Dear Dairy,
I have left home…..or should I say I have moved home? I have moved in with Pushkar, my real father. I couldn't stay in that house anymore, I felt so out of place. These people didn't want mom to live with them, why would they want me? After what happened yesterday nobody talked to me and even went to the extent of leaving the room when I entered. Nobody wants to explain the past to me, they all think that in a few days I well forget about the dairy and move on. How can one forget ones own mother? I can't forget, I won't forget. So you see Dairy, Pushkar's house is the only place I can read my moms dairy and learn of my heritage without hesitation. I have to do this, I just have to.
I am going to stop writing now and go help Pushkar with dinner because if I don't, I well cry.
-Prachi
Dear Prachi,
Today is the day I found out that I am pregnant with you and the day I started this dairy. You are probably wondering why start a dairy for you, when I can tell you everything myself, right? I am not going to make it through your birth, the doctors have made it very clear. Abortion is the only option out but this time I don't want to take the easy way out. I have already killed/abort one of my kids and I can't do that with you. I need to give birth to you for Pushkar and Bani's sake. Thought, I am sure they would never believe that, than again if I was in their shoes I wouldn't either.
Opps, I am probably confusing you, right? I well start form the very beginning, from when I was a kid.
I was born and raised in a poor family and I was content with that. Though one day I had hoped to become a rich model, and to take my family out of poverty. The desire to make my dreams come true became stronger the day my mother died and dad became a drunk. I no longer was content with being poor and happy; I began to see all the shortcomings of being poor but happy. The shortcomings being lack of security. Bani Di became the mother figure in my and Rano's life but she never realized I didn't need a mother. Rano was at a age where she still need someone to be her mother, I needed a friend. Someone that could understand me, not someone that treated me like a child. Everything I did seem to get me a scolding form di, whether it was catching butterflies or eating Ice Cream. I never could do the right thing but still I loved di and never blamed her for treating me like a kid and not being able to understand me. Instead, I worked harder on my looks; I exercised daily and eat healthy and worked on achieving my dreams. And soon I blossomed into a beautiful girl with potential to become a great model. All the guys fell at my feet but I didn't care because none of them were in the position of making my dreams come true. But when Bani Di forbid me from becoming a model and asked me to focus on my studies, I felt forced to agree out my love for di. I decided that day if I can't be a model, at least I can marry a rich guy, di can't forbid me form that. I was welling to go to any extent to fulfill my dreams. And the opportunity came immediately after my father died and we had to move in with Mr. Jai Walia in Mumbai….
-Pia
Shiv Shakti
