New SS: Tanhai Part 9 pg69 Dec 27 - Page 17

"Eek! Mujhe 'aap' maat bulao!" he yelled. --- ooi maa! How cutteeee! Prem is so adorable!

Meri? Main toh puri paanch saal ki hoon," Heer said in pride as she held up her five little fingers. - haha, OMG! A kid I know does that ---> PURI PAANCH SAAL KI HOON! Haha!

Haila, aap toh mujhse bohoooooot bade ho. Main, aapko 'tum' nahin bula sakti," Heer said as she shook her head. – awiee, adorablleeee!

The both fell into a fit of laughter. However, neither of them realized they were still holding hands. - o le le le leeeeee!!!! soo cuteee!

However, the other side, the one who had been Prem's wife, felt a strange sense of peace at seeing them suffer ---> ahh goosebumps! Such a weird kind of formidable effect this line has :-( I feel incredibly bad for heer!

Woh ek ladka hai, yani boy. Woh mera dost bhi hai, yani friend. Toh woh mera boy-friend hi hua naa?" Heer explained. Hahaha! CLASSIC! My goodness, if only I could count the number of times ive said that myself! *giggle*

Heer smiled and a hand went up to her right cheek, she could almost feel the touch of his soft lips against her skin --- uff, jaz, im going to be down in the dumps if you dont stop this soon :-( this is so pretty! I just had a visual of heer having her hand up to her cheek :-( *sob*

After Prem's mothers death, Heer still made the halwa on her birthday. Prem and Heer enjoyed the halwa together as the thought of all their moments with her. – something about this line is so warming! Just the thought of it! *SIGH*

Roshni had a flare for anything fun and fashion related, while Diya was a book worm with aspirations of becoming a doctor. --- oh hoo! Itne alag?! Hehe! Very cute btw!!!

AHH! That last para was SO darn intense! I cant believe they would do this again! Gosh, a bunch of insensitive, heartless, thick-skinned, brothers! Ufff! Did they NOT seee what happened the last time?! And why on earth is it always on their moms bday? Uff! Aur who bhi us din jab heer matham mana rahi ho! Uff! Jerks these men are!

Okay, onto this part...you reallly have a way with words! Everything was so beautifully written! I loved reading about Prem and Heer's relationship! What time does to friendship eh? Man, they had the strongest bond!

<3 tons,

Part 3

Uss raath ko maine aapni Didi ko maarte hue dekhi thi." ---> omg, and how old was chutki then? 12? stupid men! Sab ki zindagi barbaad kardi! That child has no business thinking all of that *sob*

"Ussi pyaar ke tootne paar aap bhi toot gayi thi. Main nahin chati ke main khabi kissi se itna pyaar karoon ke usse khone ke baad main bhi aapne aapko khodoon," Veera said. "Aap ke dil mein abhi bhi Jiju hai. Itne saal hogaye aur aap unse utna pyaar karti hai jitna ke aap pehle karti thi. Aur main jaanti hoon, ke Jiju jahaan bhi hai, woh aaj bhi aapse pyaar karta hai ----> aye hayeee! Kya dialogue hain yaaar! I love this bit! I have such a TOUGH time writing dialogues, and when I read this, you make it look easy! MARVELOSO!!!!! and this describes veera's emotions so perfectly! Loving someone to the limit that she forgets her ownself! That kind of love...hmmph.. *poking your arm and saying* KYA KAR DIYA YAAR?! Itna dukh? Jao ab! Cutty!

*giggle* kulraj is chaloooooo! Badi achi plan thi! I love the relationship heer still has with her bhabi's! Aur kyun na ho... they have always supported her..just those men! Aye hayeee!

Tik hai Bhai. Aagar uss Manmeet ne kuch bhi kiya'main usse kha jaunga!" Nihaal said. --- haha, okay..i only like these men for one split second! But I will never forgive them for what they did to prem! Oh ho yaarr! BRING PREM BACK! BRING HIM BACK!! pweaasee! *haat jhodke bheek mangoing again* lots of phool barsoing! Maan lo na yaar! *puppy face*

haha, laksh! Bichare ka tho chehra utar gaya hoga! *giggle* I love this flashback! OMG! Prem is adorabllleee "Aur haan, mujeh bhi thoda thoda pasand ho"

Haansi toh phasi!" Prem yelled as he jumped up --- ahhh! *FAINT* paanii! How infreakincredibly adorable is that line! Oh hoo! Baton mein ujlhana koi prem se seekhe! Hehe!

My goodnesss! Aisi bhi hoti hain bhabiyaan? Hehe! Itni besharam! Nossssyyyyy! Hehe! "Haath pakda! Oh my God, ussne haath pakda!" Meher yelled! Awiieeee!

That was the first night in a long time that Heer went to bed with a smile on her face instead of tears. It was the first time in years she went to bed with hope in her heart instead of pain. It was the first time in years that she looked forward to the rising of the sun the next day instead of wishing the night would never end ---> uff, beautifully written! What a relief it is to read about Heer being happy...semi-happy alteast! I love this ending!

Gosh yaar, I would have NEVER expected veera to be happy about this sagaai... this whole shaadi! Man, what a rush of memories might have hit heer no? But anywho, as long as veera is happy..and manmeet doesnt turn out to be the psychopath he was in the show, its all good! *happy dance --- bhangra style* woot woot!

And YIPPPPPEE! Main dhanya ho gayi after reading all of this! Gosh, Im not even sure if I could properly comment! Lol! *phew* dharam sankat tal gayi! Hehe! I almost thought commenting on your parts was going to be impossible! Hehe! Finally, we DID it!

This FF is going in a greattt direction!

But STILL! BRING PREM BACKK!! PLEASEEEEEE!! do an ekta on us and bring him back from the dead! *sob sob* even though we're getting plenty of prem in the flashback, I want him back in fleshh! What can I do? Bribe chalega? Lotssss of pakore for iftaari today? ----> achi offer hain, taalna mat! *giggle*

Originally posted by: *Guli*

Me 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🥳 woohoo!! Party time!!! *Morpeech Dance*me doing the dance too jaani!!



Lmao... The way Heer was asking questions to Veera... would be the same way i would ask u questions...😆 and be like omg!!!!..... wat does he do? where does he live? how old is he? how tall? You know like all the details about him and the whole clan!!😆 its a natural thing!!! of course...the only thing Heer is missing is a clipboard...maybe she can borrow mine 😉😉

Flashback was cute!! aww they became a cute little couple!!!!....... Except for Prem shouldve said that I have started to fall in love with you!!!! wouldve been even more sweeter!!!😳ya but really yaar...they were like 5 or something...a bit older but still...usse kaise paata ke pyaar kya hai 😉

Haila these bhabis are soo nosey!!!... cant even leave the couple alone over here!!! Man i could so imagine you and all the saalis doing that!!!... there wont be any food u guys would have objects and everytime something bad happens..... it was nice knowing jij!😆 its called PRIVACY!! how come no one ever pays attention to that word anymore!! its needs to be brought back!!!!!!😡 I feel for Veera man!! Kabab Mein Haddis!!! they are everywhere!!!😕 of course...that bhabi scene was inspired by us saalis...lmao...dont worry yaar...you will get your chance to be a kabab mein haddi as well...just wait a little 😉


Another good part!! but it was a little short!!!!😆😉 just a little!!! a little longer next time!!!!😲 *hmph*...not talking to you!!! 😡


please cont soon!!! and this time i mean soon!!!!! maybe before next friday!!😉

Originally posted by: curledup

me me me!

*edit*

ok ok I am officially here to comment and I am back yay! 😊

now about the prologue: that had left me off the edge constantly..seriosuly after reading it I was getting more and more edgier and it felt like I was literally on the edge..and the ending sentence's and all left me in constant thought ask my mum when it was time to eat the fork stayed in my mouth and it would not find its way back to the plate..thats how lost I was seriously!!!! lol...tauba...talking about food...im getting hungry...hmm...what to do for lunch today...lets see...*thinking*

chapter 1:
The dream I was like woah what is happening here what does it mean..and how the heck are her brothers involved and then we went for a flashback!!!
omg that flashback it was something
seriously can Men be bad or what I remember something bad like this happening I had just got an update on my contract and some boy I think it was my friends bro and he phoned home that did it baam I got it from my older bro's apart from 2 and my dad gave the most and he phoned so he could ask me if I could give him my other freinds number and I brang home such good marks..All 7's and 8's and then when my dad and them found out they were like trying to apologize but their ego got in the way..thats why Men's mentality thinking is the freeking same!! i swear!! i have three older and one younger brother...but still...the four of them are always in my business!! tauba!!! men are all the same!! and thats not a good thing!
back to the update
he said he does want to marry her!! I was like yay something not heart breaking in the flashback
then the whole humari nishani bit was too cute!!!!
and after that when they killed him it left me with un sheded tears in my eyes.they killed him Kameene!!!!!!!
seriosuly disgusting!!!!
and then the happy anniversary bit I was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww glad you enjoyed the flashback...its the entire basis of the story...you will see 😉😉😉

You will bring Prem back right???? do what ekta does when they wanna bring a character back!!...I mean I Adore Heer's secret (when will you update that??) and eq paal!!! lol...you want me to be ekta and bring people back from the dead...😆😆😆...that is not happening...but you never know that my twists 😛😛😛...as for HS...i will update that sometime this week 😳

chapter 2:

flashback toooo good!!!

'eek mujhe 'aap' maat bhulyo'.....prem was awsome all the way through seriosuly no jokes he is and always will be amazing!!
and then the bhaiye bit had me in laughs *not giggles* 😆 😆 i was laughing as i was writing it...my dad is like what are you doing...im like...errrrm...homework ...he thought i was crazy 😳 which i am...just a bit...😛
when she came down seriosuly her brothers should be in flipping utter disgust!!! seriosuly...what type of brothers are they??? they are horrible brothers...maybe...you'll figure them out soon enough 😉
and the halwa flash back the hug the kiss!! *blushes like a million times* 😍

and then after the history repeating itself bit was tooo good seriously still left me on the edge and what in the name of fire crackers did they think that veera might agree??? 🤣 "what in the name of firecrakers"...ok...i've gotta hand it to you...thats original!! 👏👏👏


chapter3:

Bummer Veera did agree but still it sounds like a bussiness deal I wonder if Heer's was like that...and the flash back of the flirtish boy and then he stopped cause of her brothers and then the whole boy friend issue!! *blushes* seriosuly the flashback had somewhat me being grinning like an idiot!!! I want a Prem!! Meeeeera!!! where are you!!!! *pouts* haila...why are you calling for Meera...lmao...are you going to all gang up on me 😕
and is the manmeet gonna be as evil as the last and first pretend to be nice then be a worthless excuse of a person!!! 😆 😆 no no...the one good thing out of this business deal is that Manmeet is a real stand up guy...he is just as sweet as ever...i've modeled him after Dev from choti bahu...since its the same person playing that character 😳

all in all it was an amazing update and like the rest of your ff's you just have that special charm of writing I Guess AND AND AND *big ands* simply cannot wait for your next update ok ok I will be patient
woh kya kehte hai sabar ka paal meeta hota hai!! thanks...next update will be posted soon...😃😃😃
😆

~aashifa~

Originally posted by: indiandoll89

my spot 😊

Originally posted by: Kamal_23

amazing update thank god veera doesn't have a problem with the marriage though i keep thinking manmeet's is negative. the flashback was nice loved how prem decides 2b heer's boyfriend after she is getting teased.

thanx for the pm

Kamal

Originally posted by: Cess-

*reserved*

hello jaz! hey yaar!!!

wasnt expecting to comment on this week's update as i've been extremely busy the past few days... but since i'm in love with tanhai, i just couldnt leave without writing my views on this chapter.... it's gonna be kinda long, i hope u dont get bored! 😆 im so glad that you did comment...i LOVE your comments...BECAUSE they are LONG!!! 😳😳😳

okie, let me start by saying i totally thought this was a reverse phsychology they are applying towards heer and her attitude.... but i just cant believe how many jhatke u can give me! i mean seriously, the last thing i ever expected was that veera was happy with the whole marriage! never thought about this situation, but it's extremely nice to see she isnt gonna turn out into another heer! and heer - i just felt for her.... i could just about imagine her reaction to what just happened, what she'd do to save her sis, and lastly, the shock and relief of knowing veera is actually happy with the whole arrangement! it just turns out, everyone is different, and at the end, the situations and how it is handled depends on every individual! ya...i figured one broken hearted woman in the Maan house was enough...lets not add to the already unbearable pain...kyun...saach naa? 😉

and veera... omg, jaz, u wrote and conveyed her feelings so well... i just understood every emotion she was feeling the moment she explained why she wouldnt love anyone to the extent where she needs to forget herself... oh, that was such a real, and intense scene... the way you wrote it, even i - being such a big believer in love - would have thought more than once than loving anyone which would end up in pain that was never to heal! i had tears in my eyes seeing as to how veera had felt through the years, and never expressing her feeling to anyone, let alone heer.... the 'jiju' was also very emotional... i could see heer in tears at the sound of that one word... it must have given her peace within!!....the men's actions not only destroyed heer's entire life, but also made them lose their sister (and daughter), her smile, and most importantly, the whole family's hapiness! and at the moment i dont see any signs of regret whatsoever in their words or actions.... thay are so full of ego and pride... they are disgusting to me... Veera never wanted to feel the way she saw Heer feeling after Prem died...she would never give anyone that power...as for Prem and Veera...they do share a special relationship...which will come out soon 😛😛😛...and as for the men...they are just STUPID...plain and simple!!!

the 'moral support' bit was real cute jaz... i totally loved that, and all four spying on them... really that was just so typical women in a spying, and gossip mood.... and you know what, i know i must sound so stupid here, but for a moment i actually thought manmeet was actually prem (🤣)!! and heer would see him with veera and..... i dunno, it was just a random feeling i had.... but i had a strong feeling towards those scenes happening.... alas, i am wrong... (thank god 🤣)... but the brothers.... what a bunch of possesive bunnies they are... honestly, i wouldnt want to have a big brother if they turn out like these three... i mean that line cracked me up : "Tik hai Bhai. Aagar uss Manmeet ne kuch bhi kiya'main usse kha jaunga!" that was just 🤣.... omg, nihaal.... i was ROLFing on that bit... what a sack he is.... i mean they are... all of them.... gosh, veera is getting married.... married for pete's sake.... i hope they dont plan on spying on veera's suhaagraat!! 🤣.... though i actually am expecting them to do that as well!! the spying comes from first hand experience...im a major kabab mein haddi in my best friends life 😆😆😆 cant help it...the brothers...well...in this scene they were just over protective older brothers...typical...tauba...spy on suhaag rath!!! 😆😆😆...they'd gouge their eyes out for sure!! lmao...tauba...

and the FB... omg, that was just too adorable... and heer *pinching cheeks* (my first for this comment 🤣) she's too innocent, hai na? i mean, yes she's 15, and the way she acted, i just loved every bit of it... and prem, omg typical 17 year old.... they are just so perfect... i just loved the way he told her he not only was doing this so that no one makes fun of her, but the fact that he actually wants to be her boyfriend... and not only remain her boy-friend.... it was just so cute... and jaz, the way you write their characters of varying age, it's just so beautiful.... really, you make them look like the age you are trying to show they are.... i dont know if it's difficult for you, but i dont seem to believe it's oh-so-easy as you make it look like... you're so good... i know i said this a lot of time, but i just dont think it's enough at times.... 😳... oooh, and i totally expected them to kiss... but they didnt.... hmm, i guess in their first date then hmm?? 😆, that's even better if it's that way.... i tried my best to convey the ages of prem and heer...didnt want to make them seem older than they are...but didnt want them to be annoying and stupid either...of course with Prem...that simply isnt possible!!! 😳...as for your guess...absolutely right!!! 😛😛😛

omg, lastly... (sigh of relief for u... 😆, my comments would finally be done.... ) can i tell you one more time how well u write? pls? 😆... omg, jaz, u never fail to amaze me.... seriously... i am really geniune when i say i wish i could ever write the way you do... you beat book authors... omg, and whoever is ur fav author would be very proud to have a fan like you.... i bet you're better than her/him.... 😳.... siply marvellous the last paragraph... i was in awe reading that, and i loved it soo much, i dunno how many times i read it! in those few sentences, you explained heer's misery, pain, tears, and regret for the past seven years... in the meanwhile, you also explained her hapiness and smile at the same time... seven years is just too long.... without prem, i bet even seven seconds is hard to bare.... but for the first time, in a very long time she had a reason to be happy, and the reason (for me) is not only the fact that she was happy for her sis, but also, that for the first time, she might have felt no fear of the situation where veera might face and share the same destiny she has! love your comments...sad to see it end so early 😭😭😭....im a total book worm...just finished reading one book by julie garwod and now im on to another one...just gotta pick it up from the bookstore...iim glad that you enjoyed my writing....

jaz, whenever i read ur FFs, my day is always made... thanks for writing so well and sharing your amazing ideas with us... i really love reading ur writings.... i know i have even better to expect, coz u always have even better to offer!! im glad that you like my story...next part will be posted tonight...phir batana...kaisi lagi 😉😉😉

luv,

cess

*edited*

achcha, i wanted to ask if all my buttering is enough to convince you to bring back my... oh, i mean heer's prem?? 🤣... come on yaar, kitni mehnat ki hain, u just have to give in *pleading and innocent muh* ... varna, i'll just have to lead an adolan of u-know-what very soon 🤣.... lol...lmao....im just waiting for the andolan...dekhte hai...can you all convince me to bring him back from the dead 😛

Originally posted by: Intellienough

wow, wonderful update..loved it.But i would love to see where prem is..

I want heer and prem to meet

Originally posted by: Additi...

Superb part i loved each and every partttt

I hope prem comes back soon as it iis incomplete with out prem

Originally posted by: Anhdara13

remind me to edit this spot.

*edited*

I actually came back! 😆 Aren't you so proud of me? 😆 i know!! 🤗so proud!! *woot woot* ..look at you...all responsible...*happy tears*

And I forgot what the part was about. 😳😆 Oh wait, it was Veera's engagement right? Her meeting Manmeet, and everyone spying on them. not her engagement...not yet at least....its was the parivaar's meeting...😃

I find the sisterly relation between the five younger women so cute. They're not bhabhi-nanads, but sisters. Which is so nicely expressed. yes!! i have a few bhabis that are just like them...then i have some who are not...but hey..we cant all get what we want naa 😃

Contrast with the brothers. If they hadn't done what they had to Heer and Prem, I would have considered that segment cute, and their over-protectiveness all sweet and nice, but considering what they are capable of, I wanted to reach in and kick their butts for being so normal when they ruined their sister's life! *pulls hair out* haila...dont pull hair out...you dont want to end up like lallu do you? tauba...phir we will call you eid ka chand..instead of Radzie!!! 😆

Justice needs to be served. *dials Superman* OMG...Brandon Routh is hot!! they need to make another superman movie with him...*drool*!!! 😳

-

I'm hyper.

Continue soon!

Love,
Radz

Originally posted by: masin

heylllooo HI! 😃

okaayy so instead of bombarding ur inbox, with PMs i'm going to be more polite and comment on ur story :)

well starting with veera's rishta..well still don't understand why Heer's family chose not to tell her, i mean if veera's okay with the proposal, then heer's reaction is bound to be "normal" LOL well...the logic is that its an arranged marriage...heer isnt cool with that...and its marriage...the topic hasnt been brought up in the past 7 yrs 😳😳

i really liked the convo b/w heer and veera. i'm sure it made heer realize of what she's been doing to herself...(not tht she's to be blamed) and for veera to just spill everything so innocently..seemed very sweet :) loved that scene to the coree!!!!!!! yes of course...its just halat and all that....

moving on to the flashback!!!! I LOVED ITT!!! i mean just the mention of prem makes my heart skip several beats...(and to think u'd kill him..tsk...tskk 😆) but one thing i must commend u on is the way u've portrayed premeer!! i mean they're def. differ from the premeer in kis desh, and they're also differ from any other "typical-love-story" type of couple! i love how prem's so humble..and completely unaware of his status at school, and i love how reality about her family's status hit heer in the face...LOL....i mean to think of it...it is def. sad to have all the boys scared of asking you out because of ur brothers....if that was me....i'd runaway from home or get a new ID :DD LMAO lol...i know the feeling...im completely fida over Prem as well...cant be helped...we are all lost cases...what can we do...😳...im glad you find my couple unique...that was the goal...thanks 😃😃😃...i have 4 brothers...i know how they must feel...pains in the ass ill tell ya!

but i simply adored the way premeer conversed...i mean i was literally blushing!!!!! i love how prem said hansi tou phansi, and how he asked heer out in the first place, they way he said haan bhi aur naa bhi, they way he just casually sat in front of her and ate her fries...and again so casually asked her about what's bothering her!!! their friendship never ceases to amaze me!!! and the couple themselves are a treat to read about in this ff!!! :D:D:D:D thanks..im glad that premeers friendship came out in all the mess..lol...as i was writing the scene...i could totally picture Prem eating the fries like he didnt have a care in the world 😆😆😆

and i also loved the way maya and heer talked about premeer's relationship being "official" it was tooo cute and funnyy!!!

btw...did i ever mention how much i love ur sense of humour!! i loved the way the bhabhis' caught the brothers spying on their sister....and i can't believe im actually admitting to like the brothers...but in this one, and i must add, one and only scene, i couldn't help admiring and laughing at rishab's and nihaal's remarks: "mein veera pe nazar rakhunga....haan bhaiya agarr us manmeet ne kuch bhi kiya, tou mein usse kha jaaounga" 🤣 lol...at the end of the day...they are borthers...as idiotic and stupid as they may be...they are protective of their sisters...which doesnt always work out in their favor...but then again...brothers are a headache...bade ho ya chote....they are maha annoying!!!

hmm....moving towards the end....im glad at the way veera and manmeet's relationship is taking shape, i just hope that manmeet remains loyal..and isnt business hungry like his and veera's fathers manmeet is a good guy...trust me...hes a sweet heart...no evil in him at all 😳

and now for some questions:

wen is prem coming back...and yes i mean coming back from the dead???? LOL no comment 😛

and im hoping to read more details on prem's death....i mean was he just left to rot in the forest/jungle??? i have a strong feeling that his friends might've rescued him...and he probably stayed away from heer for her own safety...rather than his safety (seeing as how prem's character is ☺️) but then again...all of this is just a simple and common prediction, and knowing u, i doubt ur story would be so predictable LOL....

....kk i think im suffering from short-term memory loss again...because i forgot the other question i had to ask!!!!!!!hmm...details about Prems death...rotting in the jungle...sounds good...ill have to work on it...ill see what i can do...just gotta be patient 😉

but anyways...the last bit left me wondering!!! like intensely wondering!!!!!!! im still trying to figure out the meaning behind heer's words!!! i think she's at peace now knowing that her brother's decision is not ruining veera's life..i mean her brother's decision didn't work out for her....but im sure its satifying for her to know that its working out fr her lil sister! :D she is at peace knowing that Veera's life isnt ruined...she is happy that her sister is happy...however, she hasnt forgotten what they have done...how could she...😭😭😭

well i think i've written enough fr now...im running out of time actually...

sehri's in a couple of hours, and i plan on starting to read one of ur other ffs at least!! plus i didnt watch kis desh this past week as i was busy with family stuff, so i gtg catch tht as well!!!! LOL lol...hope all the familly stuff is cleared...😃😃😃

keep me posted

and keep writing BRILLIANTLY (sorry i still havent had a chance to check thesaurus.com) 😆

love you

tc

Samra

P.S. would it be okay if i called u jaz api, instead of jaz di...LOL....and also...i mean its the month of ramadan...u know..blessings, being kind, and of course being generous...so would it be possible fr u to update sooner..and of course longer 😳 LOL....just keeddingg...its okay..i understand where ur coming from being this busyysyy :) lol...i'd love you to call me appi!! i've always wanted someone to call me that...but the closest i get is my younger brother who calls me apu...not the same...but yay!! im your appi!!

Originally posted by: Suhana Ahmed

hey,

yet another exciting part...

i really love the way you are taking the story... slow and steady...

the Premeer flashback was amazing...

n thanx God Veera is not being put into trouble....

please continue soon...

take care,

regards,

Suhana.

Originally posted by: stunninstar

oh god....yr pm was a surprise to me...i mean i didnt expect it n woww...i was so happy...i loved the update...was great... cool...im glad u got a surprise 😃

n u made veera so nice??!!!...oooh...i hated even that name in the show!!...but aftr reading yr ff i like her too..😉 and same with maya....she is so sweet here..i wish the two of them were like this in serial too.. yes...veera and maya are both very nice girls in my ff...no wishy washy...evil...crap!! all my women are good...no backstabbers and stuff! ha ha...

and prem n heer flashback was soooo cute..i wish my guy propose me like that...😳 you and me both yaar...haye....just imagine...😍

n haan...after reading the part somewhere i felt sad too...i mean all were so happy....even heer...why didnt she think that it was her wedding day that day,...the day she lost her prem....😭😭😭

i miss prem....please....make heer rememeber lots of things related to prem in the next part ok.... Heer always thinks of Prem...woh nahin hai toh kya hua...uske yadeein toh hai naa 😳😳😳

and i dont like her brothers yaar...they are so happy .. i mean i dont want them happy after spoiling prem n heers life!!!! they arent happy...well...they are sort of...but in one sense they are not...im talking crazy...you'll see what i mean soon 😉😉

and the part were Laksh was running after hearin heer was maan family member...lol....😆 ya...what a loser!!!

awesome update dear...i love yr writing...it so kewl...again..i am telling u ....send yr stories to some publishers...u are too good...the style is so nice... thanks luv...next part will be up later tonight...ill see what i can do 😳😳😳

thnx fr the pm....update soon...i cant wait to read more of this....

love..sandy..😊

Originally posted by: maha_k

edit later

👏

great update yar really amazing.

flashback was so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.😃

and thanks for a long update dear.

i hate all maan brothers😡😡

i hope prem in ki khob dhulai kary manmeet k sath mil k😆😆😆

but just loved it yar.update soon

maha

Originally posted by: --Sarah--

Oh Jaz you again succeeded in making me 😭 😭 😭...i hardly drop tears...but you manage it..... i mean i can't tolerate Heer's pain... aww...tissue chahiyeh? dont cry love 😊
and the conservation between Heer and Veera was very touching...
Jaz this was a mind blowing part....very beautiful....loved it and enjoyed 👏
Gosh i dislike Heer's brothers...i know they are trying to be protective....
the FB was awesome...Prem was (please make him "is") sho shweet...they officially declared to be boyfriend and girlfriend 😳 lol...you are too cute...was and is...ha ha...im not commenting...you are just gonna have to wait to see what happens 😳😳
Hope to get more FB...no FB i want Prem to be back...
BRING PREM BACK...BRING PREM BACK ...BRING PREM BACK ...BRING PREM BACK ..
Jaz you are an excellent writer....👏 👏
waiting for the next update

PS:I'm also waiting for Hear's Secret ill be updating that sometime this week...watch for the PM 😳

Originally posted by: nuptalie

I love the update .
Waiting for he next.😊

Originally posted by: yasu90

hey,

another fabulous update............👏.......
loved the premeer flashback................😃.........
so glad veera doesn't have a problem with the marriage................
still can't wait 4 premeer to get back 2gther............😍............
plz update soooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..............

Originally posted by: nadia.s

Hey! hola! 😃

I just started watching KDMHMD and I was looking through the forum when I saw your name. I remember you from the Kasamh Se section. I love reading your fanfic, Bani's secret. So I started reading Tanhai because I love the way you write. I'm going to search for all the other FFs that you wrote. yup...KS was way back when...it was a great forum...before all the politics started...

Okay, so now my comments. I just read all the parts in one go. It's awesome. I like the way Prem and Heer met and how their love blossomed. Its so sweet. Kindergarten sweethearts!! I was happy when they decided to run away and marry. I totally didn't expect Prem to die on the same day. Gosh! For Heer is must be really terrible. I mean, she was so happy when they got married and all of a sudden she became a widow on the same day.lucky you...you didnt have to wait in suspence like the rest of the people 😆😆😆...cheater...lol...yup...premeer go way back...but sadly it just wasnt meant to be...you've gotta hang in there...aage aage dekho...hota hai kya 😛😛😛

I wonder how Heer can go back and stay in that house with her father and brothers, basically the people who killed her husband Prem. If I were her I will runaway. But I guess because she knows that her brothers have their way of finding out things. In no time, they will find out where she is hiding and bring her back.where else would she go...besides....in order for the story line to work...she has to be there...😆

I like the all her three sister in laws especially Maya. They are so sweet. I mean they really care for one another. It's really nice to have someone who you can share all your secrets with. They are also really cute, all secretly watching Veera and ther guy in the garden. Lol!

Also not to forget all the kids. They are all so adorable. I like the way Heer explained to Rohan that what he did was wrong and he immediately apologised to Preeti. Too cute!! yup....nice sister-in-laws are the best...especially when you are like me and have no sisters...they are awesome when they are nice!! and i've got some of the best!!! 😃😃😃..thanks...only you have mentioned the kiddies so far...glad you noticed 😳

Finally I know that Prem is alive. I mean he has to be. He is the hero after all. Also how long can our poor Heer suffer and pine for him. So i'm waiting eagerly for his comeback! I hope he becomes richer than the Maans. I know its not possible to become rich suddenly in only 7 years but it's a story. So anything is possible!! Hahaha.. tum kaise jaante ho...are you psychic? or are you ekta...bringing people back from the dead...lol...😉

Continue soon. Take care!

Nadia😛

P.S. I think this is the longest comment I ever wrote!! loved it!! thanks for leavin the comment...really enjoyed reading it 😃😃

Originally posted by: sanju_veni

hey nice update n that too a long one.....simply loved it..thanks for pm plz update soon

Originally posted by: cute_bear

that was so good

i loved the premeer flashback

aiihh..

how prem annoucned that he is heers boyfriend

and no one will tease her

and now i just wish that he would come back

and hoping he will soon

update soon

loved it

Originally posted by: 9rpatel

awesome update
continue asap
thanks for the pm
pm me!!!!!!

Originally posted by: Garima93

My Spot! 😃

Originally posted by: *I Heena I*

Heya Jaz.....hope your Ramadhan going well......but i can't wait for all the Eidi at the end hehe ....lovely update...and i loved it coz it was extra long...Prem..Prem...Prem...Jaz when are you going to re introduce Prem ...i think us readers are more anticipated to have him back than Heer

Originally posted by: brainychild92

im really happy that heer is happy for veera but i miss my prem!!! i still can't believe that u killed hihm.. is he going to come back as gaurav??i wonder..lol

continue soon!!!!!

Originally posted by: -fsn-

😊
*edited*
Hi jaz sis.wow atlast i m edited my comment
I read this SS since its start but i was silent so now i think i should give u comment coz u write brilliantly
i cant give u long comment coz i m suck at giving long comment 😳
this story is really amazing & also v sad whenever i read its update i always cry.
the flashbacks r soooooooooo cute.
I really hate maan men they r v bad.
& all the maan women r really sweet.
veera & manmeet perfect couple.
u portray all the things so beautifully.
i really like urs writing style also read Ek Paal it was fab.
wait 4 the next

luv
Fatima

Originally posted by: angel82

Jaz,

that was an awesome part...I absolutely loved Prem -heer FB....it was soo sweet......cute ...and romantic in its own way.... Heer's concern for Veera and Veera's understanding of what heer has been through , was beautifully written....the age difference between them but stilll the bonding between them.....liked all the dialogues between them.....and thank god Veera's happy coz then heer's happy too....nextpart wuld be the engagement I guess ? is it? and when is Prem going to come back....oh i cant wait for his re entry..... glad you liked the FB...i wanted to use this part to show the relationship between Veera and Heer...its been nearly nonexistent for the past 7yrs but they still love each other and trust each other...i hope that came out right...😆😆😆

Rishab jaisa gunda ko kulraj jaisi sweety ke saath 😔 well....he is a gunda but then he isnt...its hard to explain...the story will explain it all eventuallly 😉

Nihaal and Meher - cool , coz both are duffers😊 lol...how so?

Harman and Maya - something we are used to and sounds good-😊 ya...one classic couple besides premeer 😳

Oh now Veera and manmeet - the best pair ever - 😆 haans kyun rahe ho? hume bhi batao 😉

Originally posted by: premeer928

hey
amazing update as usual... 👏👏👏 awww...heer is such a caring sis...loved how she was so worried for veera and all...👍🏼 i just hope manmeet is a nice guy...not a facade...fingers crossed...😉 the flashback was so cute...loved premeer scenes...😍 cant wait for the next part...continue soon....😊



love
Afreen

Originally posted by: -Pooji-

Hey Jaz
omg another long update wow yay lol
the flashback was sooooo cute adorable
loved the way how heer started asking question to veera
Fantastic update as always
loved it
thankz for pm

Originally posted by: fungrl

What Jazz no drama, your Veera is very seedhi, no nutanki at all.......EKTA learn from Jazz😆😆😆. I am sooo glad that Heer was very skeptical of the whole thing, and she called it what it really was a business transaction.....by the way, awesome women dynamics, I just wish they weren't so timid when it came to their husbands, but hey if your husbands are savages than who wouldn't be afraid........I loved how nosy all the family was😆😆😆, I just hope this Manmmet is a good character otherwise😡. Question, is he going to bring my Prem actually Heer's Prem to the picture........me want Prem....Prem, Prem, Prem......ok enough of my bakwas. man...send ekta my way...ill teach her a thing or two about giving the audience what they want!!! she is so annoying...uff...😡😡😡...the women are all there for each other...no matter what the issue...they have a special bond...sadly...they got stuck with some jerks...but that just couldnt be helped 😉😉😉...manmeet is good...but sorry...he has no connection to Prem...but nice plot...⭐️⭐️⭐️

Loved the flash back, I mean how sweet was that when Prem said "I'm not afraid of your brothers" 😍, did I mention I am waiting for Prem to maar his entry soon you may have mentioned it ...😆

Gotta tell you, you write extremely well, the story never seems like its jumping from present to flash back, but it flows like a serene river....btw I thought of a punishment for Maan Men, how about we dress them as teletubbies and have them dance at a Wild DESI Bacheloratte party.....too easy right, me thinking more punishment, you Madam work on the awesome story😉 thanks luv for reading and commenting...next part wlll be posted soon...and omg...that punishment is nice...but too easy...think of something more mean...something with more torture 😉😉😉

Originally posted by: loveabletwinz

JAZZZZZZZZZ!!! finalllyyyyy!!! I cant even begin to tell you how madly excited we are about this FF oooiiii! Bravo bravoooo! *clap hands* okay okay, before any more bak bak--- onto our comment! *woot* omg...woot is right...*woot woot* is more like it!! i was so waitng for you guys....and here you are...*happy tears*...im an emotional sap...as u can tell 😳😳😳

Prologue

wow jaz, you had us with the beginning itself! The descriptions are beautiful! You give us a feel for the story right from the beginning! Kudos!!! i totally want one now...have you ever had a Kudos...they are awesome..all chocolatty and chewy...yummm....thank you 😃😃😃

"It was a love that had passed the test of time, discrimination and paint" --> the thing about us, is that we are suckers for little details(blush)...and this line is just *sigh*, lovely! omg...🤣this had me rolling...because if you read it...you put PAINT...where it should say PAIN...totally turns the dramatic liine into a comical one 🤣🤣🤣🤣 i was totally rolling when i read this..."ti was a love that passed the test of time, discrimination and PAINT!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Uff, tauba! Those ladke's are besharam or whattttttt!!!! YAY for her "savior" I love when you go back in flashback mode ' you make it flow so easily, there is no confusion! Her "savior" is quite the hero eh? Or kyun na ho?! Hehe!

"Unashamedly he had cried on her shoulder as she held him. It was that day he realized he could never love any one more than he loved her" Beautiful jaz! I'm reading this for the second time, and it still has such a weird kind of effect on me :-( there's just this unassuming, unpolished, raw feeling to it that is so likeable! Mwah! i had talked about heer the whole time...i thought i should bring in some of Prem's feelings as well...kyun...after all...prem hai...*swoon* 😳😳😳

"She was dressed in a simple red churidar outfit; her hands done with mehndi, her wrists hidden by her chuda, her neck adorned with the sacred necklace of gold and black beads, a flowered garland resting over her arms as she walked and the parting in her forehead was the color was blood red" - I can actually visualize this...i love this so much! Im suchhh a sucker for details jaz! I tell all my FF writers (giggle)... the fact that you never once had to use the word "mangalsutra" or "sindoor" and we still understood what you were talking about, makes this all the more amazing to read! GREAT descriptions!!!! thank luv...i must say...this part came out better than i thought it would...many people mentioned Heer in her dulhan ki libaaz...im glad i was able to pen it down properly...😳

Paata nahin mausam ko kya hua hai. Lagta hai ke koi tufaan aane wala hai," he said ' AYE HAYE! TAUBAA!! I think we started tearing up right about here! Cutty with you! Very bad! (gasp) ---> but besides that, this line you use to foreshadow what was coming, is BRILLIANT! The calm before a storm! It reminds me of heer when she said, "yeh kis tufaan ko maine hawa de di" :-( omg...cutty...haila...maine kya kiya 😭😭😭 main toh kuch nahin kiya...main toh sweet...INNOCENT ...baachi hoon...kyun 😉...😛

UFF! I love the way u ended it! I always love when someone starts and ends a part with the same lines! It adds this evocative, nostalgic feel to the whole part.. you cant help but look forward to more :-D im happy you all noticed that...no one else did...i thought id try something different for this prologue...and im glad it worked well.. 😊😊😊

Originally posted by: loveabletwinz

Part 1

Be glad jaz, that we werent reading this as you wrote it..or im PAKKKAA sure, you'd have some belan attacks! BESHAK! (giggle) kya kar diya yaarrrrr! TAUBAAA!!! ;_; rula diya tumne! Uff! omg...belans...andolans...kya kya dhamkiyaan aa rahe hai...ever sine i have posted this ff..its like my life is in danger 😉😉😉

"The tortured wail echoed through the palatial mansion that was home to the Maan family. It was only in the dark hours of the night that this call could be heard" ----> ahh! Pretty soon im going to have to google up words! I cant even begin to tell you how powerful a beginning that is! It grabbed my attention the moment I read it! I tell you jaz, I read veryyyy few FF's! And all of those writers have the greatest beginnings! And you have them as well! I cant believe ive never read any of your other works :-( makes me wonder what ive missed out on :-( lmao...i got the words from my friend...he constantlly is using his $10 words...im like wtf? i had to go and look up words in the dictionary when he talked to me...as a joke...when we go out with that friend...one of us always carries a pocket dictionary...just to tease him 😆

"It was the same wind, the same high pitched howl that she had heard on that fateful night seven years ago. It was the same wind that reoccurred on this night for the past seven years, only to completely disappear by day break. It was also the same rain that fell that night. The same drenching, pounding rain that mixed with her tears that night, just like it had for the past seven years. This year it would be no different. Her cries were drowned out by the wind and her tears were accompanied by the rain ' just like they had been on that night seven years ago." ---> this WHOLE paragraph ' GASP! When I read it, I kept thinking, "and what exactly does jaz have in mind?" you didnt write one line about her emotions in this paragraph, yet im forced to feel for her! Mighty brilliant! Man, I cant even find the words to describe this..somehow, I feel like trying to describe this would take away from its magnitude :-( there are soo many lines you wrote that we feel the same about! *APPLAUD* haila...applause...then i must *BOW*...he he...im glad you felt her emotions even though i didnt mention them directly...very astute of you!! 👏👏👏

ah jazyy, the parings...very unlikely parings, but now that I think of them as couples, they seem quite nice... I like that they are so different from the show.. some things are just perfect when left to our imagination!yup...im tired of the same ghisa pita couples and the same over all character...except premeer of course 😳😳...so i wanted to change up the rest of the jodis...glad you liked them 😃

awwie, heer is the only one who remembers her mommy's bday! Baaki sare bekar! (giggle) haha, I love that the guys in the house think its "babuji" responsibility to remind them its Teji's bday! (chuckle)

I adorree the relationship you describe between maya and heer! On the show, they HARDLY interact.. so to read about them like this makes me uberly happy! Hehe! And oooiiii! Nihaal and meher have twinsss! Hehe! And you know EXACTLY why that makes us happy! Haha! Very cute! wait...im lost...why does Nihaal and Meher having twinz make you happy? kya baath hai...you are gonna have to explain...finals took what few brain cells i had left after this quarter...😭 i hate school....just HATE IT!!!

"Kyun ke kaal Rajveer ke saath teri sagaai hai!" --- HAWWWW!!!!! whattttt?!? ufff! I hate that they said it so nonchalantly :-( uff, they are hardly forming a relationship..it sounds like a darn business deal! Uggh! And again, jaz... the very fact that im getting mad at an FF, proves that you are a fabulous writer! You make us feel so much for these characters ! :-D i love your reactions 😆 "HAWWWW" 😆😆😆for some reason...even though i dont know what you all look like...i can totally picture you guys...lmao...any chance you guys have got facebook...a bunch of us are on there...like meera and stuff...we've got like an IF gang 😊

Yeh kissne kiya?" he asked in an icy tone ---> *faint* OMG! It is sooo like prem to be like this! I love it! He takes my breath away whenever he gets protective like this! Hailaaa! i know right!? i want to see Prem like this on the show...he was for one second when he stopped rishab and heers wedding...but then we never saw him again...i love raging bull prem...*drool* 😍

"Prem tumhe meri kasam!" she yelled. That did it ' he stopped." --- aye hayeee! Itna pyaar! Really jaz, I already have tears..and I havent even reached the critical point of this part yet! What are u doing to us? TAUBA!! itna junoon! I tell you, prem has totally become synonymous to passion now! Ufff! Kisi ki nazar na lage in dono ko :-D one thing i love about these ff's i do...is the couples...the men are usually arrogant, stubborn, and egotistical to some point...but...then...they have these women...who are innocent, sweet and just simple...who can control them (in a good way) with one little word...one little gesture...that shows the power of love...😳

Have I mentioned I lovee heer and maya's rishta here? Oh hoo! If only maya had been this super amazing on the show! Lol! I love her for doing what she did! "Meri Heer ko humesha kush rakhna" *sigh* I dont know why, but that is making me cry! What is it about that line? Uffff! i have to say..im blessed when it comes to bhabis...most of mine are just awesome!!! 😃😃😃 i love them to pieces...they are like the sisters i never had...of course...a few are not as great...but still...bhabiyaan hai...kya karein?

"Heer, tum Bua banne wali ho," Maya said with a sweet smile" *sob* I have goosebumps.. you write things so beautifully yaar! Mui fabuloso!!!!!!! love that word!! 👏

"When she looked up at him shyly, just for an instant when their eyes met, he felt his heart skip a beat" ---> I cross my heart and hope to die --- that is soo pretty! Man, by the end of this part, I think im gong to die of a broken heart (sob) speaking of broken heart...i just finished reading "hearbreaker" by julie garwood...awesome...AWESOME!! its so cute...its about this FBI agent who is called by his best friend, because someone threatened to kill his sister...Mr. FBI turns into her bodyguard...and omg...LOVE is in the AIR!!! 😉😉😉

AHHH!!! you brought that part from the prologue back in here! Ufff! Every time I read that, its like my heart stands still! Especially when Prem says "lagta hai ke koi tufaan aane wala hai" woh hawayen rukh badal rahi hain, signifying the biggest tufaan yet to come...a whirlwind of tragedy is about to strike their world! (sob) i had to bridge the connection to that fateful night that changed everything...and there it was...

aww, I love that they are talking about kids already! Soo cute! I think what I love more about it is that even though there is a feel of sadness, there is also happiness...just the fact that they are together! "Chi, kya tum uski naam "Nishaani" rakhoge?" haha! How cuteeeee! Ooiii---> looadsss of jhappis and bear hugs for using that "chahat" scene in here! Theres a different kind of feel to it when I think about Prem saying that! YAYYYYY!!! is it just me...or is the name Nishaani sounding pretty cute...😆😆😆...i mean think of it...its got potential...you can call her nishu..nisha...shani...lmao...ive completely lost it 😆

UFFFFFFFF!! balraj is such a cold-hearted, HIDEOUS man! Btw, I lovee how it went from so calm to so intense in a matter of few lines! Very well written! all i can say for balraj is 🤬

No no noooo! Why did u kill prem? NOOO!!1 cutttyyy with youuuu!!! ufff, I feel sooo sadd! Gosh! I feel like a pit formed in my stomach.. a bottomless one! NAHIIIII!!!!! RISHABB!! you, you .. u sick sick man! This guy has a heart of stone! Can you imagine the pain heer is going through??? the kind of "gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart-pain" AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! oh btw, i REFUSE to believe our prem is dead! heer simply CANNOT go on withouth prem! pweaasee tell me u have a little plan up your sleeve, and our prem will be back.. all hatta katta! pweaaseee! begging you! haat pakadke bheek mangoing! 😭 omg...cutty #2...lmao...i remember doing that with people as a kid...but like 5min later...we'd be all good again...lmfao!!! ha ha...Prem is dead...and yes...i am teasing you...because you have to suffer since i already know what will happen 😈...i know...im evil...raaz ki baath batooun?...im damn proud of it ...shhh...kissi ko batana maat 😉

"Her sister-in-laws were left behind with picking up the shattered pieces of her life, her heart, her soul and the broken pieces of her body" --> OMGG!!! poor heer! These dumb brothers of hers! I wonder if they have ANY idea that they have finally shattered every warmth and confidence from within her! UGHHHHH!!!

"Happy 7th Wedding Anniversary Prem," Heer said as she stared of at the dark sky" *tear tear 'sob* im not kidding jaz! We're a messs! Im still crying! All thanks to you! But for some reason, this line warmed the cockles of my heart :-D It's such a beautiful end to this part! And she still has his mangalsutra! Ahh, poor heer...it probably feels like all the word and its beauty has come to an end! actually...that part of the ending got to me as well...it was sad...but warming to see that even 7yrs later she is so close to him...and omg...when you wrote "cockles" of my heart...i read "cockroaches"...im like huh 😲...what is that...my bad...gotta read slower 😆

Ooii, im extremeelly sorry for this LAMBAA comment! Hehe! But I couldnt help it! We just LOVEEDDDD this part! You are a FABULOUS writer! This FF has joined my list of favourites! *SIGH* excellent part! why the sorry!! i LOVED IT!!! totally awesome!!! 👍🏼