Pls clear my doubt regarding dev

The question discussed si many times but I really wanna know becoz I am still not satisfied with dev's anger on sona.





e. The harsh words does he really mean it. Becoz sona was not the one who was keen to marry him. His mom.nd his obsession made her to do so so why he accused her that she married him for money.

One answer for that ...Both Maa-Son duo are Pschyo people...They have easy n soft target ...one n only one Sona...They can blame Sona for anything...anything means anything.

Originally posted by: sajinifaby

Copying what i posted before :

To your Ques.. i want all of us to take a journey back to season 1.0 - coz it seems like dev and his thought process is not really understood by many of us...(pardon me for my poor vocabulary)

obodhro to dev1.0 who saved sona1.0 from accident.. he said the same line as yday, had it been anyone else i would do the same... then also ishwari didnt like it.. now also she didnt approve of it...

we saw the dev1.0 desperate n opened up his heart n all vulnerabilities n pain he has hid as facade..to sona1.0 and she remembers it all...n was shell shocked.. that she never realised all this...

(just before the accident.. they both had a conversation... about their relative families.. n that sona indeed is a lucky gal to have such a family like she owns..even as friend.. he wanted sona to understand..more than he could offer... n he always felt indebted... to her.. but cudnt give her that respect which others should have given...)

Sona fell in love with Dev.. but wasnt really strong enough to let him know about it...

Dev also many a times, missed many of his important meetings or occasion in the chakkar of missing sona's presence... n he appeared himself in her doorstep...

It needed a big event like Engagement... and a positive help from his sisters to sit thru this all...n realise what his heart really says... and then he did act on it.. with a confidence that all in his home love Sona.. his mom, his sisters, mamaji.. - he knew vikky n mamiji didnt like.. but he cared any less for their thought, seldom did he think all his assumptions were wrong.. and why were they wrong..?

As DQ said.. he has a poor EQ.. as he was not allowed to be so... "A family provider who has no option to fail..."

He went...with confidence... and what he saw marvelled him... she too loved him.. his raw love confession...

and he felt life is finally being fair to him.. and he got a return gift for all the hardwork n pain..

he became like a child.. and she completed him... there was innocence flown.. and sona was flattered.. seeing this dev... and she believed this dev...who had no constraints...n was the boss..

then they were introduced to "lets talk about it n disclose it to families" - he had a fear of losing sona.. coz he felt.. he is not the man who cud protect her.. and mayb he is not worthy enough of sona.. he never thought his family wud say a no.. he was thinking the other way round... but sona the stronger one saw the other way...which was more real.. as sona was having high EQ... thanks to her family...n their sane happy minds...

Much in contrast to his anticipation.. whom he trusted the most.. will be happy for his one decision.. which she only asked him to.. he was devastated... that his mom wont live... there was this another vulnerability.. he is not selfish to the core.. that he think only for himself.. since then it was known.. he doesnt know how to balance such hard hitting emotions.. which bounce back to him.. "Choose me.. coz u love me" and u have only one option... "was it fair to him" - One is his mother, the other his need, his love...

He was hoping that sona wud not leave him.. (for the promise...he had taken..."u wont leave our fights midway)...but there again in pressure of her family... she also gave in for Ritwick... like he said much earlier.. it hit him hard.. and he cud not bear it anymore... he cud not live without her... but did he have a choice... his mom for which he did all this.. still is believing that what she thinks for him is the best... but he started showing his other side post drinking... he never resorted to this...

[now is this sona's fault.. he said humein alag hona chahiye... tumne dekha nahi... maa humari vajeh se.. and all... - he was still conversing with her - but in his deep trouble - she did not stick to him - he is a kid with her - and a parent to Ishwari - this is Dev - so he wanted Sona to be a mother... remember Neha's marriage time... he trusted Sona has the ability to correct him with love.. and understands him n protect him... and give him hope... ]

Then post devkideewangi... he blurted all what he had in his mind.. and his mom took decision on his behalf.. he said no need when she declared.. but then why wud he not want it.. when she said.. she is happy with it... he believed her this time... and nothing made him more happier than this statement...

he ran to sona again like a kid.. maa haan kar di... what he fails to understand is .. sona is not a object who is only independent.. there are other dependancies on sona.. and who is affected by her vulnerabilities n pain... and they do not want this for her... like ishwari thought, this time bejoy did that.. why? as he is a mamma's boy... he is only when it came to doing household chores.. but not otherwise.. he is an ardent n obedient son.. only coz he has seen his mom struggle more than a woman should have.. n wanted to give her the world.. and he felt that was his duty...

so this time, it was sona who had constraints.. and he was sad that sona whom he thought fought all odds for him last night, would be capable enough to protect this time "their love" which he could not...

His mom took initiative, and he did not do much.. and he saw sona made everyone say a yes for them..

his happiness knew no bounds.. and then comes the worlds best proposal... they had tears in their eyes.. than romance.. they had love.. that overflowed...n they fell...

here it is symbolic.. falling together in love... but all that mattered to him.. is her presence always... and for her also she kept saying he is enough... his companionship...

both meant different... one meant be with me.. no matter what.. and the other be with me.. no matter what.. confusing aint it? dev expected sona.. to understand his complex family..and him..

and sona wanted her prince charming... to be like her mighty dad.. so that she cud b like her mom...

so sona went that way, trying to be with saas... like perhaps her mom... and remember wen he fed sona.. what she said.. feed me.. and make me strong.. so that i can fight my own battles.. she also said all that he wanted... n loved sona even more...

with each passing day, things were getting worse than better... and everytime.. she passified him, consoled him.. and stood by him..

small eg passive decision he once again made.. he wont go for HM.. [like breakup 1 - humein alag hona chahiye : there she left/ but in honeymoon time.. she stood by him]

this one made him believe.. yes unfortantely the dreaded 3 words.. sona became "taken for granted"

he knew he cud take any decision, and she will support him...and stand by him... that's what he saw...

riya's case, he believed in her instincts...and he supported her too.. not his mom's...

then came next unexpected blow.. that she is pregnant...omg, he wud not work the dirty way had he not see the positive home he wanted to with sona's presence..

he the man in control.. tried to do that... but that's where it hit sona badly...wen it all came out...

she saw the damage she did to him...by allowing him to take her for granted... and do quick fixes... which was wrong... but also saw he knew that she was not capable of being a mother..

that broke her completely... now this is where dev failed to understand Sona...

he continued to believe sona is sona.. and will remain the sona who sheltered him.. his wrongs n all... he saw a frustrating sona, at shimla... and he tried to say many things like a kid fight...

who just wants to win.. he did not know how to face it with words.. as he is a man of few words... and he had nothing much to say.. so with love he conquered her...

that when he say no matter what still i love u.. obviously he is hurt, and he know she is.. but he wanted her to be the same old sona...and make her feel complete thru him.. why then feel incomplete.. that she cannot be a mother..."you complete me, and she says.. and u complete me..."

then comes the slap fiasco, n fiancial funda.. and his mom unbearing talks like leave this home and all... he was not able to take that.. coz he thought the man who always only provided is now wrong... and his mom again feels cheated.. [those dialogues she told mamaji at hospital after high dosage of pills] , together with this... sona made it more difficult that she brings 4.5crores risking her family to prove his mom wrong... he was feeling bad, that sona was trying to do that.. n she in her ego was doing blunders..what then did he mean.. about u insulting my mom..

his mom just said, leave home.. n he somehow convinced her... that no she cares.. and there u go.. he cud not tell all this.. before that she brings this.. and makes it all the more worse..

his mom continues what she said to dev, to sona.. in a broken line - that made sona scared.. n she first time yelled to his mom...

in that emotional drain.. he gets scared.. like what was this.. and then in that push n all his mom falls.. and he said.. leave sona... [breakup 2]

next mistake of dev - how do u expect sona to understand why u said all that - but Dev's thought... she was in no interest to even listen to me... then how cud I even explain?

he said leave, and she left.. he was shocked at it.. that once again.. she left him...

again he is an injured soul.. and must say kudos to vikki.. he knows this guy in n out.. he attacked him all corners.. and ensured that sona doesnt get back to dev anyhow.. coz he fears.. n knew.. sona is dev's strength.. and if she is not there.. then everything belongs to them...

And Dev in shock 1.. see another shocker.. his mom n her prenup...

and learns from his mom.. that he made sona shelterless.. the dev who was protecting her in the morning not to do blunders.. felt completely low.. that what he feared happened.. and everyone says its him..

when he know sona is coming to meet him.. he was like now he will make things okay.. and that is his decision.. "HE WILL STAY WITH SONA"

his decision was not a 5 min decision which sona2.0 from the farmhouse took... his decision was based on the entire journey...

he knew only one person loved him irrespective of Dev Dixit n his financial background.. and that is Sona...his own Sona..

the sona who protects him.. nurishes him with love and care..

He did not care about a child or anything.. or to prove his mom anymore anything.. he was done with them ever..!!!

But Sona did not listen to him.. and said she dont want him anymore.. no more chance... [again as she heard Ishwari's name.. he did not know to present it well.. his fault again... n also as her family has no home.. and she dont want to rely on Dev.. as the world will believe that she looked to Dev when she n her family is homeless]

The situation here is wrong, and Sona refused to be with Dev.. she chose her family over him... and in his limited understanding just saw... that she chose family over him...

Neither did he understand her, nor did she...

So he said all that cud hurt her ego more n more as she chose family over him for self respect n ego mix... and now Sona.. who saw while drinking he spoke the truth believed it all...

she failed to understand that this time.. he was fighting with her.. and so is not the truth.. unlike last time.. he was in pain.. and he was asking her for help...so he said the truth...

This is why both are angry at each other and not indifferent...

Am not sure if i cud explain well.. but trust me guys.. we need a deeep understanding of Dev... i so feel for him... he is completely lonely...

yday he was the old dev... when golu spoke to him..

toh batti kar lo.. he was like she said no first.. then why i should?

jeevan bhar saath nibhane ka vaada kiya.. n all..

So to all of u who think.. promises are not meant to be 1-way it is 2-way...

Wish he had the strength to keep them.. he is a poor flawed man.. who needs help..

Just like ishwari.. and that's why dev goes n shelters ishwari yday.. by put her blanket on her...

he knows she need help... and not his anger...coz in anger.. they get more bruised...

PS : Sorry for this very long post... amidst u great analysts.. and analogical pals...

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Sajini

Thank you so much now I can somehow related with him. For understanding him we need to apply 100% brain. I feel pity of him after reading ur post.

Dev expected Sona to stand by him, regardless of all the insults her family had to undergo because of him.

Dev got most of the donkey's kick , so to say. No moral support from any of his vultures' family. What he expected was total support from Sona,despite all odds. Even in his inebriated state, at the moment of the final parting, he assumed she will believe him and stand by him

I sometimes think that dev's anger is just shown by the makers to show a love hate relationship between the leads. The problem with dev is he always overlooks the intensity of the problem and his ability to spot a shortcoming is missing. I also.find it difficult to digest this bizarre anger but I feel somewhere dev always feared losing sona whether due to his own actions or due to his mother that why he always needed that assertion from sona maybe becoz once he lived the pain of separation but at the end of their marriage all his worst fears were coming true and he just can't control that he is the reason behind it. Did he mean the words that he said before their separation??? I think yes, he said all that becoz he feels that sona too left him just like his family when he maybe not succeeding in managing their relationship but at least trying. But dev failed to understand that how tough he and his family made for sona to stay back and sometimes trying is just not enough

Yes Dev lost everything... and Sona lost only something...

From that separation he just remembers one thing..that he begged Sona to stay n yet she left him all alone even when she had promised to stay with him forever. He only remembers Sona's promise - agar aap mujhe chodenge...toh bhi main nahi jaoongi.

Originally posted by: Shlroy

I sometimes think that dev's anger is just shown by the makers to show a love hate relationship between the leads. The problem with dev is he always overlooks the intensity of the problem and his ability to spot a shortcoming is missing. I also.find it difficult to digest this bizarre anger but I feel somewhere dev always feared losing sona whether due to his own actions or due to his mother that why he always needed that assertion from sona maybe becoz once he lived the pain of separation but at the end of their marriage all his worst fears were coming true and he just can't control that he is the reason behind it. Did he mean the words that he said before their separation??? I think yes, he said all that becoz he feels that sona too left him just like his family when he maybe not succeeding in managing their relationship but at least trying. But dev failed to understand that how tough he and his family made for sona to stay back and sometimes trying is just not enough