Today's topic is Determination.
Why I picked this as my topic. To know, keep reading.
Most parents teach their kids to have determination. Because it is one of the four pillars of success along with hard work, ambition and dedication.
We are told the story of Robinson Crusoe and the Spider. How a stranded Crusoe gives up and resigns to his fate to spend rest of his life in a deserted island when he watches a spider trying to climb a wall, over and over until it succeeds.
He sees that and thinks if a mere insect can have so much determination, then why can't he. So he tries harder over and over again and one day escapes the island.
Why is this relevant?
Well because imagine how you'd feel if you tried 9 times to do a task and then gave up and somehow realize that the 10th time you'd have succeeded?
You all have seen the spoiler where Dev calls Asha, Maa at his birthday.
Now imagine had Sonakshi just let that double standard go and resigned to it. Well, her family will always comes second in their life as priority and Dev's family will always come first in their priority.
That makes an unequal relationship and definitely not one where respect is flowing equal to both sides.
Is it necessary to call one's in-law as Mom and Dad? No.
For that matter it's not even necessary to call your own mother and dad, Mom and Dad or your aunt and uncle as aunt and uncle.
As some people pointed out, what does it matter as long as respect is there?
Well it matters.
If a woman gets married and calls her husband with all due respect, Daddy. Does it matter whether the respect, the actual relationship there?
If a man calls their aunty with all due respect, lover. Does it matter if the actual relationship is there?
I am giving an extreme example, but made you cringe didn't it?
Precisely, my point!!! Words matter because the way you show respect is not only whether you are polite to someone or give them money in need, but also how you refer to them and treat them.
When we call a friend - best friend, they are not merely friends anymore. They are as dear to us as our own siblings.
When we call an in-law - Mom and Dad, we become their son/daughter. The one who can be comfortable with them and they can be comfortable with.
When we call a step-children - our children, they become on par with our own biological children who consider you as mother or father, not aunty and uncle.
See the difference?
Now people may call you stubborn with a negative connotation (But with a positive connotation if you are a man).
But why won't you be stubborn for something you strongly believe in? Why won't you be equally determined to get it no matter what you have to do and how long you have to work on it and any way you have to take to get you the desired result?
Of course you should keep at it. Because how else you will achieve your goal if you give up? Remember from the spider story, had Crusoe given up, he'd be still stuck in the rut without any change to their situation. And no, no one else will hand over your fair share to you without asking for it.
So ladies and gentlemen, be stubborn, be determined and go after what you want and never give up until you reach your goals. Nothing will feel as sweet when you finally achieve your target.
And nothing will feel as satisfying when people who took you for granted, never underestimate you or take you for granted again.
EDITED:
There is a lot to learn from this show.
An amazing husband who can't tolerate anyone hurting his wife's feelings even if it's his own son-in-law and pays him back with his own language without lowering his own dignity - Bijoy Bose.
A mother who raised a son and a daughter but never called one of them her life in front of the other making the other feel optional choice - Asha Bose.
A mother who understood the importance of daughter-in-law and actually has an only son whom she raised alone, but never let that relationship become a crutch - Dida
A man who learned a big lesson on equality and respect when he was at the receiving end of it and this lesson, he will never forget - Dev Dixit
A possessive mother who want her son to remain mother's boy who dances to her tune, yet takes offence when one calls him out on it - Ishwari Dixit.
She said when someone becomes mother, they'd understand.
No, Ishwari. Even when someone becomes a mother, they won't understand your kind of love.
Come and talk to the mothers in this forum. They know when to hold their child close and when to set them free to live their own life.
I bet you, they know more about being a mother than you do.
Precap: Sona is back to being Enemy no. 1 while she was trying to be Biwi no. 1.
Anupamaa
