Complex Psyche

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Today earlier I wrote about Dev and now I wanted to write about Dr Sonakshi Bose ..yes my favorite character on the show . There has been pages and pages topic after topic written about Dev but not much written about Sonakshi so I thought I will give it a shot..So here goes

Sona Bose a Dr , Pride and joy of her parents, loved by her brother and was brought up in a beautiful family a stark contrast to the Dixits or so we think.

She succeeded in everything she did , shouldered all her financial responsibilities because in comparison to her Saurabh did not earn or had failed en-devours. So she had a huge responsibility and bless her heart she did it with so much love and Care. But Sonakshi had a secret a secret to be loved , a secret to get her own fairy tale . One thing was stopping her to confess to Dev when she fell in love with him what was it? the worry that she would fail, she would be rejected. The overachiever in her or the values instilled in her could not allow her to fail

I want to explain this point with a personal story..My kid once came back with a grade of 3.0 this was a kid who always had 4,0 so as a mother I said to him anything less than 4.0 was not acceptable to which he asked me Mom am I not allowed to falter or fail? This was a very rude awakening for me as a parent. We set such high expectations for our children that they themselves are afraid to fail. So as parents we have to tell our children it is ok to fail . As I wrote earlier Children always want to please.

In the Bose household Bijoy did not want Sona to fail..fair enough and Asha wanted her to adjust and conform. We as parents teach that to our children all the time that they have to succeed and failure is not an option, but what we especially teach our girl children are to adjust. So Sona faced with the first break up listened to Asha and adjusted and during the next break up did not want to fail . Failure in the marriage to her was failure in the eyes of Bijoy her father. So she adjusted when she shouldn't have and voiced when she should have maybe understood.

So in essence Sona never showed her vulnerabilities and Dev never sought to understand if she had any because in his eyes she was strong. But a person is not strong all the time are they?

Closing with this story that I love

The story goes:

"When God created Woman, he was working late on the sixth day.

An Angel came by and asked, Why spend so much time on her?'

The Lord answered, Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her

She must function on all kinds of situations.

She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart.

She must do all this with only two hands.

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.'"

The Angel was impressed. Just two hands? Impossible! And this is the standard model?'

The Angel came closer and touched the woman. But you have made her so soft, Lord.'

She is soft,' said the Lord, but I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome.'"

"Can she think?' the Angel asked.

The Lord answered, Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.'

The Angel touched her cheeks. Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.'

She is not leaking. It is a tear,' the Lord corrected the Angel.

What's it for?' asked the Angel.

The Lord said, Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.'"

This made a big impression on the Angel. Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvelous.'

The Lord said, Indeed she is. She has strength that amazes a man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. She fights for what she believes in.

Her love is unconditional. Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life.'"

"The Angel asked, So she is a perfect being?'

The Lord replied, No. She has just one drawback.'

She often forgets what she is worth.'"

"Author unknown

Hope this time around Sona realizes it is ok to fail, it is ok to voice and never forgets her worth

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dramebaaz.af

@dramebaaz.af

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

well put together. Sona's need for validation and her lack of trust in her and Dev resulted in toppling of her marriage from her side. Dev brought much larger baggage obviously.

i think Soha would be the wake up call for Sonakshi in realizing that its okay to step back once in a while.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

I love this post. You are right. There were posts after posts trying to "understand", justify, sympathize or even accuse Dev. But there wasn't enough posts writing Sonakshi's side of the story, her heartbreak, her pain, her broken dreams, her suffering. Plenty of posts blaming her for what she didn't do, but not enough posts discussing what she did do.

The story you shared I had read before and I wondered did God really forgot to teach a woman her worth or is it us, the humans, the society make a woman forget their own worth to the point that she is willing to take any pain, any suffering, any abuse, yet continue to live for others? Because if one day a woman decides to be selfish, stop giving a damn about anyone else and start living for herself, the very fabric of the society will be torn.

I don't think it's God who made women to have low self-esteem and self-worth. I think we are responsible.

When we tell a girl child to adjust and compromise more but tell a boy child to demand more and strive for more, we reduce women's sense of what she deserves.

When we tell a girl to keep her husband and in-laws's happy, but tell a boy to never think anyone over his own family, we reduce a woman's self-worth.

When we ask a girl to settle for less and stop fighting for more because it isn't ladylike, yet tell a boy to be ambitious and sky is the limit because that's being a man, we reduce a woman's right to fairness and equality.

On the other hand, we take away a man's right to step away from the rat race, to have a breather from million expectations and duties, also to share the burden with his wife and lean on her for support. Because we don't allow men to be vulnerable.

Having an equal society and equal worth to both genders are good for both genders. Not just women empowerment, it's time to talk about empowerment, period.

Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago

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306969

Suspended

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: tia.o
I love this post. You are right. There were posts after posts trying to "understand", justify, sympathize or even accuse Dev. But there wasn't enough posts writing Sonakshi's side of the story, her heartbreak, her pain, her broken dreams, her suffering. Plenty of posts blaming her for what she didn't do, but not enough posts discussing what she did do.

The story you shared I had read before and I wondered did God really forgot to teach a woman her worth or is it us, the humans, the society make a woman forget their own worth to the point that she is willing to take any pain, any suffering, any abuse, yet continue to live for others? Because if one day a woman decides to be selfish, stop giving a damn about anyone else and start living for herself, the very fabric of the society will be torn.

I don't think it's God who made women to have low self-esteem and self-worth. I think we are responsible.

When we tell a girl child to adjust and compromise more but tell a boy child to demand more and strive for more, we reduce women's sense of what she deserves.

When we tell a girl to keep her husband and in-laws's happy, but tell a boy to never think anyone over his own family, we reduce a woman's self-worth.

When we ask a girl to settle for less and stop fighting for more because it isn't ladylike, yet tell a boy to be ambitious and sky is the limit because that's being a man, we reduce a woman's right to fairness and equality.

On the other hand, we take away a man's right to step away from the rat race, to have a breather from million expectations and duties, also to share the burden with his wife and lean on her for support. Because we don't allow men to be vulnerable.

Having an equal society and equal worth to both genders are good for both genders. Not just women empowerment, it's time to talk about empowerment, period.

Yup.. its always talks about Dev and mostly the analysis posts talk about Dev/Ishwari(the man's mother) and not really about Sona/Bijoy(the girls father). Asha is an angel offcourse because she is polite to everyone 😳

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Ashlyn

@ashlyn12

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

Such a beautiful post. Very well explained what Sona must have gone through trying to come out successful from the marriage and adjusting.

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sona_naksh

@sona_naksh

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

amazing post sabita and d story is one of my favourites too n i love it everytime i read

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astrix90

@astrix90

Dazzler

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: IFfreak

Yup.. its always talks about Dev and mostly the analysis posts talk about Dev/Ishwari(the man's mother) and not really about Sona/Bijoy(the girls father). Asha is an angel offcourse because she is polite to everyone 😳

The reason why Dev/Ishwari are discussed more than Bijoy/Asha or Sona's relationship with them is because that relationship is the central conflict of the show..Right from the initial promos to the reason why they met to them falling in love and all the subsequent separations- its all Ishwari and the obsessive relationship she shared with Dev 😆 Bijoy/Asha don't have the ability to make/break this show..Ishwari is one of the leads and I believe this show was not meant to be a love story..Or rather the love story was not meant to be the focal point..Rather, it was about this insecure mom and her obsessive need to cling on to her son and how the relationship dynamics change when the son falls in love (they have butchered all that they established initially anyway so am not sure what the story is right now😆)..They probably have diverted from that post leap (atleast for now) cos Ishwari is no longer on the montage but like I said, Ishwari has been the focal point of most conflicts on the show..Even the infertility track was more about Ishwari not getting a pota and less about Dev-Sona not having a child..Hell, am yet to see one scene about what Dev felt/feels on this topic- about never having a kid or experiencing the joy of fatherhood..So yeah, to cut the long story short, the debates, analysis, praise, criticism is mainly centered about Ishwari not because she is the man's mother but because she was always projected as one of the leads of the show along with Dev and Sona..Unlike say Bijoy or Asha or even Soha for that matter..

Edited by astrix90 - 8 years ago

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gaurimisha

@gaurimisha

Inactive

+ 5

Posted: 8 years ago

Excellent analysis.

I have to say I agree. I havenot came across any posts which discussed Sonakshi in such depth.

The infertility was her failure. It shook her badly...the way Ish blamed her and everything else. That failure was not in her hands to control and she probably expected more from Dev here. I could see her frustrated in Shimla, her dialogues that it was not her fault but everyone is blaming her.

Sonakshi is well balanced both personally and professionally because somewhere her family was not her weakness. They all loved her. And she tried to give her best to appease all. She could do it with much love and care and I find that commendable.

After marriage, the taunts of GKB, Vicky or Ish collectively could not hurt her as that power lied only with her love. Sadly, his saying 'Get Out' did it for her. She would never have left Dixit house if anyone else had said those words...only Dev had the power to hurt her and she had willingly given it to him.

Its ok for her to fail. She is only human after all.

Loved your post.

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Danseuse

@Danseuse

Inactive

Posted: 8 years ago

@gemini54 :
I have to agree with @astrix90 that the soap has always been about a mother-son relationship and how another person who is loved immensely complicates all relationships. A possessive mother versus a selfless son. An obedient son who was taught to make it big only to support his family. He forgot himself, his wishes, his happiness which he discovered when he fell in love with Sonakshi.

The character of Sonakshi was introduced to show the audience that the male lead is flawed, unlike heroes in movies! 😊 If Ishwari was removed or killed pre-leap, the script would have fallen flat.

The forum has shredded every character in this soap to the maximum possible. It's been a great read every day- different opinions formed from different perspectives.

Sonakshi adjusted in the Dixit household knowing fully well what Ishwari and GKB were made of. She knew it upfront when Dev chose Ishwari over her. But she was completely in love with Dev and was confident that she would be able to scale through. Like it has been rightly said, she was scared of failure. Her father Bijoy, was always over confident that his daughter can rise above all situations. But she couldn't make her marriage successful - whatever the reasons. She found her prince in Dev and also a friend, as she never had one, since she was always immersed in books. Her expectations were not met by Dev. She had small dreams which were broken - celebrating Dev's birthday, going to Paris etc. She failed to communicate her fears to Dev. Strangely, they never had the desired privacy at home, despite living in a mansion. Sometimes, it's important to draw a line. She was always loving and caring, but couldn't stop her marriage falling apart.

Dev was a partner in crime for this.

Now, post leap, has Sonakshi changed! She still carries a persona of confidence and an aura of strength, which can fall anytime. She is happy with Suhana, but her fears and insecurities are still left unanswered. Who does she turn to for a heart-to-heart talk? Asha? A parent? I don't think so.

Dev is also sailing in the same boat. Both are living a life- lonely and full of pretence.

The leap was probably done by Creatives to give an opportunity to the lead characters (incl. Ishwari) to address their failures and come out as better human beings. Suhana may be the catalyst that helps them towards this.

-Rekha

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gemini54

@gemini54

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Hi Thanks for replying.

I love what you wrote in bold and agree that both are sailing in the same boat

No body is refuting this show was about a mother son relationship ..but we also forget it was about a Love Story of two people who together overcome the insecurities of the mother of the Hero atleast that is my understanding from the Promos otherwise the promos would have been only about Easwari and Dev and Sona would not have played a part in it.

I personally love the character of Sonakshi Bose and wanted to write about her as I did not see many topics written about her hence this topic.

This topic is not about Dev or Easwari just about the character of Dr Sonakshi Bose what moves her , what she dreams and hope she attains her dreams

Originally posted by: Danseuse

@gemini54 :
I have to agree with @astrix90 that the soap has always been about a mother-son relationship and how another person who is loved immensely complicates all relationships. A possessive mother versus a selfless son. An obedient son who was taught to make it big only to support his family. He forgot himself, his wishes, his happiness which he discovered when he fell in love with Sonakshi.

The character of Sonakshi was introduced to show the audience that the male lead is flawed, unlike heroes in movies! 😊 If Ishwari was removed or killed pre-leap, the script would have fallen flat.

The forum has shredded every character in this soap to the maximum possible. It's been a great read every day- different opinions formed from different perspectives.

Sonakshi adjusted in the Dixit household knowing fully well what Ishwari and GKB were made of. She knew it upfront when Dev chose Ishwari over her. But she was completely in love with Dev and was confident that she would be able to scale through. Like it has been rightly said, she was scared of failure. Her father Bijoy, was always over confident that his daughter can rise above all situations. But she couldn't make her marriage successful - whatever the reasons. She found her prince in Dev and also a friend, as she never had one, since she was always immersed in books. Her expectations were not met by Dev. She had small dreams which were broken - celebrating Dev's birthday, going to Paris etc. She failed to communicate her fears to Dev. Strangely, they never had the desired privacy at home, despite living in a mansion. Sometimes, it's important to draw a line. She was always loving and caring, but couldn't stop her marriage falling apart.

Dev was a partner in crime for this.

Now, post leap, has Sonakshi changed! She still carries a persona of confidence and an aura of strength, which can fall anytime. She is happy with Suhana, but her fears and insecurities are still left unanswered. Who does she turn to for a heart-to-heart talk? Asha? A parent? I don't think so.

Dev is also sailing in the same boat. Both are living a life- lonely and full of pretence.

The leap was probably done by Creatives to give an opportunity to the lead characters (incl. Ishwari) to address their failures and come out as better human beings. Suhana may be the catalyst that helps them towards this.

-Rekha

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