Originally posted by: rock&roll
Interesting Post..I was drawn to this because I had inadvertently posted something similar..However,my perspectives are a bit different on certain things...Before I start off,let me say that I am not Pro Sona,Pro Dev or Pro Devakshi( this seems to the hottest question in the forum😉)..I am pro perspective and pro common sense😊
Interesting response!!😆
I will put forth my counter-views with regard to each point. My responses are in red.
1. I don't agree with this..Sona is definitely not pining for him,but she is no way over him.If she was over him,as she claims,she would not have reacted to his stupid statements during the award ceremony..She could not resist the urge to dedicate the award to him..In the process she gave him what he wanted-a reaction...It proved that she could love him or hate him,but not ignore him...If a person has really moved on,they ignore the other person..not react to their jibes...
On this point, I would say - moving on and un-loving someone (if there's a word like that) are not one and the same thing. You might have moved on, but still always care for that person ...or you may have stopped loving someone and you dont know it yet, but cant move on, because you're stuck in a place of habit. Sona has moved on, but the little tiny bit of her that cared for Dev will always be there. The hurt, the painful remembrance of those harsh words will always be there, because you may forget what someone said and did to you, but you never forget how that person made you feel. And there's nothing wrong with that.
For heaven's sake, they have a child together (even though Dev doesnt know it yet). So she is always going to stay connected to him, whether she wants it or not.
Yes, Dev wanted a reaction and she gave him one, but I don't think that has got anything to do with her not being able to get over him completely. It is more the hate, the humiliation she faced at his hands years ago, the one man she loved so dearly, that she clearly remembers and when Dev tried to deride her, publicly, she suddenly could not back down from giving it back. Yes, she could have kept quiet and addressed to her parents alone, even better, mention her daughter😉
But just because you do not ignore someone from your hurtful hateful past does not mean you are not over them. Unfortunately, we are all human beings and not replicas of Buddha. We may be able to ignore some pesky people some times, but we cannot ignore all obnoxious morons at all times. Sometimes it is necessary to fight back. Sometimes when you retaliate, it does not mean you still love the person.
What hurts you is the idea of what that person could have been, what the relationship with them could have been but they chose to destroy it instead. It is because you know you gave your best. It is not necessarily the case that they still love that person. So what hurts you more is what could have been, and not that it ended. You're possibly happy and relieved it ended, but human beings have a gamut of emotions, and nostalgia does creep in.
Sona does not need to feel ashamed for that. It's a part and parcel of moving on and perfectly fine.
In any case, if Dev would have been civil with her, am 200% sure she would have also behaved the same. That's that. Sona is honest and cannot put on a mask.
2. She normally doesn't play mind games,but Dev is forcing her to play it..and she is falling for the trap..again and again...When Dev returns the award with an acid laced note, she promptly returns the award...Which means she wants to prove to Dev that she will not accept an award that he snatched from her..Again,there she goes...getting affected by his statements..unable to ignore him...
If I was in her place,I would have kept the award..After all,I won the award,it is mine..A bumbling idiot cannot take it away from me...And if I return the award to him,I give the nincompoop a reaction and opportunity for further interaction..That is stupidity at its height..and that is unfortunately what Sona displayed...
Dev is undoubtedly being rude,arrogant and stupid..But Sona is nearly matching him step for step in stupidity...
My take:Neither Dev nor Sona have moved on..but Sona is coping better
My response- I respect your take on it. But this is again a matter of perspectives. I dont think Sona played any mind games. She is being straightforward, no-nonsense, like she always has been.
Yes, a bumbling idiot cannot take away my award from me, but after publicly creating a scene and handing me back the award with a poison-filled note, if he expects me to keep the award quietly, wont it stroke his male ego unnecessarily? And feed his unwarranted superiority complex?
So why would I keep it? I don't need this shitty award, which proves you didn't ruin my evening as much as you thought you did. Because I clearly am above those sick mind games you'r busy playing.
Why is a reaction being overly analyzed here? We need to see the character responses in their entirety, the whole context. Sona did not give a "reaction". She threw his way a metaphorical slap. And I think this was commendable. Reacting everywhere is not a sign of strength, but not reacting where you fittingly need to, might be construed as a sign of weakness.
Also, dont you think if she WOULD hve kept the award thinking, giving it back would constitute a reaction from her end, wouldn't that be considered as giving tooo much imp to Dev Dixit and what HE thinks????😆😆😆 If she did that in fact, then I wudve said, she is also playing mind games
So again, I feel, it is a matter of perspectives. What I think is strength, you may consider weakness. What I consider moving on, you may consider hidden passionate love. Sona is not coping better. She has coped up fabulously. There is remotely no match b/w Sona and Dev's coping end results.
3. Again I believe that if it is self respect,the one should never do anything to prove a point to others..Sona reacted to prove a point to Dev..Self respect played no part here..The urge to prove that she was unaffected by him made her do what she did..And in this blind urge,she ended up doing exactly what he wanted...She reacted to his actions
What Sona explained to Soha was nice..The kid is very mature,no doubt..But Sona gave her the wrong message...I would have been proud of her if she had told Soha that a nincompoop snatched the award from me to irritate me and is now giving it back to irk me further...He expects me to be disturbed by his actions..But I will give him no reaction..I will keep the award because I won it and ignore him because he is some stupid Tom,Dick or Harry from the street...That would made me salute her
She instead gave Soha some crap talk about receiving the prize but not the award etc...
My response - I don' think so. I will repeat the same thing I have stated above.
Self-respect is a value, a trait, not many possess. But to manifest that self-respect, you need to either act, or hold yourself back from acting in a given circumstance.
I dont think she wanted to show she was "unaffected" by him. By giving the award back, specifically, she firmly made a point that the award did not mean as much to her as HE thinks it did, and so, he has not really succeeded in his slimy "mission. That she didnt take hand-me-downs from bumbling idiots who didnt knw a thing about behaving thmslves in public.
She was unaffected by him, it was clearly evident in how she spoke to the bellboy "haan, woh toh abhi busy honge"
that is not jealousy, that is derision, and disgust. like she expected nothing better of this man.
I state my point again - people will always say you shouldn't have done this, you shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have spoken here, why didnt you speak there? There will always be conflicts with what we as individuals do and what the society expects us to do? And I think empowerment comes from doing waht you want to do, react to circumstances as per the dictates of your conscience, not somebody else's who doesn't even know how you feel being in the place you are.m to miss is that - they were not merely bf-gf. They were a married couple, and now have a child b/w them. Marriage is a diff ballgame together. Its ten times manifold the emotions, frustrations, expectations that exists in a relationship. So to expect Sona should just waltz past him like he was a dot in the sky would be foolish and illogical to expect. Because, she has already given Soha the choice to meet and get to know her father. So she can't totally will Dev away right?
You can ignore someone completely if you do not have anything of them in your present life. But if you have even single solid remainder of them in your current life, then you cannot just wish them away. Because that is your reality. So you simply find out fixes to tackle any possible uncomfortable situations, that may come ahead. So you react where you need to, and dont when you dont need to. Like Sona didnt when Dev again interrupted her outside the function hall and she kept quiet.
In any case, I have seen many people reacting/speaking up impulsively, because they just generally are, as people. Not because they love the person anymore.
Soha is old enough to understand some things, but still very young to be dragged into an exact description of what a mess her father is. So I believe she simply mollycoddled the child at the moment because what else can a mother in her place do? Late at night, if you sit down to tell your child the details of your tiresome evening and the rendezvous with their f**ed up dad, what kind f thoughts are going to germinate in that young mind?
4. I don't think so..I don't think Sona or Bijoy see their role(however small) in the divorce and separation...I am not sure of this,but there is nothing that indicated to me that they saw their part or mistakes...And Bijoy still constantly blames Dev,but is unable to see his role in their separation...But isn't this human nature...We are blind to our faults and oh so quick to point out others' mistakes..And seven years is a long time..It reinforces in our mind,that we are victims and are completely correct and the other person is completely wrong..We draw the lines as black and white,whereas in reality we are all sitting on the fence of gray...
I admit I ought to have clarified my point better. No, it is not the role they played in the divorce I am talking about.
What I meant is, even if it hasn't been shown, I am guessing, sometime in the future epis we will get to see a glimpse (flashback) of how Bijoy and Asha could've taken greater efforts and not let Sona fall into this mess. By mistakes, I mean, the parental inability to protect your child from something/someone that intuitively you feel is not right for the child.
That guilt is what I was talking about.
As for Sona, though it has not been shown, would it be too far-fetched to guess that she would've atleast once, thought of why she didnt heed her parents' advice, and went to set up a life with this guy who she knew and saw with her eyes was easily influenced, could not take a stand. Was childish and immature even.
She would've spent at least some time regretting those numerous efforts she made to fit in, to make it work, to bend over beyond her capacity and make every one happy. She would've realized she shouldn't have tried to make every one happy in the first place.
But most ofall, she would've questioned her judgment on choosing a man like Dev who's upbringing, values, behaviour and everything else were in stark contrast to how she was as an individual and how she still thought it would all work out smooth.
Because when a relationship falls apart, you dig in and probe into the broken pieces to also see where you went wrong.
So essentially, when I say mistakes, it is the mistake of not pulling out of such a situation earlier or listening to your instincts better, is what I talk about. Those mistakes we make in judging a person/situation that cost us many things in life.
So what Sona and her family did was to cut their losses and move on the best way they could. When we trust someone with our life and love them unconditionally, and are let down, we realize later on that we too have been responsible somewhere or the other. So we learn those lessons, pick up the pieces and move on.
Dev and Ishwari have clearly not done that. Yes, it it human nature to blame others for your fault. But when your flaws are glarin you in the face and you don'tsee them for what they are, you end up losing. You end up a fool as ever. Bijoy blames Dev because DEV was in the wrong. Not speaking up when he should, not standing up for his daughter when he ought to have, dilly-dallying in his stand, always trying to take the escapist route, not honoring his wife as much as he honors his own mother, in fact, ALWAYS, choosin his ungrateful family over his daughter despite the fact that the daughter needs the support more at the time, and rightyfully.
So Yes, Bijoy is emotional about his daughter but he is not one-dimensional and irrational like Dev/Ishwari. When Dev fails Sona, each time he did, Bijoy flared up vehemently because he, as a father, just knew Dev wasn't the right guy for Sona...he clearly knew how Dev and Ishwari were, and when he sees those fears coming true, he goes into an "I knew this idiot would do this!!" mode.
So yeah, this is my take on it.😛
Edited by gravity23 - 8 years ago
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