Ishwari Brand Hypocrisy!!!

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#61

OMG, Payal. It's uncanny how similar your life had been to my mother. She did all of that too. She used to do full time job and every single housework. In those days, we didn't have debit card in India. Salary used to be paid by cheque or cash in an envelope. And my mother used to hand over everything to my dad and he used to take money from her own money to just give her enough for her bus fare. I was damn sure from that time that no one will control me to that extent.

Later I learned when I was volunteering at a woman's shelter that people who are sociopath, they start to control their victim first economically so that they worry how they will survive if they leave their abuser, then they starts to isolate them from their loved ones and friends so that the victim has no one to reach out to for help making them even more dependent on their spouse, having children is another way of control because a lot of woman put up with a lot more than they themselves would for the sake of their children. Everyone of them matched my mother's situation.

May be that's why I don't have patience because I learned at a very early age that people really don't change. So hoping one day a change will happen is an uphill battle with no ending. Hugs to you my dear.

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

Honestly I don't know whether Sona's patience will work or not. I struggled for several years in my marriage. Gave my salary account debit card to my husband, had to beg for pocket money or even buying new clothes. Used to polish his shoes- as per his mother men are not supposed to do such menial jobs and why waste money on a servant.

All in the hope that he will understand one day.

Believe me Nothing helps if the husband doesn't have a brain. Since it is a show and supposed to have a happy ending I am hopeful and that is why I am watching

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#62

Payal is right. Don't jump to conclusions too fast that all men are bad. And like she said if a man mistreats his mother for you, that's not good either.

The thing to keep in mind here is balance. A man should not let his wife be insulted by his mother nor let his mother be insulted by his wife. Because every relationship should have its dignity and respect.

I am married to a wonderful guy. I was very honest with him before my marriage that I expect from him the exact same treatment to me and my family as he wants from me to him and his family.

My husband is not Indian so we don't live with his parents. But it does not mean that we don't love our family (both sides) and as well as take care of them.

I made sure that he understood that if I take care of his respect then he has to take care of mine. My insult is his insult, my disrespect is his disrespect. But then this is a lesson every man in western world knows. They don't think that if their wives are getting insulted, then it's not their headache. So I did not ask for anything he was not already willing to give me.

You are very young. I am more than twice your age. So here's my advice for you. Love alone is never enough. Love has to be accompanied by respect for each other and one's own self, honour each other as you'd honour every other family member and dignity for self and your spouse. Otherwise it doesn't take long for love to turn bitter. All the best.

Originally posted by: AngelsFlyAlone

OMG THIS IS SO SAD... My love and hugs are with you! Hope you're in better times now. OMG these things convince me to never ever get married. I am actually 14 so its still damn early but Jesus this is so sad and heart wrenching. God bless <3

Rules for my potential future husbands (whom I may never marry)
1. I ain't changing my last name
2. I ain't your personal property
3. I am human too, I will focus on my career and if needed, I will leave you
4. Keep your mom away
5. We won't live in the same house anyway lmao

Any man who thinks they are superior to women deserves zero respect.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#63

Absolutely. I also want post break up Sonakshi back. That woman was kick a$$. Who is this moron who has taken her place? Her dignity during break up track was a pleasure to watch and her quite strength was stuff woman empowerment was made off. This is not the Sonakshi we saw then. Alien abduction seems to be more and more a possibility.

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun
Since I don't waste the time anymore on watching the shit, I am going through the thread each page and it's so soothing 😳.

For me, it's becoming difficult to continue watching this negative crap with the hope of forever. Dev broke up with Sona in some 100+ episodes, and this is 80+ episodes after that, character gone down to drain. He despises me like no other hero. In fact I haven't seen such spineless character in Indian television ever (yes, Anurag Basu finally comes as runner up 😆).

And don't even allow me to go on Ms.Sonakshi Bose 😲 One awesome female character in Indian Television, today when I see her I cannot differentiate between her and Gopi Bahu or Simar 🥱 Call me dumb to even THINK that it would be Sonakshi first to notice Ishwari's psychotic problem and working towards it. Really not anymore I can hold my hopes high for this.

The breakup track, amidst all pain, had a Sonakshi who held her high and rightfully gave it back to Ishwari everytime she came to clash with her 👏 Her small sentences like 'Who talks like that?' or 'I am too young to judge whose happiness this would bring out' or 'I was Dev's choice' etc used to be rockstar lines I was really F-A-N of this girl 👏. Today she goes asks others if Dev would like it or not ? She can't ask Dev herself ? 🥱

Nothing (past blah blah) can justify Ishwari's cheap torturous behaviour.
Nothing (devotion/blindness towards Momma) can justify Dev's spineless and promise-breaking attitude.
Nothing (Patience/attempts to set foot) can justify Sona's muteness and throwing her self-respect to the nearby dump area.

All 3 lead characters gone haywire, so did my patience today. 👎🏼

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#64

Thank you. Ishwari was fine with Sonakshi until Dev fell in love with her. She still has no problem with her but whoever Dev pays attention to becomes her enemy. If Dev even paid more attention to Radha, Ishwari would turn against her as well. She even filters Dev's communication to Neha because Neha has the same bond with Dev having gone through the same experience as a child and she could become more important than Ishwari.

For a woman, it's hard for us to see one woman trying so hard to belong and getting rewarded by humiliation and insults for no fault of her own right in front of her husband and he is oblivious to everything as if they are discussing the weather.

But then if Sona doesn't react to insult, then why would Dev rock the boat himself? He gets to be goody two shoes in front of his family and wife at the same time. The reason he runs after Ishwari because she not only squeaks and whines but also shows attitude. The wheel that doesn't squeak doesn't get oiled. That's the fact of life. Why fix what isn't APPEAR to be broken?

Originally posted by: HGranger
hi...firstly i really like your posts about this show bcz when i read them i feel like i've vented my own frustration out.
secondly yeah. i am so angry about ishwari and dev's characters. its probably what happens to many women on a daily basis but ishwari is beyond hope.
getting a little personal here, my dadi was also not nice to my mom when we lived in a joint family and all sorts of politics happened but at least she updated my mom about whats happening. here ish is totally treating sona like a toy by just letting her exist in the house and nothing else. nothing. she wont let her cook talk, inform her about marriages, inform her about divorces, take her (sensible) advices and respect toh bohot dur ki baat hai. this is so not the ishwari we saw in the beginning. the one who bonded with sona. now toh she calls her also sonakshi. and i hate that the cvs are kinda making ishwari so unreasonable for trps.
also am i the only person who's mad at dev for not telling sona about ria's rishta ? cant he see that his entire family (except mama, ria and nikki) are continuously taunting sona. can't he help her feel like family ??? (no he cant. he can only apologise to his mother and do nothing else). i mean this is becoming a terrible habit. pehle he's all insensitive to sona's problems. viewers get mad. sona becomes distant. then dev mannaos her by acting like a lovelorn puppy. viewers aww over him and forgive him. sona forgives him and the cycle repeats. so yeah i guess i'm mad at ishwari, dev, cvs, everyone.

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varsha

@varshu_018

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#65

thts her character but not informing sona about riya proposal and the coming guests was very bad

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#66

Your words reminded me of something I read. We all have heard about Swami Vivekananda. He had a guru called Ramakrishna who guided him into spiritual path. Anyways, when Swamiji became monk, one day some people were mocking his attire and shaved head. He was silent because as a monk he gave up on his anger.

So Ramakrishna asked, Naren (that was his real name), why did not you say anything to them.

He replied, But Thakur (that's what he used to call his guru), I am a monk. How can I say anything?

Ramakrishna said, Naren, being a monk doesn't mean that you gave up on your dignity, it just means that you harm none. As long as your human body hosts your immortal soul, it hosts God. Not honouring that pure self is dishonouring God.. Be like a poisonless snake. Hiss but don't strike. That hiss more often than not will force people to mind their attitude around you.

Every time Sona hissed, the Dixit family kept their mouth shut. That's what I wanted her to do. Most often strike is not necessary like Neha going straight to divorce.

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen
Payal, while I agree that sona is settling and trying to win everyone's hearts, she is over doing it and setting up some very wrong examples for future. She did the same when she came to work for these folks too. But she used to set clear boundaries with her boss aka Dev. She used to take a lot of crap from Ishwari and mamiji. But used to be very clear with Dev
This time, like many of us said, she trivialised her own issue by bringing room decor and bed space into the discussion. She doesn't need to bitch about her in laws with Dev. But she should surely keep communication open and clear.

And if she is trying to settle in the new place, staying out of Neha's business after giving it an honest attempt is what she should do. To get respect she needs to set boundaries too.

Our older generation had much more patience. But Sona is making mistakes even they wouldn't make. Sona isn't talking to Dev enough.

The only saving grace is that Dev was kind to Sona. I hope it's continues beyond the bedroom. This endless cycle of arguments and patchup is tiring. It's like other shows have 4 weddings of the same couple, this one has 2 arguments and patch ups every week.

This has been said before too... people storming into their bedroom even if the door is open is so odd. Why can't they call out their names as they are approaching the newly weds' room. This is not how real life families live. Come on.

My own mother would have said the same as yours. They always tell us to not answer back but to keep our head held high.

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fanktlk

@fanktlk

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#67

Originally posted by: _Payalj_
I will again quote my mother here who always insists that what cvs are showing is right. Please note that whatever is written after this are her comments not mine.
Some of her comments when I was abusing the show yesterday
1. Sona is not being idiotic. Woh apne pair jama rahi hai

2. Her husband will slowly start believing everything she says because he knows she never hurts or insults anyone even when she is being insulted.

3. Ishwari's mask will slowly fall in front of Dev as he has started feeling something amiss in her behaviour.

4. Sonakshi will give them all back very soon and very strongly just let her be sure of her position once. She will suddenly speak up strongly and they will not know what to do. And that time Dev will not say her anything because he would know how good his wife is by that time and has seen how his family behaves.

5. What they are showing happens in most families in India. It is sa totally natural cycle.

One more incident that she quoted in support was when Dev beat up the boys during their night out. After that Sona came and sat in the car. But the moment Dev said he has to call mummy her expression changed and she immediately walked out. This means that she understands everything, is hurt by it but knows her relationship is neither old nor strong enough for her to complain about these issues. That is why instead of pointing out the real problems she mentioned the room. She is simply bidding her time and acting mature something which Neha failed to do and therefore her relationship is in divorce court

Why do I agree with her? I would do the same. What do you want to achieve? To separate out of the relationship then fight back now would be the option. Given the Dev we have today. Because today Dev still wont listen to a word against his mom.

But if my husband was like Dev and i still love him and want to live with him, I would Test waters, test the depth and then take a firm stand openly and with my head held high.

What Sona needs is Dev's support. She is emotionally dependent on him. Remember the paratha feeding incident. It was hint enough. Dev only needs to acknowledge that Sona is treated as an outsider and Sona will give it back to everyone.

Even I noticed the minute Dev said I need to inform mom, Sona got out of the car and when after that Dev came back to her, she obliged and started talking. She didn't go into the depth as the root cause is Dev's mom... But he needs to see it himself for him to believe it.

Edited by fanktlk - 9 years ago

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#68

We need to remind ourselves of Dev's reaction on the phone before Ishwari took the sleeping pills.. Sona had said to him that baba felt that Ishwari wasn't ready for the alliance (yet?). Dev had blasted sona (for the first time he had actually spoken to her like that since their confession).

So, I totally get why Sona is careful(As much as we want to see Dev improve, this woman madly loves her husband) and I see no point actually in expecting your spouse to handle your relationships with your ILs. My personal experience is that when I dealt with my ILs myself and let my husband deal with his, my married life improved. We both have each other's support and that confidence is there but we don't defend each other with ILs.

So, yes, Dev wants to stay out of Sona's relationships is fine.

However, Dev still needs to be kind towards her outside the bedroom too. He may choose not to reply back to Neha or RR or Dadibua or anyone... (He did speak up at muh dikhai for some reason)... but he can still support Sona (a bit more?) and save her from the Ishwari wrath.. Why does Sona need to be there for Riya's event if Ishwari only and only cares for Dev? starry-eyed?

That, I am hoping, will happen now. Not the infinite loop of arguments and patch-ups

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#69

Sona is responsible for her own situation. Agreed. She can't expect anything to change if her silence is easing up Dev and his family's life and conscience. They can convince themselves, well, if it doesn't matter to her why not keep using her as punching bag?

Originally posted by: Divine-Pearl
Entire family is hypocrite
There is not even sane person, not even Mamaji.

Greed is their specialty. Among all, if there's anyone who is likable, I would say Vicky and GKB, at least they are not fooling themselves, looking in mirror they would drop their sanskari image, and not try to lie.

Entire family keep licking ass of Ishwari becoz she's very close to the one who is giving them luxuries, Ishwari cant see anyone even roaming around her money producing machine, not even his wife.

I dont know what to say about sona? A perfect doormat? She has all qualities to be a doormat. She has stopped taking stand for herself, ended up becoming typica Gopi bahu who would stand and take shit from entire in law family.

Dev is a spineless and dumb without any doubt. How on earth a successful businessman can't see there's something abnormal about his mom? All his romance make me feel like he is horny, nothing else.

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Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 9 years ago

#70

I blamed Dev for not standing up for Sona and her family in Friday's episode. But here's the thing, she can't expect to improve her situation if she keeps on trivialising the serious issues. If a behaviour is unsuitable in front of public, then it is unsuitable, period.

Would Radha taunt Sona in front of public? No. She knows that other people will call out on harassment. But no one points it out at Dixit family, not even Sona so it continues and it will continue to grow.

Like you, I also sometimes ask my husband about his opinion on something I bought. But the ultimate decision is mine. If I won't have things I want at my home, then would I keep them at my neighbour's home? That's ridiculous.

Originally posted by: diyah_us
bang on post. all rules r for sona & dev & everyone else r free of eshwaris rules.
eshwari said to solve their problems there itself & go maika. really??? will she let
them solve their problems. ulta she will increase their problems. bcos she cares a damn about
their relationship.

Neha also is blind just like dev. cant she see that inspite of money & all sona is getting
getting any respect in her in-laws house including from her. on;y nikki & ria care about
sona but they cant really stand up for her.
it was too stupid of sona to ask everyone in the family whether dev liked jhoola.
he said he liked & there ends the matter. he may not show excitement bcos he himself
is not interested in jhoola so its ok.

many times I bring a dress & wear it & excitedly ask husband & say see isn't it very good.
he says its ok. so its ok. no big deal. sona should understand that.

and sona has stopped giving back to radharani. I guess after her marriage day her brains
were sent back along with the presents including fish.😡

with radharanis repeated saying to Vicky I feel elena might very soon join sona in that house.

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