'Chupke Chupke' - note, page 30

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Meera

@indiandoll89

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#191

I loved this Radz!!! 😃😛

Poor Preet....goat's milk? *tsk tsk tsk* And I love the "Baap kiske hain?" "Prem ka," It was too good! 😆 I could so see that scene happening on the show!!😛 Unless it already has....*scratches chin* Anyhoo! 😛

The WHOLE thing with the kids was FANTASTIC!! I love them! 😛 They are all just so adorable and I love the way you described their actions, so easy to visualize!😛 I'm glad they "kinda" called a truce so far though! 😛

And yay for premeer! 😛 I don't know why you didn't like it Radz, I found it perfect! 😃😳 (like most of your writing! 😉)

That whole Nisha part was awesome, I love misunderstandings like that, and Harman repeating what she said was awesome, 😆 Koi na koi twist aanewala hain! 😛

Continue soon!! 😃

Love you loads,

Meera! 😳

P.S. Updated my comments for Part 6 on Pg. 24 too! 😃😳

Quote

Kashish

@..kashish..

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

#192

hey radz..just caught up with ur ff...wow i am loving it...good to see manmeet on the good side here...and that the maan and junuja parivaar know the truth! wonder what will happen next..pls do continue soon!

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Aradhna

@Anhdara13

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#193

Originally posted by: indiandoll89
I shall edit this asap! 😃

*edited*

Yes it's like a week (or more) since you updated, but I kept forgetting! 😔😳 Sorry Radz, but hey good thing is I'm here now! 😛Aw, it's okay. I'm glad you took the time to read!

I LOVED THE PHHANDOOH!!! 😃 It was just totally perfect, the way their eyes spoke, every word was clear through it! 😛 Seriously....nothing could be as good as that!😳 Ahh, you are way too sweet. You write phandooh's so much better than me. 😳 But thanks anyways!

YAY For Meet! 😛 I loved the comment from Preet to Meher and her not knowing if she should take it as a compliment or not?😛 They're always too cute! 😃 Yesh, they are. I love writing them. Especially in this story.

Preet makes me happy, just think you should know that! 😃 the way he was "observing" his siblings was cute 😛 and oh oh oh!! Kul's here too! 😃😳 YAY! 😛There are a LOT of characters in this story. I'm glad you're liking things so far.

I'm glad Ash said everything and now Heer made a good choice in suggesting to tell the Juneja's everything!😃Uh-huh. You will notice that things get resolved relatively quickly in this story. 😆

Awww Shaurya and Mahek are cute! 😛 Can't wait to see what you plan to do next! 😛

Love you loads, love you too!

Meera😳

P.S. Off to edit the next one 😃 off to comment back!

Originally posted by: indiandoll89
I loved this Radz!!! 😃😛Aw thanks!

Poor Preet....goat's milk? *tsk tsk tsk* And I love the "Baap kiske hain?" "Prem ka," It was too good! 😆 I could so see that scene happening on the show!!😛 Unless it already has....*scratches chin* Anyhoo! 😛I don't think so. *scratches head* Did it? Anywho, they tend to write themselves. 😆

The WHOLE thing with the kids was FANTASTIC!! I love them! 😛 They are all just so adorable and I love the way you described their actions, so easy to visualize!😛 I'm glad they "kinda" called a truce so far though! 😛Thank you so much Meera! I'm really glad you enjoyed it! There should be more of them in later parts as well.

And yay for premeer! 😛 I don't know why you didn't like it Radz, I found it perfect! 😃😳 (like most of your writing! 😉) You would. Where's your honesty? 😆

That whole Nisha part was awesome, I love misunderstandings like that, and Harman repeating what she said was awesome, 😆 Koi na koi twist aanewala hain! 😛😆 I think you will enjoy the story coming then.

Continue soon!! 😃

Love you loads, love you too!

Meera! 😳

P.S. Updated my comments for Part 6 on Pg. 24 too! 😃😳
Love,
Radz

Quote

Aradhna

@Anhdara13

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#194

Originally posted by: sourpuss
I shall reserve this for later!
--B (:

Wheee I'm back! Oh gosh you must be like so pissed off at your dad...*offers a sympathetic hug 🤗* Ooh if it makes you feel better, I have this urge to make chocolate chip muffins soon! I can just imagine them...golden brown domed tops...soft fluffy inside...I'm drooling just thinking about it. Oh wow, now I'm hungry. 😆

I didn't mention this when I beta-ed it, but the milk part was so cute! I can just imagine Preet like that, covered in milk and standing there so annoyed and embarrassed...😍 Aw, thanks. And this has nothing to do with the fact that it was Preet right? 😆

Ohmigosh the kids are so adorable! Tannu is just the sweetest! She seriously seems like the oldest to me, what with her wisdom (I was this close to saying 'wise-ness') and her sobriety...It was funny...Like, her brothers are getting so high over the chocolate and she's just sitting there quietly...Reminds me of the time I was at a rehearsal and someone brought out vodka and Ribena...Just FYI, I did not drink. But I was very very amused...! 😆 Ohkay. Missing your random messages.

Try not to stay too mad at your dad, and remember your punching bag is like, an SMS away! 😆

Love, love you too!

Bhav (:

Originally posted by: ashpush
Radzie!! Ashie! I missed you!
I just read all the updates that i had missed...And Im not at all sore,considering u had updated only a few chapters after my break*grins*..chalo, u atleast did me that favour..lol.. 😆 Lucky you. 😆

All the updates were great..My personal favourite was the prem-heer mandir scene..it had me go like sighhhhhhhhhhh...It was soo beautiful..loved it totally!....Im glad that Manmeet is not a villian in ur FF..its a refreshing change:) And Im glad everything is out now...But I guess these people wont remain silent..they will come up with something else when this does not work..well, i guess i ll have to w&w... Now, they wouldn't remain silent, and they didn't! Things get okay relatively quick in this story, you will notice. I have no patience to write too much of the same trouble. I won't drag things out.

Ah,as for Preet...u really are giving us heavy doses of (god)Preet and his Preetstess..lol..I likeyyyy:D..Hmm..the Nisha-Harman angle will be interesting to read...

Anyway,cya next time..

Thank you Ashie! I hope you like what else comes!

@ Sweta: Thank you!

Originally posted by: munam_13
Radzieeeee Lovely update... I loved the first last and middle part unlike you😆 Thanks Priyo! 😆 That's sweet.
Loved the way it started with Preet all drenced in goat's milk *imagining Preet* and loved the strategic war between Preet and Meher...imagine if these two get together , they are capable of turning on a tornado😆 Wait and watch what they do! I think you will enjoy their nok-jhok. 😆😉
Btw who's Nisha...but she seems interesting...update soon will be waiting😃Nisha is an OC, I hope you will like her! Thanks for reading and commenting!

Love,
Radz

Quote

Aradhna

@Anhdara13

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#195

Originally posted by: shabo24
I got like a couple more things to comment on - and PM's so sorry di, short comment. =[ Aw, it's okay. I'm glad you read it!

BUT THIS PART WAS FAB! I just fell in love with every kids that you penned because you wrote them fantastically! And the couples you started sketching in looks GREAT! Loving it! Thank you sweetie! The kids are so much fun to write. 😆 The couples too.

--shabz

@ zaibun: Thank you!

@ premeer928: Thanks sweetie! I'm glad you are enjoying it!

Originally posted by: ..kashish..
hey radz..just caught up with ur ff...wow i am loving it...good to see manmeet on the good side here...and that the maan and junuja parivaar know the truth! wonder what will happen next..pls do continue soon!

Thanks Kashish! I'm glad to have caught your interest! Hope you enjoy what comes next.

Love,
Radz

Quote

Aradhna

@Anhdara13

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#196

Yo from Sydney! I didn't update last week, sorry, but I'm updating regularly again, I promise! I hope you guys enjoy this bit. It's got no PremHeer, sorry 'bout that, but Meet fans will be happy! And it moves the story along.

-||-

Part 8

The youngsters had planned an escape the day before Prem and Heer's engagement, tired of being regulated chores that were then redone by someone else. Prem and Heer had slipped out together for lunch, though not as discreetly as they would have liked. Mahek had been asked to stay home, a fact her husband had mercilessly teased her about. She had retaliated by suggesting to Teji that Shaurya help her out. Harman had, to the amusement of his younger brother, actually opted to stay and help out. Veera had informed Preet that she had peeked into his sketchbook and found Harman's new subject of fancy. It amused the two to no end that their seedha-sadha elder brother had finally taken an interest in a girl rather than his art. (Though Preet supposed in this case the girl had become the centre of his art.)

Ashlesha had managed to convince the adults to let the rest of them out for a few hours, freeing the adults from the kids running a foot. This brought them to two hours later, where Ash had convinced the three Canadians to try chaat, eaten from one of the stalls at the roadside. Veera had enjoyed it immensely, much to even her own surprise, Kulraj had not managed to even try a bite before her children began to drag her in opposite directions and Preet had gotten an incredibly spicy mouthful thanks to Meher's engineering. He fanned his mouth furiously, glaring at Meher. Ash handed him a bottle of cold water, and watched as he gulped it down.

"So Preet," she purred. (Meher rolled her eyes in annoyance.) "What did you enjoy doing in Canada?"

Preet smirked, soaking in the attention (and shot a quick look at Meher, though he would deny if ever confronted). "Partying and flirting."

Ash giggled. (Meher huffed.) "My favourite things!"

Preet feigned surprise. "Were you made for me or what!" Both laughed, Preet slinging an arm casually around Ash's shoulders. (They ignored Meher's sarcastic mutter of "Oh what.")

Meher was cross as she watched her cousin flirt with the NRI Idiot as they made their way back home. She could not see what Ash saw in the Idiot. It was not as though he was anything special. He was not even all that good looking, though she supposed he had a nice smile. She frowned. That did not change the fact that he was a pompous, arrogant, stubborn jerk. She yanked furiously at the gate latch, cutting herself in the process. She hissed in pain and pulled her hand back. She paled as she saw the blood seep from the cut.

Preet scoffed. "It's such a tiny cut!"

Meher pouted childishly, tears pooling at her eyes. "But it hurts," she wailed. Preet rolled his eyes in disbelief and, ignoring her, walked into the house. Meher sniffled.

"Main dekthi hoon," Ash tugged at Meher's hand.

Meher made a face. "Koi zaroorat nahi, tum jao apne boyfriend ke paas."

Ash raised an eyebrow. "Meher? Tumhe lya hua?"

"Mujhe kya hua? Mujhe kya hua? Yeh tumhe kya hua Ash?" Meher asked incredulously. "Tum yeh jaanti bhi ho ke tum kis ke saath flirt kar rahi thi? Uss Idiot ne mujhe itna bala-bura kaha, aur phir bhi tum?" She sniffed again for effect.

Ash rolled her eyes. "Yeh drama band karo." Meher stuck out her tongue at her best friend. "Meher main shaadi todi na kar rahi hoon, sirf flirt hi kar rahi hoon, jo main sab ki saath karti hoon." She waved her arms to emphasise.

"Haan, lekin baki sab itne batameez nahi ke woj mujhe, mujhe moti kahe!" Ash's mouth fell open in shock. No wonder Meher did not like him. She only really kept a grudge when someone made a comment about her weight (which she was already so conscious about).

"Uss ne aisa kaha?"

Meher looked a bit uncomfortable. "Not in those words exactly, but matlab yehi thi!"

"Meher," Ashe scolded. "Jiju ka bhai hai, aur inna cute hai. Hai," she sighed. "inna sona munda hai."

Meher pouted again. "Tum aur tumhare 'cute boys'." She slipped an arm through Ash's. "But you promise not to marry him?"

"Promise."

"Pakka?"

"Arre, pakka baba!" With that, Ash dragged Meher into the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veera was lost, again. She fiddled with the hem of her shirt. Her Hindi was also not so fluent, and she was scared to approach anyone for help lest she make a fool out of herself. Walking aimlessly down the street, she kept looking for something or someone she recognised. She bumped slightly into someone, and she turned to apologise at the same time he did. They had only just gotten their apologies out (again at the same time) when they got a good look at one another.

"Tum?" Both cried in unison, one in despair and the other in shock and slight amusement that he had run into the girl whose words had gotten him thinking again.

"Tum phir se mujhe lecture toh nahi dene vale right?" Veera demanded furiously.

Manmeet chuckled. "No. Darasal, I'm glad I ran into you." He pulled the strap of his bag higher onto his shoulder. "I wanted to say thanks. Uss din ki mulaqat ne mujhe kuch sochne liye diya. You were right. Everyone does have choices."

Veera blinked in surprise. "You're welcome?" She looked stunned.

Manmeet nodded in amusement and understanding. He grinned wryly. "Let's hope our next meeting is less eventful."

"Let's hope we don't meet again," Veera snarked, not liking the fact that this man had managed to unsettle her, twice. She sniffed and turned around, as if to leave before remembering that she was lost. She was thus thankful to spot Kulraj Di. She flonced off, leaving Manmeet rolling his eyes at her tendency to be dramatic. Two meetings had taught him that she was stubborn, even if they had not taught him her name.

He began to make his way to the bus station. He had hoped to meet someone from the Maans' house to inform them of his plans to leave Ambala, but he supposed he could phone them from the station.

He purchased a one-way ticket to Delhi before stepping into the phone booth. He dialled the Maans' number from memory, thanking his many years of friendship with Ash.

"Hello?" It was Ash.

"Ashlesha, main Manmeet bol raha hoon."

"Manmeet? Tum? Sab theek toh hain? Tum theek toh ho? Di yah Jija Ji ne kuch kiya toh nahi?" She panicked.

"I'm fine Ash. Main bilkul theek hoon," Manmeet grinned, relieved she could not see him. "Bas, yeh kehne ke liye phone kiya ke main Delhi shift ho raha hoon."

"Delhi?" Her confusion was evident. "But, you said-"

"Yes, I did, but I met two people in the past week that had me re-evaluating things." Manmeet ran his hand through his hair. "Why do I hold on to a family that obviously cares nothing for me?" He sighed.

"But Delhi? Manmeet, you don't have to move."

"I need a fresh start," he explained.

"But contrary to your opinion, there are people that care about you here."

"Who?" Manmeet asked, not cruelly but bluntly. "Besides you, I don't have any friends."

"That's not true," Ash blustered. "Prem Jiju! Prem Jiju bhi tom tumhara dost hai, aur usme toh tumhe shaadi pe bhi bulaya hai. Tum shaadi se pehle kaise ja sakte ho?"

Manmeet paused. That was true, he had promised Prem. And he did not want to lose a friend like Prem.

"So it's settled, you're coming to stay here!" Ash continued happily. "I'll send Bhaiyya to pick you up. Bye!" She hung up before Manmeet could say anything.

He looked at the phone in fond exasperation. Whatever else she may be, Ash was a good person, and a great friend.

-||-

Do let me know what you think!

Oh, and this has not been proofread.

Love,
Radz

Edited by Anhdara13 - 16 years ago

Quote

Bhavna

@sourpuss

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#197

RADZ!!! *reserves* P.S. Come online please?!

Yay you're online. Good girl!

Aww Meher's jealous! And Preet's *making* her jealous! 🤣 That is so awesome. Are you gonna make a Veera/Manmeet pairing or something? It seems like you're heading that way...

Okay yeah my brain's fried. Oooh here's something weird: I had bhel for dinner. Homemade, but still! How coincidental is that? And go Meher for spiking Preet's chaat with chili! 🤣

Love,

Bhav (:

Edited by sourpuss - 16 years ago

Quote

And I should tell you because...?

@shabo24

Rocker

Posted: 16 years ago

#198

Ash - Preet sarcasm. 🤣 Meher getting jealous. 🤣 Manmeet AND Veera?!?!!? 🤣 Priceless update!

Yea I copped out of a comment. Sue me. 😆

--shabz

Quote

Meera

@indiandoll89

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#199

Oh my gosh! 😳😃

I LOVED this update...so much progression in everything! 😃😳

I loved the way Meher is getting jealous! 😃 And so quickly! 😛 It makes me giddyily happy! 😳

And ohhhh I love Ash's "infatuation" kinda with Preet! 😃😛 It's cute...

Interesting...Veera and Manmeet? 😳😛 That'll prove to be a very interesting 'jodi"

Continue soon! 😃

Love you loads,

Meera😳

Quote

Aradhna

@Anhdara13

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

#200

Originally posted by: sourpuss
RADZ!!! *reserves* P.S. Come online please?!

Yay you're online. Good girl!

Aww Meher's jealous! And Preet's *making* her jealous! 🤣 That is so awesome. Are you gonna make a Veera/Manmeet pairing or something? It seems like you're heading that way... 😆 Meher and Preet are really fun to write. And no comment on the Veera Manmeet thing.

Okay yeah my brain's fried. Oooh here's something weird: I had bhel for dinner. Homemade, but still! How coincidental is that? And go Meher for spiking Preet's chaat with chili! 🤣Oh-kay. I love bhel. Meher is so cute, so much fun to write.

Love, love you too.

Bhav (:

Originally posted by: shabo24
Ash - Preet sarcasm. 🤣 Meher getting jealous. 🤣 Manmeet AND Veera?!?!!? 🤣 Priceless update! Aw, thanks! I'm glad you were amused. 😆 I think you will like the next part.

Yea I copped out of a comment. Sue me. 😆

--shabz

Originally posted by: indiandoll89
Oh my gosh! 😳😃

I LOVED this update...so much progression in everything! 😃😳 Yupyup, things happen pretty fast in this story. 😆 Except me writing it. 😆

I loved the way Meher is getting jealous! 😃 And so quickly! 😛 It makes me giddyily happy! 😳Aw, that's good, but don't expect it so much. Yet. 😆

And ohhhh I love Ash's "infatuation" kinda with Preet! 😃😛 It's cute... Thank you! Wait, there shall be more! 😉

Interesting...Veera and Manmeet? 😳😛 That'll prove to be a very interesting 'jodi" No comment. I think you will enjoy their interaction though.

Continue soon! 😃

Love you loads, love you too!

Meera😳

@ Sweta: Soon!

Love,
Radz

Quote

1 ... 18 19 20 21 22 23

'Chupke Chupke' - note, page 30 - Page 20

Related Topics

Explore Topics