Is he? Really a criminal?

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mena_k

@mena_k

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#21

Its not his right and place to decide on behalf of Sonakshi to what choices she may or may not want to make with respect to her body and health. His intentions are meaningless in this context. To even plan for such a thing is plain wrong and will be considered a "intentional act" under criminal offense. He has already become a criminal by signing legal papers to execute his non-ethical plan.

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404_NotFound

@404_NotFound

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

I would like to share a real life incident here where a very close relative of mine was suffering from bone cancer and for a long time it was not diagnosed,everyone thought it was some slip disk or something which is causing him back pain .Top doctors were unable to diagonise and when they did it was in 4th stage .Doctors advised the family not to reveal everything to him suddenly because if a patient loses hope then no treatment is 100%effective .The family decided to keep it a secret for how much ever time it was possible and treatment was started .Since his blood count was low chemo was not advisable so they had alternate treatment to reduce pain till blood count was good enough for chemo .For a month or so the patient had no idea what he was suffering from and his family took decisions on his behalf so that they can keep him away from pain and disappointment.The family went through hell as they could not share their pain openly with the fear that news will spread and will reach the patient .

Can I say the family were bunch of criminals because they agreed for treated without his knowledge .No I can't call them criminal and maybe I would have done the same if I was in their position .No one from the patient relatives (I was from the patient side ) side blamed the family when truth was out as everyone understood the circumstances under which they had to take this decision .

I can see some parallel though it's not the same between my personal experience and current track .I would not call Dev a criminal for subjecting Sona to treatment for her betterment.Its not like the treatment would have major side effect and Sona is unaware of it like loosing the baby if she was pregnant.Yes , I will call him insensitive for giving her hopes that she is pregnant when she is not.He could have avoided that .

I wonder sometimes ,can we lead a life by following rules of book .Oh as per rule of book person cannot be unreasonable,cannot lose temper ,must be right always and truthful .I am not referring to this incident alone but to all the circumstances shown in the serial .For ex :Dev started the fight so he should not sulk or except Sona to make up first.He should not lose his temper,Sona should not adjust because she is a doctor etc etc ...has anyone in this forum have led such life as I cannot imagine such a life .I have made mistakes ,I have apologized when I was not wrong to make peace ,I have hurt people due to my ego and certain times I have let it go giving priority to relationships over ego .Isnt this how a human is and no human can be right always .Some expect Sona and Dev not to make any mistakes .Being educated doesn't mean one cannot adjust in their personal life .Conpromises and adjustments are part of life and in every relationship you have to certain extent .(Sorry for going off track but this was in my mind for a long time )

Sorry for my long post

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#23

Thanks for sharing the incident and I am sorry your family had to face all this

However like you said, life isn't black and white. In Dev's case, it's not like someone is terminally ill and the fake baby news will allow them to die in peace.

There are a lot of things he could have done. I think I posted on this thread itself.

But looking just at this one incident of bullying a doctor into starting a treatment without his wife's consent- if I was him, I would tell sonakshi. They can continue with the lie to Ishwari for few more days and either Ishwari can indeed change or they can both see for themselves what a mess Ishwari is making out of their lives. I know the spanner in the works is sonakshi is satyawadi harishchandra. But still, firstly this track is seeming very unscientific(my only hope is that he will make love to her, she will fall pregnant this time and then the pills she takes will allow the pregnancy to continue)... and secondly, there is no reason why sonakshi can't be told. Like in your case, the doctor counselled your family and you guys took a collective decision. In this case the doctor is also advising him against this step.

In my opinion, he isn't doing anything experimental or dangerous. But his in-her-senses wife still needs to know the truth. This is a copy of what happened at breakup. His reasons were valid, his approach wasn't

As for using baby as a pawn... a lot of families' dynamics change after the baby arrives. I won't judge people who go down that route. To each it's own. In this instance because it's fiction and I can judge as a viewer, devakshi need to spend some more time together having constructive discussions but overall they seem like a sensible couple. Last week has left me worried for them. They are both in lala land one after the othe .

As for who should say sorry first - we all know what that happy marriages are based on respect and compromise. Each of us has been on both sides of the fence.

Originally posted by: yyy
I would like to share a real life incident here where a very close relative of mine was suffering from bone cancer and for a long time it was not diagnosed,everyone thought it was some slip disk or something which is causing him back pain .Top doctors were unable to diagonise and when they did it was in 4th stage .Doctors advised the family not to reveal everything to him suddenly because if a patient loses hope then no treatment is 100%effective .The family decided to keep it a secret for how much ever time it was possible and treatment was started .Since his blood count was low chemo was not advisable so they had alternate treatment to reduce pain till blood count was good enough for chemo .For a month or so the patient had no idea what he was suffering from and his family took decisions on his behalf so that they can keep him away from pain and disappointment.The family went through hell as they could not share their pain openly with the fear that news will spread and will reach the patient .

Can I say the family were bunch of criminals because they agreed for treated without his knowledge .No I can't call them criminal and maybe I would have done the same if I was in their position .No one from the patient relatives (I was from the patient side ) side blamed the family when truth was out as everyone understood the circumstances under which they had to take this decision .

I can see some parallel though it's not the same between my personal experience and current track .I would not call Dev a criminal for subjecting Sona to treatment for her betterment.Its not like the treatment would have major side effect and Sona is unaware of it like loosing the baby if she was pregnant.Yes , I will call him insensitive for giving her hopes that she is pregnant when she is not.He could have avoided that .

I wonder sometimes ,can we lead a life by following rules of book .Oh as per rule of book person cannot be unreasonable,cannot lose temper ,must be right always and truthful .I am not referring to this incident alone but to all the circumstances shown in the serial .For ex :Dev started the fight so he should not sulk or except Sona to make up first.He should not lose his temper,Sona should not adjust because she is a doctor etc etc ...has anyone in this forum have led such life as I cannot imagine such a life .I have made mistakes ,I have apologized when I was not wrong to make peace ,I have hurt people due to my ego and certain times I have let it go giving priority to relationships over ego .Isnt this how a human is and no human can be right always .Some expect Sona and Dev not to make any mistakes .Being educated doesn't mean one cannot adjust in their personal life .Conpromises and adjustments are part of life and in every relationship you have to certain extent .(Sorry for going off track but this was in my mind for a long time )

Sorry for my long post

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#24

Here is my link on another thread. Things Dev can do to

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4769808&PID=139138192&#p139138192

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YASHO1997

@YASHO1997

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#25

If all of you are giving examples... I would give one too. I think many of you have seen Grey's anatomy. Dr. Bailey had once given some treatment to a child who was dying when the parents had strictly told her not to. But she had secretly given it. And the child had gotten well. Here I know she is not dying but the point here is our emotions towards the character. Would we really call Dr. Bailey a criminal and if not why?. In fact that was an experimental procedure and here we don't even know what he is thought of doing.

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idreamy

@idreamy

Beginner

Posted: 8 years ago

#26

Sona is not dying. She is in excellent health, therefore no one has the right to decide for herself, be it is her husband. No doctor in the world will advise or agree to fertility treatment after being married for a mere 3 months. Both Dev and the doctor can be charged with a criminal offense even if nothing wrong with the fertility treatment as they are trying to inject Sona without her consent.

What CV are trying to show is a complete nonsense. There is no such thing as taking any oral pills for getting pregnant. I am not a doctor, but I went through fertility treatment for years. Just to give you a brief history; we tried to get pregnant for 2 years on our own. Nothing happened, and our doctor recommended charting temperatures, using ovulation kits and having sex at the right time etc. After 4 years, I got pregnant twice, but miscarried both times, 1st at 11 weeks and a year later at 5 weeks. Completely heartbroken, I went to see different specialists and tried all sorts of tests for myself and my husband. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong, said may be the sperm count is a tiny bit on the low side for my husband. He was told to try a bunch of different things to try to get his count high. We then tried IUI 3 times (injecting my husband's semen directly inside me. Nothing worked. So we went the IVF route. Let me tell you how difficult, painful and stressful that is. It started with my period, and then ultrasound scans, I had to inject medicines directly into my back (self-injections) until egg retrieval, which is a minor surgery itself...I guess you get the picture. As you can see, there is no way to do this procedure without Sona knowing about it. She will know even if she is not a doctor.

IVF has many complications associated with it. I developed big cysts on one of ovary and my doctor had to remove the ovary along with the cyst since the cyst were huge.

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