Has Dev failed as a Parent ?? - Page 3

Agree with @payalj

Originally posted by: tellyjo

Agree with @payalj

Here I wud like to point out that Elena had not stood up against Dev spoiling her son earlier though she might have felt it. It was as though she was saying to Dev... You have been spoiling Golu. Now see same thing is happening to your daughter

With Sona around Elena has become more assertive as she probably feels she has some support

Dev is not a failed husband, son or brother. He does more than anyone else can do for his relatives but he has a tendency to spoil the people he loves with excess affection and giving in to everything they ask for. He used to do that with Neha too... Remember the lehenga issue..

Here it was Golu.. This may make him realise long term effect of what he does so normally. It's important to not give in to tantrums and apply correction b4 things go out of control

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

It's very simple. The parents are fighting and the child is scared and depressed that they might get seperated again. Add to this golus teachings.

The child is behaving the way the parents are behaving and by that I mean both parents, stomping off, not listening to others, being arrogant and unyeilding and trying to show attitude even when wrong.

Children are not blind or deaf. They observe and copy. Simple.

But One thing that was really worth watching was Devs change of expression when Golu failed and when he learnt that Suhana had failed.

Instead of lecturing everyone around , Elena should note and learn what is Devs actual opinion about the importance of studying and being a good student. Its high time she realises that no one is going to take genuine responsibility for her child's future, if she herself doesn't.

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

It is not possible to stand against someone when you are living on their freebies and mercy. It's Devs money and Devs house. I think he made it clear to everyone seven years ago. Slowly but steadily it became Devs house instead of ishwaris house.

Regarding Elena trying to give a message to Dev, she had no business. The damage to Golu could have been controlled if she had taken the trouble of being an actual mother. It's not a matter of being assertive, she never considered her son more than an inconvenience.

It's only now when she compares Golu to soha, she finds him lacking and so has increased her efforts.

Devs being a failed parent, brother or anything is just not connected to Golu because he is not Golus parent and hence not responsible for his upbringing. That was Golus own parents job in which they spectacularly failed. The issue of excess love or giving in is not the core matter here. The matter is the sense of responsibility and care.

With Golu his relationship was of a friend and friends can't interfere in some matters. With Soha he is actually a parent and his worry on her behaviour and academic performance can be clearly seen.

Golu also stomped off with Soha- Did Dev even think about that? Whatever everyone might assume, for Dev there is a tangible difference between Golu and Soha and this difference might become more pronounced if Soha is further negatively affected by Golu.

Poor Golus problem is that his parents are worthless free loaders with no sense of self respect or paternal responsibility. The poor kid might have to pay the price for being their child

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

It is not possible to stand against someone when you are living on their freebies and mercy. It's Devs money and Devs house. I think he made it clear to everyone seven years ago. Slowly but steadily it became Devs house instead of ishwaris house.

Regarding Elena trying to give a message to Dev, she had no business. The damage to Golu could have been controlled if she had taken the trouble of being an actual mother. It's not a matter of being assertive, she never considered her son more than an inconvenience.

It's only now when she compares Golu to soha, she finds him lacking and so has increased her efforts.

Devs being a failed parent, brother or anything is just not connected to Golu because he is not Golus parent and hence not responsible for his upbringing. That was Golus own parents job in which they spectacularly failed. The issue of excess love or giving in is not the core matter here. The matter is the sense of responsibility and care.

With Golu his relationship was of a friend and friends can't interfere in some matters. With Soha he is actually a parent and his worry on her behaviour and academic performance can be clearly seen.

Golu also stomped off with Soha- Did Dev even think about that? Whatever everyone might assume, for Dev there is a tangible difference between Golu and Soha and this difference might become more pronounced if Soha is further negatively affected by Golu.

Poor Golus problem is that his parents are worthless free loaders with no sense of self respect or paternal responsibility. The poor kid might have to pay the price for being their child

Has Dev failed as a parent?

Originally posted by: sp12

But I guess the main reason for the post is the way the CVs have portrayed Dev's character post leap wherein it seems as if Dev is the root cause of every problem that has been happening so maybe this time as well he will be incriminated .

SP12, this is exactly what CVs are showing changing. From the beginning of the series he was shown as someone who was controlled by guilt. Ishwari did that for her own reasons, then Sonakshi did it. He felt the same feeling of guilty with Sonakshi as she constantly reminded him of how he forced her to take this job. Then with Sonakshi it became the guilt of not being a perfect husband. When Nikki came home for the first time, Ishwari absolved Dev from that guilt that she used life long and asked the 3 sisters to take responsibility for their decisions.

It was Sonakshi who decided to go to the client meeting alone. All her subsequent actions were her own decisions including hiding Vickky's truth. Dev is not responsible for the consequences of Sonakshi's decisions. But he felt guilty. On the Aug 1 episode, Sonakshi by saying that I need freedom and my work life is independent of you and Ishwari through her conversation with him absolved him of the guilt he had. Of not being there or taking care of her for the last 7 years. In yesterday's episode, Dev neither said thanks to Sonakshi for the date nor said SORRY for his behavior for the past days. That to me is a huge deal. And shows that he is free of that guilt.

Coming to Soha and her current attitude she is confused. In the beginning of season 2 when Sonakshi for the first time talks about Dev to Soha, she tells that she was a princess and her papa was the frog. That he couldn't keep her happy or take care of her. She also told that he hurt her. In the episode where Soha asks them to stay together, both again say that they are wrong for each other. In the episode where Dev comes to Bose house for the weekly arrangement, Soha asks Dev why everybody was angry with him. He says cause he has hurt her mama. In the recent episodes when Suhana asks if Dev had hurt her, Sonakshi says that Dev loved everyone and couldn't hurt anyone. These contradictions added with Golu's version of his bigcha has created a lot of confusion within Suhana. And that is being shown.

Suhana is the only guilt that is remaining binding him. With Suhana showing attitude and blackmailing him to bring Vickky home, he is on his path to rid of that last bond and truly become independent. My guess is he will not budge to Suhana's demands. If she is stubborn, he is her father in that too. And my guess is Sonakshi will not support Suhana in bringing back Vickky. She will also not stop Elena from leaving IN with Golu. With this track Dev will become free of the self reproach of not being part of Soha's pregnancy or birth.

Just my pov.

Dev is still learning the ropes of being a parent. he might have been a father figure to his sisters but never their actual father. there lies a huge difference in being a father figure to being the father.

@ randomramblings, thank you for the wonderful post, especially the last paragraph. A parent has to be part of their child's life no matter how old they are. And I think this is exactly what Ishwari is realizing that even with Sonakshi in his life, Dev very much needs her. And her guidance. She is also realizing that Sonakshi needs help too in really understanding Dev.

Originally posted by: Shaavi

Suhana is the only guilt that is remaining binding him. With Suhana showing attitude and blackmailing him to bring Vickky home, he is on his path to rid of that last bond and truly become independent. My guess is he will not budge to Suhana's demands. If she is stubborn, he is her father in that too. And my guess is Sonakshi will not support Suhana in bringing back Vickky. She will also not stop Elena from leaving IN with Golu. With this track Dev will become free of the self reproach of not being part of Soha's pregnancy or birth.

Just my pov.