Middle Class Sapna - Page 6

Thank you for all your responses, given the lack of time, I would just summarise the entire thing again:

1. The problematic statement of ‘Middle Class Dream’ bothers me and shall always do. Women can have any dream they want, but that categorical statement of middle class dream being to just raise a family is my issue.

2. Let’s come to HOMEMAKERS. I have a HUGE respect for them. They account for this country’s UNPAID labour and workforce. If the work they do is accounted for, it will probably have a huge monetisation. But, clearly here the debate is NOT about homemakers vs working women, it’s about lacking the ability to see beyond. There are women who focus on family and structure gendered roles to match the care giver and the provider options. Fair enough. No issues there and no problem there too.

3. Let’s talk about financial independence. Irrespective of gender, yes, both man and woman should be equal participants in care giving. Roles they can decided, unpaid care giver or provider. It’s a GREAT balance to have. Problem occurs when the PROVIDER option goes missing in people’s lives. Death, divorce, separation etc etc. There could be many reasons. Earning your money always helps in such situations. That’s why my emphasis on personal earnings for everyone. You never know what life gives you. One must have their income at hand. You earn, you work and have that financial independence-Man or Woman doesn’t matter. You become an independent unit who is strong enough to function alone even when no one supports you or anyone is around. That’s important in this world. Again MAN and woman doesn’t matter.

4. Prerna and her dreams-For all I care, she lands up with anyone. She’s hardly a joke to tell people. Someone told me she wasn’t interested in studies. That’s nothing to be proud of! Having SIMPLE dreams is different than complete NON-EXPLORATION of the option of any other form of ambition.

5. Working during Pregnancy for Prerna was a joke. Her duties were picking files, decorating SR beds, getting electricians!

So, folks, I hope you all get what I am trying to say. Having simple dreams is not a crime but stereotyping raising a family only as a MIDDLE CLASS dream is just so mehhhh.

On a side note: I just woke up to an image of a tribal girl sitting in a makeshift hut amidst rain and studying to become a staff nurse. That’s some imagery I would like to hold on to.

Prerna and her LOL worthy joke of a Businesswoman is hardly any INSPIRATION!!

Originally posted by: UmIbrahim

It’s a very much valid and okay dream to have. Being a home maker (it’s high time we ditched the word housewife), is no easy feat. It’s a whole package of roles rolled into one person and it deserves respect. My mother was one and she is in large part responsible for what I am today.

Woman empowerment does not mean portraying one kind of woman - the one who takes over the working world. It’s about the struggles of balancing that all women have (working woman or home maker) and ultimately it’s about choice - the woman’s choice.

Thanks for saying this loud. I always have special kind of respect to our great great grandmothers who have struggled a lot either by being a homemaker along with bringing up 6-12 kids with none of the latest machines to ease their jobs to my own mother, who along with being a homemaker managed her teacher job too. I with all the privileges I had compared to them can't even manage half of the things they used to do. So, being a homemaker is not something to be looked down on.

Originally posted by: _charu_

Hhmm Means..anurag can do his "thing" whatever the reason is to come to the washroom, while pre is cleaning up?🐷reason.."middle class girls" care more for their respect. Its more of an instinctive action .

I said it in sercastic 😆

Why are we even differentiating working woman n home maker? Working woman also home maker. Infact she does double role which is even tougher. I don't believe in woman empowerment but I believe in feminism. It's a attitude we carry. Carry life with self respect without hurting others. Not to allow any one to take you granted.

This show FL lacks self respect. Every one takes her granted. I never thought ekta will show her FL like this.

Originally posted by: surbhi1995

Sry but I beg to differ here.This is the thinking of Ekta's show and not real life.Not all middle class people have small dream and not all high class people enjoy daru and party.infact middle class people r more ambitious in real life than rich people.Rich people love their health and time and not indulge in daru and party.

I believe in individuality not class.

im not saying middle class woman dont ambitious or to party .i mean tosay its middle class attitude not faimly

i saying sociaty think pati bacvja & ghar is middle class attitude

daru party & ambition is high class attitude (middleclass woman bhi aa sakti hai isme)

hope u understand what i m trying to say

Originally posted by: Transference

3. Let’s talk about financial independence. Irrespective of gender, yes, both man and woman should be equal participants in care giving. Roles they can decided, unpaid care giver or provider. It’s a GREAT balance to have. Problem occurs when the PROVIDER option goes missing in people’s lives. Death, divorce, separation etc etc. There could be many reasons. Earning your money always helps in such situations. That’s why my emphasis on personal earnings for everyone. You never know what life gives you. One must have their income at hand. You earn, you work and have that financial independence-Man or Woman doesn’t matter. You become an independent unit who is strong enough to function alone even when no one supports you or anyone is around. That’s important in this world. Again MAN and woman doesn’t matter.

I want to emphasise on this point specifically. No matter what time or age or country, the one who brings food to the family, is the one who has upper hand on all important decision makings. Period. Money is the key player in a system which involves only an individual or a couple, or a family, or a joint family. At the end of the day, who brings money = is considered important in everything.

People can kid themselves saying feminism means having the right to choose whether to become homemaker or earnng member, but that just shows how convoluted this logic is. Men still are today in the upper side of the equilibrium, and no matter how bitter it is, this was never served as a choice to them. They were forced to be the earning members in a family, and that plays a key role in continuing the patriarchy that we have in today's world. No matter how much in some households the homemaker 'woman' seem to be in charge of the things, any major decision gets approved by the primary member of the member, who's 99% of the time, the man. It happens only because the man 'let' her do that. The final approval from all decisions come from the man, once HE says yes go ahead, no one else's approval is needed to be taken. THAT is the dynamic guys.

Smell the coffee and Wake up ladies. Whether to earn or not should not be a question in the first place unless you are going to inherit your parents property (being equal heir). Males refuse to take it as a choice and so should women. No matter how much less it pays, validation from outside world, that someone's willng to pay you for your whichever type of job, matters like HELL in the dynamics of a household. This might sound bitter, but this is fact. Also, the more one goes out in the real world, the more they can understand the subtle or obvious power plays in the world. Kitty parties don't give them any picture of the real world.

Anyways, it's not Prerna's fault that this pathetic dialog came out of her mouth. The writers are pretty dumb.

Originally posted by: moniloveanupre

surbhi my point is

im not saying middle class woman dont ambitious or to party .i mean tosay its middle class attitude not faimly

i saying sociaty think pati bacvja & ghar is middle class attitude

daru party & ambition is high class attitude (middleclass woman bhi aa sakti hai isme)

hope u understand what i m trying to say

I got it.We r thinking same thing but differently

Originally posted by: prerna4rishav

I want to emphasise on this point specifically. No matter what time or age or country, the one who brings food to the family, is the one who has upper hand on all important decision makings. Period. Money is the key player in a system which involves only an individual or a couple, or a family, or a joint family. At the end of the day, who brings money = is considered important in everything.

People can kid themselves saying feminism means having the right to choose whether to become homemaker or earnng member, but that just shows how convoluted this logic is. Men still are today in the upper side of the equilibrium, and no matter how bitter it is, this was never served as a choice to them. They were forced to be the earning members in a family, and that plays a key role in continuing the patriarchy that we have in today's world. No matter how much in some households the homemaker 'woman' seem to be in charge of the things, any major decision gets approved by the primary member of the member, who's 99% of the time, the man. It happens only because the man 'let' her do that. The final approval from all decisions come from the man, once HE says yes go ahead, no one else's approval is needed to be taken. THAT is the dynamic guys.

Smell the coffee and Wake up ladies. Whether to earn or not should not be a question in the first place unless you are going to inherit your parents property (being equal heir). Males refuse to take it as a choice and so should women. No matter how much less it pays, validation from outside world, that someone's willng to pay you for your whichever type of job, matters like HELL in the dynamics of a household. This might sound bitter, but this is fact. Also, the more one goes out in the real world, the more they can understand the subtle or obvious power plays in the world. Kitty parties don't give them any picture of the real world.

Anyways, it's not Prerna's fault that this pathetic dialog came out of her mouth. The writers are pretty dumb.

World is changing. Still long way to go for feminism. I mean equal to men. It's very hard to get that equality in this male dominated world. Professionally or personally men are always treated better. That's why I emphasised on attitude we carry. When we don't respect ourselves world won't respect.

Beleive me, in many society female earnings are not considered. They are still controlled by men. But I am seeing changes in attitude in current generation. I am seeing many girls consider marriage as liability. But I don't want that extreme too. I want woman should carry attitude where family gives equal respect.

Thankfully I am belong to matriarchy society. So, I hv not faced such problem. But I am seeing my friends who earn more than their husband, still have to take permission from husband to spend 5 dollars. This is not fair. She shd b independent. Sharing information is fine but not taking permission. In these cases, being working also does not help. We need to change our attitude and educate men that there shd be some liniancy there. We shd make sure our independancy. Long way to go. Atleast we shd start now.

I want to add one more point. All men are not same. There are men who highly respect their house wives. It's basically couple understanding. But we need to make our boys to understand woman are equal for better society.

Originally posted by: Hari73

World is changing. Still long way to go for feminism. I mean equal to men. It's very hard to get that equality in this male dominated world. Professionally or personally men are always treated better. That's why I emphasised on attitude we carry. When we don't respect ourselves world won't respect.

Beleive me, in many society female earnings are not considered. They are still controlled by men. But I am seeing changes in attitude in current generation. I am seeing many girls consider marriage as liability. But I don't want that extreme too. I want woman should carry attitude where family gives equal respect.

Thankfully I am belong to matriarchy society. So, I hv not faced such problem. But I am seeing my friends who earn more than their husband, still have to take permission from husband to spend 5 dollars. This is not fair. She shd b independent. Sharing information is fine but not taking permission. In these cases, being working also does not help. We need to change our attitude and educate men that there shd be some liniancy there. We shd make sure our independancy. Long way to go. Atleast we shd start now.

I want to add one more point. All men are not same. There are men who highly respect their house wives. It's basically couple understanding. But we need to make our boys to understand woman are equal for better society.

You are right. Women first needs to start respecting themselves in order to demand respect from someone else. That's the primary thing.

I am not saying if woman starts earning, everything is set and equality is achieved. Not at all. This movement is ongoing for last 200 yrs and will keep happening in next 100 yrs as the change is extremely slow but steady. But woman considering earning as an alternate is sadly a step back if you ask me. Honestly, it should be an option for both man and woman. I have few of my friends or cousins who, just because of being males, are so much pressurized to start earning, whereas my female friends/cousins are chilling out because they have set their minds on getting married (which they can easily in 1 or 2 yrs). Pathetic bias. But society is not ready to accept this picture as of now. That's why I believe we have to take the lead and push ourselves to the other side, so that in case a male spouse doesn't want to earn, he can one day choose to do so. So that we dont have to show it through a movie one day (Ki and Ka) that equal opposite can also be a normal.

Today's woke women are scared to marry, because even with all these feminism and fights, during Corona pandemic lockdown, multiple surveys were releases where it showed the reality that how for a working woman, it's double of the duty while wfh, whereas men can just stick to their laptops without worrying about what to cook at lunch or what's happening with the kid. This is an extreme unhealthy imbalance. This gotta change as early as possible, and this is where respect comes into picture. Men need to open their eyes and see how less of a person they are if they cannot see how their wives are over-burdened. If a woman just stands up someday and raises this point, there is a chance tomo the man will understand. But with programmed patriarchy, women themselves start thinking household chores are their job alone. This is the lack of respect they're taught with during upbringing.

Of course not all men are same. In my own household my husband is the primary cook as I mentioned somewhere in some forum. And we divide our chores 50%. But you know what the sad part is - when he shares this info at office (even in North America) he gets so many wows, that he has to point out to them how unfortunate it is that it's still surprising. And as a woman, I get to hear from many not-so-close friends that I deliberately spoil my food (manipulative) so that I dont have to cook. We are a moons distance away from equal rights despite living in a fairly 'want to be feminist' society in NA. 😆

All in all, what I want to say is, don't stay at home guys, go earn or do anything. Step out and make a difference in the world. Help yourself is to help 10+ women around you who can look upto you and get up and do the same.

Originally posted by: prerna4rishav

You are right. Women first needs to start respecting themselves in order to demand respect from someone else. That's the primary thing.

I am not saying if woman starts earning, everything is set and equality is achieved. Not at all. This movement is ongoing for last 200 yrs and will keep happening in next 100 yrs as the change is extremely slow but steady. But woman considering earning as an alternate is sadly a step back if you ask me. Honestly, it should be an option for both man and woman. I have few of my friends or cousins who, just because of being males, are so much pressurized to start earning, whereas my female friends/cousins are chilling out because they have set their minds on getting married (which they can easily in 1 or 2 yrs). Pathetic bias. But society is not ready to accept this picture as of now. That's why I believe we have to take the lead and push ourselves to the other side, so that in case a male spouse doesn't want to earn, he can one day choose to do so. So that we dont have to show it through a movie one day (Ki and Ka) that equal opposite can also be a normal.

Today's woke women are scared to marry, because even with all these feminism and fights, during Corona pandemic lockdown, multiple surveys were releases where it showed the reality that how for a working woman, it's double of the duty while wfh, whereas men can just stick to their laptops without worrying about what to cook at lunch or what's happening with the kid. This is an extreme unhealthy imbalance. This gotta change as early as possible, and this is where respect comes into picture. Men need to open their eyes and see how less of a person they are if they cannot see how their wives are over-burdened. If a woman just stands up someday and raises this point, there is a chance tomo the man will understand. But with programmed patriarchy, women themselves start thinking household chores are their job alone. This is the lack of respect they're taught with during upbringing.

Of course not all men are same. In my own household my husband is the primary cook as I mentioned somewhere in some forum. And we divide our chores 50%. But you know what the sad part is - when he shares this info at office (even in North America) he gets so many wows, that he has to point out to them how unfortunate it is that it's still surprising. And as a woman, I get to hear from many not-so-close friends that I deliberately spoil my food (manipulative) so that I dont have to cook. We are a moons distance away from equal rights despite living in a fairly 'want to be feminist' society in NA. 😆

All in all, what I want to say is, don't stay at home guys, go earn or do anything. Step out and make a difference in the world. Help yourself is to help 10+ women around you who can look upto you and get up and do the same.

Yes, this is exactly I wanted to say. First start changing our attitude with in ourself. Slowly, one day we might achieve feminism.👍🏼