Through Your Soul.
"It is my eyes that I so tenaciously try to hide for I have certain survival rules to abide and you're the one who penetrates through deceit I devised."
All I need is one look into them to judge your intentions. A lazy gaze shows me the flicker of angst engulfing your soul, specs of vulnerability wounding you, walls of monstrosity protecting you. You say you lie all too well to never get caught. You pull up a wall between yourself and your mother to protect you from the hurt everytime she uses you as an asset to get things done from your father. You never let your best friends get too close to you for they chose to believe in the lie you lived, in the callousness you wore. But I, my love, don't need the words you so recklessly throw, the composure you obstinately control, because for me your eyes pave the way right through your soul.
You say I am your shining star; I am the perfect white light. You tell me of your fears of abandonment, of being afraid to commit a mistake forcing me to leave you alone but don't be afraid dear for it is all because of you, it is all for you. I am as damaged as you are; I am as imperfect as you are but it is the way you look at me that I am unraveled. In your eyes I see myself as music to your soul; it is in your eyes that I see myself light to your dark. It is your eyes that show me the passion hoarded for me. And it is the solace in your eyes that I forever want to see in my sight.
I know you are damaged emotionally. I know I have scarred you all the more with my faltered trust in you. I know you are justified in hating me, in making me suffer. But I also know that you are hurting yourself too while going through this.
It pains me to see you like this, your eyes so hollow. They no longer hold the warmth reserved for me. No longer do they shine when I am with you. No more does you gaze drop over me when I look at you yet you will suffer silently with every sob that escapes my body.
You decide to express your hatred for me vivaciously to which I agree. You make it your point to make me feel the same hurt your felt when I betrayed you by not trusting you, I don't say a word. You claim to make me suffer but it is you who suffers just the double. For every suffering of mine, I am allowed to express it openly but you are not. You won't let anyone know you are suffering right along with me; you don't want anyone to know that there is showcase of love in your hatred too, but I do. It is your eyes that betray you again. They tell me of your concern for me whenever you do something to prove your non existent atrocity. They sing the tale of your guilt everytime I sigh with pain, of the thousand deaths you die everytime I suffer.
My single message of discomfort has you running to me at middle of night with the remedy to my suffering. In your defense you say you want to see me in one piece for your next extravaganza but your eyes betray you again. In them I see relief in seeing me perfectly fine in front of you. I see gratification in them when I accept the remedy you obtained. But what strikes me the most in the struggle I see there, struggle you do with yourself to not hug me right there and keep me safe in your arms.
You don't have to do this anymore. You don't have to hurt yourself this way anymore. Let me fix your heart, heal your scars, rouse your soul. I will make sure to fight for us no matter what you do. I will make sure that its contentment and happiness that is the only thing your eyes convey to me. I'll make sure you smile the smile that brightens up your eyes.
And I will make sure that it is I that resides in your eyes.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
