Has Dev failed as a Parent ?? - Page 4

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

If a child shows its parent attitude, doesn't listen and tries to blackmail him, the parent becomes free of guilt with respect to that child???😲🤡🤣

A normal parent with all his mental faculties working properly would be further burdened with worry and guilt in such case. He won't be able to sleep, the way Dev was shown yesterday. A Normal parent, that is.

His tension will increase if his child's behaviour worsens, he will not get independent. At least that would be the way any sane person would think or react.

Bachcha hai, own flesh and blood, a piece of one's heart, pet dog nahin hai, that one would get free of guilt if he or she shows attitude or blackmails🤣

Originally posted by: Shaavi

I am sorry if I failed to convey what I meant to say. What I was trying to say was, Dev feels unsure of his place in Suhana's life. He is trying to be in her life after having met her 7 years later. Whatever he has been doing, he is doing more as a parent ridden with guilt and fear and not as a parent who doesn't have that. A similar fear grips Suhana too. She doesn't want her mother to take her away from her father now that she has seen her father and experienced his love.

Till a few days ago he thought he was the one responsible for not being with Suhana since birth. With Vickky's truth he now knows that he isn't responsible directly. But is still gripped with the fear that he may lose her again. Sonakshi has time and again given him to understand that he is disposable in her life. He is struggling to continue to be part of her life. He thinks that if he says no to her for anything, then she will no longer be in his life or that he will no longer be part of her life.

For Suhana it is slightly different. She lived with the truth that her father didn't love her or care for her. Now she is told that her father has always loved her. All her life she believed everything that Sonakshi told her. Now Sonakshi is saying a different thing, but is not explaining the reason. She is not telling the truth. Suhana has seen how much Dev loves her. And she wants to have that for the rest of her life. What Golu said was how Dev was there in his life even though he lied, cheated and hid things. So Soha in wanting to be with Dev is thinking that this is the way she can be in his life. To be what she thinks Dev wants her to be.

What Sonakshi needs to do is take responsibility for Dev not being in Suhana's life for the last 7 years. She needs to assure Dev that she will never take Suhana away from him no matter what. On the other hand she needs to tell Suhana that Dev being away from her all this while is not his fault. That it was hers. That she made a mistake. And assure her that she will no longer do it again.

Both Dev and Soha are scared of not being in each other's life as they weren't all these years. They are doing what they think the other one wants. And both fear losing each other. Only Sonakshi can clear that misconception by admitting to her faults and taking responsibility for Dev not being in Suhana's life all this time. This is the guilt I am referring to.

Hope I am able to convey what I meant clearly.

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

Firstly I don't want to discuss who was at fault for Dev not being with Soha during the initial years.

That is a topic the creatives whose brainchild the show and it's characters are have clarified and substantiated again and again in the show itself. Whatever else we assume and presume is only our imagination and has absolutely no connection with the story line and therefore frankly speaking is useless.

So I will just pass whose mistake it was in the season one part.

However, i agree that sonakshi's current behaviour is wired and she needs to seriously work on reassuring Dev and assauging his fears. She needs to provide him mental support.

But I still completely fail to understand how sohas wrong or weird behaviour can in any way absolve Dev of any guilt. He is her father and this is not a game of scores that see I was proved right so I am vindicated.

A normal parent would drown in fear, guilt and worry instead of feeling reassured that the current mess is not his fault. Whatever Sonakshi might say or do, whenever soha will err, Dev will go deeper into guilt and try to change himself. Sonakshi will also do the same.

Originally posted by: Shaavi

Suhana had asked Dev a question when he asked her why she didn't want to meet her father -- If he couldn't keep my mother happy, how can he keep me happy?. For that Dev had to prove that he could and will keep Sonakshi happy before Suhana accepted him as her "papa" and not just her father.

All her life Sonakshi was her "mom" and not just her mother. By Sonakshi constantly acting like Dev is not important to her, she has given raise to the doubt in Suhana's mind. Now Suhana is questioning herself "if she was ever important to Sonakshi. That if Sonakshi cannot give importance to her "papa", then how can she give importance to me?". For her now Sonakshi is going from being the "mom" to just being her mother. The way Suhana is looking is it is her father who gives importance to her, not her mother. That he puts her above everything else, not her mother.

She is angry at Sonakshi for not making her important. Not making her father important. She is sad of not being able to have him during the early years of her life when she was baby and wanted him. The dream she had on the day Dev went to kolkata shows how much she missed having him in her life even though she had a father figure in Jotin. So she wants to prove herself to be her father's daughter. She is thinking that by following what Golu is saying, she will be who Dev wants her to be. And she wants to be that desperately. To remain important to Dev.

In yesterday's episode when Dev and Sonakshi come to know that Suhana failed in Math, the way they approached her made the difference in her response. She wanted them to give her more importance than the marks. While Dev did it with the way he questioned her low marks, Sonakshi's words were such that the marks were more important than her. That is why she burst out at Sonakshi. But when Dev supported Sonakshi finally asking Suhana not that way to her mother, she held her mother responsible for having lost the opportunity to spend time with her 'papa'.

The only way for Suhana to come out of the path that she is going, is for Sonakshi to admit the truth. take responsibility for the consequences. And going forward to prove to Suhana that she and Dev are more important to her than anything else.