Originally posted by: Samanalyse
@Maham: I love talking to you too! And since we still have almost 24 hours until the next episode, I am indulging one more rambly response.
YES! The "aap nai tum" reminded me of our conversation here as well. I was like from my mind to your lips, Dev babu! I love that Dev doesn't feel at all comfortable with Sona calling him "aap" and even though she didn't explicitly use the word "tum," the way she imperiously told him to sit down and drink his milk grammatically implied it and that's good enough for me! In fact, I really appreciate the struggle they are going through to let go of old habits and embrace their new status as a couple, all while trying to keep it hidden from the rest of his family. It can't be easy and it's wonderful to see that the writers aren't shying away from that awkwardness. Its like you read my mind. I was satisfied with that particular bit where she tells him to sit an drink his milk for the same reason 😆 And yes absolutely @ Their struggle: I like how the writers are approaching their change in status quo so well. Despite Sona wishing she could call him Dev and Dev lecturing himself in the mirror over the same, addressing each other by their surnames is still proving to be an instinctive thing for them and its very real. BTW I love how they have gone from "It's Dr. Bose for you." to "Miss Bose" to "It's Sonakshi for you." 😆 Such a sweet little set of parallels that helps highlight the changes their relationship has undergone.
A big, fat WORD to everything you said about their mutual understanding. That is what attracted me to the promos as well: two people who are clearly in love with each other, kept apart by problems outside of their relationship which both of them seem to understand and accept without blaming the other. Sona understood Dev's position, and was not angry with Ishwari, despite her supposedly being the reason for the separation. But she was also not the long-suffering, all-sacrificing bahu, as displayed by her witty quips. She begged Dev to let her speak with Ishwari, but respected that it was ultimately his choice, and recognised boundaries when he said no. And through out it all, she kept making him smile. WORD. Exactly what attracted me to the promos as well! The writers started with a strong premise and gently, patiently told the story that led to it. Looking back, I can't believe how seamlessly we got to this point!
That's an amazing insight you had right at the beginning of the show, and it's so very true. Dev literally keeps a shrine to his mother's struggle in that almari of his, and romanticises her life and her person way beyond her humanity. The guilt that these memories cause have been the primary drive for his success, and Ishwari is not at all innocent of all of this. Right from when he was a child, instead of communicating directly, she played on his guilt to pull him away from natural childishness, and push him towards academic success. Granted, it was necessary at the time, and given the resources she had, I can't imagine anyone strategising or executing a long-term plan for her family's comfort better than Ishwari, but it left lasting scars on both Dev and Neha. I know right? I remember, something that Ishwari said along these lines that really hit me. I don't remember the scene but she said something like "Dev parhai mein sab se tez tha, humari aage badhne ki umeed tha woh." I was so struck then that Ishwari's partiality for Dev wasn't even entirely out of love. On some level, her investment into Dev was a cold, strategic decision. And yes you are so right, we have seen quite a few times how she has played on to his guilt. As much as Ishwari feels sad over Dev not being able to live out his childhood, she was also directly responsible for it. I know it was necessary at the time and she did what she had to do, but yes like you said, its damaged both Neha and Dev deep within. What's different between Neha and Dev here is that Neha is aware of that damage, Dev still remains oblivious because he has always been so fixated on living upto everyone's expectations and giving his family a better life, thereby leaving no time for any self-examination. No wonder he took so long to understand what he feels for Sona.
What makes Neha such an interesting character is that she has recognised how her mother uses guilt: Ishwari is so sweet, gentle, and determined to see the good in everyone that it makes you feel the fierce need to protect her, and be a "better person." That's why Neha rankles when Ishwari is kind to her... she sees it as nothing but more manipulation. She feels much more kinship with the real Ishwari, as we saw when she defended her from Khatri. Neha's demands for material things, and for attention solely on her, are her ways of resisting the influence of the saintly Ishwari, who brushes real issues under the table and maintains the image of untainted goodness. It makes me wonder how much of her desire for a wealthy husband is real, and how much of it is in opposition to Ishwari's ideals. I love how you have examined Neha here. Neha is probably one of the most complex characters on this show. I'll say it once again, for a secondary character, I admire the writers for paying such attention to her characterization. It's kind of sad how Dev, Ishwari and Neha each have their problems and complexes and yet they are unable to really help each other. Its a great contrast to Sona's family where even the most absurd issues are discussed openly with the family accepting each other's idiosyncrasies. In Dev's case, he's too determined to take care of everyone to even address his needs to himself. Neha, even though she is vocal about her pain, everyone just reads it as resentment, jealousy and bitterness without really understanding her real problem. The Dixits just end up suffering alone, unable to see that only by truly connecting with each other, can they let go of everything that haunts them. I really hope we get to see their issues getting resolved instead of being swept under the rug or getting solved in one episode in traditonal Indian TV style!
The Khatri angle would be awesome in so many ways. Not only would it challenge the relationship between Dev and Ishwari, but would finally allow Ishwari to see how strong and capable an ally Neha is. A real Neha-Ishwari relationship would unite the family that has thus far been divided by the insular bond between Ishwari and Dev. Ishwari taking comfort in all her children would give Dev more breathing room to guiltlessly pursue his own desires. Word to this! I have nothing more to add here :)
Here's to new frontiers of long and rambly! 👍🏼😆 Right back at ya! 😆
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