*Season 2, Week 20* Analysis Thread

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Deepa

@deepsel

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#221

Shaavi and Lakshmi : No worries, thats the beauty of perspectives😊 Lakshmi I just want to point out that even Bijoy witnessed Sona's pain all those 7 years but all he remembered was how Dixits were the reason for those pain which was unpardonable in his opinion while Asha saw the other part of Sona's pain of staying away from her love and hiding it. So one person trying to remove the cause of her pain while another trying to unite the cause of her pain. Ultimately both are trying to remove that pain but their methods differ based on their perspectives😳

Latha : I completely understand where you are coming from since we have already discussed this in detail inside my posts when those "doormat" qualities were hot topic of forum since our personal lives were quite similar during the initial years of marriage. Only difference is we both learned where to draw the line to elder's intrusion which Sona failed. I have faced those mess from both my parents and trust me when I say I know how ugly it gets. Marriage is a learning process of adjustment not just for the bride and groom but also to their respective parents and it all takes time. Whatever impression is created during those days remains for lifelong no matter how genuine they might turn later, so I do understand when you are scared to leave your husband alone with your family, as we are sailing in the same boat! Even today I have the task of maintaining peace between daddy's girl and husband's wife whenever both end meets but I have learned that balance to please both ends without striking their egos. This experience has taught me to see the good qualities in each person instead of magnifying their shortcomings and my defense for Bijoy is uprooted from that experience. I can't disregard my father/mother's hardwork and love of all those years before marriage as insensitive and worthless just based on their mindless actions after my marriage because I have my fair share of faults in that too. It was my stand to take whether to make or break that marriage and thats why I always blamed Dev and Sona for their failed marriage and not Bijoy and Ishwari. I will say Sona is using Bijoy as a protective shield and using that promise as an excuse when infact she is capable of solving her ex-inlaws problem by becoming their best friends even if it going against her father's wish. I agree Bijoy has a part in this mess, all am saying is he is not the only part. Like you said even I mentioned in one of my response that Bijoy sees what he wishes to see and will continue to do so until his doubts are wronged and he get to witness the changes himself😳

I will just say one thing dear, no fictional character is worth discussing to the extend of reopening our past wounds, I know KRP often touches our sensitive parts (I know it does for you too Havish🤗) so lets not take these things to heart and move on to nicer things. I really didn't want to address this topic anymore but didn't want to I miss the oppurtunity of interacting with you Latha..Blame our cameo appearances 😆.

DQ, welcome back balike🤗 I was starting to get worried whether you are still recovering from the shock of Dev's new striped attire😆

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Deepa

@deepsel

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#222

Originally posted by: Danseuse

I have to agree that Bijoy is happy that Dev is finally getting re-married and Sonakshi would be freed from the Dixit family forever. He is also happy that though Sonakshi has promised him that she has no feelings for Dev, now that he is likely to be bethrothed to someone else, ek bala tal gayi! But, little does he know that Dev has agreed only because of Sonakshi!!!! What would happen when Sonakshi creates tantrums and looses her sanity at Dev's mandap?? 😃

-Rekha

Bijoy's heart attack confirmed 🤣 I missed your sarcasm Rekha 🤗

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#223

Originally posted by: LiveLife321
@lakshmi, thanks for your appreciation. As a parent if it's their responsibility to be our strength then as a kid it's our responsibility to provide clarity and clear picture to them. No parent wants anything bad to their kids but sometimes they get blinded by their insecurities. Many times people say dev never took stand for Sona, excluding infertility track that guy was always there with her infact he gave full control of their relationship to her, that's how much he trusted her. Sona disappointed me when she conveniently pushed all blame on him when things went out of her hand. In fact, I feel she never took any stand for Dev before her family especially before Bijoy and that guy never complained about this. And I feel the main reason for Bijoy's current fears or behavior is because of this Sona's attitude. Unless he knows what exactly she thinks or wants, I don't think even dev can do anything. Till now, no one knows exactly what she wants since no one saw her without her facade and everyone has their own perspective based on the facade they see.

Latha

agree with you. Sona also has never tried to let Bijoy understand the reality of Dev's ch I don't say the change that happened in him because like you I believe Dev never left her alone be it s1 or S2. Yes he gave her full control with trust.She never felt it essential to take a stand for him before Bijoy. She behaved like she is the one who is at the receiving end without his support. I wonder how could she do so because normally we prefer to defend our hubbies ( sorry I am talking in general we hate to hear anything bad about him even from our parents.) She failed to make it clear how much Dev and his love meant to her.Still I think Bijoy should not have taken things that far and ruin a beautiful marriage.

Sneha

Thanks for understanding my point. Seven years is a long period . They have to suffer because of Iswari and mostly due to Bijoy's interference. Soha has to live without her father. It hurts.

Nice to hear about your experiences and I agree with everything you said regarding how Sona should have behaved.

Lakshmi

Edited by ltelidevara - 8 years ago

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Enlightened21

@Enlightened21

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#224

Now, coming to Baba Bijoy, I would say sorry for expressing it as, I was complaining for Baba being so overprotective...No. What I felt bad was, even when Baba understood what phase Sona was going through, he didn't lend his shoulder to Sona to cry. Inspite of seeing how hollow Sona was feeling, he just gave some gyaan and rigidly commanded Sona to be strong. That was so cruel of him and was totally in contrast to the Baba we saw in episode 119, where we see a loving father with the support of all the rational reasons exhorts Sona not to doubt herself and then hugging her to comfort her. Here we can see Sona was more open with her Baba too. I know, all what he saw or experienced throughout his daughter's love saga has made him stone-hearted; but would it be to the extent that it would restrict him to give his daughter a hug when she needed it the most? That was where I felt Bijoy was no more thinking of Sona; instead his thoughts were more pre-occupied with his hatred towards the Dixits. Otw, the old Baba would not have treated Sona like this.

Are we moving to a phase where we will soon see Soha asking Baba Bijoy, the same question she asked Dev - If you couldn't keep my mother happy, how are you going to keep me happy?

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ltelidevara

@ltelidevara

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#225

@ Deepa s

Yes Different perspectives and so different thoughts. Ironically Bijoy tries to remove the pain without knowing the reason and remedy for that. Asha exactly knows both. There we both differ.

Lakshmi

Edited by ltelidevara - 8 years ago

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Enlightened21

@Enlightened21

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#226

Originally posted by: Samanalyse

@Bold: I think you may be misunderstanding what people (including me) mean here. It's not that Dev has to prove himself to Bijoy, but more like Dev has the ability to deal with Bijoy in a way that none of his family members can. It's the mirror image of Sona being able to deal with the Khatri situation on behalf of Dev and Ishwari. She cared deeply about them, but was emotionally detached from the situation. Therefore, she was able to think objectively and solve the problem in a methodical way.

Similarly, Sona is emotionally tangled in the situation with Bijoy to the point where she can't see her relationship with Dev and her Baba's vision of her ever co-existing. Dev, on the other hand, has the ability to see Bijoy's POV and question him in such a way that he doesn't get defensive, but actually introspects. Sona can shout from the rooftops that Dev makes her happy, but Bijoy will continue to see it as her weakness, as Dev and Ishwari controlling her, until he questions his own dogmatic beliefs. As we have seen aggression and direct identification of his flaws (from Saurabh and Asha) only makes Bijoy more unwilling to budge. The only thing that had begun to work was Dev's genuine questions and his willingness to listen and empathise with Bijoy's side of the story.

That said, Sona needs to come clean and ask for help in order for Dev to take initiative, but it's complicated even for Sona to understand. As evidenced by her talk with Asha yesterday, it's not the literal promise she made to Bijoy that is holding her back, it is the thoughts that are ingrained in her system from trying to be his ideal daughter. She is exhausted from the effort of measuring up to Bijoy's standards, but not tired enough to be dependent on Dev.

So from my perspective, it's not as simple as Sona defying Bijoy or telling him the truth. In fact, the whole problem is that she has only two modes with Bijoy, either complete defiance or complete deference (why I call her a pendulum). She can't see being with Dev as anything but defiance of Bijoy and she can't see deference to Bijoy as anything but indifference/antagonism towards Dev. She is stuck, and that is where Dev can be helpful as a third party who sees that with some effort, she can have both. He already started the process when, instead of avoiding Bijoy, he came in for tea that day and made it a point to show his face. Like father like daughter, Bijoy needs to be worn down gradually.

Sam...You have explained it very beautifully on why, evenif Sona tries to convince Baba, it is not going to be effective. Sona can list out all the things where she had also been wrong during the marriage phase; yet Baba is not going to believe her. He will brush it off as Sona's excuses to get back with Dev. Because, it is not once; twice the Dixits have failed him. So, until he is not convinced through actions, he will not place his trust on Dev or Ishwari. But with the spoilers going around, whether Dev will earn the best damad title after or before marriage is something we will have to wait & see.

Edited by grace4317 - 8 years ago

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#227

Originally posted by: havima
Physical intimacy is an inseparable part in the expression of love nd trust and i personally feel the platonic portrayal of dev nd sona's "friendship' a bit exaggerated. In my personal experience.. i have bitter fights with my husband, (vampire vs warewolf types)... nd giving silent treatments to each other for several weeks. But after the first week there is always the awareness of each other nd who takes the first step to apologise to 'make up'. And i tell u mine is a typical arranged marriage and the trust love nd intimacy levels grows as years pass by nd here we are talking abt a couple who are very much in love.

This was a great set of questions, Havish, to which I have a very uninteresting answer. 😆 I think it's different for different people. Movies and TV generally teach us that sexual attraction is this thing that can truly overpower you and make you do things that go completely against rational thought and self-respect, and to a large extent that is true, but I think that this genre kind of underrepresents people who react differently to those feelings. In this show, Sona has always been shown as someone who has an iron will. Not only will she deny herself something she wants, she'll convince herself she didn't really want it that badly anyway. She is that afraid of being vulnerable.

It has been shown pretty clearly after the leap that Dev and Sona feel attracted and connected to one another, but I think that awareness means something different when you are in a stable relationship vs. when you are alone and putting yourself, and your emotions out there; there is much less risk involved in giving in to your desires from within the safe space of an established bond. When Sona found it difficult to give into her feelings even when they were in a relationship, I find it very consistent that she would be even more rigid from the position she is in now. When she feels strongly for Dev, her first instinct (ever since the Natasha phase) is to go out of her way to pretend she feels nothing at all. In order for her fairytale to come true, she needed a borderline stalker like Dev to pursue her despite her seeming indifference.

As for men, from my observations, they can be really direct about their need for sex but it can all change if they are genuinely interested in a girl. Sex is a really important part of a relationship, I agree, but sometimes, it takes a backseat to other more important sentiments in the beginning of a relationship. I think we can all agree that Dev is really into Sona. 😆 He has his needs but he cares about hers more. When they were married, he expressed his sexual frustration more freely. Now, he doesn't feel like he has the right to, and he is so in love with Sona that he is willing to take whatever she is able to give him at this stage, as long as the communication is between them alone. We never got to see if that would gradually rise into a crescendo of repressed desire for Dev, since Ishwari put her hand into the situation and sped things along.

I don't know if this really answers your questions, but I guess what I am trying to say in short is, yes, they feel intense desire for one another but their fear does actually outweigh that need, and they are very conscious of the fact that they have no safety net to fall back on if they screw this up for themselves and Soha. As far as they know, their families won't waste anytime in supporting the separation, there will be a lot of bitterness between Dev and Sona, and ultimately, Soha will suffer. That's why validation from their respective families is so important to them, otherwise, they simply won't give in again, because as Asha and Ishwari discussed, Sona and Dev are equally ziddhi. Their over-strong wills, and the shared ability to mash their personal desires down in the service of others, have always been the number one obstacle in their love.

Edited by Samanalyse - 8 years ago

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Enlightened21

@Enlightened21

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#228

Originally posted by: Harryfan011

It is the SUPER-ADORABLE conversation between Soha and Golu... From the very first second of their conversation till the last one was so damn cute that I am pretty sure that my sugar levels have increased tenfold...

Suyash...You know what is the specialty of your posts...You always focus both on the loud & subtle scenes of every episode. And this was one such post, which needed special attention, only because of Golu's acting. For that reason, I have re-posted this post as a separate thread in the main forum. Just FYI.

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Enlightened21

@Enlightened21

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#229

Originally posted by: Shaavi

Here is where Sonakshi revealing the truth makes the difference. Just like Ishwari needed Khatri truth revealed for her to finally see the truth, Sonakshi's upcoming behavior will act similar to that for Bijoy. It will definitely be an eye opener for him to come to know that Sonakshi too loves Dev not as a a favor to him, but as a favor to herself. He will have to contend with the fact that his daughter thinks herself unworthy of Dev and a lot of her actions were to become worthy of him and this is how she sees herself. That is when he will begin his introspection and realization.

This is just my views on Bijoy based on what has been shown in the series as well as my experience with people who have this set perspective and principles. Not intended to hurt anyone.

Shaavi...thanks for the reply...As I have clarified it in my above post, it wasn't that I couldn't understand why Bijoy was being overprotective. Rather, what pained me was his in-sensitiveness in seeing Sona's pain, that kept him away from giving her a hug, when she needed it the most. And, as melliflous has mentioned in page 18, I hope the CVs will not make him stoop down further. Because this was not the Bijoy we saw in S1.

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timbarucha83

@timbarucha83

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#230

Originally posted by: grace4317
Now, coming to Baba Bijoy, I would say sorry for expressing it as, I was complaining for Baba being so overprotective...No. What I felt bad was, even when Baba understood what phase Sona was going through, he didn't lend his shoulder to Sona to cry. Inspite of seeing how hollow Sona was feeling, he just gave some gyaan and rigidly commanded Sona to be strong. That was so cruel of him and was totally in contrast to the Baba we saw in episode 119, where we see a loving father with the support of all the rational reasons exhorts Sona not to doubt herself and then hugging her to comfort her. Here we can see Sona was more open with her Baba too. I know, all what he saw or experienced throughout his daughter's love saga has made him stone-hearted; but would it be to the extent that it would restrict him to give his daughter a hug when she needed it the most? That was where I felt Bijoy was no more thinking of Sona; instead his thoughts were more pre-occupied with his hatred towards the Dixits. Otw, the old Baba would not have treated Sona like this.
Are we moving to a phase where we will soon see Soha asking Baba Bijoy, the same question she asked Dev - If you couldn't keep my mother happy, how are you going to keep me happy?

That is exaclty my point. He is now allowing sona to feel what she want to feel. For every stiution his you are strong get start and my daughter don't need dev dixt. Soha don't need dev as a father.If you ask me he is exactly acting like ishu mata ehen dev first time have an break up and she used to say my son is loha so he is not going to be get affected and ingoner the pain of his own son. From last 7 years he is doing the same thing. As a person every time you connot act strong. And for getting things worse in s1 baba bose have his share. I have put this question many times why he requied to jump every where in s1 and make the things complicated. And this is also true seeing his current state of mind he will never allow sona to get married to dev. Thats why i feel after the break down of sona with the help of mami and her red their will be situtions where dev and sona need to take the dicision to get married without bijoy's concent and after marriage the things will get sorted slowly and mean while wrong deeds of mami and red will come out and as he will see the different dev and ishu mata he will cool down step by step. But at this moment he is not in a mood to listen any one and not even sona nor asha thats why they are not communicating with him. They are at fault but at the same time more fault is him. If all your family members are against you who was your support system even your mother is also commenting on you then I thing you shold introspect.By his rections he is increasing the distence between him and his family. Like ishu increased the distence between her and dev by her act. One more point I want to add is in ishu's relaization now she is not the god in her sones eyes and still he loves him though she is not a perfect mother play an imp role. When she becomes more human she started to understand the things and over the period time she will understand more and more realization will come in the same way . Bijoy need to understand that he is not perfect not a perfect father and his way to live the life is not giving the happiness to sona. His happiness is in the being or by feeling he is perfect and his life is perfect but sona's happiness in in the other thing or being with dev. This need to be understood by him.unless and until this happenes he will not change.

Edited by timbarucha83 - 8 years ago