She saw them all, without really seeing them.. like she had been a part of all, without ever belonging to anyone. A reluctant bride, an enraged woman, a heartbroken daughter.. All the parts of her that were just that - parts.
People change. They adapt, they accept, they feel again.. They feel so much! And yet, they believe that that they never would. She believed she never would. It hurt too much to feel, to trust. It was lovely to be numb.
But he would not allow her even that.
He.
Her husband.
Shahenshah of the Mughal Sultanate - Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar. Descendent of a long line of powerful rulers. The blood of a pure warrior displayed to all its glory in powerful shoulders, the muscles in his arms bulging with the slightest movement, legs braced apart, the alert eyes missing nothing..
Sometimes, when she looked at him, she forgot who he was, who she was. She forgot all the reasons she loathe him. She just looked at him, unable to tear her eyes from his features - so harsh, so compelling. Sometimes, on days when her Kanha smiled down upon her, she would see the mask he wore for the world slip, his gaze becoming possessive and dark. Like he would enslave her to him if she would let him.. Like he would join himself to her and she would only exist as a part of him.
Sometimes, she wondered how the joining would feel.
He was looking at her that way now, stripping away her mantle of blessed numbness. The pain slowly trickled through the walls she had erected to keep reality from crashing down.
She struggled to look away from his eyes, the kohl around them serving to enhance their depth and intensity. So dark, so sinfully beautiful. So treacherous. Through the sheer blue veil covering her face, they drew a little of her towards him a bit at a time.
What did he see when he looked at her? Did he see her body's involuntary awareness when she could sense he was near without her gaze falling upon him? Did he know how fast her heart beat at his devilish smirks? Their shared laughter, the knowing looks, the moments when they touched.. Did he know it was like a knife twisting in her heart now?
Did he even care?
Jodha pursed her lips, lifting her head higher in defiance to the feelings she deliberately stamped down. Breaking her gaze from his with an effort, she cast a scornful glance at those around her. They will never break her. They will never own her.
He will never own her.
To be continued..
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