mom was not being fair.
When the series started, they showed Bijoy saying over and over that whatever decisions Sonakshi took was the best decision for the family. He validated her in such a way that she assumed that she was smart and sensible and was a GOOD JUDGE OF PEOPLE. Although she was the youngest, she had been put on a pedestal and was given the responsibility of a whole family. No one really paid attention to the fact that she lacked EQ and that she hadn't really grown out of that gullible and immature stage. She was like a child who believes that the mother disappears in a game of peek a boo or as someone who believes that Santa Clause is real. She never realized that it was the parents dressed in Santa suit who place the presents underneath the tree. They showed that so wonderfully with Suhana when she runs away from IN because she thinks that there wouldn't be enough love for her because Dev and Sonakshi would have to give that to the new baby. Or when Suhana goes to doctor's office alone as she didn't want to trouble her parents.
She saw Bijoy as a perfect model of everything. She never really knew that the perfection image she saw was staged by the rest of the Bose family. In one the episodes(during Dev -Sonakshi's courtship, forgot the episode no 😆 ), there is a scene. In that Bijoy complains to Duda that Asha had lied about falling sick in order to make her(dida's) sister go back to her own home. Here Bijoy expected dida to be unaware of Asha's lie and become angry about it. But dida laughs and says that both she and Asha had come up with the lie and played a drama to get her sister to leave. Just then Saurabh too comes there and reveals that he also had known about this lie and drama. When Bijoy asks if Sonakshi also knew about it, all of them reply that they had not included her because Sonakshi didn't know the difference in these kind of situations and she would have blurted the truth in front of Bijoy and that aunt. If Bijoy was pleased with the pedestal on which she seated him, he was happy to place her as his crowning achievement. Both of them were lost in their mutual admiration and feared approbation of any kind from each other.
Sonakshi for whom Bijoy was this model of perfection was her goal. She wanted her life to mirror his. In this she hid her dreams and desires deep within her. In the whole series, the song unchui thi sapne mere is played ONLY for Sonakshi and not for Dev. Because she was ashamed of her dreams, felt that revealing would mean disappointing Bijoy who didn't believe in fairy tales or prince charming or love stories. It is just like Dumbledore tells Harry in the last book "And his knowledge remained woefully incomplete, Harry! That which Voldemort does not value, he takes no trouble to comprehend. Of house-elves and children's tales, of love, loyalty, and innocence, Voldemort knows and understands nothing. Nothing. That they all have a power beyond his own, a power beyond the reach of any magic, is a truth he has never grasped. Bijoy too belonged to this category. For him all this was good to read but was not practical. Only he was above all this because of his absolute morals and principles. And he constantly expected Sonakshi to follow in his footsteps.
When Sonakshi met Dev, for her he was exactly as Bijoy had described rich people to be arrogant, spoiled brats who misused the power that came with money. She created this image and conveyed the same to her family. That he was out to ruin/punish them because of Sonakshi's refusal to agree to his unjust demands. As she saw him and his generosity, the whole of the Dixits, her feelings and beliefs started to change. When Dev went to great lengths to save her life which was nothing less than a miracle, he became that invincible prince charming she had read in fairy tales, but had believed that she would never have that. Her dreams which were sleeping began to wake up and take shape. She started wondering can it be. But she could not tell the truth of her feelings to anyone especially Bijoy. The reason is the image they had of Dev. If she told him that she has fallen for him, then she would have had to admit that she was wrong in her assessment. That she is NOT a good judge of people. And admitting that would mean admitting that she was not really sensible or mature. And for her that was next to impossible. She started struggling with the truth.
When Dev came and confessed his love, she was overjoyed. But at the same time she could not dismiss maami's words too. From the day maami came to IN, she never left any chance of putting down Sonakshi. And in some ways she felt the same too. That she was not equal to Dev and that he was liking someone beneath him. She couldn't forget that Dev had got her fired and had closed all her path before. Nor could she understand Dev with reference to Ranveer. She started comparing her relationship with Dev to Neha and Ranveer's relationship and Dev's views about it. When Dev talked about how Neha might not be happy with Ranveer because of his socio economic status, she became alarmed. She thought that Dev might also feel the same way about her when the novelty of love fails or his mother/maami says so. The Ishwari who used to stop maami earlier now had started to make veiled remarks. It became very important for her that it was Dev who revealed their relationship. That way she doesn't have to tell Bijoy that she was wrong. She could say Dev said he loves her and she had accepted(this is what she did anyway when he confesses his love the first time. She doesn't reply as I love you too for his I love you. Her actions are such that I accept it). And that made it Sonakshi's generosity from Bijoy's perspective. For him his daughter would never love a guy like Dev. She had done so as a favor to him, similar to how she had accepted the job, because she had a big heart and was selfless.
She expected Dev to be that same invincible guy that he was when she had that accident. She wanted him to rescue her and give wings to HER dreams which had nothing to do with Bijoy's dreams for her. But unfortunately Dev had his own demons to deal with. He needed time and her trust in him. Ishwari didn't give him the time while Sonakshi didn't give him the trust. The more she saw the happenings in IN, the more she felt her dreams slipping away. And she desperately tried to hold onto them by pressuring Dev to talk to Ishwari about them. She feared that if Dev came to know the truths about her, then he might not love her anymore. And as you said, she wanted to be the most important person to both Dev and Bijoy. She wanted everything.
And for me in the end she lost everything. First Asha took away her her roll as the decision maker of Bose family. Then she lost Suhana who kind of told her that she would be in Sonakshi's life ONLY if Dev was in it too. Then she herself gave up the executive position of IN. By which time she had realized how immature and insensible and dense she actually was. The sisters who had respected her without reference to Dev then started respecting her only as Dev's wife and their SIL. Dev took her decision making power after Vickky's revelation. He stopped trusting her to make any decisions for their family. Bijoy and Saurabh kind of vacated Sonakshi from Bose house where they didn't even keep her childhood memories. It was like saying you no longer have a place here. When that check bouncing happened, Saurabh stopped looking at her as an efficient and capable person. In season 2, he treated her more like an employee of his company than as the owner/co owner/partner of the company. She lost her place as the primary in Suhana and Shubh's life. What exactly is left and what did she really achieve. From my perspective the value of things she lost is very high compared to what she gained.
Edited by Shaavi - 7 years ago
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