Chapter 18
Fire and Ice – Robert Frost
SOME say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
"A dead heat?" Nerves stretched so tautly, she thought that they would explode. The heat was intense even though the sun was almost going down, the horses were sweating profusely; the washy (The horse sweat) was dripping down the bellies of both the horses.
"We don't know yet, I would say at least a photo finish" Roberto's smile belied the inner tension he felt.
A photo finish is when a horse is declared a winner by looking at the pictures of the horses at the finishing line because the race is too close and the winner can not be picked by the naked eye, a dead heat is when even the camera can't identify the winner. It occurs rarely but happens. The most famous one occurred at the Breeder's cup race in 2003 (between High Chapparral and Johar)
Some one had asked me if there were any Indian female jockeys and the answer is yes, there are some, here is a link attesting to the facts.
Also a good writer always tells reveals in the bibliography the research and the sources she has cited from, for the most part I did that, but occasionally I missed telling about the source. I drew heavily from wikipedia.org on Horseracing and Archery.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4694422 http://cbs.sportsline.com/horseracing/glossary The wait was incredibly long and each minute moved painstakingly slow. The hair-raising, spine-tingling, rip-roaring, eye-popping excitement from the fans spread like wildfire. The Cheers, rahs weighed equally with jeers, boos and catcalls.
Gamblers come from all wakes of life, some are rich and some are poor, but everyone comes with hopes and aspirations to win. The winnings are the only thing that are remembered, the losses were swept under the carpet and portrayed as near wins.
Jai was sitting close to the winner's circle, his stakes were all on Bani and they were not all monetary bets. In business he hedged his bets, weighing the pros and cons of each business plan and always having an exit strategy, a plan-B. These stakes were higher than the financial risks he ever took. The knowledge that he believed in this girl so utterly surprised him. The unendurable wait was making his stomach muscles cramp-up in protest.
The two riders were still waiting at the finish line looking at the tote board waiting for it to turn from 'photo-finish' to something else. Finally when the numbers whirred the silence was deafening in the stands. There were two numbers on the tote board in the place of winner. It was a dead heat. Both 3 and 9 won the race.
The applause started slow and hesitant picking up speed as the fans stood up and gave a standing ovation to the winners.
Jai's hand went to his mouth; he leaned forward over the fence and was violently sick. The retching stopped a couple of minutes later as he steadied himself. Finally he looked up to see Bani and Roberto finishing the winning lap and reaching the winner's circle. He was glad that most of his relatives did not witness his moment of weakness. For being an alpha male all his life, the weakness was not something he appreciated. He reached for the water bottle and wiped his brow and cleaned himself. He slowly went down the stairs to stand in the winner's circle.
As the trophy was presented to the battle-scarred veteran and the strong-willed amateur, tears fell from the sun bronzed leathery cheeks of the old man the same way as the tears fell from the firm, golden freckled cheeks of the young girl. They willingly went into each other's arms and cried unashamedly as the entire stadium went berserk with thundering applause.
Things after the race were a blur, all she remembered was the warmth of a large hand wrapping hers and warming her ice cold fingers and letting them go only after they seeped an incredible warmth into hers.
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He stared at the sleeping figure on the bed. She looked so small and so feminine, her incredibly long lashes playing shadows on her smooth cheeks. Her lips resembled the rose petals covered with fresh dew from his mother's garden. Her upturned nose was slightly imperfect but gave character to her face.
The protectiveness he felt for her wrenched at his gut, he bent down on his knee and smoothed her brow that was knotted in a frown. Rano had warned him that the race took a lot from her Di and what she needed was rest.
There was a small gathering at the house later that evening to celebrate his engagement and the win. He had invited Karan, the boys from the Westside stud farm, Roberto, his family, Sunny and George along with his close friends and family.
He had enlisted help from his friend's wife to buy a sari and matching jewelry for Bani for the party and asked Maasi to get the Kangans that belonged to his mother from the bank. The colors he picked for the sari were orange and green. They reminded of him of his favorite tree in the garden, the flaming gul mohar with its orange blooms and green foliage. He placed the shopping bag next to her bed on the night-stand and turned to stare at her again.
The urge to kiss her soft lips was overwhelming but he squashed it with all his might and sighed softly. He covered her with a warm blanket and walked out. He didn't really want to leave to Scotland tomorrow, but he postponed his journey already and couldn't keep his business associates waiting anymore.
He felt like a heel but he didn't want her to race anymore. He promised himself that he would go and visit her at the stables and convince her to stop racing and instead help him with the stud farm and may be a riding school.
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Bani woke up shivering uncontrollably; the warmth of the blanket was not enough. The unfamiliarity of the room startled her before she realized where she was. She didn't remember sleeping in this room, she wondered how she got there. She vaguely remembered sitting in the car with Jai holding her hands, her cheek lying on his chest, his hand stroking her shoulder until she fell asleep. She blushed as she remembered him pulling her close to him and hugging her tightly in the back seat of the car, ignoring the impropriety of the act in front of his aunt and Adi who were sitting in the front.
She looked around the room, it was a medium sized room, furnished minimally, the colors were beige, with dark mahogany armoires and night-stands. There was a large dresser with an oval mirror in the same color. There was a portrait of a woman in black and white; the black frame was simple and the picture was enclosed in a matted beige opening. She had kind eyes and a smile that was as enigmatic as Monalisa's smile.
Was it his mother's room she was sleeping in? Why didn't she sleep in the master bedroom with his father? Bani knew about his father's relationship with Bernali and wondered if that was the reason why Jai's mother moved out of their marital bed.
She spotted a note on the bedside table with the same bold scrawl she saw before when she received her cell phone.
"Can you please wear it for me, it would really make me feel happy" – JW
She peeked inside to find the sari and the jewelry. The exquisite taste of the gifts made her wonder who picked them for her. She draped it over her shoulder and went to stand in front of the dresser. She looked different to her own eyes.
Pia and Rano came bounding into the room, when they saw their Di up and about they both ran to give her a hug.
"Di, Congratulations, you are the first woman to win the Indian derby!"
"Thank you Pia, I never expected to win, I just wanted to race with Roberto, he told me to do my best and not be intimidated by his stature, he is a very sweet man" Bani was grateful for the old man's advice.
"Di, aap bhi na, you remind me of those Hollywood movie actors who say it was an honor to be nominated for Oscar's even if they didn't win the actual award, it's all about winning!" Pia added cynically.
"Aw, shut up, Pia, for you everything is about winning or losing" Rano piped in with her usual aggression.
"Well, at least I am not a hypocrite" Pia flung angrily at Rano, but soon got distracted when she saw the Sari draped on Bani's shoulder.
"Di, wow, it's so beautiful, did Mr. Walia give that to you? I love those colors on you. It looks so expensive, I am sure it must be one of the designer saris the old witch was talking about" Pia referred to Jigyasa.
"Pia, please don't talk about your elders like that, you don't have to be rude even if they are" Bani reprimanded Pia.
"Di, aap mujhe kabhi bhi daant the hai, I don't think I did anything wrong!" Pia sulked.
Bani looked at her affectionately and changed the subject, "What are you guys going to wear tonight?"
"Di, I designed and made couple of dresses, I kept it a secret from you, I think they look really good" Pia gushed and ran into the walk-in closet to get her bag.
Bani and Rano admired her talents at fashion designing, Bani looked thoughtful, she wondered if Pia should go to a fashion institute to take some designing course. It cost money, but it was worth it to send her to school to hone her skills. For once, Bani felt happy that she won the derby, may be some of the prize money can be better utilized for the fees.
Then it stuck her that she didn't get anything for Jai for the engagement, her face fell in disappointment. The only thing she had was the red cap she used to wear, that was given to her by an American tourist when she was eight years old, her prized possession. It had 'Winner' embroidered in the front.
It was almost like Rano knew what she was thinking about, she tapped Bani's shoulder making her come out from her reverie, "Di, I have something for you." She looked solemn as she opened her fist. Inside lay a masculine gold ring that had a large emerald in the middle.
It belonged to Mr. Singhania – her maternal grandfather who never acknowledged them until the day he died. He had told the three girls that he was sorry about not being there for them and had given them each small tokens that belonged to him and his wife. He begged them for forgiveness and had given each of them a small envelop that contained a check with a trust fund that they would receive at the age of twenty-five. She didn't feel like taking the gifts from him, but didn't want to hurt the old man who was dying.
She came to know why she was always treated with respect and given the best horses to ride at the Cottonwood stables. Her eyes burned with tears at the memories of the old man standing silently watching her practice. She wished he had said something to her all that time, a simple gesture of patting her on her back, a rumpling of her hair, a smile of encouragement. But he punished his daughter, his grand daughters and himself, for reasons that were completely uncomprehending to her. Her mother's death and soon after Mr. Singhania's death coupled with her dad's drove them out of Mt. Abu. She heard later from George that Cottonwoods was sold to someone, and an incredible pain touched her heart at the thought of her maternal home in some one else's hands.
She took the ring from Rano's hand, she wasn't sure that the ring from an embittered man was appropriate for Jai, but she didn't have a choice, she needed a ring for the engagement, it was the best she could do right now.
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Jai stared at the exquisite vision floating down the stairs, accompanied by two equally beautiful young girls. He only had eyes for her. She looked lovelier than the gul mohar in it's summer bloom. The straight, dark glorious hair fell around her shoulders like a silk curtain, her face had the radiance that almost blinded him. Her clear almond shaped eyes were like pools of brilliance in her oval face. The only thing that touched her lips was a luscious gloss of pink. He wanted to taste her mouth so badly, he almost stumbled when he took a step toward her.
"Jai, Sambhal ke chal na, you don't want yourself on crutches before you leave to Scotland, do you?" Adi joked.
Jai blushed hard and his heavy lids veiled the expression of sheer lust in his eyes.
Bani stared at him as he stood at the bottom of the stairs, in his black Versace suit, Botticelli handmade leather shoes from Italy, the shirt was a classic tailor made Italian silk shirt in mid-night blue. A masculine Rado watch adorned his wrist. He didn't bother with a tie and the sun-bronzed skin at the base of his neck was visible from the shirt that was unbuttoned at the top. She felt a constriction in her throat as their eyes held, the awareness of each other strong and powerful.
He reached for her hand and bent to kiss the delicate fingers one at a time, eliciting laughter from the crowded room. She tried to extricate her hand from his hold as if she was scalded. He chuckled but kept her hand in his hold as he led her to the middle of the room.
Everyone wanted to congratulate Bani and Roberto and he lost her in the festivities as the Jassi and Karan dragged her and started dancing with her in the middle of her room. She felt his eyes on her as he stood at the bar and nursed a drink, he tried to pay attention to what Tarun, Pushkar and Mohan were saying to him but failed to do so. Pia came to Pushkar asking him to dance with her and Jai looked annoyed at her forwardness.
Pia dragged Pushkar into the middle of the victory dance and started dancing with him, while Karan looked at her in surprise. For the first time, he noticed how beautiful she looked in a white short salwar suit, her eyes sparkling with excitement, her hair gleaming with copper tints and her voluptuous body moving rhythmically to the music.
Maasi announced the engagement finally and speeches were duly made his best friends. Tarun, Mohan and Adi teased a bashful Jai about the most eligible bachelor of Mumbai getting hooked, reined in by a chit of a girl from a small town. After the toasts, the rings were exchanged. Jai looked a little taken aback as she slipped the emerald ring on to his finger. The ring had 'J' written on the inside of the ring. He had seen it before, he tried to remember where, but failed to do so. Jai kept her close to his side through out the night, barely moving away. When they danced, the intoxicating and erotic scent of champak mingled with Jasmine caught his nostrils and he kept her close to him to shield the reactions of his body from everyone.
"Bani, would you be scared to come outside with me?" he abruptly stopped in the middle of dancing and looked at her.
"Should I be?" she bit the inside of her lip until she tasted the salty blood.
"Probably, but I just want to be alone with you, I will understand if you don't want to…" he hesitated briefly. He felt like an utter clod for making her feel guilty. He changed his mind quickly, "Look, forget I asked, let's just stay here! I don't know what came over me" he looked defeated.
"Mr. Walia, you promised to show me the rest of your mother's garden" Bani knew she was daring, but she too wanted to be with him desperately.
He looked into her face, a smile transforming his masculine, craggy features and gentling them.
"You know what you are asking for right?"
"A lesson in landscaping?" she teased him back.
"I am sure I can manage that, as long as I am allowed to digress once in a while to teach you my favorite subject" He held her hand and led her out in to the warm sultry night.
The garden was in full bloom; purple jacarandas, the pink and yellow Plumerias, the red oleanders, the flaming orange gul mohars were illuminated in the soft garden lights. There wasn't one tree that was not the flowering kind. The west side was planted deliberately with large flowering trees that gave shade but still gave color to the garden.
"See that tree?" He pointed to the Gul Mohar. "That's my favorite, I picked those colors for your sari" They walked to the tree and sat on the wrought iron bench.
Bani was touched that he took time to pick the sari in his favorite colors.
"I don't have anything for you, except for this" She brought out the cap she was clutching all along and gave it to him shyly.
"This is from Mt. Abu, I saw you wearing it when you were BD" Jai was stirred by her generosity, he never saw her without the cap in practices.
"This is your favorite cap, besides this is your good luck charm, I can't take it" Jai insisted she take it back.
"Please, Mr. Walia – this is the only thing I treasure the most, besides my sisters. I want you to have it – if you take it, I will know that you are keeping some thing of mine safely." Bani's voice was firm, she omitted telling him that her heart is with him and he should also treasure it and keep it safe.
He hugged her tightly, "Thank you, I would like to have it with me always"
Her body thrummed with the nervous trepidation that only came out in his presence. In the night shadows, his face looked harsh and austere. Her feminine allure enchanted him and the river of lust flowing through his veins was back with a vengeance. Their breathing stalled and restarted with short gasps. His hands came up to frame her face, imprisoning to bestow a kiss. He bent his head and succumbed to the longing he felt all evening. The honey he drew from the delicate petals of her lips seeped inexorably into his blood making him feel giddy. The sweet kisses they exchanged were not enough anymore, they both wanted to touch each other desperately.
He let her go abruptly and walked back, leaving a confused and quivering Bani under the Gul Mohar tree, staring after his retreating figure. He stopped a few yards away and turned back, an agony twisting at his heart, an apology evident in his face. He opened his arms to invite her back into them, wrapping his arms around her as she came running to him.
"Would you mind if I excused myself for a little while. I need to pack for tomorrow." His voice was terse as he tried hard to control his emotions.
"How long will you be gone?" She clutched at his hand, not wanting to let him go.
"Friday" the muscle in his cheek throbbed with the effort of his restraint.
"That long?" the forlorn expression in her face forced him to smile.
"It's only six days!"
"I don't want you to go!" he knew what it took for her to say this. He bent his head and gave her a hard fleeting kiss.
He held his hand out for her and his eyes landed on the ring he wore on his finger.
"Listen, I have to ask you something. I saw this ring before, did it belong to Mr. Singhania from Cottonwood stables?"
His question surprised her, "Yes, He is my grandfather, my mother's father" she stated with hesitation. The admission was forced out of her.
"You are Kiran Singhania's daughter?" his brows knotted in a frown.
"I am Kiran Dixit's daughter, she married my father, even if my grandfather refused to acknowledge it" The fire in her eyes blazed fiercely.
"Kiran Singhania from Mt. Abu who died in the accident ten years ago?" He continued as if he didn't hear what she said.
"Yes, she was my mother, she threw herself in front of a passing car because she couldn't bring herself to live a life with her young daughters and her loving husband" her voice was bitter.
He tightened his hold on her upper arms, almost bruising her.
"You know that's not true! She was hurting and the physical pain was unendurable, she loved you and your father. Her last words were that she loved you but couldn't see you suffering because of her."
"How do you know all this?" She didn't understand how he knew so much about her mother.
He hesitated briefly, "She threw herself in front of my car!" his voice was tortured.
"You killed my mother?" The choice of the verbiage sounded wrong even to her ears.
His silence spoke volumes; he remained motionless for an eternity before turning to go. Without looking at her, he said quietly.
"Bani, I tried to stop the car, but it was raining heavily and she launched herself in front of the car before I could do anything. There wasn't one single day I thought about her jumping in front of the car and dying in front of me, your father was with her when she confessed about her intentional death but he chose to curse me anyway. I didn't know that she was your mother, I swear, if I had known I would have told you! Please believe me." He tried to appear dignified but knew that he was begging her pathetically for forgiveness.
She couldn't see him through the tears that spurted out, she lifted her sari and ran inside, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.
He stood alone and afraid for the first time in his life after his mother died.
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Hi folks, I know that this is probably a little predictable story, but I can assure you this is not the twist in the story...
I guess, I lost a lot of readers in between with my last chapter, I don't know what I did wrong, would you please let me know if I missed something or you didn't like the way the story is going? Just leave a comment - fan fictions are hard to write, because they are on existing characters and story lines, and although lot of people encouraged this story line, I know this is far from the real KS, forgive me for letting my fantasy take your favorite characters on a horseback ride.
Please leave your comments...Thanks!
Edited by Sheena_Row - 18 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
