Complex Psyche - 2 - Page 2

Originally posted by: gaurimisha

Excellent analysis.

I have to say I agree. I havenot came across any posts which discussed Sonakshi in such depth.

The infertility was her failure. It shook her badly...the way Ish blamed her and everything else. That failure was not in her hands to control and she probably expected more from Dev here. I could see her frustrated in Shimla, her dialogues that it was not her fault but everyone is blaming her.

Sonakshi is well balanced both personally and professionally because somewhere her family was not her weakness. They all loved her. And she tried to give her best to appease all. She could do it with much love and care and I find that commendable.

After marriage, the taunts of GKB, Vicky or Ish collectively could not hurt her as that power lied only with her love. Sadly, his saying 'Get Out' did it for her. She would never have left Dixit house if anyone else had said those words...only Dev had the power to hurt her and she had willingly given it to him.

Its ok for her to fail. She is only human after all.

Loved your post.

Story telling time:

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named Sonakshi. She was blessed with a family who taught her to be strong and fearless, to work hard and create a respectful life for herself. Her father was proud of her for always doing the right thing and her mother was an unwavering support in her life, both cheering her through all her achievements. She was happy but maybe not content. She viewed the world with her rose-tinted glasses, waiting for her prince charming. She didn't need to be rescued but she always dreamt of a companion to ride into the sunset together.

One day a man walked into her life-Dev. She was not impressed, but with time got to know him better and realised that the man wasn't really that bad. Slowly, she began dreaming and her prince charming now had a face. It seemed to her that fate was in her favour as the prince too fell for the compassionate and strong girl he could see in her, the girl who even she sometimes failed to see. Her dream was turning into reality. But life had other plans. Prince charming suddenly threw her out of his life because he did not have the courage to fight for their love.The girl was heartbroken, her trust shattered. Her rose tinted glasses had been knocked off and the prince didn't seem so charming anymore. The girl still gave him a chance but the prince chose to suffer than try to fight for their happiness. She tried to move on in her life but could not succeed. Then there was a twist in the tale and their love story got a second chance. Sonakshi's trust was shaken but she still took a chance for she wanted to turn her dream into her reality. There was one thing she overlooked though. She never shared her pain with her prince, never made him see her vulnerable side. The prince did not realise how his one action had shook her up and brought a big change in her.Now she was afraid that an external factor might take away her beautiful reality again because her trust on the prince wasn't the same anymore. They got married and the girl felt like a princess. But even a slight sign of trouble frightened her and threatened her peace. She took it upon herself to ensure that no external factor affects her relationship with Dev because her father had taught her never to give up.But in doing so, she lost a part of herself. The external factor was none other than Dev's mother.Let's call her the wicked queen.The wicked queen played her games and Sonakshi played right into her hands.Now we may wonder,where was the prince charming in all this? Well he was blissfully unaware of the storm brewing right under his nose. The wicked queen turned into an adoring mother in front of him and Sonakshi knew this but was unable to say anything in fear of history repeating itself for she believed that Dev would choose his mother over her if she says anything against her.Dev only confirmed her fears every time he shut her out of his life, denying her,a glimpse into his past.She adjusted,she compromised. She hid her tears, she smiled through her pain. She felt insulted and became a shell of a person that she once was.One day she couldn't take it anymore.Dev's actions and his words broke her.The pain,the anger,the frustration that she was holding in herself erupted when despite everything she had done, her family's integrity was questioned, her pain was mocked.The prince turned out to be a frog after all.

This story is incomplete but some things are clear:

1.Sonakshi didn't trust Dev enough to share her feelings & problems.

2. She never felt comfortable enough to show her vulnerable side because she was always expected to be the stronger one in their relationship.

3. She always feared that if she poured her heart out,their relationship may not survive.She adjusted not only because she wanted to but also because she had begun to need validation for everything she did.Approval & support of her parents mattered to Sonakshi but this need for validation was born out of the fear and trust issues.

Originally posted by: gemini54

Today earlier I wrote about Dev and now I wanted to write about Dr Sonakshi Bose ..yes my favorite character on the show . There has been pages and pages topic after topic written about Dev but not much written about Sonakshi so I thought I will give it a shot..So here goes

Sona Bose a Dr , Pride and joy of her parents, loved by her brother and was brought up in a beautiful family a stark contrast to the Dixits or so we think.

She succeeded in everything she did , shouldered all her financial responsibilities because in comparison to her Saurabh did not earn or had failed en-devours. So she had a huge responsibility and bless her heart she did it with so much love and Care. But Sonakshi had a secret a secret to be loved , a secret to get her own fairy tale . One thing was stopping her to confess to Dev when she fell in love with him what was it? the worry that she would fail, she would be rejected. The overachiever in her or the values instilled in her could not allow her to fail

I want to explain this point with a personal story..My kid once came back with a grade of 3.0 this was a kid who always had 4,0 so as a mother I said to him anything less than 4.0 was not acceptable to which he asked me Mom am I not allowed to falter or fail? This was a very rude awakening for me as a parent. We set such high expectations for our children that they themselves are afraid to fail. So as parents we have to tell our children it is ok to fail . As I wrote earlier Children always want to please.

In the Bose household Bijoy did not want Sona to fail..fair enough and Asha wanted her to adjust and conform. We as parents teach that to our children all the time that they have to succeed and failure is not an option, but what we especially teach our girl children are to adjust. So Sona faced with the first break up listened to Asha and adjusted and during the next break up did not want to fail . Failure in the marriage to her was failure in the eyes of Bijoy her father. So she adjusted when she shouldn't have and voiced when she should have maybe understood.

So in essence Sona never showed her vulnerabilities and Dev never sought to understand if she had any because in his eyes she was strong. But a person is not strong all the time are they?

Closing with this story that I love

The story goes:

"When God created Woman, he was working late on the sixth day.

An Angel came by and asked, Why spend so much time on her?'

The Lord answered, Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her

She must function on all kinds of situations.

She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart.

She must do all this with only two hands.

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.'"

The Angel was impressed. Just two hands? Impossible! And this is the standard model?'

The Angel came closer and touched the woman. But you have made her so soft, Lord.'

She is soft,' said the Lord, but I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome.'"

"Can she think?' the Angel asked.

The Lord answered, Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.'

The Angel touched her cheeks. Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.'

She is not leaking. It is a tear,' the Lord corrected the Angel.

What's it for?' asked the Angel.

The Lord said, Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.'"

This made a big impression on the Angel. Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvelous.'

The Lord said, Indeed she is. She has strength that amazes a man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. She fights for what she believes in.

Her love is unconditional. Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life.'"

"The Angel asked, So she is a perfect being?'

The Lord replied, No. She has just one drawback.'

She often forgets what she is worth.'"

"Author unknown

Hope this time around Sona realizes it is ok to fail, it is ok to voice and never forgets her worth

Originally posted by: gemini54

Hey thanks as always for replying. I love what you wrote in bold because in real life I dont think anyone would have had the patience she exhibited maybe that was the Asha part of her. I definitely would not have had this much patience as her..but again this is fiction😉

Sorry for butting into your convo...But couldn't help adding my POV here...

But ur statement (in bold) caught my attention...Sona was undoubtedly very patient..but I have seen people handling far worse and being far more patient in real life...But then they say that Real life is stranger than fiction...Of course,my own experiences and interaction with such people taught me that too much of patience is not a virtue...But then some lessons are learnt the hard way

Originally posted by: gemini54

Hey thanks as always for replying. I love what you wrote in bold because in real life I dont think anyone would have had the patience she exhibited maybe that was the Asha part of her. I definitely would not have had this much patience as her..but again this is fiction😉

Originally posted by: rock&roll

Sorry for butting into ur convo..But ur statement in bold caught my attention..Sona was undoubtedly patient,but I have seen people facing far worse stuff and being far more patient...Reality is definitely stranger than fiction...😊Of course,I am not endorsing this..I know today that too much patience is not a virtue ..but then some lessons in life are learnt the hard way

Originally posted by: gemini54

Hey thanks as always for replying. I love what you wrote in bold because in real life I dont think anyone would have had the patience she exhibited maybe that was the Asha part of her. I definitely would not have had this much patience as her..but again this is fiction😉