NOVEL~*Hiding behind a Stranger*~THREAD 32~Chapter 37-UPD JUN 28th - Page 41

Good evening Periyamma! 🤗 Good afternoon HBAS BBBS! 🤗

@ Bindu

I can emphathise with you, Sahiba. That's why, although I am away from home, I try to check in whenever possible because what terrifies me nowadays is the virtual homework on this thread, every time I am unable to log in according to schedule. 😃

@Lashy

Oh, I like satay, too. But, being a vegetarian, you wouldn't have tried the chicken pieces grilled on long thin sticks ( like kebabs ) which are dipped in the sauce and eaten. What did you eat the gravy with, rice or chapatti?

The two maids stood afar from their mistress in the herbal garden and were whispering to each other. It has come to their notice that their mistress is not herself for the last whole week. Not that she said anything improper to anyone, she is her usual elegant and graceful self but she seems spiritless, something seems to be amiss from her disposition! There was a lacklustre aura around her. Her eyes seemed far far away, her voice sounds a little dull, no spark left in her eyes, no smile around her mouth, there was a constant worry in her mind, nothing seems to excite her...overall she epitomised a sense of Loss!!

Bindiya told the other maid, I have never seen Baisa like this. Yesterday when I asked her to accompany me to the garden she refused. She has lost her appetite as well. She is not interested in her daily visits to the village as well.' The other maid intercepted, Maybe Baisa's health is not well.' Bindiya pondered a little looking at her mistress at a distance and replied, Well, she doesn't have a headache. I asked her and she refused a massage. I don't know Lila, it seems she has lost her urge and spunk to live. Even when Durga Baisa passed away she put up a brave front to lead us through but now it seems she has given up, on something or someone.' The maids stopped seeing their mistress getting up from her spot.

It was still hot but the shade recently put there under the instructions of Mansabdar Sahib has brought a respite to the heat and the slight breeze is also keeping it tolerably bearable. The sun though is shining but there is a humid array of clouds looming overhead creating a lot more perspiration and a stuffy atmosphere. Heera has been working for a long time in her garden keeping herself occupied and busy. That is what she needs. To keep herself busy from her wandering mind, her quizzical mind, her confused mind, her desirable mind!! Stop Heera, not again, you have been mulling for a week now over the same episode on the hilltop.' She looked up to see the sky but there she saw the shade of the tarpaulin cover put specially by Him and she knew why! He knows she works there most of the mornings or in the afternoon and to avoid her from getting a headache he has got the shade erected. He didn't explain why either to her or to anybody else but she knew! She is slowly starting to read her elusive husband though she has a long long way to go! She chided herself, There you go again, thinking about him. The more I try to forget the more he captures my mind.' But she stood there for some more time enjoying the shade and the breeze on a hot day and the shade brought a calming effect on her otherwise turbulent mind. Funny how his presence brings a turbulent effect on her otherwise calm temperament and yet he himself is always so composed!

She went upstairs and sat on the balcony to relax a little. Bindiya got her a glass of nimbupani' and before she could say anything she forced her to have some sips. She looked around the empty balcony and as usual, the forbidden person came to her thoughts again! She remembered their subtle conversation on the balcony the day the merchants came over. How with few words he conveyed his whole plan to her about keeping Parnagarh safe, beautiful and pollution-free! A genius plan she has to admit! Her eyes went to the valley lying ahead as far as her eyes can make out and she could see in the direction they headed last week to see the plot he has in mind, where the canal will be dug.

She has to admit so far after their marriage she has not faced "Ustaad many times. The deal with the miner merchants was definitely the work of Ustaad but it was for Parnagarh's benefit and so she doesn't have any complaints regarding that. But the way he asked her to send the scrolls to her men was definitely again Ustaad's work! He doesn't threat but barely tries to put the truth about the menacing outcome without any sugar coating!! That instance is still not sitting with her peacefully! She was forced into admittance. Can the justice she hankered for Jiji's demise, no it was Murder, will ever be achieved? Can she bring peace to her mind and Jiji's soul? How will she do it? All alone? Against the powerful Shehzaade's men? Another sigh escaped her looking at the valley!

The scrolls she has already send, she will not take any chances against her men's lives and neither she will take Khan Sahib's words lightly! She knows by now how the weight of his limited words can uphold the seriousness of a situation! He is not someone to be taken lightly! How can one man have so many facets? Khan Sahib, Samarth Singh, Ustaad, and she sighed, there is no point in denying that he is also a flirtatious lover which she tries to forget, yes miserably tries but does not succeed, all the time! They are all one person, different shades of one man! How many layers does he have? And each shade has its own characteristics, the reactions and actions are depending on whom you are dealing with! One common factor which she wholeheartedly agree, all the shades have is intelligence to an optimum level, his observation, his knowledge about minor or major facts of life, his being a problem solver of a dire situation, his temperament to remain cool and calm under extreme pressure and to top it his competence in acting out a character perfectly makes him what he is!! That is her Elusive Husband' in a nutshell!

Baisa', Dhani came to her. Heera came back from her trance and asked Dhani what she wants. Dhani showed her the pile of washed clothes in her hand. She said, Baisa, the washerwoman just came and handed these washed clothes. These are Mansabdar Sahib's but his room is locked, where do you want me to put them? Do you know when he will be back?' Heera pondered to herself, When indeed?' A man who doesn't let even his own shadow intrude about his whereabouts, intentions, actions, how will she know when will he return?! She quietly told Dhani, Leave the clothes here, I will take care of them'. Dhani left the pile in front of her and left. Heera looked at the pile and saw the infamous tunic he was wearing on the hilltop on the other day!!

Why are you thinking about him so much? He is away now, so relax and be tension free! After a while taking another sip she admitted to herself secretly and shamelessly that she misses him. She had back then when she left Aidabad being turned down by him and she misses him now as well. This time he has not betrayed her but she made a blunder of blurting out her feelings in an incoherent manner! She should not have used the word force' but she didn't intend to! She meant something else but only part of her intended feelings slipped out! Too many things happened all at the same time! Her headache, the effect of opium, her giggles, her choking followed by that inimitable kiss! She was shaken to the core! She wanted to explain to him but was too shaken to do so and before she could get a grasp of herself to explain further he probed and waited to hear her out. When she couldn't explain and he failed to get a cohesive response he spared her the explanation and gave his point of view and she can not contradict with what he said!! He was absolutely correct! He didn't pressurise or force her into submission for the kiss, he didn't force her to enjoy sublimity in his arms, he didn't force her to enjoy his company, he didn't force her to have an uninhibited conversation with him, he didn't force her to share a banter with him about Samarth Singh, he didn't force her to go and enjoy the race...she did all this on her own because she wanted to, because she was attracted to him from the get-go, because she is in love with him but, a very big but, she can not trust him! He holds the reins of her heart for sure but can not free the reins of mistrust from her mind! And truth be told, he has that hold on her, even in future if such a compromising situation occurs she will not be able to stop him, she will give in just like she did a week back on that afternoon on the hills of Parnagarh!

The episode came to her mind with a jolt. It is always there in the back of mind where she tries to keep it but many a times a day it resurfaces! How can you blame a 16-year-old curious girl who tasted her first act of intimacy with the man she is mesmerised with! She is bound to get carried away! Specially when such a man is involved who holds the strings of her heart! Whose one look, one word, one whisper, one act sways her very core! She admitted to herself she was intrigued by him at that moment when he held her in his arms, when he caressed her cheeks, stroked her tresses, grazed her lips with his thumb...she could have moved away if she wanted to, but she did not want to! She wanted to stay there enclosed in his arms of happiness, tenderness and love. She wanted to experience the flutter in her escalating heartbeats! She wanted his feel, his touch, his intimacy with her! In fact, she invited it! She admired him at that precise moment to have saved her from choking! His presence of mind again impressed her. She felt she was his, his precious someone, his personal someone, she felt she belonged to him, she wanted to feel exuberant in his arms!!

When she felt his first fleeting touch of his lips nothing else mattered, the whole surrounding valley went into oblivion, nothing existed but only him and her. She felt like sliding down on the ground if she was not holding on to his tunic for support! The feeling was heavenly and what she loved was his gentleness all along! He didn't get carried away, he was also getting a ground for himself in the intimacy arena, he was also getting used to the experience of ecstasy and so he didn't rush her, didn't push her but took his time and slowly got into the act! She can feel the moment even now!

But when he broke the kiss the spell broke too and the harsh reality dawned in! His words echoed in her ears! 'I'll protect you... never let you suffer... trust me, Heera'! That was a moment of paradox! The person is promising to keep her safe and never to let her suffer asking her to trust him, is the very person who took her trust away by betraying her! He took the farmaan' away breaking her trust using her heartfelt confession, he betrayed her by using her gift to parade as Samarth Singh to get to the farmaan', he betrayed her by keeping her men imprisoned in his safe house not letting them reach her allies!! How can she trust him? How can she believe that he will not betray her again? How can she be sure that this promise is not another act of betrayal on his part? How can she be assured that the intimate kiss they shared is not a ploy by him to get something else in return from her? What is the guarantee that he will keep his promise? What is the guarantee that Ustaad will not manipulate her again? What is the surety that he will not strike a deal again to get Shehzaade all the benefit? After all, his allegiance is always to his Huzoor! But all these apprehensions and doubts take a back seat when she sees him! The cycle of attraction restarts all over again.

She recollected the last time she saw him! When the palanquin bearers reached the haveli' from the hilltop, she saw him mounted on Bahadur waiting for the palanquin to cross him to enter the haveli'! She pulled the curtain apart and both their eyes met. He had a stoic look on his face wth an indifferent expression but his eyes had a forlorn stare! It was a mixture of hurt, pain and suffering! She clenched onto the curtains leaning over to keep staring at him! "Ma Bhavani, please don't let him leave like this, make him come back to sort this out, let me explain to him. While turning the bend to the gate she craned out her neck to see him but he gave a long lasting look at her, gave a quick taslim' and then headed out on Bahadur towards his unknown destination! It was a bleak moment!

Bitiya', Heera came out of her thoughts on hearing the gentle address. She looked up to see Chachajaan standing in front. She was going to get up but he stopped her. He gently asked, How are you? I was meaning to come and see you for the last couple of days but was busy since Akbar is away. Please let me know if you need anything. Heera was glad to hear his kind affectionate offer. She offered him a seat and reassured him that everything is fine. She asked about his health to which he jestingly responded, I am happy. What can happen to me when I am relaxed and enjoying the fabulous culinary delicacies of Maharaj Kakasa. He has made a fresh set of laddoos that I am devouring to my heart's content'. Heera smiled to see him enjoying himself in Parnagarh.

The old man knew something was wrong. He estimated it when Akbar returned that afternoon a week back and in a rush left for his trip. He leaves for innumerable trips for work but there was something different this time. His eyes! They showed a storm going on inside. He did gently probe about everything but as usual Akbar negated any idea of any upheaval or wrongdoing. He assured everything was fine but the tightness around his mouth said a different story. When asked if he told Heera about his trip he curtly replied in the positive and said she is on her way to the haveli' and she knows about his plan about digging of the canal for Parnagarh and about this trip. Something in the tone of that rich baritone raised an alarm in the old man but being wise he didn't ask much. He conveyed his good wishes and asked him to keep him informed if he needed anything. And just like that Akbar left packing a few stuff, changing into his riding gear and bidding Khuda Hafiz, take care of everything here Chachajaan. Send me a message if you need any help here'!! Being his guardian he knew exactly what he meant when he asked her to take care of everything and everyone! He knows exactly why he married, why he became the Mansabdar here, why he is doing so much for Parnagarh, why he moved from Aidabad but neither does Akbar say anything nor does he ever quiz him! After that day he has not heard anything except for today morning when he got a one line message to send Azeez to him. Nothing more, nothing less was mentioned in the message. That was the reason of his visit to Heera now.

He cleared his throat again. Heera looked up at him. He said, Well Akbar is a workaholic, always has been! And if he takes up a mission he makes sure he finishes it successfully.' Heera smiled within! Oh, doesn't she know this?' He knows how Akbar is tough from outside but is equally soft within but he will never ever show it unnecessarily. He will do the needful staying back in the background without asking for any acknowledgement. He mused softly, "I know my son, he can be harsh but it is the result of his work or for the well-being of his near and dear ones. 'I'll protect you... never let you suffer... trust me, Heera', rang in her ears!! Will she be able to do that? Trust him?

Chachajaan saw the distant look in her eyes. He carried on, Akbar told me about the water shortage problem in the village. It is good of the people and you to accept us and our people which have added to the water shortage I guess but I know if Akbar has taken up a project he will complete it. He will come up with a solution and that too as soon as it can be done. He always achieves his targeted goals, always keeps his promises. He feels for Parnagarh and its people', he deliberately paused to look at her. She knows Chachajaan is saying the absolute truth. The words echoed in her ears from far away, "'I have forced you, and will force you, when it's a matter of life and death... when it's a matter of your own safety...', 'Similarly, I would never force you to lie with me solely because we're wedded by law... if THAT is what you're afraid of!'

It is true!! Though he has betrayed her several times he has kept his promises as well. He has never taken undue advantage of her or of their marriage in any way whatsoever, he has kept his promises about keeping Parnagarh untainted, beautiful and untouched as much as possible, he has planned to come up with the solution of water shortage problem, he has always been kind to the people, he has never interfered in her faith or of the faith of her people, he has always shown her respect that is her due, he even made the unwilling merchants bow down to her in his own manipulative way, he has never ever demanded of his husbandly rights from her, he has never forced a compliance from her whatsoever on the personal front! Yes, he does keep his promises!

All she did was ask a little falteringly, When is...h...he...coming back?' A moment later she said, "Chachajaan I will ask Maharaj Kakasa to pack a bag of laddoos for Azeez to enjoy on his trip, and...some for...Khan ...Sahib. The old man rejoiced in agreement to note the attachment from her side for his son and left happily bidding goodbye. Involuntarily her eyes fell on the tunic and she smoothed the pristine, washed, pressed tunic removing invisible creases from it. She misses him, she wants the master of the house to be back, the Mansabdar of Parnagarh to be back, her Khan Sahib to be back, her Husband to be back! She will try to clear the misunderstandings that developed, she will try and give him a chance, she will try to trust him...will try!