Cleo12345
I agree, we should stand up for victims...but there is a difference between victims and people who choose to be victims. It is best to save our time and energy for the real victims like Tasneem and other children n women who had no option but to give in.
Of course we cant expect the CVs to write a perfect track but I am glad that this track will address some serious issues.
1. Gender discrimination
2. Domestic abuse
3. Sexual harassment of women by family members
All three issues still haunt the Indian society. Of course the execution will be as per JA rules and regulation booklet...positive characters will be degraded and negative characters will somehow escape punishment. But the message at the end of the track will be good(hope soWink)
Bakshi Bano is a victim of domestic violence. We all agree on that. But why is she putting up with it is the real question.
Let us first consider some of the reasons that stop a domestic violence victim from leaving her abuser.
Fear, low self-esteem, money , children, hope, pressure from family, ignorance, love, inertia, learned helplessness, cultural or religious constraints, fear of social isolation, guilt about failure of marriage...and more.
BB has her reasons too...Guilt about failure, learned helplessness resulting in fear and low self-esteem certainly stand out.
But does having a reason gets her off the hook? Absolutely not. SD is a jerk but BB has to accept her share of responsibilities. For two reasons
1. She has options. She is not a poor uneducated bandi with three kids and no support system. Staying with SD is her choice. She has the unconditional support of Shehensha-e-hindustan.
2. She is endangering the welfare of people around her by keeping SD around. And she is aware of it.
I have a few questions...Why did she lie in first place? Did she really have no other choice? No plan B to save her baby? Doesn't she know SD? What was she doing throughout her pregnancy? Never thought about what she will do if the Hakima does not agree to her impulsive and utterly stupid plan A? Didn't she know that a circumcision ceremony will be done for a male child and the child may bear the brunt of her lie...what was she waiting for?
Was she really just thinking about the child...and not herself? She wanted to escape SD's wrath. Any mother who believes that her husband is capable of killing their child would rather die than let him take the child away. What if SD killed the child in anger as soon as he found out? Why did she save a potential child killer and enable him to have access to the child?
Yes she has low self esteem...but is she really that meek and docile as she tries to portray herself? A truly meek and docile person doesn't suddenly become aggressive, rude and abusive towards certain people...she mistreats Jo because she knows that she will get away with it. Even if Jalal comes to know of it, Jo will not let him punish her...so it is ok for her to forget that both she and SD would have been Nazarband and jailband respectively but for Jodha. A person who mistreats a person who was her guardian angel is neither meek nor docile in my opinion. She is aware of SD's obsession for Jo...she claims that he is capable of killing his own flesh and blood ...what will he do to Jo if he finds her alone and accessible? At least she could have warned Jo about SD's intentions...taken a vachan that she wont disclose it to Jalal.
She is desperate to stay married. Her marital status to her is what Audha is to Ruk. But she dint think twice before ruining another woman's marriage... during Jo false pregnancy track. She made Jo look like a liar in front of Jalal by lying during Sukanya wedding track.
Forget Jodha, she is not loyal to her own brother. She is aware that SD eyes his takht and his love. Still keeps SD around in Agra where he has access to both.
Being a victim is not synonymous with being innocent. Selfish people can also become victims. Yes they need support and protection...but they cannot be justified for putting other people in danger just because they love the idea of being in love with their tormentor.
I used to volunteer at a battered women shelter during my student days...I learnt something that was new to me. Not all victims are the same. Some are survivors who do not give up hope and work towards being self-sufficient and independent. There are others who develop "victim mentality" and secretly love their victim avatar which brings them a lot of attention and sympathy. I learnt the hard way that both types need to be dealt in a different manner. While the first type do well with emotional, financial and other forms of support...the second type need to be pulled out of their self-pitying victim mentality mode first. We don't do them a favor by feeling sorry for them. They need help but combine it with a dose of reality check.
JAfanCharu
I would like to share my views about Bakshi Bano's mindset and her behavior . I would also like to emphasize on the fact I am not sympathizing with Bakshi's state of affairs or with the blunder that she has committed . I am only analyzing her mindset . The readers are free to agree or disagree . Each one has their own thinking that should be respected .
Bakshi Bano was a widow who was married by Sharifuddin at Jalal's insistence . Jalal's intentions behind this union was a good one . He wanted Bakshi to be happy since she had seen a lot of grief being widowed so early in life .
Both Jalal and Bakshi had no clue about Sharifuddin's actual personality. This rat had his own agenda set , in wanting to marry Bakshi . Marrying Jalal's sister had its pluses . 1) Wealth , power and position in the Mughal court . 2) Misusing the same position to gather inside information to plot against Jalal and 3) Easier access to Jodha for ogling at and flirting with her .
Having been widowed so early in life , Bakshi thinks that Sharifuddin has given her a new lease in life . She is ready to go to any extent to please him . One can recall the incident where she was instrumental in giving the "potion" to Jodha that made her appear pregnant , at the insistence of her husband . The rogue Sharifuddin used her as a puppet to get his job done . One may wonder as to why Bakshi played along with him .
A weak traumatized mind oftentimes says and does things that can cause grief to the own self and to others . A weak person can be easily bullied and made to travel the wrong path and can become a victim of circumstance them-self . This is exactly the case of Bakshi Bano .
She was pardoned by the kindhearted Jodha , who also informed the royal family about her pregnancy and convinced Jalal to bring her out of isolation . She also convinced Jalal to pardon SD since it would be most necessary for him to spend time with his pregnant wife . Jalal obliged , Sharifuddin found this as an opportunity to ogle at Jodha . One call recall the scene when he was leching at Jodha in the swimming pool playing with little Rahim , Bakshi catches him redhanded .
How did Bakshi react towards Sharifuddin's behavior ? She did tell him that it was inappropriate , she faced physical abuse for pointing it out . She was fearful to show anymore verbal defiance , so became resentful towards the subject of SD's attentions , namely Jodha . Instead of even attempting to point out his mistakes she directs her anger at the unsuspecting Jodha . She already has a meek and docile personality . Added to this , feelings of inferiority have settled in , causing her to be jealous towards Jodha . Bakshi is not a bad person . She does not hate Jodha . It was the very same Bakshi who came running from prison to pray for Jodha , when she was lying unconscious as a result of the poison . It is only the resentment towards the attention that SD is showing Jodha , that forces her not to cast her vote for Jodha , during the harem elections .
Being fearful , anxiety ridden , getting abused and tolerating it has become part of her personality . She does not have the courage to stand up against the abuser i.e. her husband Sharifuddin . .
This part of her persona is exactly the reason for her lying about the gender of her baby . It was not intentional or pre-planned . She was petrified of SD's reaction to siring a baby girl , she said the first thing that came to mind without thinking of its consequences .
It makes me wonder how she , who couldn't defend herself , defend a baby girl that her monster husband was dead against having . Her motherly instincts made her choose the first thought that came to mind which sadly backfired in the worst way possible . In today's episode , she even tearfully acknowledges that she was scared of SD's reaction to the birth of a girl and that is why she lied .
A fearful and stressed mind does not think clearly or rationally . It only panics .
One may ask why she did not confide in HB, SB or even Jalal . Again , she desperately wanted only her husband's affections not any other family members' . She did not want to expose SD , for fear of being alienated by him . Her lying and getting caught clearly signify her cry for help . All of her fears , insecurities and the beast SD's impossible behavior will come out in the open . Both Jodha and Salima Begum will provide Bakshi with the emotional strength that she desperately needs .
This segment of JA is not just focussing on justice for the girl child , but also brings to light the plight of emotionally, verbally and physically abused women throughout the world . No woman should put up with any form of abuse is what we need to learn .
Bakshi reacted exactly the way I feared she would . I expected nothing better from a person in her position .
She is emotionally and physically scarred and wounded. Her loving brother jumps to her defense . What does she do ? Stands up for her abusive husband . Wake up Bakshi ------ You need help .
We were all angry and upset at her stupidity . In spite of repeated requests from her brother , she was petrified to show the scars on her face , because she very well knew that Jalal would beat up SD to pulp ( and rightly so ) . Why is she behaving so weirdly ?
Her mind actually believes that she is responsible for Sharifuddin's behavior . His constant taunts have also led her to believe that she had committed some huge mistake by not mothering a baby boy . Her inferiority complex and low self esteem also lead her to believe that Sharif ogles at other women because she is not good enough for him .
This is exactly why she has defended him much to the shock of her brother . She is guilty and holds herself responsible for Sharif's behavior. The emotion that she feels for Sharif is fear , not love . It does not matter that she is a princess . She has everything good going for her , the love of her family , her brother's love and support but still all she cares for , is the love of her super abusive lecherous husband .
Victims of abuse , hold themselves responsible for the abuse . They are programmed to think that way .This is why they never defend themselves , share their woes or accept help from an outside source . Very often they have no self esteem , are depressed , stressed and anxious and do not have clarity in thought , word and action . Oftentimes they end their lives , unable to cope with the stress .
These days there are counseling services and all kinds of help , including medication for anxiety and depression , available for victims of abuse . However 400 years back , a woman was always held responsible for all her husbands faults . We all saw how everyone attacked Bakshi for lying, without giving a thought as to what could have possessed her to do such a thing .
I have a very strong feeling that the Creatives are going to surprise us by showing something totally unexpected from the meek , submissive , abused Bakshi . The scum bag Sharif may try harming the baby and that is when Bakshi will shock herself , by attacking him . Better still , he may get hit by Jodha herself , when he tries to misbehave with her . SD may also try to attack Jalal for publicly disgracing him and get beaten up nicely in the process .
I loved the manner in which Jalal punched Sharif. I felt that asking the ladies to slipper him was too light a punishment for this wretch . The women were hesitant and did not do a good job of hitting him . Jalal should have skinned this monster and then applied salt on his wounds . He is definitely not going to leave SD alone . He will get to the crux of the matter and figure out all his other wrong doings too . I felt that the shehenshah lost his stand , when he had to bow down to his sister's unreasonable and wrong request , by stopping the punishment being meted to his atrocious brother-in-law . He was prevented from doing the right thing . However his picking up the sword in anger is an indication that a feud of some kind is in the offing . This time SD escaped due to Bakshi's interference , however Jalal should catch him alone and pulverize him . I will be one happy viewer . ( Parag Tyagi deserves praise for the wonderful portrayal of Sharifuddin )
I am sincerely hoping that the Creatives show us a reformed , sensible , strong and brave Bakshi who actually stands up for herself and her baby girl . I also want to see other ladies in the harem , besides Jodha and Salima standing up for Bakshi's cause , especially Hamida Begum , Bakshi's mother . If Hamida Bano sets an example of being strong , this will automatically give emotional strength to Bakshi . I want to see normal women , with normal personalities and reactions . I know that we have to put up with the highly abnormal Rukkaiyya for some more time . I feel the other ladies in the harem should also have roles to play besides standing like well dressed mannequins .
Edited by MaddyO - 11 years ago
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