"Bas Mr.Walia! Aur kuch mat kahiye!" screamed Bani Walia, closing her ears with her hands and reeling backwards.
Jai, wretched with guilt and concern tried to steady her but she pushed him away and ran out of their room. For a long time, her husband just stood expressionlessly staring at the door through which his life had just departed and then crashing to the ground, he buried his head in his hands and sobbed inconsolably.
And that was the end of Jai Walia!
**********
Rano stared at the man whom she had considered as her very breath "Sahil, tum mujhse nafrath karthe ho? Mujhse chutkara chahthe ho? Mujhse? Tum mere peeche aaye the, tumne mujhe pyar ka matlab sikhaya tha aur aaj tum mujhe apne aap se bedaqal karna chahthe ho?"
Sahil shouted through gritted teeth"Galath tha main. Maine socha tha main aisi ladki se shadi kar raha hoon jo mujhe samjhegi, jis tarah maine har waqt har mushkil ghadimain uska saath diya waise hi woh bhi mere saath kabhi nahin chodegi. Lekin tum tho har waqt mujhe neecha dikhaneme lagi ho. Tumhe bada maza aata hai jab log tumhe mujhse behtar kiehthe hain. Bas Rano. Haan haan nafrat hai mujhe tumse. Achcha hota ki main Raashi ko hi apna leta. Meri self-respect ko bachana chahtha hoon. Please mujh par daya karo aur hamesha ke liye meri zindagi se nikal jao!"
Shocked and hurt, Rano fiercely brushed away her tears and said brokenly"Teekh hai Sahil. Main tumhari zindagi se hamesha ke liye jaa rahi hoon. Ya lo maine divorce papers par sign kar di hai! Lekin ek din tumhein apni galthi ka ehsaas hoga aur tab tum mujhe yaad karoge,mere liye tadpoge lekin tab bahut der ho chuki hogi. Sahil, maine hamesha tumhari khushi chahi hai aur chahungi. Main bhagwan se prarthna karthi hoon ki woh tumhain apne aap se bachaaye!
Sahil had turned away and was facing the window. Rano stared at her love's back one last time and with a sigh, she haphazardly stuffed all her things in to her suitcase and walked out of their room and the house which she had considered her own but not before she was treated to Jigyasa's malicious taunts and sarcasm which she completely ignored. Anxious to avoid the other members of her family, she hurried out of the Walia mansion with tears in her eyes when a strange sound assailed her ears. She listened carefully and she realized that somebody was weeping convulsively. Wiping her own tears, she followed the sobs and reached a dark spot under a huge Peepul tree and found a distressed shadow crying its heart out.
Going near it, Rano enquired "Kaun? Kaun ro raha hai?"
The shadow looked up and Rano stepped back in shock"Di? Di aap ye…ye aap itni dukhi kyon hain? Aap ro kyon rahi hain aur aap itni raat gair yahan kya kar rahin hain?"
"RANO!"
Bani Walia threw her hands around her sister and hugging her tightly, cried bitterly and explained between sobs "Rano, Mr.Walia…ke liye hamari shadi…sirf ek samjautha hai…Unhone hamesha sirf Pia se…pyar kiya hai….Pia ke petmain jo..bachcha…bachcha hai…woh Pushkar ka…nahin..MR. WALIA KA HAI!..Rano main marna chahthi hoon…."
Rano recoiled in shock "Kya? Di ye aap kya keh rahi hain? Aapko zarur koi galat fehmi ho gayi hai."
Bani shook her head violently"Mr.Walia ne khudh mujhse kaha hai Rano. Main mar jana chahthi hoon...ab jeene ka koi matlab nahin…"
And even as she was speaking, Bani fell down unconscious
***********
"Congratulations Mrs.Walia. Aap maa banne wali hain!"
The beaming doctor's face changed color as he saw the wave of hatred that passed across Rano's face and wondered at it. Lips tight with anger and eyes flashing, Rano told the doctor "Doctor saab, dyan rahe, ye baat Mr.Walia aur uske gharwalon ko kabhi pata nahin hona chahiye. Samjhe aap?"
The doctor frowned "Lekin Ranoji, ye tho khushi ki khabar hai aur …"
Seeing Rano's face, the doctor agreed to comply with her wishes hastily and assured her complete secrecy in the matter.
One look at her sister, who was staring at the ceiling, her face devoid of her usual cheerfulness and the smile that could bring even the dead to life, an insatiable burning anger made home in Rano's breast and she swore to herself that her sister would suffer no more that the Walias and their selfish sister would no longer be allowed to hurt them again; ever!
With grim determination, she wheeled her completely shattered sister out of the hospital, out of Mumbai, breaking all bonds that they had shared with their distressing past….
***********
Six years later:
"Mr.Walia! Aap dekhna is saal humari New Year party inti shandar hogi ki saal bar log isi party ka charcha karengi! Maine saari taiyariyan kar li hai, invitations bhi bhijwa di hai. Mr.Walia aap sun rahe hain?"
Jai Walia looked stony faced at his estranged wife's sister. To him, Pia would always remain Pia Shukla; his wife's sister and the wife of the man who was like his son. Every time, he looked at his wife's sister, that day flashed before him when his wife had confronted him with that guilty truth that he had been striving to hide from her even as an ant would its ration of sugar from the world. But truth can never be hidden for long. Wrong can never go unpunished. And Jai Walia had been paying for his sins with his life. Six years ago, on that fateful day, his life had abandoned him and yet he was alive. His heart still beat blood still flowed in his veins and he was still alive though he didn't feel anything anymore. He just went on merely existing like a well oiled machine, devoid of any feelings or hope and still living because it never struck him that he could chop off his veins or swallow poison or throw himself off a tall building and relieve himself from the meaningless well of despair called life.
"Bas Mr.Walia! Aur kuch mat kahiye!"
Jai looked at his wife's sister and said tonelessly "Pia, che saal pehle, humne isi din par hamara bachcha khoya tha. Tumhara natural abortion ho gaya tha. Kya tumhain koi afsos nahin? Tum har saal kaise us din ko bhool kar party kar sakthi ho?"
Pia rolled her eyes in exasperation"Mr.Walia! Us hadse ko che saal ho gaye! Aage dekhna seekhiye peeche mudh kar dekhne se insaan ko kuch hasil nahin ho saktha. Accha ab main chalthi hoon. Bohot kaam hai mujhe!"
Jai sighed again.
Life was not fair! It never was…
>>>>>>>>
The day for the party had arrived and Pia was busy with last-minute preparations.
Jai Walia walked tiredly towards the window and looked in front of him with unseeing eyes. The trees laden with luscious fruits, the cheerful weather, the raucous birds…meaningless! Sometimes, the life that had been smothered by the automaton; Jai Walia broke free from its shackles and reared its head causing its owner to remember those blissful days he had spent with his beloved wife. And those sweet memories that were destined to remain memories only penetrated his numbed consciousness like brutal pinpricks that sent him spinning in indocile agony.
But he was such an unfortunate creature and his sin was so great that even the pain and agony that could have reduced his guilt seemed to have abandoned him. Bani Walia had deserted him forever and with her, she had carried away his life, his peace his everything. Life was now like salt less food, waterless sea. It was empty void and meaningless. He turned back from the window and looked around at his room and the bed that he had shared with his wife. Ever since he had with his own hands, strangled her happiness and his in a moment of frustration and weakness, he hadn't even touched the bed. Most of the nights he spent in his study working vigorously with feverish intensity hoping perhaps that overwork would kill him and grant him mukthi. And on those wretched nights when he was forced to keep to his room, he sprawled on the sofa and tortured himself with what could have been. None nothing could take the place of Bani Walia. Even today the owner of Walia mansion and all the things that were inside it and bore her memories were silently waiting for the return of the mistress of the house.
A deep long suffering sigh escaped him as his eyes fell on Massi's photo. He removed the dried garland around her photo and tried not to remember the day he had literally killed her. That gem of a woman who had dedicated herself to his happiness couldn't bear that her Munna had done such a despicable thing and she chose to depart to the heavens than live with the terrible truth so that Jai Walia was left all alone to atone for his sins. "Massi mujhe maaf kar dena please..."he whispered and looked around him again, sighing. In one sweep of the hand, he had destroyed everything. WaliaMansion was now just a rich man's large and imposing abode. The truth about him and Pia had destroyed everything that was dear to Jai Walia. The two women who had loved him unconditionally had deserted him, his best friends Aditya and Tarun no longer wanted to have anything to do with him and Anu had simply disowned him. Nachiket and Ranvir with Raashi, were abroad managing their overseas business. Jigyasa was in Greece with Aditya where he had started his own business. Dadi had brought herself a house at Haridwar and was leading a quiet life with an amicable companion.
Walia mansion was now a ghost house. Its only residents being Jai Walia, Pia and Sahil. In Sahil, Jai saw himself for Sahil too like him, was a rudderless ship, caught in a terrible insatiable self-invited storm. Initially jubilant of a Rano-free life, Sahil had regretted his mistake within a very short time. But there was no use crying over spilt milk, he had realized. Silently, he had accepted the misery that he had richly earned and like his Mamaji, had been willingly burning in the fire of remorse and repentance.
Jai mused that fate is all powerful. One moment he had everything and the next, he had been stripped of his everything and he had been left standing like a bewildered puppy in the midst of heavy traffic.
"Mamaji!"
Roused out of his thoughts, Jai turned back "Haan Saahil? Kuch kaam tha?"
"Mamaji, aaj ki meeting bohot important hai. Australia ki bahut badi industrialists aa rahe hain. Unke saath agar contract ho jaye tho hamare liye bahut faayda hoga. Aap jaldi se office pohonch jaayiyega."
Jai looked at Sahil and said mildly"Sahil, ye tumne apna kya halat bana rakha hai? Na teekh se khatho ho aur na jane kitne dino se tum soye nahin. Apna khyal rakho Sahil."
Sahil Walia smiled ruefully and said"Mamaji ye baat main bhi aapse keh saktha hoon. Lekin aap bhi janthe hain Mamaji koi fayda nahin. Massiji teekh hi kehthi thi, jo insaan ghar ki lakshmi ka ullanghan kartha hai, uski zindagi narak ho jati hai. Mamiji aur Rano ke prathi humse jo anyay hua hai, uska koi praashchith nahin. Unke saath hamari zindagi, jeene ki chahat chali gayi. Mamaji, aaj bhi mujhe us din ka intezar hai ki kab Rano wapas aayegi aur main usse mafi maangke apne paapon ka praashchith karoon. Aap jaldi boardroom aa jayiye mamaji. Main chaltha hoon."
Brushing away his tears, Jai got ready for the all important meeting when his cell rang. It was Pia "Mr.Walia, ek bohot badi problem hai. Aap please apna kaam karke bakery se cake collect karke party aa jayiye please!"
And without even waiting for Jai to accept or decline she put the phone down. Jai Walia glared at his cell but with a resigned sigh he decided to comply with his wife's sister's wishes even if it meant that he would now have to attend the party that he had been steadfastly boycotting for six years.
Maybe this Year's party was wont to change his life.
If only he knew how much!
>>>>>>>>>
Jai looked at his watch. The meeting had taken much longer than he had expected and by the time he could get out of the office, it was well past evening. The party would have started long back. As his driver patiently trickled past the heavy traffic, Jai Walia's patience was running out. He was tired and he hated that he had agreed to collect the cake for his wife's sister. How he wished he could go home take a hot shower and go to bed. If only.
He sighed and getting out of his car, he walked in to the one stop confectioner's shop for the cream of Mumbai society. Seeing him, the owner rushed forward and led him to a plush seat while he hurried inside to attend to his order.
As he idly looked at the assortment of sweetmeats and the thronging crowds, his eyes fell on a sweet toddler who was trying to push past the crowd to get to the front counter. Smiling, he went near her and said"Beta, aap kuch khaaoge?"
The child turned and studied him for a moment and then her face broke in to such a lovely smile that caused that sleeping something to stir inside Jai Walia and impulsively, he scooped the child in to his arms and kissed her cheeks. The child returned his affections. Surprised and pleased, he was about to order a pastry for her when a voice arrested him"MEETU!"
Slowly he turned and his heart stopped beating for a second. His mouth had suddenly gone scorching dry and he felt like he had just died and had been re-born at the same time. He felt like a huge balloon was swelling inside him. He was assailed by a host of conflicting emotions that made him slightly tipsy so he held the child tightly and kept staring at the woman in front of him, who was just two feet away from him.
"BANI! BANI! Bani! His Bani!"
Unable to utter absolutely anything, assailed by surprise, happiness, guilt, pain and every other kind of emotion humanly possible to experience, he stood there drinking in the beauty of the woman he had so longed to see for so many years. The white ascetic white suit she had on, the hassle-free pony, the sophisticated pearls in her ears and neck and the matching sandals, the simple sun glasses which Jai Walia knew must have cost the earth and the serenely expressionless face that seemed to have grown younger with the years, with no hint of alarm or any other emotion- to Jai Walia she looked like a virginal White Lotus, strewn with fresh dew drops- a precious White Lotus meant to be loved cherished and protected. Just looking at his wife again had done the trick. All his sorrow had been shed like one would shed wet clothes. A new hope kindled inside him. His Bani was back! Now everything would go fine. Drunk with excitement he rushed to his wife "Bani! Main…"
"MEETU! Kitni baar kaha hai gairon se baat nahin karthe?"
His joy of a moment ago vanished as Rano wrenched the child from his arms and taking her sister by her arm, led her out of the shop "Chalo Di." The child winked at him.
Before Jai could react, the trio had vanished. He couldn't believe his blasted luck. Why did god have such a perverse sense of humor?
Every time he had thought he had his happiness in his hands but it turned out to be merely a mirage.
>>>>>>>>>
Scowling, Jai had accepted Pia's cake and had reached Hotel Madrid Eve where Pia had organized the party. He silently blessed the dim lighting and the deafening music so he could deliver his parcel to Pia and get out. He politely retuned people's smiles and greetings as he reached Pia who was thoroughly enjoying herself.
"MR WALIA!" Pia screamed in delight "Tho aap aakhir meri party main aa hi gaye! Thanks Mr.Walia! Aayi na, let's dance!"
"Pia!"he said acidly and he pushed her hands from his "Main thak gaya hoon. Aur waise bhi, maine tumse kaha hai ki Bani ke bina har party adhoori hai!"
Pia stood fuming as Jai Walia went towards the bar angrily. He hated his wife's sister. He had lost everything because of her. He had lost his wife again today. He drained his glass bitterly. One moment of weakness One and he had lost everything. He hated himself. How he desperately wished he could turn the hands of the clock and erase that sinful moment from his life forever. Forever!
O Bani! Meri Bani!
Bani Bani..and the child?
Jai Walia frowned as he suddenly recollected Rano snatching the angel from him. Was it..?
"My god!" He thought.
Was it...Rano and Sahil's child?
.
Pia saw Jai Walia drowning himself in sorrow and her face contracted in anger and humiliation.
Bani Bani Bani! Che saal In che saalon main Mr.Walia ne mere or dekha tak nahin. Aaj bhi Bani. Mr.Walia main dekhthi hoon ki aaj aapko mere hone se kaun roktha hai!
"Bani! Aaj Bani tumhain rokegi Pia!"
Pia's eyes widened in terror as she recognized the voice. Turning slowly, her heart pounding like a mill train, she found herself staring in to the smiling face of a handsome slim waisted man, sporting a French beard and stylish rimless glasses and dressed in a well cut pristine white suit "Hello Pia! Pehchana?"
Pia held her breath "PUSHKAR!" she said in spite of herself.
"Haan Pia" agreed the young man with a good natured smile"Wahi Pushkar Shukla jise tumne loser aur under-confident male kaha tha. All thanks to you Pia. Warna aaj main yahan tak nahin pahunch tha. Don't mind lekin aaj main Mr.Jai se bhi dhanwan hoon aur Australia ke bade bade industrialists main merei ginthi hoti hai. It's very flattering Pia ki aapne hamein pehchaan tho liya! Tho aap Mr.Walia ko fires fasaane ki plan soch rahi thi?"
"Pushkar! Is besharam aurat se baat kar ke apna status kyun neeche kar rahe ho?"
Rano Walia, looking striking in a Black Velvet evening gown and diamonds, glared at her sister with maximum hatred and linking her arms with Pushkar's, said in a saccharine sweet voice "Pushkar darling, ye jo aurat ke naam par dhabbha hai, kya usse mujhe introduce nahin karaaoge?"
As Pia Shukla stood speechless with the thunderbolt from the blue, Pushkar squeezed Rano's hands and said" Mrs.Pia….Kya kahoon main? Shukla? Ya Walia? Ya aur kuch?"
Rano threw back her head and laughed unkindly"Pushkar, aise auraten ke saath koi bhi naam jud lo. Koi farek nahin padtha. Ye aise besharam aurat hai ki apni pati ka bachcha iske liye bhoj hai lekin apni hi sagi behen jisne is par apna sab kuch nyochawar kiya, usi ke pati ke bachche ki maa ban ne main ise koi sankoch nahin koi sharm nahin. Lekin ab sab kuch khatham ho gaya hai Pia. Bani didi wapas aa chuki hain! Tumhara khel khatham ho chukka!"
Pia started. What?
"Rehne do Rano my love!" drawled Pushkar "Jaane do. Mere liye ise maaf kar do. Aakhir legally aaj bhi ye meri patni hai!"
Pia was taken aback for more than one reason "My love?"
Had Pushkar really called Rano that?
Seeing her expression, an amused Pushkar drew Rano closer to him and said"Mrs Pia Shukla ya Walia ya what ever you fancy, may I present to you MY WIFE: Mrs.Rano Shukla!"
An audible horrified gasp escaped the woman who legally was still his wife "Kya? Tu….ttumne Rano se..Tum…donon.."
Rano's eyes filled with a strange light and she said with a malicious perverted smile"Pia is din ka mujhe kabse intezar tha ki kab main tumhain yun bebas lachar aur apne aap ko kosthi huyi dekhoon. Dekhona, aaj tumhare paas kuch nahin. Na Pushkar na Mr.Walia jinki tum kabhi na ho paayi na bachche na apna parivar apna kehne wala koi nahin tum bilkul akeli ho gayi ho Pia tum kisi ki na ho paayi. Na achche sachche insaanon ki aadar kar paayi na sachche pyar ko samajh paayi. Tum jaise selfish aurat ko isse bhi baththar saza milni chahiye lekin yehi kaafi hai. Ek din tum apne aap se nazar nahin mila paaogi. Tumne jo Bani di ke saath kiya, Pushkar ke saath kiya, hum sab ke saath kiya..Pia....Jo doosre ke khushiyon ujaadkar un par apna aashiyana banane ki koshish kartha hai, uski zindagi ek shraap hoti hai…."
Rano could not go on any longer. Pushkar pacified his wife and without even looking at Pia who was reeling with the suddenness of so many shocks together, he led his wife to where Mr.Walia and Sahil were trying to drown their sorrow.
"Mr.Walia" said Rano sharply.
Sahil and Jai Walia turned back. Sahil dropped his glass and stared at Rano wondering if it were only a dream. Jai's face broke in to a smile and in his drunkenness, he embraced Pushkar and patted Rano's head"I missed you Pushkar! Kya tum mujhe maaf kar paaoge? Rano, Bani kahaan hai? Aur woh bachchi?"
Rano Shukla glared at Jai Walia with hatred. As she perceived Sahil looking at her hopefully, her eyes softened for a minute before they filled up with rightful contempt and indignation. There was no point thinking about the past, she thought trying to calm herself. And Sahil…was definitely past!
Just thinking about Jai Walia was enough to set Rano's blood boiling in fury. She had sworn that she would never have anything to do with any of the Walias ever again. But…she had come here only as her sister's messenger. She was not allowed to follow her heart. It needed great self-control to keep herself from telling the pride of the Walias what she thought of him. Taking quick breaths, she smothered her anger that could burn up the entire Walia clan and looked at Pushkar. He understood and as a dazed Pia joined them, he introduced his wife to the two men.
Sahil Walia staggered and stared at Rano, unable to believe what he had just heard.
Pia bit her lip still unable to digest the Fact!
Why why did this news hurt so much? Had Di also experienced so much…pain? Will she have to live with this pain for the rest of her life?
Rano looked at the sorry figure before her and said softly"Sahil, ye mat samajhna ki Pushkar se meri shaadi tumse badla lene ke liye tha. Hamein jaise hi ehsaas hua ki humari pehli shadiyan ek galthi thi aur hum ek doosre ke liye hi bane hain, humne shadi kar li. Main bhagwan se prarthna karthi hoon ki tumhain bhi bahut jal khushiyan naseeb ho."
A crushed Sahil simply stared wonderstruck at the woman who he had thought was his wife. The whole thing was unbelievable. He would wake up and find that it was only a nightmare….
Rano and Pushkar? Impossible…..His sin was not so great that he deserved such a horrid punishment…No no it was only a nightmare...was it not?
Turning her attention back to Jai Walia she blurted out"Mr.Jai Walia, Aapne meri Di ke saath jo kiya uske liye main aapko kabhi maaf nahin kar sakthi. Mere bas main hota tho main abhi apni haathon se aapka gala ghot doon! Lekin Bani Di mahaan hai. Bhagwan hai. Aaj bhi aap hi se pyar karthi hai. Aapse milna chahthi hai. Mr.Walia. Neeche gaadi aapka intezar kar rahi hai. Jayiye, Di ko zyada intezar mat karvaayiye!"
Jai Walia heard nothing else. He saw nothing else. Brimming with newfound hope, he literally ran out and got in to the car, a boyish smile warming his handsome face. He drummed his fingers on his knees impatiently throughout the drive and after what seemed an eternity, the driver opened the door of the car and announced"Mr.Walia, Madam first floor par aapka intezar kar rahin hain.."
Jai Walia pushed open the door and heart pounding he rushed in to the house and took the stairs three at a time. What greeted him were an unsettling darkness and an eerie silence.
"BANI? Bani?"
Finding no sign of anybody Jai placed his hands on the walls and groped for the switch. A click behind him and the room was suddenly lit with bright light. He turned around slowly and…he saw her.
A stately looking virginal Lotus!
Jai Walia held his breath as Bani Walia dressed in a white flowing garb and her hair a beautiful silken wavy affair caressing her shoulders, floated towards him.
As she neared him, a slant bluish light clothed her in its beam imparting an ethereal glow about her. Her face devoid of make-up, a classy rimless eyeglass over her eyes, a baby pink dupatta draped around her head, tiny pearls in her ears, her face a picture of calm and peace ;she looked like the holy Ganges had taken a human form and had come down in the form of this angel, to wash away his sins! Beautiful! A warm honeyed glow stole through him; his eyes shed tears for all the hurt all the pain he had cursed her with. Hands shaking, he sought to touch her face and wash away his sins and make up for the hell he had put her through but….Jai Walia took a step backward as he realized with a shock that things had changed.
The woman in front of him was not His Bani!
He couldn't touch her…she no longer made him feel the way she usually did…something had changed….somehow…she was too good too pure for him…almost like a goddess…
Jai Walia suddenly felt very dirty and sinful. His sin seemed to be magnified several folds as a beatific smile lifted up the corners of Bani Walia's rosy lips "Mr.Walia!" she pronounced.
Jai just stood there as it felt like his tongue had got stuck to the roof of his mouth.
"Mr.Walia" she said again softly, unaware of the storm she was unleashing in her husband's breast.
Or maybe she understood his state of mind for she remained silent until Jai Walia managed to find his tongue again" Bani….main tumse.."
"Mr.Walia said Bani Walia "Mere paas waqt kam hai. Kal main yahan se ja rahi hoon. Hamesha ke liye!"
Jai Walia panicked on hearing her words and he went a few steps forward but his wife put a hand forward and said calmly"Mr.Walia. Mere paas waqt kam hai. Mujhe bolne dijiye. Main kal yahaan se JA RAHI HOON hamesha ke liye!"
"Bani please tum….dekho main jantha hoon main tumhara gunegaar hoon lekin…kya tum mujhe aur ek mauka nahin de sakthi? Kya tum dekh nahin sakthi ki main tumhare bina adoora hoon? Kya tum dekh nahin sakthi ki main tumse kitna pyar kartha hoon?"
Silence!
What was she thinking? What was she feeling?
How he wished he could tear her eye glasses off for he knew that those eyes would never betray him "Bani!"
And slowly a smile crossed her face and something else that her husband had never seen before and hence couldn't understand. Frowning, he wondered what was that something going on that he didn't understand "Bani?"
A slow sigh escaped the woman and she whispered "Mr.Walia, mere paas waqt kam hai. ...Mujhe kehne dijiye. Mr.Walia us raat mere apnon ne mujhe maar dala. Main zinda laash banke reh gayi thi. Agar Pushkar aur Rano ne mujhe nahin sambhala hota tho shayad aaj main zinda nahin hoti. Us din ke bare main soch thi hoon tho aaj bhi kaamp uth thi hoon. Zindagi mere liye shraap ban gaya thi. Itna ki ek din main ek unchi building se khud padi…"
Jai Walia shuddered but didn't interrupt his wife and she went on"Main bach gayi lekin…Mr.Walia …jeene ki kadi khatham ho chuki thi. Main itni depressed thi ki Pushkar aur Rano ne decide kiya ki I need a change of scene. Dono ko Australia main job mil gaya aur hum wahin chale gaye. Wahan jake zindagi ne phirse dastak di Mr.Walia. Wahan jake mujhe ehsaas hua ki aap mere taqdeer main likhe hue hain. Main na chahker bhi aapse judi hui hoon…aapko hamesha ke liye bhoolna chahthi thi phir bhi ek din bhi nahin guzra jab aap mere man main nahin the…Mr.Walia…meri zindagi aapse shuru hoti hai aur aap par khatam hoti hai…sach kahoon tho main aapse alag huyi hi nahin…maine aapko ek pal ke liye bhi miss nahin kiya kyonki…kyonki….aap mere saamne the mere paas the…hamaari…beti ki roop main…hamari Krishna ki roop main…Mr.Walia woh bachchi jisse aap aaj mile the…woh hamari beti hai!
Jai's eyes welled up with slow tears. He remembered the feeling when he had taken the child in his arms. His child! Their Krishna! With outstretched hands, he progressed towards his wife but she stopped him "Rukiye Mr.Walia….waqt kam hai…Mr.Walia mujhe kuch aur bhi kehna hai ki Krishna ke wajah se main aaj tak zinda rahi. Woh bilkul aap par gayi hai. Shuru main mujhe ye soch ke sukoon miltha tha ki Krishna ko aapse door karke maine aapko saza di hai kyonki main jaanthi thi ki Krishna aapki zindagi main kya maayna rakthi hai. Lekin…"
She sighed and smiling ruefully"Mr.Walia Krishna ne mujhe apni zindagi ki sabse badi sachchayi se waakif karaya ki jab insaan niswarth pyar karne ki galthi kartha hai tho uske dilmain nafrat ke liye koi jagah nahin hai. Maine phir se zindagi ko apnaya dil main ek hi maksad tha ki ek din main Pia aur aapko saza doongi. Aapke dwara mujhe di gayi har ghaav har dard ka hesaab lungi. Lekin…pyar ne meri andar ki zeher ko kat dala…Mr.Walia aaj main badla jaise bhaavnaon se upar hoon. Aaj mere dil main aapke liye Pia ke liye kuch bhi nahin. nafrat bhi nahin. Main yahan wapas aayi aapko aapki amanat lautaane…
"Mr.Walia Krishna is yours."
Jai Walia was totally at a loss. He didn't know what to say how to react. Should he cry? Should he laugh? Should he kick himself? Should he fall on his knees and beg the woman to forgive him? He looked at the pure woman in front of her. It was obvious there was more to come he wondered if he had the strength to hear it all. He got up abruptly "Bani main aur kuch nahin sun na chahtha. Please tum meri baat suno."
For the first time Bani Walia showed some signs of feelings as her hands slightly shook and her lips quivered as if what she was about to rveal was not easy and was taking all her strength to bring it to light'Mr.Walia, sunna tho aapko padega. Main…main...main Krishna ko aapke havale karke….vapas jaa rahi hoon hamesha ke liye. Koi mujhe nahin rok saktha. Aap bhi nahin. Nahin Mr Walia. Main aapse pyar nahin karthi. Aap mujhe pyar ka vastha deke nahin rok sakthe. Aur Krishna ki baat tho chediye hi mat. Woh aapka khoon hain, aapka hissa hai. Woh aapki amanat hai jise main paal rahi thi. Main janthi hoon aap ek bohat ache pita saavith honge. Rano aur Pushkar aisa nahin sochthe. Woh Krishna ko adopt karna chahthe the. Lekin woh galat hota. Main apni bachi ko uske pita se alag nahin kar sakthi thi."
"Bani fir Krishna ko apne maa ke pyar se vanchith karna bhi kahaan ki reet hai? Kaisi maa ho tum?"
"Mr Walia main maa hoon. Isiliye dil par pathar rakhke use apne se alag kar rahi hoon. Ab main uske layak nahin. Bohot sochne ke baad hi main is nateeje par aayi hoon Mr Walia. Main janthi hoon main sahi hoon."
She said nothing. Jai couldn't hold out any longer "Jo faisla ek parivar ko alag karde woh sahi nahin ho saktha Bani. Bani look at me dammit! Remove your glasses for heaven's sake. Tumhare aankhen kabhi jhoot nahin keh sakthi. Look at me Bani."
Again that quick enigmatic smile interlaced with something Jai Walia didn't understand flashed across her face.
But Jai was supremely confident that those eyes would never betray him. They would understand. They would forgive him. They would.
He waited.
Slowly she removed her eye glasses and Jai Walia felt like his soul had been sucked out of him. He stared at his wife's beautiful eyes. Her brown beautiful eyes, glassy and empty! Large beautiful eyes but completely useless.
Bani was blind.
Those eyes had betrayed him after all.
Frantically he waved his hands in front of her face, in front of her eyes. He clapped his hands. He snapped his fingers. He waved his hands in front of her eyes again and agin.
The large beautiful brown eyes remained empty, blank, void.
Those eyes had indeed betrayed him.
The wind had been knocked out of him. The earth had been snatched from under him. Cruel fate had played her move, dealt him her cruelest blow. Check and mate!
The pain and the shock hit him in the region between his brows. It couldn't be described. It was just pain; stark and pure. Was it possible to experience so much pain and yet go on living? Was it possible to go so cold and yet the blood inside him would go on flowing, warm and live? Was it possible…how? How could a person go on living when the candle of his life had been snuffed long back? How, when all his life blood had been sucked till not even a drop was left? And why? So he could watch how he had destroyed the one woman he had loved beyond anything, had loved with all his soul and heart? To prove what? That this life is meaningless and void. That happiness and bliss, a mirage a sham. That love means hurting and getting hurt. Life means a bed of throns only. No roses. What ever roses, they were only momentary. A bait to go on living and get pricked by the thorns. Pain and pain and only pain…
Where did he get the strength to go on enduring one blow after another? Why did he still live?
"Mr Walia..." she said"Us raat ko maine kuch aur bhi khoya tha…mare aankhon ki roshni bhi…Pehle tho jaise ki zindagi tham gayi. Fir ehsaas hua ki taqdeer ne mujh par ek aakhri ehsaan kiya hai. I was spared from seeing the betrayal, the despair, the ugliness…
She sighed deeply and for a moment those lifeless eyes lit up with the suffering, with the agony and pain. Then they were lifeless again"Mr Walia main apni bachchi ko andhere ke sevai aur kuch nahin de sakthi. My sorrow, the darkness the blight is infectious. My child deserves better. She deserves your care, your love…Krishna aapki hai Mr.Walia. Aur please mujhe rokne ki koshish mat kijiye. Koi bhi, kuch bhi mujhe mere faisla badalne par majboor nahin kar saktha. Krishna aapki hai. Rano aur Pushkar kal aapko aapki amanat sonp denge."
Closing his eyes Jai Walia mentally whipped himself and begged God to burn him slowly painfully. One mistake one moment of weakness…
"Mujhe airport jana hai. Der ho rahi hai. Aap mere saath challenge na? Mujhe…see off karne?"
His eyelids fluttered open. He just couldn't let her go. Grabbing her hands he pleaded with her "Bani tum mujhe chodke nahin ja sakthi. Please mujhe maaf kar do. Bloody hell I don't even recall why it happened. Was it weakness? Was I led in to it? Did I want to punish you through an affair with your own sister? I don't remember. I only remember how wretched how terrible I felt later. You cannot punish me for something I cannot even remember! I love you. This life is meaningless without you. Can you not forgive me? At least for our child's sake? I'll make it all up to you. I will become your eyes. Bani, you love me too…"
She wagged a finger at him "Anything but that Mr Walia. I am done with that. And I am nobody to forgive you. Things happen in this life seemingly for no reason. But everything happens according to the agenda of the maker and there is a reason behind everything, the reason may not always become known to us. Somethings happened to us, for good or for bad. Both of has have made many wrong decisions. Especially me. I thought I was doing the best for you. Maine ye sochke galthi ki Mr Walia ki kyonki main aapse beinteha pyar karthi hoon, bina kisi umeed ke, aapka zindagi ke har faisla mujhe lene ka haq hai. I drove you in to Pia's arms…I am the one who ought to apologise…
"Bani…"
"Mr Walia, ek aurat sab kuch baant sakthi hai. Sab kuch sevai apni pati ke. Aapki bewafaayi ki kya wajah hi main nahin jaanthi. Mujhe aapke pyar par shaq nahin but all the same since there is no logic in such things, I could not accept you as everytime I saw you or thought about you, I could only remember your night with Pia. I cannot go on like this.Mine life is a half life. I don't want to bequeath a half life to our daughter. Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe I am making a wrong decision yet again but at least this time, I am not keeping you in the dark. Call me a coward Mr Walia but I cannot go on. I am resigning from life!"
A white light from somewhere cast a shadow on her face, concealing half of it. A gasconading wind displaced her Dupatta and several strands of hair blew on her face, concealing her one eye.
She stood, half of her in darkness, half of her in eerie moonlight.
She looked like a ghost.
Unreal and unreachable, unreadable a mystery an enigma…an enigmatic undecipherable smile on her face, her eyes dark and mysterious…
An unearthly air sent a chill down his spine.
"Der ho rahi hai Mr Walia…"
>>>>>>>>>
The airport was a sea of faces and a confusion of noises. Dazed, shocked, stunned and tired, Jai sat on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, watching the sand slip through his hands.
A calm husky voice spoke in his ears "Mr Walia, we all have to pay for our sins, in this very life. You with your mistakes and I, with myself! I don't worry for Krishna because she has you and Rano and Pushkar. I don't worry for you either because Krishna will take care of you. Come Mr Walia. It is time for me to go."
Jai got up slowly and expressionlessly. He had asked her nothing. He hadn't tried to persuade her to change her mind either. He wouldn't. He only extended his hand. She grasped it in soft firm hands and shook it warmly "Thank you Mr Walia. Goodbye."
"I hate goodbyes."
She tried to mimic his tonelessness but a great heaviness pilfered in to her heart so she could only manage a watery smile.
"It is time."
"Yes" he agreed.
"May I touch you Mr Walia?"
"Yes."
She placed her damp palms on his hot cheeks. Her eyes staring at a point behind him, her hands followed each other, roved all over his face, over every memorized line, over the familiar eyes, over the intimate lips, his nose…
Her lips trembled and with a soft cry she threw her arms around his neck "Kiss me Mr Walia…one last time…"
And he kissed her.
"It is time madam."
Slowly he released her. She stood with her face upturned, eyes closed, as if willing herself to harden, to forget the kiss…him…"
The eyes opened. And Jai saw Bani's large expressive brown eyes once more, for a fleeting second. He knew that in that one moment he could get back his Bani. He would ask her to come back with him and she would. But he wouldn't. He wouldn't break her again. He wouldn't allow her to fall weak. He wouldn't fall weak.He would release her.
"Go" he whispered hoarsely.
"Goodbye Mr Walia."
"Goodbye Bani."
"This way Ma'am".
Jai Walia stood looking as the attendant whisked away the angelic woman with the beautiful large brown eyes. But the eyes were useless. She was totally blind.
"I hate goodbyes."
FINITO
😉
Hello angels!
This story was meant for the New Year/Christmas ff competition but urgent personal commitments made sure I never got to complete it. It was conceived when I was mad at KS, at my Munna at everything and the Rip siggy still graced my signature box. I wanted to punish them all, including myself. I call it poetic justice. But the anger and the disgust passed or so I thought. I managed to find the 19th June video Link at last. I made the mistake of watching it. I went mad again and I couldn't rest until I completed this story.I am sorry if you don't agree with the treatment and the end. I don't myself. But I had to get all this out of my system. Call it catharsis. I am back to being normal and crazy, once again!
-Raaga
😛
