NOVEL~*Hiding behind a Stranger*~ THREAD 2 - CHAPTERS 3 & 4

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Shinning_Stuti

@Shinning_Stuti

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#91

I read the chapter last night, but wasn't able to comment right then as you really made me speechless... I really needed sometime to engulf and accept the hard stroke of incidents that you vividly described in your story! Lashy Di, from where have you got this magical talent of compelling the readers to be mingled with the flow of your story and the life of the characters?⭐️👏

I can't say the chapter is awesome or beautiful or any singular adjectives like this... it was beyond of those goody adjectives. It was terrific, terrible, painful, blood-boiling and heart-rendering! The whole first part- the encounter between Durga and Khalil was breathtaking and scary as well! Dangerous it was!

I am again falling in love with your unique style of story-telling, just like I had fallen in NJAPA days... The slow proceeding towards the real incident, the detailing of Durga's normal daily works- her lazy, happy strolling through the down-memory lane, remembering her parents, remembering her dear sister who always makes her proud while seeing the 'aangan', and suddenly the first stroke of the danger followed by one by one hard strokes...the whole portion was hell thrilling and cinematic! And obviously your wonderful writing makes those too much realistic! It was feeling like I was watching all the scenes to be enacted in front of me, how a single courageous girl is fighting against such a blasphemous enemy- all alone!!

struggling not to weep, she recited what she'd thoughtfully rehearsed - a favourite childhood poem of theirs -

Jiji ran around the Haveli, with her eyes opened wide

Every trick uncanny, she may have tried

Every nook and cranny, she may have spied

But never did she find me, because I know how to hide!

And in the very next breath, 'RUUUNNN' she screamed, so both boys would snap into action...👏👏👏 a masterstroke this one is!

Khalil! The beast! The numb, nude symbol of terror and violence...You have crafted him viciously![And some of us was guessing him as the hero 🤣 🤣 ] The fight between him and Durga was unequal, unfair, and despite knowing the consequence of the whole incident- Yet, Durga bai didn't cower in fright 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Hats off to Durga!

At the same time, it was a very nasty and painful reality as well as a blood-boiling one that you showed mercilessly, when Khalil bargained the price of the FARMAAN with the honour of her womanhood.. it was heart-wrenching! In spite of being much efficient than a man, only as Durga is a woman, she has to go through such a humiliating state...at the end of her battle, the enemy takes her nothing but a piece of flesh and blood...when an enemy defeats her, he does not only crashes her ego and pride, but also smashes her entity as a woman... It was heart-wrenching and the hard reality too!😭

For, he took away the Farmaan,

Then, took away her modesty,

And finally, took away her life too.

Three little sentences, and all ends in a second! You know di, these three lines are those which did not let me to sleep very easily yesterday night! How a spark of fire like Durga can be extinguished by a monster like Khalil so easily- so harshly and so cruelly!

Before leaving the chamber, he cast a final glimpse at her still form, unaware of what a wonderful and promising young life he'd wasted thus!

Very true! He is unaware, and neither he has any need to know! He is a robot of his master!

The thoughts of Durga before this horrible incident tells us how happily and simply they used to live their life- with very little scope of extravagance and a lot of responsibilities for a little territory, for those people whom they love from heart... Was the adamant wish and arrogance of the prince really more important that the life of a girl like Durga and the happiness of so many peoples? 😭

The conversation of Heera and her jiji in her dreams was tear-jerking, and also had the beam of practicality. We can see the overview of Heera's journey from now...She will successfully abide by her Jiji's last message I know, and will make her Jiji proud again, just like how she does every time!👍🏼 And I am awed by your handling the flow of emotions in such a tough situation so delicately! 👏

The last part of the chapter was full of suspense and thrill! Will not elaborate much now on this as I am yet to get out of the thoughts of first part- the bravery of Durga... Only I am exalted, elated and excited to see that, perhaps the 'stranger' for whom we all were looking for, has taken an entry.😳

I will be eagerly waiting for the next chapter, to know about him...😉

Edited by Shinning_Stuti - 9 years ago

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Donjas

@Donjas

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#92

Fast moving and hard hitting. Just the way I like my stories. An impressive update. Keep it up.

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Nancy

@Heeralicious

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#93

What do I even say? Atleast one thing is clear, You said it'd be shocking and IT IS! You know I was totally in some sort of trance for sometime after I read it for the first time. And then immediately after reading the update, I scrolled down and read "Keep the rage simmering.. Revenge shall come" which had me a bit calmed down!

You do realise now, don't you, what effect your woven characters have on us. Merely 3 chapters and we are already so much attached and emotionally involved! I don't know what else to do but this is for you >>> 👏👏👏

The first half of the update was totally on-the-edge-of-the-seat type! I was biting my nails, praying in the name of heavens, that nothing wrong should happen to Durga. Though I knew she'll die but not the way it took place! I didn't know I had this in me.. but yes now I know .. I hate Khalil.. he disgusts me to the end of the world, I have never hated any character so much. Not even the psycho professor of NJAPA. Swearing abusive words to the wrong-doers won't do enough I know, so I am just waiting for the right time, when My Harka along with her strength, the stranger, will take vengeance together with the much needed interest!

I thought the cryptic poem/puzzle was the way to the farmaan where Durga must have supposedly hidden it and that, she actually tricked the monster with some fake paper or something.. But seems it's actually gone.

The best part about the first half was the never-ending fighting spirit of a true warrior, Durga Bai! 👏She reminded me of the exact moment when the professor had tried to attack Jo in green room but the spirit with which she had fought back was re-witnessed today! Loved how Durga didn't allow herself to breakdown and knew what the need of the hour was! I absolutely loved watching her fierce fight-back and my eyes shone with pride when she gave it back ferociously to the beasts till her last breath! The worst thing I could ever imagine happening to her was "snatching away of her modesty".. this is worse than death! It had me numbed for some time. And I can only imagine how Harka will avenge when time will be in her favour!

Second half was no less. Though painful to read the state of Harka, but it definitely had overall positivity. The thunderstorm of black clouds has passed and there shall be a silver lining eventually!

Loved how Harka found solace in Durga's voice, even if it was just a hallucination. I was able to feel what Harka was going through only because you made it so breathtakingly real and genuine! Kudos to you >>> 👏👏👏

I love love love the loyalty, respect and love the guards and maids cum friends of Harka have for her. The way they support their Baisa, no words will be enough.

I am really happy that slowly with time, Harka will be out of the numbing pain and that, she has already taken the first baby step of coming out of the stupor. Ofcourse that pain is gonna remain forever, but atleast it'll only act as a driving force for the revenge and not as a liability!

And finally, our Stranger makes the entry! Haaye. The awful thieves or tribes or whoever they were, backed off and ran away with a mere indication that our stranger was near... my god! This only tells what a terrific and robust demeanour our lead possesses! BTW loved how even in such a state of mind, Harka could gauge the exact number of horses.. only tells of what a natural and god-gifted intellectual she is.

My favourite line of the update >>> 'A Heera indeed' Anything she touches, blossoms... and anyone she treats, heals!' I am irrevocably in love with this line. ❤️ And I realised that since Harka has already touched the ashes of her dear sister, Durga by now is free from the filthy touches that may have touched her body but her soul is now all liberated and as pure as ever! Durga must be smiling from heavens above, thanking her baby sister for healing her and giving her solace! 😃

Now waiting with a bated breath for the next update! What should I even say about your writing.. so what if my words are repetitive but I am gonna say this hundred times and more.. you are an EXCEPTIONAL author! You make us visualise what we can't even imagine.. make us feel what we haven't ever felt before.. and that too in such a short period of time. Keep the excellent marvel of our novel coming. You are a blessed writer. And keep it up! Love you so much. 🤗 ❤️

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Nancy

@Heeralicious

Inactive

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#94

Originally posted by: .AkDhian.

Lashy di,

I've read all the three chapters in one go🥳

Hats off to the writer in you for this different and intriguing tale👏👏.

I was lil surprised initially,since I expected this to be a love story of Akbar and Jodha.But my curiosity levels increased with the progress in story.

Durga and Harkha,both
the characters are extremely inspiring.I relished every bit of all the three chapters.

The love of two sisters
for each other,for their land and people is overwhelming and theamount of
courage,determination and presence of mind exhibited by these teenagers is mind blowing.A big round of👏👏 for shaping up their characters so well.
Its heart-wrenching to read how the fate played an ugly game and shattered the lives of the people of Parnagarh and its heiresses😭😭
I just want to kill the so
called Shehzaada and the monster Khaleel😡😡
How could someone be so inhumane😡😭.I had to pause for a while after reading what happened to Durga,didn't expect this.I thought she would kill herself before his filthy hands are laid on the pure soul.I couldn't restrain my tears,di😭😭.
I've no words to express how proud I felt,reading the brave girl putting up a tough fight till the end.But can't even imagine her begging and pleading the devil.
Waiting for the revenge you've promised.
Your description of her thoughts,quick plans and actions..everything was flawless and her fearless nature reminded me of Rani Durgavati,about whom I read on Abhay's blog.
Harka has broken down emotionally with her beloved sister's demise😭.Glad that she still has those few loyal companions with her.
So,the HERO has made his entry,at the right time..whistle podu moment it is🥳😆.
Waiting eagerly for the next part.Thanks for the PM😊
Love you WRITER-E-KHAAS🤗

Bindu !! 🤗
Just read your amazing review ! Loved reading it! 😃

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.AkDhian.

@.AkDhian.

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#95

Thanks Namu🤗 and I enjoyed reading yours😃

You are an expert in giving reviews,dear👍🏼

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IshqHaiWoEhsaas

@IshqHaiWoEhsaas

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#96

@red.

Originally posted by: lashy
So beautiful Shagun... You write such a beautiful piece and then you apologize? Pagli! If this is how your write ups are going to be, I don't mind the delay!

Glad you liked it di! 😳

Thanks for such a lovely review 🤗

My pleasure di...🤗

Edited by -AkDha.Lover- - 9 years ago

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IshqHaiWoEhsaas

@IshqHaiWoEhsaas

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#97

@Ashu and twinnie, Thanks for liking my review. 😳

PS : This is from the previous thread. 😆😆😆

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IshqHaiWoEhsaas

@IshqHaiWoEhsaas

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#98

Nams di and Bindu di, Wonderful review! 👏

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Ashvneet

@Ashvneet2399

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#99

Look ! This time m on time yay 😆 though it's surprising for me as well as I am always a late lateef 😛 !

The chapter was absolutely Marvellous dii 👏⭐️ . From the beginning till end The one thing I loved loved n loved the most is the Bond between these two sisters ⭐️ . None of both is less , be it in terms of beauty , courage , strong will , bravery , royality, everything in them , makes me adore them more n more ⭐️ . The two precious gems they are ⭐️ !

' Anything she touches, blossoms... and anyone she treats, heals!'

Which words other than these can effectively describe 'A Heera' ? 👏

I've always loved the character of Durga , the name Durga itself describes her persona ! Such a strong willed girl , ready to go to any instinct to save the people. Really , just love her ⭐️ .

Thank you for the information...' she said, and in a quick-thinking spurt, sliced his neck with the knife she'd been hiding in her cummerbund.

Damn her killer moves ! Poor fellow , couldn't hold the fire behind that beauty ! 😆

Jiji ran around the Haveli, with her eyes opened wide

Every trick uncanny, she may have tried

Every nook and cranny, she may have spied

But never did she find me, because I know how to hide!

This poem , such a mesmerising piece it is , How Durga remenscised this poem ... The scene was soo touching , their bond is soo touching !

Show me some respite Bhavani Ma... for all the prayers I've offered you...'

When does God even listen to us when we are in need , what's written in destiny is bound to happen . Pardon me dii , if get too involved here .

Yet, Durga bai decided that she wouldn't cower in fright.

This girl is commendable . A true inspiration to all the women ⭐️.

'What if I take your dignity and modesty instead?'

That bloody ... Mai naa abi use itni gaaliyan nikalna chahti hu vo b punjabi k Sharm k maare us us ... Gadhe k kaan ki tympanic membrane fttt jaaye.

As I earlier said , pardon me if get too involved 😛 but this all eventually is all your fault , aap likhte hi aise Ho k hm khone pe mjboor ho jaate h .

That haraami, what the hell did he do ? Oh I wish I could kill him ... Bloody bndr...

This is what torments my soul , I seriously can't stand my rising rage to this . How the hell that monster could ?

I wish his death to b the most painful one ... The pain he suffers he wouldn't even hhev thought of ... !

Durga ... What to say about her ... She is the true hero ! A true warrior!

Never even for once did I think her end to b this dreadful !God had been unfair to her , she definitely did not deserve this cruelty .

At last stranger ki entry se mera gussa thoda sa shaant hua ... But must say his entry was a pure blisss... !

Looking forward for the next update 🤗

Edited by Ashvneet2399 - 9 years ago