Sona u helped me today! [Edited pg:4] - Page 4

Originally posted by: IFfreak

See this is where I lost connect to Ishwari.

I could connect til she was wallowing in self pity, was being upset for no reason... but when she purposefully made life of DIL worse, I lost connect to her.

BTW JazzyM, I remember you from QH forum. were you a fellow SeHan fan😳

Originally posted by: sajinifaby

Thanks for this post... that finally brings me back to forum..

Reading through different perspectives.. i wanna say the word "strength" is relative...

Ishwari is stronger than Sona while raising her children... as she had no much support even Mamaji was superficial? But how far is it true?

While Ishwari had children, Sona had all elderly with her...

Ishwari's horrible life began with untimely death of her husband, Sona's miseries started due to Dixits and all misunderstandings..and majorly Dev's folly and insensitivity towards Sona or her family.

A big question to the TM :

Mamaji and his family flaws was accepted, as the Dixits are indebted to the small help Mamaji gave to his blood related sister and their family...

Then how much more should Bose family be indebted to a non-blood member who plays a pivotal role as a father figure to Soha.(Now coming to Sona... she showed how Jatin plays a major role... in her n family's life.. esp for Soha..)

Ishwari had to deal with poverty and survival along with upbringing...

Sona had to deal with bankruptcy,infertility, separation,upbringing,caring for her elders n lead a life that she promises to give to her family due to her married life...

Too many...which is why perhaps Sona is given more empathy...

As someone just mentioned, it is great that Ishwari raised 4 children... but that was for survival instincts.. she never learned anything out of her hardship life.. other than having a hardened heart... at the end of her difficulties...

I guess, Ishwari & Sona can be compared now... as at the end of difficulties and survival with exemplary success they have their insecurities high.. and a very vulnerable n weak heart exploding rant instead of being empathetic or sensitive towards others... that could be ones who hurted you too!!! The receiving end are at the mercy of these survivors.. as they feel others are entitled to bear these tantrums coz of the difficult phase they were put in.. an uncalled period...

Well, this is a lesson for us all...

"If you go through a difficult period / life.. learn to be more empathetic.. and good caring heart... warm and receiving..

You have survived a storm, why do you need to embrace any insecurity.. weary not, God is there for those who have toiled.. and you need none other than Him..."

Originally posted by: ifuser

@Sajini, Thanks for your reply. I have to slightly differ on separation part though because whatever Sona went thru is not just because of Dixits .. even Bijoy and Sona herself were responsible to some extent along with Dixit's.

Anyways let's not talk here about those details as I was only mentioning Ishwaris and Sona's struggle as a single mom and btw I didn't say anything like whose struggle was big or small, as we can never compare individual struggles using the same measure.

Sona's and Ishwari struggle as a single parent are not the same, but definitely, both had to go thru a lot of hardships and pain in different situations. All I wanted to say is Sona has got great support n strength from her family and friends (Jotin) unlike Ishwari.

To add to that, Sona is educated and was able to earn enough to take care her family.

we should not forget that she has 3 ever supportive, strong educated men in her life, 2 of them are from her own family and a close childhood friend, who is a business tycoon, So how can we compare this equation to Ishwari's situation?

Talking about Ishwari, during the homeless situation, I would have to say that yes, she did understand the gravity of the situation, even though Sona was not her favorite. She had yelled at Dev for making the Bose family homeless and tried to put some sense into drunken Dev's mind by reminding him of their own sufferings. She had even instructed Sona to return the check to her father, expressing concern about how they would have gathered such huge amount. Ishwari complaint at that point was she was kept in dark whereas the Bose family knew everything before her.

I'm not making up all of these as I'm not her defensive lawyer, but it's been shown before the leap episode. You can watch and check it again. As i said in my post, i don't support Ishwari as a MIL at all.

Talking about insecurities, yes, Ishwari is insecure, but she is not from our generation.

She belongs to the old school and her thinking definitely is not like ours and on top of it, her situation was also not like ours or Sona's. One can't compare old school to new school. In the end, I would say it's easy to preach to anyone but hard to follow the same.

Talking about the Ishwari's insecurities as a "MIL", I agree with you 200% that it is very annoying,

but if and when you come out that Ishwari's hatred zone, then we may see her closely and understand her struggle as a single mom (not as MIL).

Again I'm repeating i'm NOT supporting Ishwari's insecurities as a mother or as a MIL.

I have to mention your another valid point, learning from mistakes. Very good point! I totally agree with that, but you think it's happening in real and reel world?

There's a phrase, "SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI". Which means MIL was once a daughter, that means she went thru the journey (ups and downs) in relationships. One would except every MIL would remember her journey and act nicely towards her DIL. So, is this happening in real or in reel world?

MY answer is, in most cases "NO". It's very "SAD" though!

Having said that, in every case\scenario there are exceptionals and only few families we see a happy relationship between saas and bahu like Asha and Ronita.

My only point to create this thread is to appreciate Sona and Ishwari's struggle as a single parent,

and with that, also want to salute all the single moms in real world whether they have support system or not.

I appreciate for bringing your point and i sincerely respect your POV, i hope you understand my POV too.😊

Originally posted by: dlavanya

There's a phrase, "SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI". Which means MIL was once a daughter, that means she went thru the journey (ups and downs) in relationships. One would except every MIL would remember her journey and act nicely towards her DIL. So, is this happening in real or in reel world?[B][/B]


Quoting the above... shouldnt the saas who has gone through tough times understand her bahu's difficulties as she was in that sotuation once? .. obviously bahu cant understand saas as she has never been one before..
Where is the empathy or is the motto "since i suffered .. you should also go thru the suffering ?". Unless this abuse by saas (knowingly) stops how can the society move fwd?
I am proud to say that my saas is a progressive one and she makes sure the wrongs that she had to go thru during her times are not repeated with me.. she is like a mother to me ... actually she is sweeter than my mom - me nad my mom get into fights once in a while but with my mil never..
We should promote this kind of positive mentality that things can chance for better for future generations.

Originally posted by: ifuser

@Dlavanya, this is one good example of "Misunderstanding" or "Miscommunication" means.

I clearly understand you didn't understand my point. I can't invest my time in making you understand further.

I mentioned thatin every case there are few exceptionals, and good to hear that you have a wonderful and progressive thinkingMIL. You are one among few who are fortunate to have such nice MIL. even, i belong to the majority. Let me tell you i'm the last person to support such MIL's.

I'm was only showing the real world. If most families have such happy relationship betweensaas and bahu or i should say like your family then there won't be any saas bahu dramas\issues in real and reel world and we will experience the happy world. Is that what we are seeing?

OFCOURSE! I'm "NOT" supporting any such "Issues" or MIL's. This is where you jump the gun ahead dear!

one wouldsee light only when one would remove the darkness. WE have to address the dark issues so we can better understand and work for the betterment in any area or relationships!

Originally posted by: grace4317

That was a lovely conversation between you two, Sajini & ifuser...And I agree with the points stated by ifuser. Only, if we view Ishwari apart from her MIL status, we will be able to understand her feelings. I am watching another show called 'Ek Vivah Aisah bhi'. There the boy's mom doesn't want him to marry a widow who has a child, because the girl doesn't match her financial & social status. She has tried all saam daam dand bhedh to avoid the boy marrying this girl; but the boy is hell-bend in marrying her. And the irony is that this mother's MIL who belong to the older generation is more than enthusiastic in getting this boy married to the girl. So, what I wanted to say is that, contrary to the state of this boy's mother, Ishwari's condition is a mental condition which needs medical treatment & heavy counselling. And that's where we who claim to be educated and have seen the world more than the elder generation, need to be more wise & compassionate.

However, Sajini...I liked the ending lines in your post. That's the truth. But unfortunately, Ishwari even being an ardent devotee, haven't yet understood it...And that's the beauty of this serial...Don't we have phases in life, that inspite of lots of blessings and assurances that you are taken care of by the Mighty One, you have your own set of doubts, tensions etc...My father is a living example of it. Throughout his life, he have been miraculously taken care and blessed by the Almighty. But still everyday and every moment he is a doubting Thomas...😕