Hey guys, leelaa from the yahoo grps had posted this...thought even u ppl may like it
Apropos KZK's ep. (Wednesday, 30 Nov. 2005)
Prrn, you definitely were a bit right to crib about Bajj dredging
up your past with Anrg. But – if truth be told – only a bit. Yes,
he should NOT have. Ever. At all. There's no two ways about that. But
this revelation of Tansh's paternity does *not* make you & him
level. There is no comparison between your equation with Anrg, &
Bajj's equation with Mdhv. Anrg was your love & your lover,
never merely your bedmate, never the person you never looked at other
than platonically but who took advantage of you in your moment of
incognizance. Mdhv was never Bajj's love or his lover, merely his
bedmate by virtue of his not being in his senses to show her the
door. Even now, do you truly believe you have cause to fear Bajj'll
leave you for Mdhv? You *know* you are the only love of his life.
He has always known he was your second love, not your lesser choice,
but your later choice. And his constant insecurity about Anrg is no
less than Anrg's was about Bajj. Both men, when you loved them,
have known that you loved them. And yet neither Bajj nor Anrg have
ever been self-assured enough of their own worthiness in relation to
you to be assured, despite any indications to the contrary, that you
would never turn to the other man if you found herself in
circumstances conducive to it. And neither man has ever trusted you
with any of his secrets unless he has no option but to do so.
Bajj had cause to bring up your past with Anrg, because – let's be
honest – you've never set it aside. You are overwhelmingly pro
Sampad's relationship with Anrg. But do any of us have any doubts
that if Anrg thought you were back to loving him, he wouldn't make
extremely very speedy tracks to your side? Any of us? You certainly
aren't ignorant of it. God help us if you ever think Sampad has
usurped your primary place in Anrg's heart. Bajj's & Anrg's
<> hearts are your personal property. They may solace themselves with
others when you are with their rivals & you will permit this & even
encourage it, but their love for you must keep them in constant
thrall to you.
Now, let's consider the past in its relation to your words and the
inaccuracy in them.
Firstly, Bajj did *not* do any dredging during your past two decades
together. But Anrg wasn't around to provoke any dredging. So that's
not worth much. But even after Anrg came back. Problems *started*
when you decided to trade information & make plans with Anrg in the
quest for the son you fervently proclaimed to be your husband's
legitimate son & didn't bother to keep your husband informed about
developments regarding *his* son.
And besides, you *really* like to rub things into people's wounds,
admit it. You're never just content to let things be. You have to
pitch a full-fledged marching-band, drums et al. For nearly thirteen
years, you kept informing Bajj how much you loved Anrg. Alright,
during the last nine years of that time, you *said* Anrg no longer
mattered to you, but you weren't convincing enough to con the
metaphorical village idiot. Which – despite his quite idiotic
handling of the Mdhv-Tansh mess – Bajj is definitely not. Also
during those nine years, you proclaimed yourself Vshkh, Tshr &
Kk's mother, but hated it when Bajj didn't publicly introduce you
as a 'family-friend'. You never wanted him to introduce you as his
children's mother & his 'ex-wife', because that would spoil your
nostalgic mourning for Anrg. But the moment you were betrothed to
him, point about-turn. When he, during his post-night-with-Mdhv
campaign to reunite you & Anrg, deliberately introduced you to
guests not as his fiance but as a family-friend, what a ruckus you
created. Not that he didn't introduce you as his fiance, but that he
<> introduced you as a 'family-friend'. How could he?! You were the
mother of his children, *your* children. And 'family-friend' is
someone who visits infrequently. You had lived a decade as part of
his family. How could he?!!!
As for you & Anrg, you kept rubbing your love for Anrg into
Bajj's face, knowing full well that it hurt him. Now you have a
problem with the fact that you did a good enough job that even now
when Bajj does believe you love only him & not Anrg, he still
stings with the fear that your love for him was a mirage & your
residual feelings for Anrg will turn out to be 'true love' once
again.
Third and most crucial point {– though I have grave doubts you'll
ever know since (i) Bajj isn't yet willing to cross the male rubicon
and say he was taken advantage of by a woman whose amorous intent he
was wholly ignorant of until she found him drunk out of his senses
and seduced him in that circumstance, and (ii) Anrg, like you right
now, found out Bajj spent a night with Mdhv and automatically
assumed Mdhv's bullshit about having established a relationship of
mutual desire was the truth since obviously (NOT!) if two people had
an amorous encounter, the man must have initiated it. By the way,
Mdhv's little gem about having established with Bajj "the
relationship that should exist only between husband and wife"... the
world must be having a lot of very loony marriages if the husband
generally wakes up beside his wife and is shocked on seeing who the
woman is that is in bed with him.}-
Even if Bajj had had a cognizantly sought one-night stand, it still
wouldn't make him quits with you. Why? Well, let's keep it short &
straight. He never – in his senses, of his own volition, and on his
own initiative – wanted Mdhv in his bed. You were never not in your
senses when you took Anrg into yours. Bajj's manly pride means he
<> doesn't want to go into the details of his Mdhv-nighter, and if he
told you he'd had sex with Mdhv and didn't clarify, you'd be
thinking... well, exactly what you're thinking now. There is no
comparison, Prrn dearest. But... it took months of melodrama as the
vindictive 'wronged' wife for KSBKBT's Tls to realize Mandr had
played her for a sucker to estrange her from Mhr. Now admittedly,
Mdhv seems to have left the obsessive homicidal urges well behind
her in the past two decades, but for Bajj to be blamed for sleeping
with a woman he never wanted is... insane. Mdhv is a better human
being than Mandr, you – dear Prrn – have never had the malicious
vindictiveness of Tls, & Bajj has never had the turn-the-other-
cheek quality of Mhr. But – like Mhr – he does worship his wife,
bitter verbal duels notwithstanding. And – like Mhr – he's wallowed
for over two decades in his 'guilt' at having been 'unfaithful' to
the woman he loves. Wonder what would have happened if Mhr and
Bajj had actually been cognizant willing participants in their
individual instances of 'infidelity. Would they have convinced
themselves they forced the helpless women and took advantage of such
sweet, scrupled ladies? <LOL>
Sweet Prrn, you have the upper hand because your husband – like
Mhr and all the other men in our world where machismo is the one
thing sacred to all religions and all countries, even in matriarchal
societies – would rather have you believe he was unfaithful to you
than have his manly pride lowered in your eyes or anyone else's. At
least for now. So, three cheers for Indian mardng. Bajj has
decided to walk the plank of 'philanderer' so well immortalized by
KSBKBT's Mhr.
leelaa9.
