Questions!!! - Page 3

Originally posted by: pomegranate

yeah but isn't it a very common mindset? us women are taught to tolerate, compromise, adjust, understand, be patient. there is no room for self respect because standing firm in the face of insults is what will make the marriage survive. but why should we bear the brunt? that too from people who are below human decency. Dev can stand quitely because he is indebted and under pressure, and it is sona's duty to understand, even though she is humiliated by lowlives everyday. like some say, headstrong women cannot make good wives. if that is the case, then ok fine I don't need to get married.

Originally posted by: Shlroy

Honestly I am not married and my family is not gender bias I am a Bengali living in UP. So I can only tell through my observation.

I am gonna tell u a real life incident, an acquaintance of mine, quite well off family and their son fell in love with a girl of their same community still his parents refused to get him married but the son stood up and did marry her anyway . but the afterthought of the mother is "us ladki ne mere bete ko phasa kiya"

Its very sad that in reality there is no concept of love before marriage still in many parts of India.

When it comes 2 Dev, I am not saying that shouting at sonakshi was correct, it is wrong but dev is character who does not know to balance he only knows extreme. But I think u r forgetting dev as a character he was always impulsive, emotionally weak, known for his outbursts. What I am saying what dev was shown in that scene was correct becoz he was on character but what he did i.e. took out his anger at sonakshi was outright wrong.

I guess I can only think why he did it...because ishwari made him feel guilty for being happy.

As for sona, its very sad and scary that still people think that women can only make a marriage successful when there r 2 parties present 😕

Originally posted by: baijubavra

She does comment on other family members as well including Ishwari ! Remeber, no body gave any reaction on her ek myan mein do talwar comment also ( except for mamajee who just gave her a slight hush ) ! I beleive that Dixits just ignore GKB's stupid comments most of the times. Only ishwari sometimes says "Rehne dijiye na bhabhijee" . Dev fought back once when she directly insulted Sona for moping the wet kitchen floor but mamijee created a big scene afterwards ! Also, kiska black shadow does not always mean a new entry in the house, it can be any wedding guest also. She had already removed Neha out of the equation because she said that because of the black shadow, Neha had come home and was staying in her room. My point was that you just can't reply to the stupid comments each and every time and sometimes the best way is to just ignore those comments. One should keep these stupid people in check by appropriately replying some times ( like Sona does to GKB or DeV did to the neighbor at munh dikhayi) that they can't come back and ignoring sometimes.

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

umm... no Tia. It's not about gender or bahu or in laws.

See the story revolves around a few key points

1. Dev had such a complex adolescence that a lot of his decision making is scewed. He is a DIL over DIMAG person. I am not justifying him. It's the character that the makers have shown us. Remember what he did when Dr Bose turned off his phone. Life has shown him that you only get one chance and if he makes a mistake he very very impulsively fixes it. The definition of mistake changes depending on who he speaks to. He summed it up when he said "I am a difficult person to live with". He is a Dixit.

2. Ishwari, who, I don't think even acknowledges the concept of Dev's wife. She still thinks all of this is just a means to an end. The end being her son should continue to love him. Again, I won't say it's right or wrong. However, that's what the makers have made that character to be. Sona can do what she likes, so long as she isn't changing anything from how things were pre-confession. That is what is the core and will get fixed in time

3. Sona - she believes in love. She was brought up in an environment where people talk. However she loves a Dixit. She loves a man who hides his feelings from everyone. Only recently has he learnt to open up to Sona. And mind you, he has learnt that to love a woman as a man,he got to stand up for her. And has done a few times. Dev fell in love with this uncomplicated, sensible person. A Bose

Friday was a big lesson for Sona. It was a run of the mill scenario for everyone else. Only for Sona was it a realisation that she needs all her energies to help her husband.

It's not about genders. Neha will be helped by ranvir similarly.

Thoughts?

Originally posted by: asha2012

Hey

Just wanted to point out that didn't Sona also forgive Dev so fast - I also believe that she also walked into this marriage with her eyes open...

That having been said she, being an independent strong woman shouldn't expect her husband to fight the battles for her

She should talk to Dev and give him a chance to talk to his mom, Miami etc and if it

Still does not work out she should decide whether taking a dent to her self respect is worth it

No offence to anyone - just my point of view

QUOTE=tia.o]I don't have much time today. But I was reading the comments off and on and marveling on some of the comments...

So to clear all confusion once and for all, here's some questions which if you ask a woman, should clarify all points.

A woman (say yourself) were raised in hardship by your parents who struggled more than Ishwari to raise her with the help of say Mamaji who did more for you than the Mama on screen.

Then you get married to a man (say Dev) who gives you a suggestion after you convinced him that after marriage, everything you have is yours.

It was a fair and just suggestion, so you took it which your parents found out.

Then your parents and Mamaji's wife insulted your husband and your relationship in front of you for him giving you his suggestion after your assurance and for you to take it.

How many of you will take the steps Dev did?

How many of you will stay silent while your family who did you some favour calls your husband a black shadow?

How many of you will undermine your relationship, your husband's honour and show him his place in your life by begging in front of someone who is not even worthy to kiss his feet?

How many of you even will visit your family after that major insult to your husband's dignity let alone live with them and expect your husband to do the same?

How much favour is worth your husband's honour, respect and dignity for you?

And how many of you then advice a woman who let's her husband be humiliated that if she can't do justice to a relationship, she should not be in that relationship?

Got your answers?

And don't try to sell me gender bias and inequality in the name of culture and tradition.

If culture and tradition is against women's rights, then they have to be abolished. At some point in time, burning widows with their husband and child marriage were culture and tradition, but it no longer exist.

About time, we women stand up for our rights and stand by a woman fighting for hers.

It's about time to stop asking or advising a woman what she could have done to avoid insult and humiliation and start blaming the abuser and the silent spectator...

Stop blaming the victim of abuse!!!

Originally posted by: sun29

honestly speaking what sona needed was a wise friend someone who could have pulled her back from this...her father was one person who could but he too caved in realizing how miserable she was without it..but a wise friend would not have let that happen realizing that this misery is nothing compared to what she is getting into ...foresight...

if i was her friend i would never have let her marry so early and impulsively..dev is a very very complicated man indeed and his family is dysfunctional and selfish ...keeping the love aside loving him promises a lifetime of struggle ,pain,hurt ,heartbreak and what not...it is scary very scary ...why would anyone intentionally want to jump into that..i can certainly understand where dev is coming from and how and what of it but there is a difference between being a friend and being a wife...it is so scary and am surprised how the girl has not yet landed into depression even if 3-4 days after wedding ...

at this point dev scares me ,his mother suffocating him with her ehsaan and love scares me ...i can pretty well understand what sona must be feeling...that pain,heartbreak of being thrown out just does not go overnight or maybe ever...the dialogue in the precap did indicate that ...one needs to feel it to understand it ...

the relationship actually starts when the giddy gushy feeling of love takes a backseat...