Chapter 1
Reduced to a Shadow
The landscape is filled with dried brown foliage as far as the eye can see, not a green leaf in sight. My home looks like a town abandoned when, in fact, me and my pack of condors are the rules of the land. I jump from tree to tree with loud falls of branches clearing the path. The playful shrieks of the birds above is evident of their love toward me. If only life could on like this forever. Alas that cannot be. The dangers of the mountain appear when you least expect them. My beloved white condor jumps out like an ivory dot from the blue sky. Gnawing on my braided locks, he coos and pulls me toward the edge of a cliff. I obediently follow as he leads the way to a distressed boy about my age surrounded by armed men. They look like a band of thieves, wielding their swords at the young one. He is clutching on to something precious, scared yet unwilling to give it away. Looks like he lost his way in the hills. Or could it be that he was abducted from his caravan?
I think twice before making my move. I am hardly eight, with no one but the condors to shield my way. What if the thieves outnumber us? Even though daddy lets me run free mum says young girls need to be careful. If I get a scar, no one will marry me. I am still weighing my options but, my white condor has made up his mind. He wants to save the boy and he's fighting the black condors to follow his orders. The other condors are waiting for my signal.
I turn stiff, stuck between a rock and a hard place.
"I'll help him". I finally decide. But before I can make a move, another boy jumps out from behind the rose bushes. He blindly lashes out at the bandits with a wooden stick. Seconds later, they have him tied and pinned to the ground. With their mocking laughter, they enrage him all the more. The little boy with the sought after possession is still not giving in. Finally, the thieves decide to kill him for the riches. As they wage their weapons in a violent attack, my condor rushes past me to charge at the thieves.
"Follow", I order his friends. I watch from above as a black cloud of predator birds swarms above the terrified thieves. I wave my hands to orchestrate their strategic attack. One by one, the bandits clear away until only the two little boys are left on the ground.
I jump down and land some feet away from them. "Are you alright? How can I help?"
My condors line up around me as the boys recollect their scattered thoughts. With a still dazed look, the boy holding the prized item greets me.
"Salaam, I am Mirza and this is Sohail. We are with the Mughal caravan. We got abducted during our trip and now we've lost our parents..."
He never finishes his sentence and instead, starts bawling uncontrollably. I would pity him if not for the interruption by his arrogant prick of a friend.
"Hey commoner girl, get us out of here. And while you're at it, tell your annoying birds to give way".
Pick my dates and seed them too? What an ass! By this point, I am seeing red.
"Fine. I'll take you back to safety but you better pray that we never meet again. Because next time, if the thieves don't kill you first then I will murder you myself".
I stomp on a mud puddle so it splashes on his face and lead the way. My condors are having trouble hovering around these strangers so they peck and pluck as they please. I guard the polite boy but let the birds do their mischief around the prick.
"I command you to stop your idiot pets!" he screams in vain.
I let the madness stretch out for another five minutes before finally pitying him enough to shoo the condors away. He curses under his breath but does not disobey until we are back in camp.
My father is the leader of a nomadic Sindh tribe. The Sindhi are kind people and we take in visitors by the hundreds when special needs arise. Though we do not keep grudges for too long, my father is sure to remember favours for generations. As soon as he sees me returning with two strangers, he rushes to my side. I jump up on his lap and he signals the two boys inside his tent.
"Who do we have here?"
The boy called Mirza bows to my father and Sohail interrupts. "Prince you mustn't". Mirza shushes him and continues. I really think this Sohail is out of his mind. How dare he not greet the tribe leader?
"He is the Mughal prince", Sohail proudly proclaims.
"Is that so?" daddy nods amusingly.
"We thank you for saving our lives but you must not accept a bow from him".
I have had just about enough of his pride. I am ready to bite when daddy entertains his views.
"You are right. I will not accept the bow, not because he is a prince but because I am not the one who saved your lives. You must bow to my daughter. She is your creditor".
Mirza immediately obeys causing my cheeks to flush red and pink.
"Daddy", I run to hide in my father's embrace. He laughs and calls for a messenger to be sent to the Mughal envoy.
"It's alright boys. I know who you are. General Bairam Khan has already sent us a warning signal regarding your abduction. Since I owe your ancestors a favour, you two will be my guests until the Mughals arrive". I never understand daddy's motivations behind helping these plunderers but if he says we must then we must.
I dare not say it to his face but I internally question my father's decision. Even if they look favourably on us for a while, a time will come when we are no longer useful. Then they will crush us without reason. I can only hope that my father is long gone by then. I can survive this failing of trust because I expect it but he can't even though he knows it is inevitable. When I grow up though, I am going to find a different route. Better to stay out of their way then to butt heads against a wall and break your own bones.
While I was busy battling their sincerity in my head, my father had plans of his own. Little did I know that "blood is thicker than water" would come to bite me in ass one day.
I stand in front of my mother's chambers. She is busy combing the hair of my elder siblings. I, the gullible young one, never get her affections. I am adopted after all. But that never bothered me until now. I knew my daddy picked me up off the streets. Since then, we've become a proud father-daughter pair walking the same streets with our heads held high. Even though I ought to be wary in this strange place, I never build a shell around my feelings. My daddy could walk right into my heart any time he wanted. He saved me so my heart belongs to him. Alas, I peeled it open a little too much, a little too soon.
At the tender age of eight, daddy has decided that his biological children matter more than me. The gloomy day when General Bairam Khan comes to pick up his lost princes, he doesn't just take the tribal riches with him, he takes my father's daughter.
Daddy calls me into his tent and sits me down on his lap for the last time. "You are no longer daddy's little Sai Kai". He rains many kisses on my forehead. I am dazed, weeping without a reason. He kisses my tears away and points to the arrogant boy Sohail.
"From now on, he will be your master and you will be his shadow. Any danger that comes his way must pass through you first. I no longer have a daughter called Sai Kai. I am giving you away. I hereby name you Saya, Sohail ka Saya. Saya will only leave Sohail in a coffin, understand?"
I look to my mother. She is restless but restrained. I turn to my siblings and they are mute. My condors are crying, howling in their cages but no will listen to them. The two boys from earlier wear winning smiles. I am looking for a crack, a tear in the ground that will open up and swallow me. How can I live when I no longer exist? Sai Kai is dead, my father says. I am dead!
My father just killed me but I see no blood, only dried tears. I am looking for a coffin, some ashes, last rites, anything to confirm my non-existence. But he pushes me into a new body, a stranger soul. How can I ever be reduced to shadow? I already am, he calls me Saya.
"No daddy". I beg, I kneel, I bow my head until it is blood red. No one pays a heed. My white condor perches on top of my shoulder and clutches on as they drag me out to the caravan. I become Sohail's Saya.
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Anupamaa
