NOVEL~*Hiding behind a Stranger*~ THREAD 1 - CHAPTERS 1 & 2

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#921

Originally posted by: shyana3
wonderful awesome waiting to read further continue soon

Thanks Shyana... 😳

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#922

Originally posted by: sorathsheikh
😆

? 🤔

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#923

Originally posted by: mama17

What an intriguing story.
I love that adjective intriguing... as a fan of mystery... nothing could be a better compliment so thank you for letting me know you found it so!

I know with each update its going to be wow, wower, wowest...
Awww 😳

Durga bai did feel what's coming, still she took the risk of her life like a true leader. She indeed was sure of Harka's capabilities to take care of their land and people. The Prince or his fellowmen killed the heiress for the farman?
The story will unveil itself in the next few chapters... and I aim to post chapter 3 coming Sunday.. so... you'll get some of your answers then😊
Thanks mama 🤗

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#924

Originally posted by: rs_fun2

👏 that's all I can say! Waiting for the story to unfold

That's all? 😭

Originally posted by: Kalgi22
😆

Yeah can't wait for it

☺️

Edited by lashy - 9 years ago

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sorathsheikh

@sorathsheikh

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#925

Originally posted by: lashy

? 🤔

🤗 Hehe Kia hua ? 😆

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#926

Originally posted by: alffim

Nooo!!! No apologies! The right of the author to the story - is sacred! 😃
Awww so nicely put!😳

Just your characters are very "live". And though, in those days, they matured earlier, but these two young girls have took a lot of hardship and responsibilities very early. And my feelings and sadness as a reader - from the experience of life? 😊
Again...well said.. there is a depth in your sentences... though short they're very pithy... I am sorry if I understood wrong, but did you say you had a personal connection with the girls because of your own experiences... If so, I hope/wish you well in everything hereafter... and a hug to make you feel better 🤗

"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow". (Ecclesiastes 1:18, King Solomon, This the translation didn't I).
in short:
"In a lot of knowledge, a lot of grief" - than I living longer... 😃
👏

What tough call will wait of girl 16 years in a men's world to save her lives, honor and country?
I know it will be very exciting! Eagerly wait to continuation.
Yes... and I haven't revealed the full side of this 16 year old yet... so hope it keeps you entertained... 😳

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#927

Originally posted by: sorathsheikh

🤗 Hehe Kia hua ? 😆

Why laughing dear?

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#928

Originally posted by: shahbhavini

Me... doing super duper cool...woh bole to bindaas... zakash😆
BHAVANI BHAI MBBS 😆
OMG... My fav writer is complimenting me😃 Let me blush as always☺️
As always? Awww 😆

Actually, the man is not weak in maths.. he taught her accounts..😲(Did I miss that part). but, he is a worry wart... and can't think straight when worried... (he is somewhat like me then😆)
No you haven't really... I guess I just revealed something ahead of its time..

What I mean is... I am seeing Gauri supporting Harka in future like her right hand...
True! 😳

👏
In first, chapter U mentioned about steel mine... and she doesn't want to trade or let anyone use it... what is the reason? She doesn't want Mughals to get stronger and obtain more weapons

The next chapter... 😉
Jhanu ... my hemu darling also sharp like our Harkabai😆
I know... 😕 how she observes those things, I don't know...
🤗

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harshal

@harshu27

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#929

Originally posted by: lashy
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hey lashy 🤗 btw 100 yrs after Akbar...will have to scratch my brains but anyways I would prefer to wait till u ur self reveal it in ur story... 😉 as ur story is really suspense and interesting... 😉about electricity dn its d effects of d stories m reading on d forum dat has made me to crack it just d beginning itself😆and its my pleasure and happy also that m able to give a big review on ur beautiful update... 😳

Edited by harshu27 - 9 years ago

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Shraddha

@lashy

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#930

Ok so here I come... reserving one of the choicest for last... read your words for about 5-6 times... and then like Harka, I hummed and hawed, wondering how to reply to something so thoughtfully put ... and then realized there never can be true justification so I shall make do with what comes to my mind for now...

I don't even know what to say! What a beautiful chapter. Take a bow !!!⭐️

I know a sad ending..but hey, the chapter wasn't sad on the overall! Loved it so much

Another 'marvel of excellence' arrives! 👏 😛

You know, I think you are outdoing yourself in every next chapter. What I loved the most in the chapter were the small intricate details..written and brought about brilliantly! 👏👏

For eg,

-Sliding aside the edges of her embroidered veil, she peeped out.

-interrupted by a soft exclamation uttered in the most charmingly feminine of tones (this was one of my favourite - I went over diff combinations of those 4 words many times over😳)

-the very appealing profile of a noblewoman, who couldn't be entirely hidden even by the floating green drape veiling her.

-'A marvel of nature' , a rare direct glimpse of her kohl-filled eyes , So intense was the authority in those eyes that he was certain they could bring even the fiercest of soldiers to their knees.

-her skin a lucid ivory, lips redder than rubies, hair falling in distinct curls.(Wooow!!!! )

At this point, I really did imagine you wearing a veil on your head and prancing in front of a mirrow (like I told you..😆.)

and so many more, I've lost the count!!! My god. I've no words left for them. Such beautiful refreshing words. And also I feel that there is a newness.. a freshness in the writing.. which makes the reading all the more enjoyable!❤️

As I told Payal, I am planning to use both of your methods to review other works henceforth... really boost the spirits of an author to know what she's written has been read with such interest!👏

Following are Some of the few lines that had me totally captivated! Few of the finest lines.. that Ive ever read... that leave you all dreamy.. and take you to a different time altogether!

-The sun was beginning its descent towards the horizon. The once hectic scenes were now winding down, the extensive fairgrounds beginning to resemble the stark desert lands they were, before it all began

Wow. Such a picture to imagine.

Awww thank you! 😳

- With every heaving gallop that her horse took, the rush of autumn air embraced her face and coursed through the length of her tresses, blowing back its many curls. The sensation was breathtaking - like the many other sensations she'd been experiencing.

- The excitement of exploring undiscovered landscapes. The challenge of navigating a new horse through untrodden grounds. The pleasure derived from flaunting her riding skills in front of a prince. The luxury of listening to the little sounds of joy - sounds of jhumkas tinkling. Of bangles clinking. Of their unabated laughter merging. Of her heartbeats soaring.

Breath-taking! How do you do this di? I had my eyes go all dreamy..it was as if I was experiencing such bliss.. the only difference will be ..in front of Jalal and not Mahendar! 😆

but Amazing! Simply amazing.❤️

No wonder your eyes went all dreamy... it was Jalal that did the trick! 😉

- Truth was that he could barely come to terms with her riding skills. She had matched his speed all along, which was no easy task by itself - but the fact that she had achieved it despite riding sideways on an unfamiliar beast, had to make her the best horsewoman out there

👏👏👏 for Durga! (and you ofcourse 😆)

Hee hee...

- Because unlike the older sister's impassioned charisma that blazoned like wild fire,the younger one's luring personality was quiet and calming like the smouldering coals of a homely hearth. She wasn't the agile horse-riding weapon-wielding athleteher jiji was, but what she was, was a gifted learner. A mathematician. A linguist. A biologist. And most importantly, an expert healer.

My god! Can I BE more in love with them? (*in Chandler's tone*)

Just how beautifully you've unravelled the Hunar-ki-khaan Harka Bai😉

Awww

- And despite such exceptional intelligence and beauty, her best attribute, people thought, was her grace. In the face of adversity, she was more poised and stoic than most aristocrats. The same patience and composure with which she tackled challenges and managed business had allowed her to convert a barren patch of aangan into a sprawling herbarium.

Another WOW-ee moment! ⭐️

And another double Awww moment!

So, these were some of the lines which were the heart of the update accg to me! And many more. Now coming to update..The opening scene was good. Ratan kaka and his 'way' of peace!😆 Hmm.. before the heated arguments turned into a full-blown battlefield, our very own peace-lover and maker Harka came to the rescue! Loved how she totally changed the mood of the scene with her witty wisdom and that wasn't even made up, it was sweet and genuine on her part! 😳😆

Sometimes, it's so refreshing to see the readers picking on and detailing points that I haven't given much thought to, because when I read it through your eyes gives it a greater impact! Your underlined sentence was one such...

I really liked how the trader was very loyal and respecting towards his "Sahib" 😉 and held his guards high until he could see that there was no pretence! And also liked this line too 'You are very gracious, Sahiba...' 😛

Oh my lovely Sahiba

The trader was a good guy... just got caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time... or was it the right place at the right time? 😉

The whole Durga and Kunwar Mahendra's moments were sweet and amazing. Loved how you described Durga's new found feelings..bashfulness, the thrill of the first-times. (lol..no GM intended there!)

Oh really, now?

Banter of Harka and her friends was a good fun read. 😆 Loved how the girls wanted to know about Harka's dreams wrt her prince 😳😆 I wish our prince charming enters the scene soon! and sweep Harka off her feet !

Yes... her knight in shining armour as, Nims put it...

Coming to the crux of the update, the characterisation of Harka Bai was SPOT ON!! 👏👏 I already quoted the paras above but what words!! ⭐️👏 Loved loved loved how you've portrayed her. She's a perfect package of everything needed in a goddess of a woman! But one small tiny winy complain.. why didn't you make her a chemist instead of biologist? lol.. Kidding! 😆

17th century chemist... hmmm ... possible premise for next story... 😆

Having said that, she's a nerd.. so I'd think she'd understand whatever little chemistry (no GM intended) they were exposed to at that time perfectly well...

So all in all,I totally loved how you gave Durga some amazing moments with Kunwar.. AND how you let us know with pride what character of Harka is!

🤗

Durga's and Harka's parting words were heart-warming.. and Durga knew she was needed for the important matters!

Now the saddest part.. Its really sad to bid bye to Durga Bai, but we know its for upcoming good!

a diamond ring and a small urn of ashes - precious artefacts that not too long ago formed the very identity and essence of Durga Bai!

This had me 😲😭

😭 Sowwie

Screw you the so-called Prince!😡 I am sure you'll pay for it soon! 🤢

Rofl! You and chellam are the first ones to be gaal-ying him so much when others are ga-gaing! Let's see what happens...

Keep up the wonderful work di! Love you so much 🤗

Love you more! 🤗

Edited by lashy - 9 years ago