A Story!!! - Page 4

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

There are some home truths which every girl in India was taught at least when I was of marriagable age :

1. It takes years of sacrifices to build a stable relationship.

2. all guys lean towards their own family in the beginning. So stay quite, be respectful towards everyone, keep your inlaws happy. Slowly and steadily your husband will start loving and trusting you more than his family. One day you will mean the world to him but you have to show tons of patience for that.

3. Even if you are as educated as your husband, let your career take a backseat. Your income is supposed to be supporting. Don't be very ambitious. Sacrifice when needed for the sake of children and family.

If one looks closely these advices are not wrong. I have seen my sisters and peers following them. Yes a few years painful life has to be borne but it ensures a very happy and mentally satisfying balance life in which there is genuine love and respect. Anti depressants and psychologists are never needed.

But then it needs to be evaluated on a case to case basis as to whether such sacrifices are worth it? I struggled for several years in my marriage applying these same principles but then ultimately had to give up. I had a neighbour whose husband had an extra marital affair but her parents were not allowing a divorce citing ghar ki izzat. Ultimately she was murdered.

So then what is the acid test for determining whether the relationship is worth sacrificing or not: it's only and only the husband. If he is a decent human being only then it's worth fighting for your marriage. however crooked the In-laws might be, they will ultimately come around if husband is good.

In this case the husband himself is a lying cheating weakling who just doesn't love his wife enough to care for her feelings or take a stand for her. Why then does Sonakshi have to struggle so much to make his family happy or gain their acceptance?

When the end goal itself is an utter waste, why undertake the journey?

Originally posted by: pkbdas61

👏👏

Precisely what i meant by the - ""living dead""

Originally posted by: diyah_us

awesome post tia. very apt for this serial

Originally posted by: tia.o

I don't know. I just read about the romance and cringed. I kept thinking about a movie I saw (an older movie), where a Zaminder had a mistress. And as old Bollywood style, the wife was a witch and the mistress had a heart of Gold. I forgot the name of the movie. Anyhow, both the wife and mistress had a son each. The wife insulted the mistress publicly and humiliated her. The mistress went home crying. The mistress's son vows revenge. In the meanwhile, the Zaminder comes to the mistress and pacifies her, sleeps with her, gets her pregnant again (this time a girl) but while the mistress was being insulted publicly, the zaminder was standing with "woe-is-me" expression watching silently. Yet expected to sleep with her once she was done crying.

Sounds familiar?

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

There are some home truths which every girl in India was taught at least when I was of marriagable age :

1. It takes years of sacrifices to build a stable relationship.

It does takes years to build a stable relationship and I know for a fact it is a work in progress and never ends because we enter different stages in our relationship. I wouldn't call it sacrifice but a lot of give and take sometimes more from one person

2. all guys lean towards their own family in the beginning. So stay quite, be respectful towards everyone, keep your inlaws happy. Slowly and steadily your husband will start loving and trusting you more than his family. One day you will mean the world to him but you have to show tons of patience for that.

I would say there is some truth to this because in India the girl moves in to the boys family and so changes happen more for the woman than the man so it would seem sometimes that the guy leans towards their family. On the same count the woman would not have fully accepted the new family so can get defensive regarding their family . It takes effort from both Man and woman to accept ones family as their own sometimes it is a beautiful relationship sometimes just cordial

3. Even if you are as educated as your husband, let your career take a backseat. Your income is supposed to be supporting. Don't be very ambitious. Sacrifice when needed for the sake of children and family.

Let me tell you a personal story of mine. I had a masters from India but was born with a silver spoon did not do anything just aimlessly enjoyed life and the luxuries it brought with it. When I got married I really did not have a career just a job at the florist shop my mother owned pretty much did nothing there too. My husband worked in the US and I moved here and was shocked I had to do all the house work and did not even think of a career that is where my husband told me that me having a career or not is my personal choice , he can support me financially but if I wanted to have one he would encourage me ..so what I am saying is I was not ambitious , my career did not take off until I had my second child but now my husband is retired and I am the one with a booming career so some times it is not about sacrifice but just adjusting to times.

If one looks closely these advices are not wrong. I have seen my sisters and peers following them. Yes a few years painful life has to be borne but it ensures a very happy and mentally satisfying balance life in which there is genuine love and respect. Anti depressants and psychologists are never needed.

But then it needs to be evaluated on a case to case basis as to whether such sacrifices are worth it? I struggled for several years in my marriage applying these same principles but then ultimately had to give up. I had a neighbour whose husband had an extra marital affair but her parents were not allowing a divorce citing ghar ki izzat. Ultimately she was murdered.

So then what is the acid test for determining whether the relationship is worth sacrificing or not: it's only and only the husband. If he is a decent human being only then it's worth fighting for your marriage. however crooked the In-laws might be, they will ultimately come around if husband is good.

In this case the husband himself is a lying cheating weakling who just doesn't love his wife enough to care for her feelings or take a stand for her. Why then does Sonakshi have to struggle so much to make his family happy or gain their acceptance?

When the end goal itself is an utter waste, why undertake the journey?

AMEN to this life is a journey where both partners look towards the same direction the path may twist and turn but the journey is great even with ups and downs because you have someone who will always have your back

Originally posted by: Rithu0203

Tia, really like your stories and examples you cite, perfect timing..😊

Originally posted by: gemini54

Tia sad story maybe with truths to it

Payal I love what you wrote my thoughts

Originally posted by: Shilky88

Nice story!

I feel extremely sad while reading it.

at times it gets extremely and painfully difficult for me to express my reactions and anger(specifically) when I listen/hear such stories about how one woman treats another woman.

I have seen many people around me who thinks that if they cannot fight and eradicate the bad things happening in our society then let everybody else falls a victim of such practices.

Believe it or not but they take pleasure doing so.

As an individual I can at least and at most change myself, my thinking , my perspective if I cannot change the whole.society as after all I am also a minute but an important component that makes up the whole society.

Let me be the change first and others will eventually follow if I am standing up for the right thing.

@The mother didn't like women

Did you mean to say that his mother dint like any woman in general or that woman in his son's life specifically?

If it is the former then thats absolutely true in Ishwari's case.