See...The second part's language had improved so much! I really see a writer being born in you! Exceedingly well! I like your ideas, pretty well put! :)
Colored Kareena from B-W Madhubala! Cutay!
If I was Nandini I would have asked Navya to get married to Harshad! :p I have my own platter of reasons which I won't like to unravel sabke saamne!đ
Okay, let's into serious business now! when you ask for X-ray review you actually mean that isn't it? I am pretty harsh reader actually, pretty radical in my views, be it a movie or a story! :)
The Harshad's revenge part, pretty convincing, also the fear Navya has! I like Cabir in this story, that's how I wanted him to be in the show! Since we are getting to read CaVya we are all enjoying much! :*
Now certain points you gotta keep in mind if you want the beauty of the writing to enhance (just suggestions, feel free to ignore)
When you write, keep in mind about the tense. I see sentences where you have used both tenses together which makes the lines grammatically incorrect.
Also you can avoid use of brackets to explain the background and keep it fluid.
And please don't italicize Comic Sans, it is tough to read in that font! :)
all in all, it was a good read...keep writing as that is how we grow! :)
Regards
Iptisha!
Edited by BeyondWords - 10 years ago