Dev doesn't love Sona enough

Page

Next Last

_Payalj_

@_Payalj_

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Will tell a real personal incident first.

On my son's insistence I had gotten a puppy. But I really loved him a lot. Called him my child.

But then I fell ill. It wasn't a two day illness but the sort which made it very difficult for me to take him for his daily walk as he had become a huge dog.

My son was too lazy to do the job. So ultimately I gave him away to a person who liked him a lot and had a bitch.

Even if I was ill I never stopped cooking or running around for my son. I could have mandated my son to take care of the dog as he himself had got him in the first place but that would have entailed punishment, harsh words and force and I didn't want to do it to my son.

I still love my dog a lot. I still cry when I remember him, I still pray for him everyday.

Can one see any parallel in my behaviour towards my dog and Dev's behaviour towards Sona? is he not behaving with her exactly the same way.

He loves her a lot but the love is not enough. It is not enough for him to inconvenience, hurt or deny his mother. He has taken her as a life partner, has vowed to cherish her and protect her but treats her like a beloved pet whose happiness and well being comes after the happiness and we'll being of people he truly loves.

He might love Sona more than himself but he doesn't love her equal to his mother

In other words he doesn't love Sona enough

Quote

Frequent Posters

Pehchaan.Kaun

@Pehchaan.Kaun

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

Payal, it's a heart-wrenching story, I know what dogs mean 💔.

And couldn't have come up with a better parallel than this. This is exactly what Sona is for Dev. Too dear as long as it doesn't come in an expense to his already comfortable life, love, family etc. The moment it does, he will not take a second to disown her. He has done that earlier, he will definitely do it again since there is no growth in his character.

At least you must have taken hell lot of time to convince yourself to do this. This might not be 5 secs decisions which Dev takes in matters concerning Sonakshi.

P.S. - Happy to hear the dog got a companion too 😳. Can we call it female dog, 'bitch' sounds I donno not good may be 😆. Hope you are happy to see the dog happy. 😳

Edited by Pehchaan.Kaun - 8 years ago

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

No payal, he does not. And he says it and sona acknowledges it.

Sona is the 2nd most important woman in this world for him. Sona thanks Ishwari for sharing her son with her

That has always been a problem in this marriage. A man shouldn't compare his mother and wife at all. They have a diffeernt place in his life. And a woman shouldn't think that her mother in law shares her son with her. Because the mother and wife have different places in a man's life. Relationships aren't black and white where you can put them in some pecking order.

As for your example payal, the pet and your child held different places in your life. Again you can't order them. Had your child been able to take care of the pet you would have asked him to do so. It was in the pet's best interest that someone else took care of him

Edited by thedramaqueen - 8 years ago

Quote

_Payalj_

@_Payalj_

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun
Payal, it's a heart-wrenching story, I know what dogs mean 💔.

And couldn't have come up with a better parallel than this. This is exactly what Sona is for Dev. Too dear as long as it doesn't come in an expense to his already comfortable life, love, family etc. The moment it does, he will not take a second to disown her. He has done that earlier, he will definitely do it again since there is no growth in his character.

At least you must have taken hell lot of time to convince yourself to do this. This might not be 5 secs decisions which Dev takes in matters concerning Sonakshi.

P.S. - Happy to hear the dog got a companion too 😳. Can we call it female dog, 'bitch' sounds I donno not good may be 😆. Hope you are happy to see the dog happy. 😳

Yes it was a female dog of the same breed - Labrador and they were non vegetarians also. This is what I convince myself with every day.

And yes you are right about Dev. Bijoy understands him perfectly well. That is why Dev walked off when Bijoy was saying these things. He could have taken the phone from Sona and reassured Bijoy. But I guess he couldn't lie in front of a person who understands him so well.

Quote

_Payalj_

@_Payalj_

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen
No payal, he does not. And he says it and sona acknowledges it.
Sona is the 2nd most important woman in this world for him. Sona thanks Ishwari for sharing her son with her

That has always been a problem in this marriage. A man shouldn't compare his mother and wife at all. They have a diffeernt place in his life. And a woman shouldn't think that her mother in law shares her son with her. Because the mother and wife have different places in a man's life. Relationships aren't black and white where you can put them in some pecking order.

As for your example payal, the pet and your child held different places in your life. Again you can't order them. Had your child been able to take care of the pet you would have asked him to do so. It was in the pet's best interest that someone else took care of him

That sums up the entire problem in this relationship. It is a tiered relationship.

Elders in my family always say - har rishte ki ek maryada hoti hai aur har rishte ko us maryada main rakha jaata hai.

Means every relationship has a boundary and every relationship should be kept within that boundary.

Dev and Ishwari's relationship has no boundaries and taints every other relationship of both of them.

Hence the permanent colossal mess

Quote

Kamal kulshreshta

@srilotus

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

i don't know wat to say abt ur story as i m not at all a animal lover though i worship " Gau Mata" .

So ,its little difficult for me to understand ur pain.

I am not an emotional person(but i luv my family,my daughter,hubby) toh jis tarah se aap log post likhte ho main kabhi itna deeply na soch pati hun na kabhi comments mein bhi kuch khaas likh pati hun. Pehli baar Dev ka comparison dog se hua hai...lekin kuch theek hi lag raha hai.

I am not defending Dev, but Sona kitni sahi lag rahi hai...she is only thinking abt her selfish/ mean mil.

Usne kya soch ke Dev se shadi kar li.

nice post.

Quote

Tinkerfairy

@Tinkerfairy

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Trust and respect hi nahi Hain iss so called "lou" main .bahaut pehle I had make post about how love is not enough, it requires trust and respect to sustain .here dev didn't have trust in their relationship ,so he chose easy way out by hiding truth from her .upar se uski feelings ko respect nahi karta because he would have never given her false hope despite knowing ke she can't become mother.Pata nahi kis angle se as he selfless love lagta Hain logo ko😆😆

Quote

thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

That sums up the entire problem in this relationship. It is a tiered relationship.

Elders in my family always say - har rishte ki ek maryada hoti hai aur har rishte ko us maryada main rakha jaata hai.

Means every relationship has a boundary and every relationship should be kept within that boundary.

Dev and Ishwari's relationship has no boundaries and taints every other relationship of both of them.

Hence the permanent colossal mess

Precisely. And before this track, I used to think Dev is in denial about his mother's feelings and thus keeps telling his wife that everyone of his family member loves her. Only now have I understood that Dev knew this all along and kept saying this to Sona (that everyone loves her) because he could see how affected Sona was by his mother's behaviour. He was trying to fix this problem in their marriage (but not in the right manner if you ask me)

Quote

_Payalj_

@_Payalj_

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: srilotus
i don't know wat to say abt ur story as i m not at all a animal lover though i worship " Gau Mata" .
So ,its little difficult for me to understand ur pain.
I am not an emotional person(but i luv my family,my daughter,hubby) toh jis tarah se aap log post likhte ho main kabhi itna deeply na soch pati hun na kabhi comments mein bhi kuch khaas likh pati hun. Pehli baar Dev ka comparison dog se hua hai...lekin kuch theek hi lag raha hai.
I am not defending Dev, but Sona kitni sahi lag rahi hai...she is only thinking abt her selfish/ mean mil.
Usne kya soch ke Dev se shadi kar li.

nice post.

I didn't compare Dev to a dog. What I meant was that Dev's love for Sona is on the lowest pecking order.

Sona is wrong thinking only about Ishwari's happiness but then she has been systematically trained to think that her relationships continuation depends upon the goodwill of ishwari.

The way we react depends upon our sub conscious and Sona's sub conscious knows that Dev can easily dump her again if Ishwari pulls up another stunt.

It is not really Ishwari that is so important for Sona, it is Dev.

But why Sona is not ready for letting Dev go if this happens is something even I am not understanding. Why for her, being with Dev has become more important than her self respect, her family?

A love which leaches your sense of self, which makes you live in constant fear off rejection is just not worth it.

Edited by _Payalj_ - 8 years ago

Quote

Tinkerfairy

@Tinkerfairy

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

I didn't compare Dev to a dog. What I meant was that Dev's love for Sona is on the lowest pecking order.

Sona is wrong thinking only about Ishwari's happiness but then she has been systematically trained to think that her relationships continuation depends upon the goodwill of ishwari.

The way we react depends upon our sub conscious and Sona's sub conscious knows that Dev can easily dump her again if Ishwari pulls up another stunt.

It is not really Ishwari that is so important for Sona, it is Dev.

But why Sona is not ready for letting Dev go if this happens is something I am not understanding. Why for her, being with Dev has become more important than her self respect, her family?

A love which leaches your sense of self, which makes you live in constant fear off rejection is just not worth it.

perfect quote👏

Quote

1 2 3 4 5

Dev doesn't love Sona enough

Related Topics

Explore Topics