"unki-siddat se" his with devotion
chapter 4
Would the transformation sway samars thoughts on her? Would he accept her or reject her? All was dependent on the coming day and as shivangi slept silently on the bedded floor her position gave her a clear view of samars portrait in the darkness of the night. Glancing at it worrying the with thought of what was to happen at samars return anxiety played in her mind, tomorrow seemed not far away and with the worry of what tomorrow would bring shivangi lay in darkness with the certain hope that things would turn out in her favour. The family's efforts, dadaji words wouldn't go to waste and samar seeing that certain change in her would accept her and tha for shivangi was her only longing. dreading to think what would happen at her husband's denial of their relationship the soft feeling of tears came to shivangis eyes as she contemplated over the past few days.
…...............
As the morning took shine and with it the significance of the day shivangi spent her time in silent worry, carrying out all her usual tasks yet making certain mistakes..making tea yet forgetting the sugar, blanking out on certain moments throughout the day and this everyone had made note of and knew it was all due to samars return. Having reassured shivangi time and time again her worry had failed to ease and as the family took the kapoor house lounge each and every one of them were seated in wait of samar. Light feeling of smiles that were happy at the thought of samar returning home yet the atmosphere gave of a sense of anxiety. Dadaji glancing at his wrist watch time and time again and prateek In thought yet taking a few momentarily glancing at shivangi to make her feel better and smile but that was not so. Shivangi took stance somewhat behind the rest of the family. Standing in that certain corner she felt the overflow of nerves and worry. Fidgeting silently with her hand shivangis expression flailed to rise from the floor which conveyed her immense fear. Samar was to walk in any moment and as soon as he laid eyes on her she knew his decision would be made. With the worry of things not going there way the family sat in a certain neutral atmosphere of strained hope until there wait was broken and samar took his presence into the house. With the break of the worried silence the room broke into a mixture of laugher, smiles and hugs as everyone greeted samar. With the exchange of greetings and the odd blessing here and there shivangi watched from a distance as shanti ran into her dads arms and both ohms surrounded him with the hope of some attention. the view was adorable from where she was watching yet the reality that she wasn't a part of it did play in her mind. Somewhat hidden away at the back shivangi kept passively silent watching the rest of the family. As shanti had taken to her fathers arms samar seemed as over the moon as his daughter. A soft smile played on both of there expressions, samar relaxed yet giving of the same persona of authority as ever being with his children gave him a second light which shivangi had never seen. The perfect farther figure...
"aap jante hai papa...is bar mien exam first ayi", waving her report card in samars face the delight on shantis face was indescribable and the response samar had to was equally amusing. Hearing his daughters comment samars face lights up.. "meine is baar mama ke saath apna homework kiya is leighyey. Looking instantly In question samars expression changes at the mention of shantis reference to her 'mama'. Looking in the direction to which shanti was proudly pointing in samar sight froze on shivangis expression. The fact that shanti had already referred to her as mama was one thing but noticing the drastic change of appearance in shivangi was even more striking and the feeling with samar took a turn yet being samar kapoor he had perfected the art of covering up his expression yet this time certain traits still showed the an element of surprise. Glancing yet overlooking the whole matter samar had finished the surprise element with a more serious approach. Putting shanti down from his hands he planned on making his way out of the room but dadaji interrupted just in time stopping samar In his thoughts of leaving.
Dadaji : "Arre shivangi beta waha kyun kadi ho..samar se nahin milogi." the words had a purpose and that was clear to all yet samar didnt seem to have much of a reaction to the comment he simply stopped in his steps attention drawn towards dadaji yet shivangi was the one who felt the heat of the situation. Standing at her distance she took a worried glance towards dadaji, an worried expression that pleaded dadaji to save her from the situation yet dadaji simply smiled at shivangi with reassurance. Without lifting her shivangi made her advance a little closer to samar all the while the traits of a nervousness playing on her face. Stopping at a little distance shivangis posture was somewhat insecure and breaking her s silence and heading for what seemed to be samars blessings was stopped by a silent disapproval from samar. Overlooking shivangi and the moment in general samar seemed to look past shivangis presence and spoke to to what looked like shivangi yet his words were directed to rammu kaka who was standing at some distance behind shivangi.
Samar: "mere kamre mein ek chai behjwao" having said nothing more samar made his way out of the room yet on the way happen to bump into dadi who had something to say and sensing so samar paused again in her presence.
Dadi: "samar tum jo bhi faisla lo who soch ke lena" as always samar having listened to dadis words had no response, he simply made acknowledgement and took leave. Leaving the family in a familiar situation one where it was decision time. Very silently with no input from anybody else samar always made his decisions In this way..his one decisions would finalise what was to happen and asking for tea in such a way dadi new he was indirectly asking for shivangi to be sent into his room so he could made his decision heard. As the rest of the family sit in wait of shivangi in hope shivangi make her way to samars bedroom. Knocking on the door lightly whilst maintain the balance to not spill any of the tea as well a steadying the nerves within shivangi took a few steps into the room yet waiting near the threshold she took a glance into the room to see that samar was seated in a change of shirt. A more homely shade of blue yet what was more noticeable was the photo framed picture he seemed to be looking at deeply and if shivangi was right in predicting the picture was of gauri and that was confirmed when samar put the photograph down the table to his side and taking a look across to her invited her into the room. "andar aajao." saying so samar watched shivangi walk in silently and put down on the table next to him his cup of tea. With a sense of netural silence samar made note of shivangis tentative approach ..lowered expression and sensed a sort of fear yet It did not stop him from being himself. As shivangi took a few steps back she waited for samars to speak and thats just what he did. "meine tume yaha bulaya hai yey kehne ke leighyey ke.." as samar spoke shivangi thoughts and feeling froze somewhat. Hoping for the best she felt scared. "meine abhi tak hamare riste ke baare mein koi failsa nahi leya hai." hearing so shivangi took an instant glance up from the floor yet finding that she couldn't meet with samars eyes dropped them back. A certain relief within she listened on to samar who picking up his cup of tea continued. Taking a look at shivangi samars mannerism seemed somewhat devoted to his words. "kya tum isbare mein kuch kehna chahti ho.?" shivangi nodding a no was lost for words maybe this was the right time to tell samar how much for a simple girl like herself her married relationship meant the world yet she lacked courage and drowned the moment in silence on her behalf. There was noting more to be said or done on the matter and as shivangi waited for her instruction "tum ab jaa sakti ho." samar watching shivangi leave from the room silently stopped her with his words partway prompting her to turn back around in that passive posture she had bought with her. " mein appna faisla bhot jaldi longa aur who mein mere ya mere parivar ki baar ki bare mein soch kar nahin loonga..woh faisla tumari atchayee ke leighyey hoga" listening to samars words and feeling for it to be a queue to leave shivangi leaves the room quietly and walking out into the lounge is acquainted by prateek and the rest of the family who seem to shot up at her entry...
kya hua shivangi, samar ne kya kaha, with all eyes on her in addition to recovering from her interaction with samar shivangi feels a little emptiness with like what had happened was good yet not in a complete sense. "woh unone kaha ke...abhi tak koi faisla nahin leighyay." with a sigh of releade ife all around shivangi had nothing more to say but prateek seemed overly happy to which a made question. "Prateek aap itna kush..maana ke aachee baat hai magar aap samar bhaiya ko jaante hai naa
is leighyey toe kush hoon. Samar tabhi itna sochta hai jab wohh jab who apna nazariya badalne ki soch raha ho." With that comment from prateek everyone is somewhat over the moon but shivangi was the only one who had witnessed that tone in samars voice. Meanwhile as samar picks up gauris photograph for the second time the look on his face melts. "mein jaanta hoon ke tum kya kehti. Ke I'm being to harsh...ek atchee maa hona satus ya education se nahin banta magar pyar se banta hai janta hoon magar kya karoo hamare batcho ka papa jo hoon.
…...............later on in the day as shivangi sits in the emptiness of the bedroom..seated on the bed she looks at a conventional school book style note pad with confusion, similar to a school child who gets stuck on a maths equation shivangi looks at the paper in front of her with confusion. Putting pen to paper she struggles but as samar steps into the room from looks to be his day at work shivangi reacts instantly getting up from her seat she drops her book and samar walks in following his routine he makes nothing of shivangis presence and as per usual looses his look taking off his blazer he sees shivangi waiting at a distance with a certain hand gesture to t his blazer and samar to lets her do just that. As shivangi silently takes it silently towards the cupboard and hangs it up in its place samar watches thinking upon the detail to which the family must have trained shivangi to yet being samar kapoor he is not to loose himself in something he considers insignificant and instead as per routine takes a seat on the bed loosening his tie, throwing it to one side his eyes fall a notebook style book and curious to it he picks it up all the while shivangi not noticing she concentrates on all the little things dadi had mentioned mentioned like the fact that samar required a glass of water when returning from work and doing just that shivangi moved very silently across the room to the drawer beneath gauri garlanded photograph that held a jug of water and a glass. Filling it up she failed to notice samar or more specifically tried to avoid and satiation she kept silent but samar having opened the note book looked at it with a little question. On very conventional blue lines of the note book the words:
"Sheevngi samar kapoor"
Were written, very much like a child first learing to write their name the words were listened down the page of the book but samar noticing the errors in spelling made touch of his shirt pocket and pulling out a pen corrected the mistake. Putting a line through the last written attempt samar corrected it re-writing the name underneath he illuminated the mistakes whilst shivangi realised so and stopping with glass of water tried to explain. "woh ..prakeek bhai saab ne muje padne ke leighyey.." shivangi had begun her explanation and struggled yet samar though nothing of it, very silently putting his pen back into his shirt pocket he closed the book and handing it to shivangi prompted to exchange the book for the glass of water and thats just what took place. During this ceetain interaction samar kept quite yet noticed a sort of worry on shivangi expression. Not showing anything on his own expression samar simply made note of shivangis behaviour a took a drink from his glass of water whilst shivangi found it near enough impossible to meet with his expression. "agar English ki baat ho toe ohm se poochna behtar hoga..shanti ki English kamsor hai." Saying so samars expression seemed to let of no sense of feeling just a very warm neutral look. Shivang having witnessed samars words in her passive posture was surprised, surprised that her husband had bothered to comment on something so minor and also the fact that this small gesture bought a smile to her face. Thinking over the sharpness of samars character and how he had predicted to correctly that shanti had helped her surprised shivangi further. Standing there with a sense of joy within this was her very first success as she thought of it but as for situation samar had nothing more to say or nothing of relevance for her and getting up from his seat he took up his place in his armchair in front of gauris portrait and that was the cue for her to leave.
.................. Later in the evening and as shivangi walks into kapoor house after her daily nightly tution classes surprisingly she finds samar present in the lounge. Reading what seemed to be a newspaper a sort of tired look played on his and noticing and thinking on his lonely presence in the house shivangi walks in silently and as samar realises gets up from his seat and if shivangi was right it was the look of relieve on his face.rubbing his forehead a little the look of tiredness played clearly on his face. "woh mein tumara intasar kar raha tha." Shivangi surprised by samars comment lifts her gaze..he was waiting for her? "woh shanti so nahin rahee hai..tumare leighyey pooch rahin thi." Replying with a nod shivangi made acknowledgement of what samar was asking of her and took her leave towards shanties bedroom and as samar watch his thoughts also trailed off towards his room.
11.30 pm and and shivangi enters samars room quietly seeing that samar seems to be working at his desk in front of his laptop she keeps quite walking into the room she takes to the restroom all the while samar taking note of all the movement carries on with his own task. As shivangi takes a change of clothes and coming out of the restroom takes a secretive glance towards samar yet he is still working and not to disurbe him she takes her bedding and laying on the floor quietly thinks of sleeping yet doesn't with presence of lighting in the room sleeping would be near enough impossible for her instead taking her notebook opens it up in thought of her early interaction with samar. Looking at her name written in samars handwriting a smiles come to play on her face, something so simple had made her day..running her hands over the paper it seemed a little silly to be so pleased over something so small but in her situation it was the only thing she Had. Taking a few glances at samar they didn't last long as she realised that she was taking view of her husband and if by chance their eyes happen to meet she wouldn't be able to control her reaction. But with a moment samar happen to either hear shivangis longing for some interaction with him or just more coincidence samar noticing that shivangi was not yet sleeping commented. "shanti so gayee? " not looking at shivangi and concentrating on his work samars question was still quite strong to which shivangi answered with a "ji." Not able to sleep nor ignore samars presence shivangi quietly took leave out of the room..... a few hours later and as time passed 1.am, having lost track samar realises looking at the wall clock and closing his laptop takes a turn around in his chair to see shivangi missing. Expecting her to be seeing her absent of her bed he thinks over it for a second, makings nothing much over it he puts it down to just something general like going for a drink of water and himself headed outside for a coffee. Walking out of his room he expected to see shivangi part way but nothing of the sort. Having made his coffee and made his way back shivangi was still nowhere to be seen but as samar walked past the shanties bedroom pausing he noticed from a distance outside the room that shivangi and shanti had fallen asleep along side each with look of such innocence on both of there expressions the sight put a smile on samars face. Walking into the room ever so silently he took steps inside to take a closer look and steadying the mug of coffee in his hands he took a glance over shanti who was slept adorably in shivangis arms. Cherishing the moment like always today samar found that there was no need to approach shanti like always to remove her thumb from her mouth today she had seemed to abandoned that nightly habbit maybe because today shivangi was around. Looking over themboth softness took over samars expression. Yet when he noticed something a little odd the expression on his face changed both shivangi and shanti may have been sleeping yet shivangi had hold of her notebook...samar seeing so found it a little strange as well as amusing it was like looking over two children and not one yet when walking a little closer and softly pulling out from shivangis grip her notebook samar sensed a mother and daughter between shivangi and shanti...she may not have been gauri but she had done just what gauri would do..smiling at the situation and overlooking all his perceptions on shivangi. Samar softly and silently covered both of them with bedding and then leaving the room took one last glance..
..............early next morning and as samar prepares to leave for work he tidy's himself up in front of the mirror, pulling a strand of his tie blue tie he neatens in front of the mirror yet in doing so sees shivangi in its reflection. A Taking a glance into the mirror samar notices a certain hesitancy like always in shivangi but questions her presence. She looked uncomfortable like she was trying to say something. Looking into the mirror samar questioned shivangis presence before turning around to face her. "kuch kaam tha?" there was a slight pause and not lifting her gaze begun feeling samars gaze upon her. Ji woh..aaj prateek bhai sahib muje night school se pick up nahin karsakte toe kya aap...kya aap driver bhej sakte hai. Reply with a nod was somewhat surprised that it was something so minor. As shivangi took her leave silently samar stopped her part way.. "ek minute " not of an interruption from samar shivangi turns around with caution, taking a glance she sees samar walking towards the side table of his desk. Wondering what the matter was shivangi keeps quite. Yey lo, looking up shivangi is faced by samar handing her his notebook. "tum kal raat ko batcho ke Kamre mein so gayee thi toe tumare haath mein yey thi. " shivangi realsing that she had just done so takes her notebook from samar and leaves the room with a thank you..a thank you that came after a little pause which samar could tell was said after a little revision though her mind yet he accepted it and too leaving the room happened to walk out into the corridor of kapoor house to hear that shanti was unwell. With instance taking to shanties room samar comforted his daughter, intrusting all staff to look after shanti and within minutes a doctor was called for. Leaving shanti under aasthas watch. Worried for his daughter samar has no option but to leave for work ...but as he walks out into the lounge he overhears a number of voices. Dadaji...aiyush uncle dadi all calling for gauri. Dadaji walking around in search of his newspaper, mayabua for breakfast at the dining table and aiyush uncle for chai but the thing that caught samars attention was that they all seemed to call for gauri. In firmament at it samar took a pause but when realising that shivangi who was the one who walked into the lounge after the continuous calling samar expression turned to a deep displeasure. Making his voice heard quite strongly samar stopped shivangi who was handing dadaji his newspaper.
"Yaha kya ho raha hai.." Samars words were sounded from a distance stopping everyone part way though there own tasks all seemed to go silent with all eyes on samar who seemed to look deadly serious no one spoke "Tum yaha aao..."
and shivangi realising that it was her he was talking to her looking at samars expression the feeling within took to a very cold chill. Glancing at dadaji with a plea of help shivangi couldn't avoid the situation and silently under samar and the rest of the families watch did as was asked of her. Taking steps towards samar, shivangi moved ever so tentivaly worried judgeting from samars harsh look she stopped at a little distance dropping her gaze she waited yet her expression sowed fear. Looking over shivangi..after a short pause of looking at the rest of the family and then at her samar questioned. "tumara naam kya hai?" samars tone was somewhat demanding of an answer and composed at the same time although his expression showed dissapointnment. Thinking abut what samar had asked her shivangi found it odd yet dared not to think over it too much but as per a natural instinct she happen to question a little.. "ji??" not getting a response from samar and feeling the intensity of her husbands presence shivangi replies ever so sileintly.. "ji..shivangi." samar looks over shivangi and then at the rest of the family..."phirse kaho..? "
shivangi feelings a little uncomfortable and in fear of having upset samar repeats herself whilst the rest of the family and samar watch. " ji?...shivangi.." after a slight pause and stare in the direction of the family and shivangi samar had already made his point yet ..looking over shivangi he expressed his thoughts.
Samar: "mein samaj sakta hoon ke mere parivar ke leighyey tum kuch haad tak gauri ho..magar mere leighyey.." stopping part way samar pauses as if to realise that maybe he was filling to deep into his own emotions.. as to his own part way samar sways s his attention more towards the adults in the room..whom all silent have no words.
Samar: "aap chahe use jo bhi bulayey magar mere saamne nahin.." saying so samars words tend to spread a certain hurtful truth about his relationship with shivangi. A truth which both shivangi and the family feel sad for yet samars thoughts and words on the matter are both stern. As samar makes his move to leave aastha happens to walk in to which samar questions shantis health.
"shanti ab kaisee hai?"
aastha: "who..kafi bemar hai magar doctor ne dayaee di hai."
samar nodding the thought process changes along with it the look on his face. From more of a dominant look to a fatherly expression. , " mein office jaa raha hoon aastha..uska khyal rakhna", aastha agreeing to do just that feels that she had walked into a tense moment yet for the good as her comment seemed to bring out a more approachable farther side to samar that very moment.
With a day running to a close and samar ringing home now and again to check on shanti asstha walks into the kitchen In search of shivangi finding her cooking something or the other aastha walks in quietly noticing a certain sadness on her expression walking just behind her she tries to touch on it. "tum theekh toe ho naa shivangi..." shivangi noticing with a little delay puts a smile on her face but it is still clear that she is thinking about what samar had said sometime back in the day. Trying to put a smile on her face aastha reassures shivangi with a smile of her own. "sab theek ho jayeyga bhabhi...and doubltly so aasthas comment does ease shivangis expression.
Aastha: "Who..mein aapko yey kehne aayi thi ke muje kuch kaam ke leighyey bahar jaana hai kya aap shanti ko kuch der mein unki dayay dengi..woh uske room pein padi hai." still tied up in thoughts shivangi unknowingly agrees and as time passes and shantis illness takes to a stronger level shivangi remembers aasthas words but still lost in depressed thoughts about samars displeasure at her shivangi takes a look at the time ten minutes to 7 and knowing that it was her time to leave for her night class she quickly enters shantis room with that same lost approach heading for the desk drawer without thought she picks up a tablet foiled yet fails to see that there is more than one In the drawer. Diluting the medicine In water she sits by shantis bed as she drinks it meekly but still thinking about her husbands words her thoughts don't play with her. Putting a weak shanti to sleep shivangi leaves for her night class half hearted with her encounter with samar in the morning thinking mstly about that she asks ramu kaka to look after shanti and then leaves...
A few ours later and 8pm In kapoor industries head office. Sitting in the lavish abidance of his office samar takes a look at his wall clock and feeling somewhat tired thinks of heading home. Looking over his neatly organised desk the fact that three emptly mugs of coffee sat on the table give away the fact that samar had been having a harsh day in genral..spending sometime regretting the way he had spoken to shivangi and the rest in offical bussiness work as well as his constant thoughts over his daughters illness things werent good. Just as samar was about to get up from his desk and reach for his blazer his phone rings ...picking it up aastha is calling. Picking up the call with a certain tiredness rubbing his forehead samar answers.
Samar: "Hum..bolo aastha"
aastha: "bhaiya who..aap jaldi city hospital aajayey shanti ko admit kiya hua hai." samars expression turning deep with worry he acts with instance leaving everything behind he heads for the hospital.
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hey guys ok I have updated bit late sorry but hope you liked it..please to leave your comments and for thoughts readers who read shiv ki gauri im going to try my best to update that soon...but thank you guys for reading and a special thanks to my silent readers for being silently with me..thanks!
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