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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: tia.o
Just like you, watching a woman going through insults for no fault of her own is not something I am comfortable with, hence the posts. I wish Sona listened to her dad and not her mother.

Recall what she told Dev when they were having coffee one evening - Listen to your heart. This girl believes in Fairy tales and believes love is beautiful. She was miserable without Dev even though she was with a guy who was perfect for her on paper. Its all about love

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sun29

@sun29

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

Recall what she told Dev when they were having coffee one evening - Listen to your heart. This girl believes in Fairy tales and believes love is beautiful. She was miserable without Dev even though she was with a guy who was perfect for her on paper. Its all about love

that is the bane and boon of it...it is all about love for her hence when he said he was difficult to live with ,her heart overwhelming with love for him agreed to be with him ...even now it is all about love for her laced with the constant fear of being dumped again ...hence her desperation in everything ...what she needs is to pour out her heart and cry ...she really need that if she has to realize what she is doing ...she is all lost in the mess right now...

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sun29

@sun29

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#33

Originally posted by: tia.o
Just like you, watching a woman going through insults for no fault of her own is not something I am comfortable with, hence the posts. I wish Sona listened to her dad and not her mother.

if bijoy was not overriding in his own emotions he could have made sona see things clearer...it was more of a man whose ego and pride was bruised than a father...and hence he could not pull back sona...asha must have thought that her love is strong enough to tackle everything given how she is aheart person more than mind...living in the bliss of her own wonderful family i doubt she can fathom anyone as utterly selfish...flawed yes but not to this extent...ishwari was her best mother performance during the whole wedding scenario enough to convince asha at some point ...only bijoy could see through the facade but he just could not be tactical ...

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dsr11

@dsr11

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#34

I am just talking from Dev's point of view. He might defend Sona against the whole world, but he wouldn't be able to stand up for her when it comes to his mother, his aunt and his sister, because he constantly feels the burden of indebtedness. He is made to feel that way by his family. He didn't say anything to Mami even when she blames his mother, because Eeshwari doesn't let him say anything out of her own burden of gratitude. NOPE, Sona doesn't have to put up with anything just because she is a wife/DIL . She should speak up for herself and she should question Dev about why he is making her feel inferior by not standing up for her. She must put Dev in a position where he has to stand up for her as well as himself.

Originally posted by: tia.o
The reason gender inequality comes in this situation because a woman never lives with her parents after marriage. Even if a man agrees to be Ghar Jamai, the woman's family are even more protective of his pride than anything else. Because a woman's family knows that if they insult their son-in-law, they will lose their daughter. Why doesn't a man's family think that if they mistreat their daughter-in-law, they will lose their son?

Absolutely right! I understand that society has double standards when it comes to its expectations from a man and a woman. But what I am saying is that Dev doesn't have that same bias. He is not saying that Sona has to put up with everything just because she is a woman. He doesn't seem to be a male chauvinist. He trusts women and respects them a lot, be it his mother, his sisters, his wife or even Tina.

Do you think loyalty to family is solely a man's prerogative? A woman is not loyal to her family? Her loyalty should automatically switch to her husband and his family the moment they get married?

Yes everyone must be loyal to one's family, but they shouldn't be so blinded that their loyalty is misused by their loved ones. That's why I am citing the example of a lot of women in entertainment field being misused by their parents by citing family loyalty. It can happen to any gender, be it male or female.

Then why should anyone want girls? Why should anyone educate them, raise them to the same standard as their son only to be the last thought in her mind as she gets married?

A man needs to take care of his family because he owes them for their upbringing and a woman needs to take care of a man's family and tolerate insult for the same reason?

Then why shouldn't a woman's family dump her in the garbage for being an ungrateful daughter who is just sucking out their love and care and isn't even taking care of them?

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pomegranate

@pomegranate

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: dsr11
I am just talking from Dev's point of view. He might defend Sona against the whole world, but he wouldn't be able to stand up for her when it comes to his mother, his aunt and his sister, because he constantly feels the burden of indebtedness. He is made to feel that way by his family. He didn't say anything to Mami even when she blames his mother, because Eeshwari doesn't let him say anything out of her own burden of gratitude. NOPE, Sona doesn't have to put up with anything just because she is a wife/DIL . She should speak up for herself and she should question Dev about why he is making her feel inferior by not standing up for her. She must put Dev in a position where he has to stand up for her as well as himself.

quite frankly, men like dev should not get married then. Yes he deserves happiness but clearly, even marriage will not make him happy because there is a laundry list of issues within him and his family that needs to be sorted out first.

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baijubavra

@baijubavra

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: dsr11
I am just talking from Dev's point of view. He might defend Sona against the whole world, but he wouldn't be able to stand up for her when it comes to his mother, his aunt and his sister, because he constantly feels the burden of indebtedness. He is made to feel that way by his family. He didn't say anything to Mami even when she blames his mother, because Eeshwari doesn't let him say anything out of her own burden of gratitude. NOPE, Sona doesn't have to put up with anything just because she is a wife/DIL . She should speak up for herself and she should question Dev about why he is making her feel inferior by not standing up for her. She must put Dev in a position where he has to stand up for her as well as himself.

Phir bacha kaun ? 😆 Bakee se toh Sona khud hee nipat legi?

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sun29

@sun29

Trailblazer

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: pomegranate

quite frankly, men like dev should not get married then. Yes he deserves happiness but clearly, even marriage will not make him happy because there is a laundry list of issues within him and his family that needs to be sorted out first.

so glad to see you around ...coming to the show...but the family especially ishwari refuses to even accept they have an issue...and true dev has been so pushed down by the indebtedness that it suffocates him into being guilty and taking drastic steps...the entire clan has major issues to be sorted out and sona entering the house seem to have triggered the insanity to another level...

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dsr11

@dsr11

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#38

Originally posted by: pomegranate

quite frankly, men like dev should not get married then. Yes he deserves happiness but clearly, even marriage will not make him happy because there is a laundry list of issues within him and his family that needs to be sorted out first.

Agree. But here in our story, Dev should thank his stars that he got married, that too, to a girl like Sona, who is raised with a strong sense of self. We can only pray to the Gods that she will be able to rub some of it on Dev... Eventually.😆

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dsr11

@dsr11

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: baijubavra
Phir bacha kaun ? 😆 Bakee se toh Sona khud hee nipat legi?

Aaju baaju aunties 😆

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pomegranate

@pomegranate

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#40

this strangely reminds of the US elections. trump's response to the leaked tapes: what I said was just locker room talk, but but but bill clinton said even worse things about women"

like seriously, if you want to deflect then use some other tactics.

just like sona's terrible decisions does not give dev a free pass. by defending her once, taking bijoy's "insults" marrying her despite her medical issues, and being kind to her family does not mean he has done his part to become a good husband.

pulling the feminist card does not absolve sona from her mistakes but as a woman, it hurts to see her cornered by bloodhounds for no fault of hers. that is why people are using that card, not ignoring her flaws.

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