I love the titles of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episodes. Don't you? So in tribute to FRIENDS, this one's titled The One With The Inferiority Complexes. The idea for this came to me yesterday morning, if I'm not wrong, and it was just so adorable that I had to write it out. I hope you guys like it! This one's dedicated to Radz, again because I posted it before she could read it. (What can I do? She's on the plane!!!)
P.S. This hasn't been proofread yet, so please excuse any mistakes you see! 😳
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The One with the Inferiority Complexes
"Meher? Arre, Meher, tum kahaan ho? Mujhe bhookh lag rahi hai!" Preet grumbled as he hunted the house for his wife. It was Harman's turn to take Gayatri to the doctor's for her check-up, and Maya had been dragged along with them. Lalit had spontaneously taken the kids to the zoo, so Preet couldn't even find a sympathetic ear in his father. "MEHER!"
As he drew closer to the kitchen, he heard three voices laughing. Raising an eyebrow, he hurried to the kitchen. What was so funny? He stood just outside the kitchen, peeking inside and spotting Meher there, along with Kulraaj Di and Heer Bhabhi.
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"Arre, yaar, main keh rahi hoon na, Dostana ka magic John aur Abhishek ke chemistry mein tha!" Kulraaj insisted, cutting up a carrot for the salad. Meher was kneading the atta and Heer was making the subji.
"Lekin storyline mein bhi mazaa tha!" Heer replied.
"Haan, storyline mein mazaa tha, lekin agar John aur Abhishek ke beech mein chemistry nahin thi toh storyline bhi flop ho jaati!" Kulraaj pressed her point.
Meher paused. "Aap dono ko lagta hai ki John aur Abhishek ne sach mein kiss kiya?"
Kulraaj burst out laughing.
Heer grinned. "Meher, Hindi filmon mein ladke-ladki ke beech mein bhi kiss nahin hoti, toh ladke-ladke ke beech mein kaise hogi? Camera ka angling tha, aur kya?"
Meher pouted. "Agar sach mein dono ne kiss kiya toh kitna mazaa aata na?"
Kulraaj couldn't help but agree, but Heer rolled her eyes.
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Preet made a face. What was so mazeydaar about two guys kissing?
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"Yeh Hrithik bhi kitna achcha dance karta hai, hai na?" Meher asked, a faraway look on her face. She gave a sigh. "Kaash Preet bhi aisa dance kar sakta!"
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Preet frowned. Was Meher really wishing he could dance like Hrithik?! His ego was bruised. He could dance well! Heck, he was the best dancer in the family!
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"Sach maano toh Preet humare ghar ke ladkon ka best dancer hai," Kulraaj stated.
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Thank you! Preet thought with a smug grin.
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"Lekin Hrithik se behtar koi nahin dance kar sakta!" Meher shot back, and the three of them laughed again.
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Preet pouted, folding his arms, his hunger forgotten. So Meher thought that no one danced better than Hrithik, did she? Well, he'd show her!
And Preet (and his much-bruised ego) marched off to his room.
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Kiran was on the verge of tearing his hair out. He couldn't believe Vikaas' fractions homework could be so…hard!
He heaved a sigh, letting his head drop onto his arms. He needed Kulraaj.
He rose from his desk. He figured she'd be in the kitchen, so he decided to look there first.
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"Speaking of Hrithik, usski kya body hai!" Heer commented, earning herself a surprised look from Kulraaj as Meher laughed harder. "What?"
"You think Hrithik has a hot body?!" Kulraaj asked, feeling the giggles bubble up inside her again. "I'm shocked at you, Heer!"
"Arre, Kul Di, there's a lot you don't know about Heer Di!" Meher replied.
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Ladkiyan bhi kitni loud hain, Kiran thought with a frown as he neared the kitchen. He was still in the living room and already he could hear them laughing. What do girls talk about all day?
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"Agar tum mujhse poocho, na, toh I'd take John's body any day!" Kulraaj commented, moving on to the tomatoes.
"Nahin, Di, mujhe nahin lagta ki John ki body aap par achchi lagegi!" Heer joked.
Neither Meher nor Kulraaj laughed. Instead, they turned to her with a "…what?..." look on their face. Heer blushed.
"That…wasn't funny," Meher said.
"I know," Heer muttered, stirring the subji.
Meher and Kulraaj exchanged a look, hiding their smiles. It was a little funny.
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Kiran paused outside the kitchen. It was probably better for him to make sure that they weren't talking about any…girl problems…before he entered. He winced, remembering the time he had walked in on Heer and Kulraaj discussing cures for menstrual cramps. That had been a wholly unpleasant moment.
So he leaned in a little, not that he needed to. The girls were tremendously loud anyway.
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"Sach mein, agar Kiran ko John ki body hoti, toh meri life toh ban jati!" Kulraaj said with an exaggerated sigh. "Unfortunately for me, just the thought of going to the gym tires Kiran out!"
Meher and Heer laughed.
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Kiran frowned. He looked down at himself, pressing his shirt against his chest in an attempt to see if he had a six-pack.
He made a face. Fine. So maybe he didn't work out, but that didn't mean that Kulraaj had to embarrass him in front of Heer and Meher!
Forgetting that he had meant to get help on Vikaas' homework, he returned to his room, determined to begin doing some push-ups and sit-ups.
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Prem sighed, fumbling with his cuffs. He had no idea how some men could button their own cuffs, but he sure wished he did. He looked up. Why was Heer never around when he needed her?
He left the room, his cuffs still unbuttoned, calling out Heer's name as he searched for her.
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"Achcha, agar aap kissi ek actor ke saath shaadi kar sakte ho, toh kisse shaadi kar lengi?" Meher asked, glancing up at Kulraaj and Heer.
Both of them paused in their preparations, thinking.
"Shaadi…" Kulraaj repeated slowly.
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"Heer?" Prem called out, peering into a room. "Shayad kitchen mein hogi…"
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"Main toh Arjun Bijlani ke saath shaadi kar leti!" Kulraaj chirped, happy that she had settled on one.
Heer made a face. "Nahin…I don't think so…"
Kulraaj stuck her tongue out at Heer. "Toh tum kisse shaadi karogi?"
Heer smiled, blushing a little. "I used to dream about being Mrs. Shahid Kapoor."
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Prem stopped. Had he just heard Heer say that she dreamed of being Mrs. Shahid Kapoor?!
He peered into the kitchen.
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"Hmm, Heer, tumhe toh bohut achcha taste hai!" Kulraaj replied.
Heer grinned proudly.
"Haan, Shahid Kapoor bohut sweet hai!" Meher agreed, a dizzy smile on her face as she thought about the actor.
"Aur woh bohut cute bhi hai!" Heer added, still blushing.
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Prem pouted. So Heer didn't think he was cute? He was cute! Prem was cute!
…
Wasn't he?
He left to find a mirror.
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Twenty minutes later, the three ladies carried their various dishes out: Meher held the container with the rotis, Heer carried the subji and Kulraaj made up the rear, bringing with her a bowl of salad.
"Woh St. Ives ka jo vanilla soap hai na, I like that one!" Kulraaj was saying.
"Mujhe strawberry soap achcha lagta hai," Meher responded.
"Prem aur Preet aur Kiran Jiju kahaan hai?" Heer wondered as she set the subji down on the table.
Kulraaj and Meher looked around.
"Arre, haan. Ab tak toh Preet ko bhookh lagna chahiye!" Meher commented.
"Kiran shayad Vikaas ka homework kar raha hoga…" Kulraaj left the table, heading for her room.
"Main Prem ko dhoondti hoon," Heer told Meher.
Meher followed behind her.
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"Preet?" Meher called out. "Preet?" There was still no answer. "Kamaal hai, lunchtime hai aur Preet kahin nahin dikhayi de raha hai!"
She decided to go see if he was working in their room.
She frowned as she drew closer, wondering why there was very loud music coming from their room.
She pushed open the door slightly, highly amused at what she saw.
'Dhoom 2' was playing on the TV, and Preet was trying to imitate Hrithik's steps to 'Dhoom Again'. She covered her mouth with her hand, struggling to keep her laughter in. She watched as Preet attempted a spin, but instead fell back against the bed. He rubbed his shin, cursing.
Meher came into the room. She cleared her throat.
Preet sent a death glare her way. "See what you made me do?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Maine kya kiya?"
"Arre, tumne kahaa tha na, ki Hrithik se behtar koi nahin dance kar sakta! I'll show you that I can dance better than him!" And he attempted another move, straight out of Dhoom 2, and failed miserably, collapsing on the floor.
Meher couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing, immediately stuffing her fist into her mouth. Preet glared at her, rubbing his ankle, trying to keep the pain off his face.
"Did you sprain it?" Meher asked, hurrying to him. She knelt down beside him and gingerly touched his ankle.
Unable to help himself, Preet let out a howl of pain. Meher rolled her eyes.
"This is what happens when your ego gets the better of you, Preet!" she chided. "Main ice lekar aati hoon. Don't move!"
Preet stared bitterly after her, rubbing his ankle sourly.
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"Kiran?" Kulraaj popped her head into her room. Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.
Kiran was on the floor, in a push-up position, struggling to prop himself up with his arms.
Kulraaj entered the room, leaning against the door frame and watching Kiran for a moment. She bit her lip hard, trying not to laugh. She finally decided she should spare him. "Kiran, yeh tum kya kar rahey ho?"
Kiran collapsed onto the floor. He looked up at Kulraaj, a determined look in his eyes. "Tumhe John ka body achcha lagta hai na? I'll show you!" And he resumed the push-up position, his arms trembling. "SEVEN!"
Kulraaj frowned, wondering what he was talking about. As the realization struck her, she rolled her eyes. "Kiran, tum bhi na! Chalo, get up!" She went to her husband, standing over him and waiting for him to stand up.
Kiran glared at her. "EIGHT!"
A smirk grew on her face. "Stand up or I'll sit on you."
Kiran continued to glare at her, but this time he straightened up. His face immediately changed, twisting into searing pain. "My…back…"
Kulraaj shook her head. "Dekha? This is what happens when you don't work out, and then all of a sudden start doing push ups!"
Kiran looked at her. "Are you going to help me or not?"
She rolled her eyes and went to the bathroom to get the tube of Moov.
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"Prem? Arre, Prem kahaan chala gaya?" Heer wondered. She had looked in nearly every room in the house, save one: her own. So she made her way there, twisting the end of her dupatta, wondering what Prem was doing that he hadn't come for lunch.
She stepped into the room and immediately stopped, frowning. Prem stood at the mirror, leaning so close to it that his face nearly touched the cool glass, pushing his hair this way and that and twisting his face into different expressions.
She stared at him for a while, wondering what exactly he was doing.
"Prem?" she asked cautiously.
Prem jumped and turned to her, his face red, as if he had been caught doing something wrong. He smiled sheepishly. "Heer! Tum…tum yahaan kya kar rahi ho?"
"Woh…Khana tayaar hai, toh main tumhe bulaane aayi thi," she answered. "Lekin…tum kya kar rahey they?"
"Kuch nahin," Prem answered – too quickly. A hand shot out behind him and grabbed a piece of paper, crumpling it. He smiled at Heer. "Kuch nahin!"
Heer raised an eyebrow. "Woh…kaagaz?"
Prem shoved it in his pocket as Heer drew closer to him. "K-kuch nahin, Heer! Bas…kaam ke kuch papers…"
"Kaam ke? Dikha do, na, shayad main tumhari madad kar sakoongi?"
Prem couldn't back away anymore, considering he was already at the dresser. So Heer was able to quite successfully corner him.
As Prem looked at her nervously, Heer smiled at him, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the paper. She unfolded it and looked at it. She looked up at Prem.
"Shahid Kapoor?!"
"What's so cute about him?" Prem whined. "Isske paas kya hai jo mujhe nahin hai?"
Heer frowned. "Tum kya keh rahey ho?"
"Tumhe Shahid Kapoor se shaadi karna hai na? Toh jaao! Shaadi kar lo!" Prem pouted, turning away, folding his arms.
It took Heer a moment to realize what he was talking about, and when she did, she turned bright red. "Prem! Maine toh bas aise hi kahaa! We were just talking, Prem! Aur waise bhi, don't act as if you've never wished you were married to that Katrina Kaif!"
Prem blushed a little. He looked at Heer. "So…do you think I'm cute?"
Heer rolled her eyes, stifling a laugh. She put her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. "Of course I do. And even if I didn't, I'd still love you."
Prem smiled. He hugged Heer back.
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Heer scrubbed the dishes in the kitchen as Meher cut up a mango for Preet. Kulraaj brought in the containers, the subji bowl in one hand and the roti one in the other. They worked silently for a moment.
"Tum dono ko pata hai ki Kiran kya kar raha tha?" Kulraaj asked, breaking the silence.
Heer and Meher looked up as Kulraaj related what she had seen.
"So that's why he was sitting so oddly!" Heer commented.
"Ajeeb hai…Preet ne bhi aisa kuch kiya!" Meher told them what Preet had been doing, and the others burst into laughter.
"Tumhe pata hai ki Prem ne kya kiya?" Heer related her tale of Prem and the picture of Shahid Kapoor, and the three of them laughed harder.
"Ladke bhi bohut ajeeb hain!" Meher said.
"Kya karein? Unke ego itne huge hain!" Kulraaj stated matter-of-factly.
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Ta-dah! I hope you guys liked it! 😳
Love,
Bhav (:
Anupamaa
