Short story*~Tread quietly upon the tracks~* Complete - Page 11

Originally posted by: karkuzhali

Haikus.

She's yet to be named

He's yet to be named so far

First meet on platform.😉

Why we get the feel

That we've seen them already

Is it obsession?

Partial sight she has

He's six feet two, wears taveez

We knew them before?😕

What makes the diff'rence

This one is in black and white

That was in colours..😃

Can we guess their names?

She is Champa or Jodh Bai

He may be Jalal..😛

KK.

Originally posted by: Sabdabhala

LETS W&W 😆

Originally posted by: karkuzhali

'Not dark brown. AMBER is the shade of your eyes.'

A gasp hitched in her throat, sending her hand up to her chest. In such a brief encounter he knew the shade of her eyes better than the man who was to wed and cherish her. 'Don't let anyone tell you otherwise' The words melted into her veins like molten liquid - there was an untold authority, an unbridled belongingness in them. 'Not dark brown. AMBER is the shade of your eyes. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise'

'Mind the gap...'

'Mind the gap...'

'Mind the gap...'

A second gasp hitched in her throat when the carriage doors slapped shut in front of her face. And that is when she noticed her feet on the platform. 'Wh...' In such a daze was she, that she hadn't the slightest idea when her legs had stepped down from the train! 'The money!' She'd intended to pay him back. And she hadn't done that. 'His name?' At some point, she'd meant to ask him his name. She hadn't been able to do that either. They hadn't exchanged numbers, or email ids. She had no information on him - what he did, where he lived, nothing! After everything that'd transpired between them, he was nothing beyond a silhouette behind a dark window now. And by next minute even that was gone - a distant memory he'd become, along with the train that'd left...

My addition..

Suddenly came to her mind the poster of the poem that was stuck in her compartment of the Underground Tube..

"My mom and yours, what are they to each other?

My dad and yours, how are they related?

You and me, how we know each other?

Yet, like the rain fall on red earth,

Our hearts in love merged into one.."

** It is the translation of the popular love poem from the ancient Tamil literature, "Kurunthogai". The translation was done by Sri A.K Ramanujan.

This poem and its English translation are popular around the world and are displayed in the London Tube.

"The London Tube, as the underground metro train service is known, was started in 1863 and now covers 408 km. It is the lifeline of the city. When the transport authorities began paying attention to the interior of the coaches, they instituted prizes for the best advertisement posters. In 1986, encouraged by the Poetry Society, short poems of five or six lines were displayed in a special show. It proved so popular that poetry display has since become a permanent feature in the trains." (Source:"The Hindu")

Originally posted by: Kalgi22

So and so the pretty tread she took us quietly upon the tracks of Piccaddily line, finished just like that.. 😭 😭 Oh no Chellam we want more.. 😭 😭 <<--- That's exactly I felt after reading it..

Ufooo Chellam... you are supposed to be ... not 😭 it is not the finish, but the start da!

Uff Mr. Midnight Blue.. Oops Mr. Khan... The fine specimen.. and his gentlemanly manners.. Uffo Chellam is too much to handle.. ❤️ ☺️ Poor Heera how could she manage all this temptation.. Sigh!! ☺️ 😉

🤣 Tell me about it... it was difficult to handle even as I wrote it!

So Mr. Khan now exposed the Mr.Piggy.. and the engagement is going to call off.. after that Chellam?? 🤪

Ingeyum, he is Mr. Piggy? Ramachandra 🤣

Thanks Chellam for this pretty.. divine.. handsome tread.. What an experience... It's so beautiful. Divine.. I'm sure I'm going to read it again and again..

That is what I wanted... if our AMK and Heera were in London and this was 2018, how different would it be... I wanted... in say 3000 words an entire storyline between two characters where we know their past their present and their future - all unrolling within thirty minutes of their unplanned meeting on a train/station...a story that feels 'complete' and can be read again and again, by itself!

It's a different thing that 3000 extended to 8000 though! 🤣

Originally posted by: lashy

Oh wow... haven't you mentioned this before? I think you have.. in one of the older threads... I am having a deja vue...

With this lil addition, to the paragraph that states the 'essence' of it all, shall I take the liberty of dreaming away that Periyamma liked this light version of a short 'In another time, in another place'snippet between the leads...

thanks a ton... this really really made my day! 🤗

Originally posted by: lashy