FF: Flowers of Despair Last part 13-pg17 - Page 7

dhani,

Part-6

"Come bani sit…" Lolita called her as bani made her way into the dining area hiding behind the bent frame of shakuntala, hardly anybody pried over her existence as the ladies were busy discussing about the impending marriage and the preparations to be done, a fairly middle-aged lady was telling the assembled group of who would be the in charge of what tasks to be done…

"Lolita's mother…" thakuma had informed her while finding sitting on the chair, due to her arthritic knees, her legs didn't allow her to sit down as everybody else was seated…encouraged by thakuma and the invitation from Lolita bani gently walked towards Lolita and sat beside her…

So far she had come to know about the marriage and that Lolita was the bride, and also that jai and Lolita were childhood friends, bani glanced at Lolita who was tearing the puri, dipping it in the curry, she was pretty, very pretty, the prettiest girl she had ever seen, she was perfect like a sculptured statue…

"So bani…what do you do…" Lolita questioned…

"I used to to study but now I have to think…" bani said staring the voluptuous amount of delicacies placed before her, her hands shook to even touch them, such royalty, even her father's house didn't boast of having such a meal.

"Why??? What happened???"

"My grandfather expired…" bani said with a tinge of sadness…Lolita pressed her hand over hers…

"I am sorry…"

"It's okay…" bani looked at her perfect face, somewhere as a girl she felt envious of her unblemished beauty, milky white complexion, doe-shaped eyes, sharp features, the only thing she could even stand to compete against her was the long hair, she took pride in the fact that her hair was longer than hers which ended in incomplete, half curls…
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Jai stood leaning over the railing; his past clawing its way again…he realized that he had immersed himself in a sweet illusion all this while, deceiving himself into thinking that a toy made of a coconut leave could somehow close the chasm between him and Lolita…a part of him felt extremely angry over himself that he was still clinging onto a hope of getting Lolita…it was unreasonable and stupid…

His eyes feel on two silhouettes standing at the far end of the deck…he focused his eyes, it was Lolita…and the other was a man, must be Girish…he could imagine Lolita standing with her head bent low, twisting the end of her sari, her toes fighting with each other to contain her nervousness…a pang of jealously consumed him, she had never talked to him in such a shy and demure way…

"I was searching for you…" jai heard a voice reaching his ears; disturbing him…he scuffed around to note bani standing at a distance, her limbs tended to wave like branches in the night sea wind…behind her the colors of the dusk had long faded away, the darkness of the night assuming a form…

"Why??" jai asked rather curtly…bani's thin frame sagged, disappointed at his aloofness…

"I wanted to thank you…I know it is a very small word to say for what all you have done for me…but still…" bani smiled at him lightly…but he turned his back, to fix his sight into the unclear landscape…

"It's okay…" jai brushed it off…

"Umm…jai…" she called out…

"Jaidev…call me Jaidev…it's my actual name…"

A wave of melancholy swept across her face by his cold behavior; certainly he didn't know how to talk to a lady…bani quietly left not wanting to be snubbed like that any further… …
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"Shall I massage your legs…" bani said as she saw shakuntala holding her legs not able to sleep…

"No child, it's okay…" shakuntala whimpered in pain…

"Your legs are aching thakuma…here let me put some oil, it will help…" bani took hold of the ayurvedic oil, taking a small amount she started massaging thakuma's legs, pressing lightly…

"I don't know where I have misplaced my medicine…" shakuntala grumbled feeling relief…

"Is it fine now…?"

"Hmm…"

"Thakuma…" jai's voice boomed as he strode inside holding a glass bottle…

"Your medicine, I knew you would had forgotten it so I brought it with myself…" jai stood still in his tracks as he saw bani massaging shakuntala's legs…concerned he rushed to her side…

"What happened…?"

"Nothing, I misplaced my medicine…"

Jai shook his head bringing a glass of water he gave her the medicine…

"Take care…"

"Hmm…you go and sleep… and moreover this sweet little girl is here…" shakuntala smiled at bani…jai gazed at bani for a brief second before leaving the two alone…
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Bani adjusted the blanket on the floor…she got up and checked shakuntala who was fast asleep due to the drugging effect of the medicine…she pulled the covers over her properly…her eyes fell on the mirror hung to one of the walls…she slowly walked towards it…standing before it straight…she made a stoic face…

"Jaidev…call me Jaidev…" she mimicked jai's tone…

"Boka…(stupid)…" giggling to herself…she went to sleep, as she lay down on the floor she could feel the waters unsteady movement, the ship was travelling in full force…she closed her eyes… …
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Jai lay on his back, watching the lights as it ripped across the polished wood of the ceiling: the blinds on the window flattered the moon's reflection in such a way that he could almost imagine himself to be under the rivers surface, he wondered how would it be to have Lolita by his side. When he turned to look to his side, his illusion seemed to be real, her body bathed in a glow that swirled and shimmered exactly like flowing water. Suddenly bani's flashed in front of him…unsettling his nerves…Bani…he whispered to himself… …
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hey dhani

Part-7

Like an animal returning to its natural element, the ship seemed to grow ever more exuberant as it went lashing along on the open sea.

Bani came out of the room, trying to settle her wet hair she looked up to notice that the sky above was a luminous, radiant blue, its color deepened by flecks of cloud that mirrored the crests on the water below. The wind was blowing strong and hard, which smelled of salt and the waves and clouds seemed to be racing each other across a single, vast firmament…

Jodi tor dak shune keu na ashe tbe kla chlo re,
kla chlo, kla chlo, kla chlo, kla chlo re…

She hear a rumbling deep voice coming from a distance, she walked closer in the direction of the sound to find jai singing completely out of tune in a coarse voice… but the feel with which he sang touched a chord inside her…

Feeling the slap of fresh air over his face, jai continued singing oblivious to his surroundings when a soft giggle disrupted his concentration… …he turned around to see bani standing at a distance, pure and fresh as the water of the Ganges suppressing her laughter…a minute later he also joined her, laughing at how bad his singing capabilities were…

"Stop laughing, if you have guts then sing it properly…" jai said…

"Mee…" bani squealed

"You don't want me to sing again do you…?"

"No…" bani shook her head…

"Then you have to sing…"

"Okay…" bani cleared her throat…

The marvelous swoon-like caress of her voice softly stroked something inside him and he felt himself melting in the flame of her soulful sound... …he didn't even realize when the song ended…it was still echoing in his ears…

"My grandfather taught me…" bani said wistfully…

"The words are so true…" jai looked into the horizon…

"Hmmm…in the journey of life you have to walk alone…isn't it Jaidev…?"

Jai stared at her for a second before speaking up…

"You can call me jai… …"

"Yesterday you only asked me to call you Jaidev…" bani said averting her gaze from him, jai felt guilty thinking of yesterday night when he was upset and was rude with bani…

"I…I am sorry for yesterday…I was upset about something…you can call me jai…"

"Are you sure, then again you will tell me, call me Jaidev…" bani mimed his tone, jai chuckled…

"No, please call me jai…I like it that way…"

Jai looked into bani's sparkling eyes…mesmerized…the pupil of his eyes were as dark as her hair except that they were flecked with sparks of hazel… …

"You look good when you smile…" bani said in a hushed voice…

Their short eye-lock was interrupted by Lolita who came barging in, holding onto jai's arms…

"Jai…come…I have to tell you so much…about Girish…come…" Lolita dragged jai away…jai's face blanched, the smile vanished…

"I am sorry bani…we will meet later…" Lolita said as they left…

"It's okay…" bani mumbled…watching jai's pale face… …
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Jai's ears burnt as Lolita kept on blabbering about Girish and how nice he was, sharing with him what all they talked yesterday night…jai gulped down…

"Lolita…I…" jai began to speak when he felt Lolita's hand retreat from his…he looked at her face; her eyes were strained to a distance…Girish was standing…

Jai got up tumbling over the ropes, he abruptly left…Lolita sighed, giving a shy smile in Girish's direction…
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Bani inhaled the fresh smell of the palak pokoras…

"Umm…I love them…" shakuntala picked up one as the server kept it along with the afternoon tea…

"Jai's favorite, where is he…" thakuma looked around…

"I will give it to him thakuma…" bani said as she took another plate, piling it with some pakoras…

"Give it to him; if they become cold the taste will be gone…"

Bani hurried out…thinking where to find him…
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There he was, sitting with his legs dangling through the opening of the railing, with a grim face…

"Here…thakuma said these are you favorite…" bani extended the plate…he didn't reply…

"She has sent it for you specially, even I didn't eat…" bani said…she didn't mind his protracted silence as he took one piece and nibbled it…seconds plodded by, each separated from the next by an eternity. Air grew heavy, damp, almost solid…

"Thanks…" came his faint reply…

"You love her don't you…" bani said facing him, trying to search an answer… taking a moment, jai composed himself… …

"I don't know…" came his honest reply…

"You don't know…but…" bani was surprised…

"I don't know, seriously, we have grown up together, I have always liked her, whether she is happy, sad, angry, or quarreling with me, I simply like her, I always wanted to marry her, I have never seen anybody else other than her…" jai bowed his head… as if his confession was something he didn't appreciate, it was his weakness… …

"Don't you feel sad to see her getting married to someone else…?"

"It is but what to do…life is not everything we want…" jai shrugged his shoulders…

"She doesn't like my principles, my honesty; she feels that I can't give her a comfortable life that's why she is marrying that Girish…"

"But isn't love more precious…?"

"Her priorities are different…I don't blame her…"

"Then do what she wants…simple…"

"Bani…if I go on changing as she pleases, then I will lose my own identity, I want her to accept me as I am, not as somebody she wants me to be…"

"No wonder she finds you complicated…"

"What do you mean…?"

"You are a difficult person jai…simple yet very complicated…" bani smiled…

"Maybe…but I don't want to change for anybody…" jai said firmly…silence followed…as they sat noiselessly hearing the crashing sounds of the waves and feeling the dwindling movement of the ship… …
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God bless
Dhani

great part- jai confiding in bani!