Originally posted by: history_geek
Radhika,
Nice Post..I agree with you...And trying to elaborate your points... :))
I am using some contents of an Old Post of mine today, here, i think 99% members must not have read this one..
So, you didn't completely brush me aside after all! 😛 You did think about it. Thanks! Lovely post and seemed familiar to me, if not to 99% members. 😊 I looked back and found the original post on this page (pls don't mind ;p):
Those who visit this link, pls see this too: 😊
Lets try to see the Change in Ruqayya Begum, and analyze how she will do in future. I view her in two phases - Pre JJ marriage and Post JJ marriage. She DID NOT change overnight but took some time. I would attribute these changes in her NOT ONLY due to the "INSECURITY", BUT ALSO due to the reason that she Ceased to "EvOLvE". If Beagle was instrumental in leading to the Darwinism, then here Ruqayya's inability to tackle the "evolution" in Jalal OR to Evolve herself, is the mirror view of why she is - what she is at present, i mean 'insecure.?. or unassertive.?.'.!!.
I am understanding this post better now than I did then. 😊
I feel Ruq ceased to evolve the day she felt complete monopoly over the harem, which was her entire world. She did not feel the need to evolve further after becoming the BEK and Hindustan ki Malika, by default, as she was the first and chief queen. As Jalal was growing and evolving mentally, intellectually, and emotionally, she chose not to evolve with him because she had no need then to "increase her value" personally or in Jalal's eyes.
Jalal is what Ayushi calls a lifelong learner and he was evolving even before he met Jodha. It was a result of his growth as a person that he subconsciously felt the need for a friend, a wife, a companion who could be his equal in every respect. It must have been obvious to him even then that the "stagnant" Ruq would not be able to meet his needs in the long run. Hence the quest for that enigmatic woman who would be able to not only satisfy his needs but challenge him to grow further led him to Amer and the rest is history.
Coming back to Ruqaiyya, is she insecure and unassertive? I never thought of her in these terms before. She is secure in her position as the BEK. But beyond that position or in the absence of that position, she is like a fish out of water. She can only see herself as an entitled woman, a queen. Not just any entitled woman but one who has the highest possible title among all her peers. This gives her confidence, massages her ego that she is superior to everyone else, including the emperor. It gives her a "high". Why does she need this "high"? Because within her heart, she doesn't know her own worth and feels empty, hollow, without any identity of her own. Only a person who is not content with what she is already will look for artificial "highs" and inculcate some "addictions" (and I don't mean the hukkah here). Her addiction is to power / auda.
She has never tried to discover her true self, who she is. She can only see herself in terms of her relation with Jalal. If Jalal is the emperor, she is the queen. If Jalal is a man, she is his best friend. If Jalal is not there in her life, what is she? Nothing, in her mind. If Jalal is not the king, what is she? Nothing, in her mind. Which explains her restlessness when Jalal was about to divorce her, when Jalal moved away to Jodha, when Jalal wanted to make Jodha the BEK, when Jodha was to become the MUZ.
When you talk of assertiveness, it reminded me of what I learned years back about the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. Ruq is aggressive and we have seen instances of this behavior with people she considers "weaker". Much like a school bully, she seems to enjoy wielding power over weaker or less assertive opponents through a brute display of aggression rather than any assertion of herself. Jodha, by contrast, is usually quiet and willing to play along. But when pushed to a corner, she knows how to assert herself without any need for an aggressive display of her "official position or authority".
She is at times uncertain and lacks confidence in discovering and feeling her own value(.?.!.?.!.), and one or more of her capabilities, lacks trust in herself and NOW even in Jalal .!!. Because , since starting ALL she cared was her BEK Auhda, the power, and Jalal ALWAYS assured her that her Auhda would remain INTACT...In her 10 years of marriage, didn't she understand the meaning of THE WORD of Jalal.?. Her insecurity is nothing BUT a difference in her level of awareness, regarding Jalal.(though she says she understands HIM, and she is his Bachpan ki Dost.!!.)
Elaborating on "The Word" of Jalal. As with everything else, Ruq understands everything in the "official context" only. Which explains why she cornered Jalal in the DEK with regard to his "zubaan", as she felt that the zubaan was important for the emperor and his prestige only, not to Jalal on a personal level. Which also explains why she made him sign the farman, to make sure that Jalal, the "father/husband", did not win over Jalal, the emperor.
The irony is that in spite of taking so many precautions, her worst nightmare came true. Jalal, the husband won over Jalal, the emperor and disregarding the farman, his zubaan, his honor/self-respect, Jalal begged her to share Hussein with Jodha for some time. Sharing Hussein meant sharing the MUZ title in her eyes. Which she couldn't allow to occur. Hence, the rigid stance against sharing. Even at the cost of her friendship with Jalal. Once earlier too, she had given up on her friendship with Jalal when she felt that Jodha was carrying Jalal's child. Because the pre-Jodha era Ruq was always used to be the "queen bee" and could not forgive her friend or accept him if he gave away the "prerogative to be the MUZ" to someone other than her.
Deep in her heart of hearts (if she has one.?.), she knows that "truth" about Jalal(that his DIL is functional and beats for Jodha) but she refuses to acknowledge it as she fears that the present 'gala' time will last for a few days only. And when she faces reality, then will feel let down and cause them agony, by going the wrong way in the future,(For Sure.!.) as this is a normal personality attribute, and this only differs in magnitude from person to person depending on the LEVEL of insecurity and the degree upto which they can manipulate their fears from overtaking their inner conscience, and here Ruqayya seems very weak.
This was a good prediction you made 6 months back. 😊 She is going down the wrong way and bringing great agony to everyone.
@text turned Red: As discussed ^^^, Ruq seems to have low self-esteem. She is not aware of her identity or worth as a person. She is therefore unable to control the demons that plague her mind, as they do everyone's minds. She has a "just" side to her, which is increasingly getting pushed down by the demons that want her to retain her auda and hold over Jalal, both of which seem to be slipping away.
Jalal has changed a lot but the same SHOULD also have occured with Ruqayya also. But, as she remains in her OWN world of "Bachpan Ki Dosti" , this clause has categorically DEPLETED Ruqayya, and disallowed her to develop her relation with Jalal. Her diffidence, her fears, her anxiety, have taken a toll on many of her personal qualities which she HAD EARLIER, and now have disappeared. The regal-neSS in her SEEMS LOST. One can analyze this by keeping many dimensions in our mind. I won't quote any single event.
@text turned red: The problem, if I can call it that, is that she does not communicate openly with Jalal, forget about others. She lives in her illusory world where she is the eternal fairytale princess. Whatever fears she may have had, whatever doubts she may have had regarding her own worth to Jalal, whatever diffidence she may have had in searching for and attaining her own identity - she could have and should have discussed with Jalal and found answers. Instead she communicates with him through "zid" and assertion of "her authority". So far, Jalal pandered to her every zid and indulged her notion of being "more equal" than him.
Yesterday too, she tried to play the same cards again. She carefully chose her words and asked him if he would hurt his friend for the sake of helping Jodha and tried to emotionally blackmail him by asserting that he would have to take Hussein from her over her dead body. The earlier Jalal would have been quick to make his friend happy by agreeing to her wishes. But the Jalal who is seeing his once-strong wife crumbling in front of him is not willing to indulge the friend anymore in this regard. He feels, and rightly so, that a person who has lost her child forever and is quickly slipping into a state of soul-less existence needs greater care than someone who is only being asked to "lend" her child for a few days.
Seeing Ruq yesterday gave me hope that her downfall is imminent. Now it is not only a question of holding on to the MUZ title that would give her power in the future but holding on to her control over Jalal that is needed to give her power NOW. It must have disturbed her greatly that the WORD of Jalal was expendable in the face of his love for Jodha. And it must have disturbed her even more that Jalal had not fallen for her usual strategies.
Many would say that her vulnerability / instabilty / fragility / insecurity, has it's roots in her bachpan years, as she lost everything in her childhood..., though i differ here, 'Coz she has BEEN Jalal's WIFE and a Queen for the last 11 years, and hence was EXPECTED to shrug off any such rickety-ness, because all these years Jalal was present with her...She said she RULED the Harem all these years, then where is the insecurity.. She wanted to be BEK, and Jalal gave her that title...She wanted to be Khaas and she remained so...
I would say, the yardstick one sets should not be to feel secure, but to be able to overcome insecurity(if it is PRESENT) or atleast EvolvE. And, the one who fails, for them Darwin has given the answer -> Survival of the Fittest, Rest are Eliminated..!!
@text turned reddish brown: Well said!
@RED underlined..
Very nice point..Is she so fragile that she can be instigated.?. No. She was already nursing that ambition in her inner conscience...I can NOT forget the act where she took away Hussain from Jodha to put her in the cradle.
Though she still has TIME which is FAST running OUT, more or less like Bolt passing through the finish line on the sprints, in the Jamaican ''Heats''. She can change, and if NOT change, adjust herself, and can put a hold on her ever increasing shaky feelings and thereby that "FEAR" can be overcome. Yes, it always gonna take time, and she NeedS a good deal of patience and a slow realization that her own worth is purely a matter of her OWN interpretation, NOT ANY AUHDA or POWER..She was Jalal's BEST FRIEND before the Title of MUZ...Isn't it.?.." .
It seems too late in the day for her to change or evolve or even understand her own worth. All her life, she has been engaged in trying to show her proximity to and hold over Jalal and her superiority over others of her ilk. Hence the comparisons. She can only see herself in terms of how powerful and superior she is wrt others like Jodha. She seems to be a firm believer in the theory of relativity - that everything has a value only in relation to something else and not in absolute terms. (See text turned red below.)
It is true(in her case) that "her" insecurity follows NOT due to her own acts "BUT" from concerns relating to "others" , because Everything, she wants is in comparison to Jodha. She took away the child NOT for fulfilling her ambition to LIVE motherhood, BUT >>
1. To separate Jodha from that Kid,
2. Become MUZ...
Hence, her dialogues yesterday were totally over my head, and i was in NO MOOD to sympathize with her, because (as per promo, which NOW seems true) she is NOT GOING TO GIVE the Kid , ONLY BECAUSE SHE WANTS THE AUHDA of MUZ...!!!!!.. I am totally disconnected from Ruqayya..!!
I can not understand her, as she NEVER ever understood motherhood..
Had she understood it, she would not have asked for the Kid at the first place, FOR HER trying to become MUZ..!!!... SHe FAILS to understand that SHE CAN NOT get EVERY thing she wants..!!. She can not become MUZ but adopted this ROUTE to GET THE POWER Equivalent to that of MUZ through this Kid..!!!..
PS - Pardon me for this boring writeup... ;p
Thanks for the "boring" writeup ;p I understood what you were trying to say. I wanted to ask you to elaborate and you elaborated without my asking. Thanks again! 😊
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