Im so sorry guys, i know all of you have been waiting a long time now for this next update...
I am really really sorry i made you guys wait this long...
Now i am free for a week, after a longgg time i will get time to write...
So i will update as many parts as possible...
So here is the next part...
SS: Jab Dil ke faisle dimaag se hote hai: part 10
After their talk on the terrace, they both left for their home..
It was late by the time Sona reached home...It was all dark when she got in...
She just assumed that everyone was asleep by now and there was no need to disturb them...
So without making any noise she went to her room, freshened up and just sat down on the floor by her bedside...
She was so drained because of all that happened, that now she did not feel a thing...
When you are too sad or upset or hurt for a long time there comes a time when your senses give up and you dont feel a thing..
She had read about it long back and today was actually experiencing it...
She was about to get up when she heared a knock on the door..
It was her mom with dinner in her hand...
Sona just signalled her that it was very late and that she was still awake...
" Kya maa, ab tak jaag rahe ho aap...aur yeh kya itani bhi choti bacchi nahi hoon mai ki mere liye khana yaha leke aayi hoo...
Bhook lagati tab kha leti na mai...aur waise bhi...
Sona just kept talking unnecessarily...
She was scared that if she met their mom's eye, she will break down completely and that will hurt her mom even more...
So she just kept talking but then she realised that her mom just kept looking that her, and that she was sitting on the floor with her now, right next to her... it made her realise that she knew what Sona was trying to do and now there was no way out of it...
" Sona mai..." her mom tried to say ..
"Kuch mat kaho maa please kuch mat kaho...mai sambhal nahi paungi apane aapko " she said and a lone tear rolled down her cheek...
It was surprising, how all the dead and numb senses in her were brought back to life just by the fact that her mom was with her, beside her and by her knowing that her mom understands all the unspoken words of hers..
That is the power and beauty of mom's love...
Her mom just cupped her face and said while wiping her tear away
" Dekh Sona, i know i was very angry for the past few days and that i left you with no option but to think about getting married...
I know mujhe nahi karna chahiye tha yeh sab ... i know you need time
But kya karu beta, maa hoon teri...chinta hai teri...darr lagta hai mujhe ki agar tu yeh sab se aaj nahi nikal payi toh kabhi nahi nikal payegi...
I know that you are strong, and you will eventually get over all this but Sona i am your mom beta...
Pata hai ek boxer ki maa ko bhi pata hota hai ki mera beta ya beti strong hai, but every time they get hit, it hurts her a lot even when she knows he or she can take that...
Pata hai teri problem kya hai Sona, you are not strong for yourself, you are strong enough for others and to show them that your doing just okay...
But khud ke liye, its killing you inside every second and i know it...
Dekh Sona, i know you need time to handle all this, to get out of all this but beta kahin itani der na ho jaye ki tu jab aage badhane ki koshis kare tab kismat tera saath na de...
Beta ek cheez ko bhulane ke liye dusare nayi cheez ka uske jagaha pe aana jaruri hai...
Tabhi nayi cheez ki aadat hone lagati hai aur purani cheez dhundali hone lagati hai...
Aur agar wo nayi cheez jaldi nahi layi jaye na beta toh wo jagaha hamesha ke liye khokali rehe jaati hai...
Yeh sab toh cheezo ke liye hai Sona, par teri purani cheez tera pyaar hai jisne tujhe yuhin chod diya, kahin der karte karte tu hi khokali na rehe jaye beta...
Isiliye yeh sab..." tears started flowing down her cheeks because this was the first time her mom had shared her feelings and how scared she was for Sona and her future...
Sona just placed her head on her lap and said...
" I know maa, you don't need to explain me ki aap yeh sab kyu kar rahe ho ...
Aap nahi bhi batate toh bhi mujhe pata tha ki aap yeh sab mere liye kar rahe ho, meri khushi ke liye kar rahe ho...
I agree ki mujhe pehele ghussa aaya tha when you tried to rush me in all this, but jab baad mein socha na tab realise kiye...
Ki aaj tak aapne meri har wish puri ki hai kyuki meri khushi usme thi...
Even mere aur Dev ke rishte ko bhi...
aapne kabhi koi bhi aise cheez nahi ki jo mujhe pasand na ho ya jisse mai khush nahi hoon...
Mujhe karela bachapan mein bilkul pasand nahi hai but aap hamesha keheti thi jis din tujhe samajh aayega ki wo kitana healthy hota hai, tu khud khane lagg jayegi...Tab tak mai tujhe force nahi karungi...
Jo meri mom mujhe sabzi khane force nahi karti thi, woh...
Mai sochati rahi ki phir ab achanak aisa kya hua ki aapko yeh faisala lena pada...
Maa tabhi mai choti thi aur ab mai badi ho gayi hoon and now i know karela sabse kadava hota hai but sabse jyada healthy bhi wohi hota hai...
Yeh faisla lete samay mujhse jyada aapko hurt hua hoga, but this was the right thing to do...
Aur rahi baat Dev ki maa, mujhe pata hai aap bohot ghussa ho unse ki unhone mujhe yuhi chod diya...
Mujhe bhi aaya tha ghussa..."
She paused for a second took a deep breathe and continued
" Mai bohot royi maa, bohot jyada...Mai toot chuki thi...
Roz yehi question karti thi khud se ki itana pyaar karne ka kya fayada hua, jab jisse aap pyaar karte ho usne hi chod diya ...
Mai jhoot nahi bolungi maa, i hated him a lot...I hated him for not trying and not taking a stand for us...not fighting for our love..for us...
I thought he ruined my life, he did not care and broke up just like that ..
But maa if you think about it, agar Dev fight kar bhi lete aur agar mai Dev ke saath hoti aur agar hamari shaadi ho jaati aur Ishwari aunty ko mai tabhi pasand nahi aati toh...
Hum teeno ghutate rehete zindagi bhar...
Wo khush nahi thi...
Mujhe ab tak nahi pata ki wo mujhe aur Dev ko kyu saath mein nahi chahati thi...
I know stand lena Dev ka kaam tha, try karna unka kaam tha...
Shayad wo unke liye maan bhi jaati apana mann mar ke but koi khush nahi hota maa...
Mai hoti Dev ki jagaha toh shayad mai bhi yehi karti, apani maa ki khushi ke liye...
But i know aisi naubat hi nahi aati because you know what i want and what i need...You understand me more than i do...
Dev aur ishwari aunty ke saath aisa nahi hai...
Unka past unke aaj pe aaj bhi bhaari hai...
Agar koi baat galati bhi hogi ek dusare ki toh bhi they wont tell each other or pin point it just because they think they will hurt the person and both of them had seen enough...
Actual meim wo dono ki apane aap se fight hai maa...
Wo communication gap bharna unka kaam hai maa...
Aap aur mai kuch nahi kar sakte ...
Ishwari aunty ne Dev ki apane dimaag mein ek image bana rakhi hai ...
That he is always happy, that he is unshakable, he is very strong...That he is never sad, or vulnerable or depressed about things because She doesn't want to picture him otherwise...
And being a Mom sahi bhi hai na... no mom would like to see her child helpless or sad or hurt..
Wo picture itane saal se ban chuki hai na maa ki ab wo usi ko reality bana chuki hai...
Aur unki bhi galati nahi hai...
Dev never showed her anything else...he never shared things with her that were bothering him or when he was sad...
If she made that picture he painted it with colors and brought it to life...
I don't know who is right and who is wrong...
But i know this that Dev is my first love, and i will never forget him...
And why will i ?
he gave me the best moments that i will cherish for life...
I know i will be shattered again tomorrow thinking about how he left him or how i can never have him in my life...
But it's okay...
I will fall, i will get up and i will fall again...
But i have you to pick me up every time and he doesnt...
And that is sad...
Right now he needs someone who understands him like i do...
If not me i hope ishwari aunty understands him...
Then i will be happy that atleast over love acted as a buffer between them...
That they came closer and understood what was the right thing to do...
I pray the best for them...
I wish i was a part of all that but IT'S OKAY...
ek sapana tutata hai toh log sapane dekhane nahi chodate maa...
Mai bhi seekj jaungi...
I promise you maa, i will try to move on...
Bit by bit i will gather myself up and i will be okay about this, somebody...
But not today..." she cried herself to sleep that night on her mom's lap while her mom sat there the entire night, trying to safeguard her daugther as much as she could, because even she knew that tomorrow again she was going to be on her own...
Dev was on the ground when Neha came and sat beside him...
Before he could ask her to leave him alone she started ...
" Pata hai bhai, mujhe bachapan mein hamesha aapse jalan hoti thi...i used to envey you a lot...
Mujhe lagata tha ki aap maa ki har baat maanke, unke favourite banana chahate ho...
Unke samne humse jyada acche banana chahate toh...
Bachapan se leke aaj tak...
Isiliye shayad aap unke favourite bhi ho aur wo aapse hum sab se jyada pyaar karti hai...
Par aaj jab mai sochati hoon na..toh lagata hai ki accha hua ki mai maa ki favourite nahi hoon..." she said it seriously and Dev just looked at her with surprise ...
" haan bhai sahi suna aapne...
Accha hua mai wo favourite nahi hoon...
Kyuki mujhe tabhi pata nahi tha na ki favourite hone ki baadme jaake "ITANI BHADI KIMAT CHUKANI PADEGI..."
aur sach kahoon mai, yeh kimat chuka bhi nahi pati...
Mai nahi ban paati aap jaisi...
Jo maa ke galat faisle mein bhi unka saath de aur apane pyaar ko KURBAN kar de...
Pata hai bhai aapka aur maa ka rishta ek ped aur suraj ki taraha hai...
Jab wo murjhaya hua paudha tha tab suraj ne apani saari roshani uspar daal kar use ped banaya...
Use paudhe se ped banake ke liye itane saal lag gaye ki wo ped ko laga ki suraj se saari roshani bus usi ke liye hai...
Suraj par aur uski kirano par sirf uske hi haq hai...aur kisika nahi...
Is kahani mai aap wo suraj ho bhai jo khud jalata raha, tapta raha aur jisne ma ko takat di... unhe sawara...mujhe pata hai aap nahi manate hai yeh par maine dekha hai...
Par maa yeh bhul gayi ki suraj par sabka utana ki haq hai jitana unka... aur aapne bhi toh unhe kabhi chav mein nahi rehene diya...jo jaruri tha...
Aaj mujhe pata chala ki aap maa ke favourite nahi banana chahate the...aap hame saari khushiyaan dene ki koshis kar rahe the apani khushiyaan kurban karke...
Har wo baat jo aapne maa ki aaj tak maani hai uske piche kahina kahin aapki har ek khushi khoti gayi hai... aur shayad maa ko bhi iss baat ka ehesas tha...
Par aapne kabhi uff tak nahi kiya aur ise apani aadat bana li...
Apane hame mehefooz rakha hai bhai in saari takaleefo se...
THANK YOU bhai...
I LOVE YOU..."
saying so she hugged him tight...nikki and riya who were at the door ran in to join the hug...
He was their father figure after their father passed away...
Nikki and riya always knew that but today even Neha accepted it...
That night he slept on Neha's lap while nikki and riya sat by their side...
Two people in love with each other, who sacrifised everthing they had for their family's happiness were alseep, while the people beside them and with them that very moment, understood them even more...loved them even more, respected them and were in prayer every minute of that passing night so that these two get what they want...
EACH OTHER...
and little did they know, that prayers are answered in some way or the other...
That night they met again, to be together forever...
In their DREAMS...!!!!!!!
Thats it for today...
And i might PM everyone late after posting the update...
So sorry about that in advance...
Pllzzz do share your views...
Comment ...
-Shaina...
